How do I handle this comment? Wedding related..

Rora

<font color=darkorchid>I'm the needy, sexy Unicorn
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Aug 27, 2007
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I am getting married on April 10th and am so very excited! :banana::banana::banana:
The other day I was talking with a few "friends" who thought it was ridiculous that I was choosing to wear a white wedding dress. They basically told me that since I've been dating and living with DFiance for so many years, it was entirely inappropriate to wear white. They also said that they had spoke to other friends and even family members of mine who thought it was silly that I was going to wear white!

I'm very upset. I KNOW I shouldn't let this bother me but for some reason it really really does. Of course I'm not going to run out and buy a new wedding dress- I love mine!- to appease these people. I was speechless when they said this to me... I have no idea how to respond and for some reason they keep bringing it up (great friends, huh?). So how can I tactfully tell them to shut the heck up and mind their own beeswax without offending the most offendable people on the planet? Thanks for helping out an emotional bride... :flower3:
 
Honestly I'm really tacky when it comes to people and their noseiness. I would tell them that if I can't wear white because I lived with my financee then unless they are "pure" they won't be wearing white either. Frankly it's none of their business and if it bothers them that bad they should keep their mouthy behinds at home.
 
White symbolizes joy. It's entirely appropriate for you to wear white. Congrats on your upcoming wedding!!! :goodvibes
 
Everyone I know wore a white wedding dress regardless of their level of "purity". Some were on their second wedding and some already had kids.

The "only the pure wear a white dress" nonsense is completely outdated in most of society so I would have just laughed at these people and said something along the lines of welcome to the 21st century. I don't know why people care so much about what other people do anyway.
 

Hey, if Madonna can wear white on her wedding day anybody can!;)

Wear your dress, be beautiful and have fun!:thumbsup2
 
Are these "friends" in your wedding party?

I only ask because it would be hard to replace them at this date, but frankly I would tell them I really don't care what they think. Unless the can certify they were virgins when they get or got married then you hope they will opt out of white.

Then I would very kindly suggest they all take a great flying leap off the nearest highest bridge.

If they are not in your wedding party tell them to stay home and you will do the same on their wedding days thereby saving you some money or giving you the ability to invite "friends" who want to help celebrate this day with you and your SO.

and lastly get better friends!!!!!
 
Oh good grief! What a wonderful group of friends. I'm confused, what do they suggest you wear instead? A bright red wedding dress with a scarlet letter on it or something? Everyone wears white regardless of their past. I'd seriously ask them what they think you should wear. That should shut them up!:laughing: Don't let them ruin this time for you. Focus on the man you love and the fact that you'll be married in less than 2 weeks!:goodvibes
 
I am getting married on April 10th and am so very excited! :banana::banana::banana:
The other day I was talking with a few "friends" who thought it was ridiculous that I was choosing to wear a white wedding dress. They basically told me that since I've been dating and living with DFiance for so many years, it was entirely inappropriate to wear white. They also said that they had spoke to other friends and even family members of mine who thought it was silly that I was going to wear white!

I'm very upset. I KNOW I shouldn't let this bother me but for some reason it really really does. Of course I'm not going to run out and buy a new wedding dress- I love mine!- to appease these people. I was speechless when they said this to me... I have no idea how to respond and for some reason they keep bringing it up (great friends, huh?). So how can I tactfully tell them to shut the heck up and mind their own beeswax without offending the most offendable people on the planet? Thanks for helping out an emotional bride... :flower3:

You know what, you don't say anything to them. They have stated their feelings and quite honestly I would not get into a urinating contest with them to prove you are "right".

If you want to say something to them for a response you say, I hear what you are saying, however I am wearing white.

If they rant against you, just keep repeating, I hear what you are saying but I am wearing white.

In other words do not load up the ammo for them. Say as little as possible.:hug:
 
What else are you supposed to wear?

I've never seen a traditional wedding dress that wasn't white. :confused3 Are they really suggesting that since you're not a virgin you can't wear a wedding dress and should just show up in a brightly colored evening gown?


These people are incredibly rude. I really don't think that many people are "pure" on their wedding day, so that would mean that there should only be a handful of brides wearing traditional wedding dresses.
 
I would think the manufacturers of white wedding dress material would go out of business if every 'non-virgin' had to wear another colour! :thumbsup2

In the 21st Century the vast, vast majority of people have 'tested the waters' so to speak so I doubt if anyone will REALLY care one way or another. I had cream at my wedding, not because I lived with my DH for 7 years before the wedding, but because white makes my skin and hair look yellow! :cool1:
 
OMG how ridiculous! You'd do well to ignore that kind of moronic comments. :rolleyes:

If it makes you feel any better, I wore white at my wedding... and I was three months pregnant! Oh, the horror!! :eek:
 
It's your Day, so do it your way :goodvibes ... don't worry about what others think or say ... they are probably just jealous that you are so happy so they are trying to find something to say to bring you down :guilty: ...

Enjoy your Day, enjoy your Dress and Congratulations!! :goodvibes
 
Honestly I'm really tacky when it comes to people and their noseiness. I would tell them that if I can't wear white because I lived with my financee then unless they are "pure" they won't be wearing white either. Frankly it's none of their business and if it bothers them that bad they should keep their mouthy behinds at home.

I agree. Next time ask them where their purity rings are.:laughing: Who cares what anyone thinks. Enjoy your day and if you want to wear white, black or rainbow that is YOUR business.
 
. I have no idea how to respond and for some reason they keep bringing it up (great friends, huh?). So how can I tactfully tell them to shut the heck up and mind their own beeswax without offending the most offendable people on the planet? Thanks for helping out an emotional bride... :flower3:

Tactfully? TACTfully?? Are you kidding? These so-called friends have been anything but tactful. You are not being an emotional bride. They are being BUTTS. If you don't want to keep hearing about this then you need to stop it at the door. The minute they bring it up you stop them. Put up both hands in the international STOP signal and say" NO. I don't want to hear it. And if you continue I will have to leave or ask you to leave. This is not YOUR wedding, it's mine. So I get to choose."

I have never understood this notion of "being brutally honest" with our friends and family. Polite conventions dictate that we should always strive to uplift those we love and help them save face when we can. The first rule of friendship is that we don't hurt each other on purpose. These so-called friends may be saying that they're trying to be helpful, but really they are getting in digs at you. This is very passive-aggressive behavior. If you don't want to hear it, then STOP.

And enjoy your big day. We were married 29 years ago April 11, a beautiful time of year.
 
Back in the "olden days" you skipped the heavily veiled look if you weren't a virgin;)
You know -where the veil covers the front of the face-then is lifted off-like Princess diana did.

Otherwise-thats a dumb comment-lost of couples live together before marriage.
 
Your "friends" are being ridiculous. I lived with my DH 3 years before we were married and I wore white. I haven't been to a wedding where a bride hasn't worn white and they have the kids to prove they weren't virgins. I would tell them to mind their own business.
 
I wouldn't say a word, I would get off the phone immediately or walk out of room every time they started.

Honestly though, they aren't really your friends if they keep bringing it up over and over . I would NEVER say a word to a good friend about something like this, heck it wouldn't even occur to me to say something. Who cares!!
 
Rora,

I am a certified event and wedding planner who has had extensive training in protocol and etiquitte. I'm giving you my credentials in case someone asks you who made me an expert. :goodvibes

Ignore your supposedly well meaning friend. If she, or anyone else, brings up the subject again, politely tell the person that it is your choice. Then direct the conversation to another topic.

If you feel the need to educate this person, please explain that wearing white is no longer only for first time brides. Many encore brides also choose white for their wedding dresses. White is symbolic of joy in many cultures.

My best wishes for a long and happy life with your soon to be husband!

Susan
 
Yeah, and the 99% of other non-virgins who get married shouldn't wear white, either. :rotfl2: I dated DH for 6 years and lived with him 1 year before we got married (didn't tell grandma about the living together :rolleyes1), and never even thought not to wear white.
 
The tradition of white symbolizing "purity" is fairly recent, while white wedding dresses have been popular longer than that. Some people chose white to show that they could afford to buy an impractical dress that would only be worn once.

Frankly, it would creep me out if I thought my wedding guests were pondering my purity or the lack thereof. That certainly isn't any of their business and I would hope they had better things to think about!

Anyway, if I were you and wanted to be as tactful as possible, I'd just tell them that I didn't like the recent custom of equating white wedding dresses with "purity" and that I wasn't choosing to follow that custom. If I didn't feel like being that tactful, I would tell them it was very kind of them to take such an interest in my sex life or lack thereof but that I really didn't need their input on that aspect of my wedding. :rolleyes:
 



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