How come? MIL again. ...and then there was facebook rotfl

[bumbershoot]

I hear you, but who expects "Happy New Year" to turn into a sucker punch

Well...you should from now on.

Until a year or so ago, DH would have expected it from his mom.



His mom will still start calling around to the other kids if one of her kids doesn't call her in the time SHE feels is appropriate, on her birthday and holidays (even ones she doesn't celebrate). And once that happens, you're never believed ("I was working and was going to call AFTER work", etc etc) because they've already decided that you forgot. It's ridiculous.


She talks bad about you guys to your kids? You're way more forgiving than I am. I've written about my MIL to you before, if you read it...that would be a "never seeing you again" moment for us. And she KNOWS it. So she doesn't do it. She's changed quite a bit in the last few years, since I went well over a year without seeing or speaking to her....

 

[cm8]

Crazy keeps finding you because you live next door to it. Expect it to keep finding you.

I feel for you, OP, because yours sounds like an Everybody Loves Raymond situation. (((hugs)))

, I that show, They are all . I'm not sure who's worst, the Barrone's or Arthur from king of queens

 

[LuvOrlando]

Well...you should from now on.

Until a year or so ago, DH would have expected it from his mom.



His mom will still start calling around to the other kids if one of her kids doesn't call her in the time SHE feels is appropriate, on her birthday and holidays (even ones she doesn't celebrate). And once that happens, you're never believed ("I was working and was going to call AFTER work", etc etc) because they've already decided that you forgot. It's ridiculous.

She talks bad about you guys to your kids? You're way more forgiving than
I am. I've written about my MIL to you before, if you read it...that would be a "never seeing you again" moment for us. And she KNOWS it. So she doesn't do it. She's changed quite a bit in the last few years, since I went well over a year without seeing or speaking to her....

Sorry to hear other people have this too. What on earth is wrong with these women?

I know the easy answer is to write her off and it's totally my first instinct. But my own families evil brand of crazy already forced me into cutting them off. At this point I am just trying to salvage some kind of sense of belonging for my kids. Also, it really really is awful to have no family so I really don't want to cause that kind of pain for my DH. personally, I have no use for the lot of them.

the reason I post this stuff is because I am having a hard time figuring out how to remain civil. i'm more of the slash and burn type myself when I KNOW someone is being manipulative and malicious, which she plainly is. what I don't really know how to do is manage these personalities and I know I have to find a way for my husband's sake. no-one should feel like I do on Mothers Day and Fathers day and if it happens I don't want it on me.

 

[LuvOrlando]

, I that show, They are all . I'm not sure who's worst, the Barrone's or Arthur from king of queens

my situation is a little of both, it's just that I have audience to agree with me... Well I guess that's where you guys come in

This situation couldn't possibly be more ridiculous

 

[hereyago]

Sorry to hear other people have this too. What on earth is wrong with these women?

I think there is a secret school for people like this and my DM created the school.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

I know the easy answer is to write her off and it's totally my first instinct. But my own families evil brand of crazy already forced me into cutting them off. At this point I am just trying to salvage some kind of sense of belonging for my kids. Also, it really really is awful to have no family so I really don't want to cause that kind of pain for my DH. personally, I have no use for the lot of them.

the reason I post this stuff is because I am having a hard time figuring out how to remain civil. i'm more of the slash and burn type myself when I KNOW someone is being manipulative and malicious, which she plainly is. what I don't really know how to do is manage these personalities and I know I have to find a way for my husband's sake. no-one should feel like I do on Mothers Day and Fathers day and if it happens I don't want it on me.

First, subjecting your children to this woman and her antics is counterproductive and not at all healthy. From what you wrote, she is trying to drive a wedge into your family. I would have a talk with her, or have your husband do the talking and let her know in no uncertain terms that your children are not her sounding board, and if she continues, the children will not be allowed over there without your supervision. Secondly, you have exchanged one brand of evil for another, and that is possibly part of the reason you and your dh were attracted to each other in the first place. Evil is much like rust; once it attaches itself to something, it eats away at it until there is nothing of any value left.

Talk to your husband. He is being manipulated and used by his parents. He is an adult, not a second husband to his mother. Why should his parents work things out if your husband is going to constantly go over there to make nice? He appears to be a co-dependent and enabler.

Putting up with little idiosyncrasies and annoyances is one thing. From what you described, this woman is far beyond that. Family is a nice idea. But when family is toxic that idea is no longer good. Your children could end up with people much like the evil you are trying to protect them from.

 

[LuvOrlando]

That's a very sobering thought and something to think about for a while.

My MIL really spends very very little time with my kids. In general the in-laws are incredibly selfish and all 'been there done that' about raising a family so they never ever babysit or neven look nto spend time with the kids for anything ever. So just now i was wondering when exactly this was happening. Every now and again my daughter will ask to stay with MIL instead of joining us at one of my son's basket ball games so this has got to be when this has gone on so now it stops. She doesn't know it yet but she's been benched for the remainder of my kids childhoods.

 

[tlbwriter]

Her "explanation" is still a lot of drama and self-pity. No one would bring her Gatorade? Doesn't water work for dehydration?

 

[LuvOrlando]

Funny you say that. MIL called lat night to tell my husband how wonderful the cherry Gatorade he picked up for her tastes. She got me on the phone but didn't want to speak to him. On the phone with me she was all sweet and pleasant. I let it slide but I know and she knows this was only to please her son.

Today they were banished from my Sunday dinner table, time for a time out

 

[MoniqueU]

Well from where I am coming from that doesn't sound that bad or hard to put up with! I could deal fine with that, I have some stories that would curl your toes. My mom lives with us and the stuff my husband and myself have put up with on and off for years out of respect and obligation to her and then the stuff with my MIL and god rot his soul my deceased FIl your conversation sounds like a walk in the park!! Hug your husband and be grateful.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Grateful? No.

If you want to just share stories that's fine but doing a comparison and saying I should be grateful I'm not you is not at all supportive. In fact its one of MIL's all time favorite games and it usually begins with :

If you think.... is bad, how would you like ....

Life is not a contest to see who has it worse, and if it is I would very happily trade hands and lose.

This isn't my whole story, just a ridiculous sideshow that has erupted over the holidays for who knows what reason. I suspect MIL has been bored, either that or ticked off we didn't care that they went away for Thanksgiving and had a wonderful time without them... dunno

 

[tlbwriter]

There's always going to be someone who says "you have no right to complain because some people have it worse." And that means that no one who is alive has a right to ever complain about anything at all - including the person telling you their problems are worse than yours!

Have you visited Mother In Law Stories? You might find it helpful.

 

[LuvOrlando]

With that I just realized I'm a flippin' cliche'... ugggh, how icky, a little funny but mostly icky

 

[ols386]

I remember your cheesecake thread. I think you said that everyone around MIL enables her to behave the way she does and just gives in to her whims because they don't want to hear about if it they don't.

Did your DH ask his Df if the above was truly the case? and you know, when people have enough "BS", they do say to the other person I don't care or I don't want to help you. So it could be possible your FIL was essentially saying to her that she can do it herself because he has had enough.

But waiting until the other person is ill, isn't the best time to start saying I don't want to help you because I'm tired of your BS. That seems very cold and insensitive to me. But I get what you're saying.

 

[LuvOrlando]

... and the plot thickens.

MIL's quest to be a victim seems to be gathering steam. At the moment The Witches of Eastwick are gathering next door, MIL has called on her absolutely devilish half sister from out of town, the woman is an evil cartoon character and FIL is home today. I have zero idea what is brewing over there but it won't be good. Anyone have an invisibility cloak Good thing it's freezing out, they don't like the cold, I'm safe as long as I stay here... i think

 

[tlbwriter]

Looks like a good day to not answer the phone or door. "Sorry, I was sick in bed!"

 

[okeydokey]

... and the plot thickens.

MIL's quest to be a victim seems to be gathering steam. At the moment The Witches of Eastwick are gathering next door, MIL has called on her absolutely devilish half sister from out of town, the woman is an evil cartoon character and FIL is home today. I have zero idea what is brewing over there but it won't be good. Anyone have an invisibility cloak Good thing it's freezing out, they don't like the cold, I'm safe as long as I stay here... i think

Good luck. Act like you don't care and it will drive them crazy!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sorry OP,

You and your husband (and your innocent kids) are getting EXACTLY what you are asking for.

Surely you have to see how it looks when you live next door to 'crazy' and you ask how it keeps finding you.

Your MIL has some heavy issues...
She is a complete and total passive-aggressive, narcissistic manipulator.
Just because your mother was 'worse' does not make it okay, in any way shape form or fashion.

I mentioned in my very first post on your previous thread that there are some real problems and issues here,
whether you chose to see and/or admit it or not.

 

[Heidict]

Maybe I'm not well versed on the back story seeing as I only remember the cheesecake story and a couple of other ones, but I can't understand why you have such hatred and venom for this woman?

She wants a cheesecake, you refuse to make one, and that makes her self-centered and manipulative?

She needed Gatorade, FIL refused to get it for her, she calls your house, where you undoubtedly were rude to her on the phone so she doesn't bother asking, yet this somehow is getting turned around into her being evil? And for the person who asked, when you are sick you need more then just water, you need electrolytes. Water does not contain this, Gatorade does.

Again, maybe I'm just not seeing it all, but I have a hard time understanding why you hate her so much?

 

[castleview]

You need to move!