"How can you afford a Disney Trip?"

[jacksonsmom]

Originally posted by Lisa P.

I wonder if the OP is not feeling insecure about this decision (two trips in one year, while raising a family in an apartment). The OP seems defensive, which would be unnecessary if truly confident that this decision were the wisest and best in this situation. Just a thought.

Actually no, I am not feeling insecure about this trip. I feel we earned the extra money & we DESERVE this trip. I do feel my in laws are very jealous because we are going on this trip. I am just tired of their jealousy issues & trying to make DH & I seem like we are doing something so wrong.

If buying a house is something that would please you, seriously look into it and don't just assume that you cannot afford it - even with vacations planned for this year

See that is the thing, right now we are not ready. We know that. We will be looking into a home next year sometime, after the car & some other bills are paid off.
Yes, a house would be nice, but I know if we were to get a house right now with the debts we have & on top of new bills, like water, sewer, heat (bills we don't have to worry about in an apartment) we would really be scraping by.

Maybe they are too controlling or critical in other ways too.

See that is where the problems lays. I have a very bad relatioship with my in-laws (MIL being the worse) I could tell you a ton of stories that she has said or done to me & DH. From the very beginning of DH's & I relationship she did not like me. "Claims I took away her son" So you see every thing DH & I do she puts it down, tears it apart, etc. so I do admit I get very defensive when it comes to her & her thoughts about how we don't "deserve" this trip.
She just really gets to me sometimes....OK, a lot of the time! We see her on average about twice a year & that is because of the way she is. I don't want my son around someone who is always complaining, always putting something down, etc. He doesn't need to hear that. (it's just not us she puts down, my MIL is just a type of person that sees life dark & gloomy....never happy....that's pretty sad when you sit down & think about it)

To the OP, I hope you enjoy your trips with your family. They are important and how you plan them is your business.

Thank you! I hope I didn't come off too defensive. Whenever I talk about my inlaws, I do get defensive. We could be taking a Six Flags for a day & they would have something to say about it. You would think DH & I would have learn by now not to tell them anything, but we haven't....we are learning!

 

[Imelda in TX]

Just today at lunch with my parents I mentioned our WDW trip for June 2004, to ask if they cared to join us as they did June 2002. My mom basically said that I needed to stop the nonsense of throwing money away on these trips.

We own our home and have reliable vehicles. Our needs are all met (thanks to the Lord). However, to some people, vacationing/travelling is just a waste of money.

The OP, like me, has priorities that involve family vacationing and travel. We prepay everything and charge nothing on credit cards. As long as I am not going into debt, borrowing from others, etc, why should I have to justify my expenses to anyone else?

And, yes, we are going for 3 weeks, staying in deluxes, have 14 PSs, and determined to buy a Star Wars sword (light saber?) for my DH.

This vacation is a priority for my family. We love the anticipation, the 24-hour drive in a minivan, the WDW experience, and the total exhaustion on the drive home. We savor every single moment of it. I wouldn't trade for a fatter savings account.

 

[MrsPete]

I personally couldn't go on multiple, expensive vacations every year if I didn't live in a paid-for house and drive a paid-for car and know that my children's college education is provided for.

When we were married (13 years ago) we decided that we'd scrimp and save until we were SECURE. We did it, and now we have plenty of extra money to "play with." This is really nice because our children are just the right ages to take some really fun trips. I don't regret the lean years one bit.

 

[Lisa P.]

Jacksonsmom, I'm so glad you took my previous post as graciously as you did.

From the very beginning of DH's & I relationship she did not like me. "Claims I took away her son" ... We see her on average about twice a year & that is because of the way she is. I don't want my son around someone who is always complaining, always putting something down, etc.

This kind of boundary limit-setting seems very healthy. So many younger adults don't understand that when we set boundaries on how much undermining behavior we will tolerate, we are still able to honor our parents. If we don't set some limits, the relationship will often eventually deteriorate to the point of disappearing altogether. And that would be a shame.

...they would have something to say about it. You would think DH & I would have learn by now not to tell them anything, but we haven't....we are learning!

Aren't we all!

 

[yankeerose]

We vacation anywhere and whenever we feel like it. We charge EVERYTHING and pay it off slowly. Our oldest son past away 8 years ago, and we do not take tomorrow for granted. We have bills up to our necks, mortgage, car loan, braces and credit cards, its our business, if we don't make the payments then we'll pay the consequences. My in laws know we feel very differently now then we did 8 years ago. My advice to anyone reading this is, if possible don't put off time spent making family memories, you are not garaunteed a next year, month, day, hour. We are home owners, but our happiest family memories are when we are on vacation with our children. Maybe you should show your MIL this post.

 

[lexis53]

My dad is asking me the same thing. I told him that life is how it is.

DD (4, 5 In August) has been begging to go to WDW. I have been waiting to find the right time and this year is the right time. I am in grad school and starting law school in the fall so we are trying for August (if my schedule works with school) or in December.

I will have enough saved for a Value Resort onsite. She and I are used to sharing big meals so food will be shared. And she is used to being the child of a single parent. If I pack souvenirs in our bags, she will be in heaven. All she wants after watching the Promo DVD Disney sent us is a character breakfast so she can see all her "buddies"

I take her on a vacation every year. We usually spend around $800 to go to the beach. Since we live in Memphis, a flight for each of us will be inexpensive. And IF I can make it through the Fairytale Package deadline for August, then I priced the two of us to come in under $1000 at a value.

Now I told my dad that his grandchild really wants to go. This might be the last year that I can go till graduation so we are going.

And to anyone saying a 4 year old won't remember....my daughter remembers tiny details from two years ago We can't wait for this trip

 

[jacksonsmom]

Originally posted by yankeerose
. Our oldest son past away 8 years ago, and we do not take tomorrow for granted.

I am so sorrry Yankeerose. My heart goes out to you & your family.

Your post is so true to the heart. No one knows what tomorrow brings. In our town we just had a man die in a car crash, he was 28 yrs old & left behind a wife & 4 young children. Life doesn't always turn out the way we picture it & we should live in the moment.

My son is my miracle child. First it wasn't easy conceiving him, second he had a differcult birth & he was not doing good when he first came into this world. Thankfully within minutes the doctors got him breathing again & he is perfect as can be now! But yes, we do alot together as a family, go to the zoo, movies, museum, asumement parks, etc. Some people make comments that I "spoil him" I usually brush it off & say something to the affect of "he's my child to spoil if that's what you think I am doing"

I guess what I am trying to say is that houses, cars, etc are just THINGS, they really don't mean much to a child....but making memories with your child can last a lifetime!

 

[Abra Cat]

I've found the best response to such nosy/critical questions is a simple, "I'm sorry you feel that way" and then change the subject. Most people will get the hint after a couple times.

 

[Pugsley]

I agree that what you do with your money is completely your business and other people have no right to criticize you for it. And I also agree that the vacations with your children and the lifelong memories are priceless. That being said, I’m with Lisa and MrsPete in that I couldn’t spend money on vacations if I didn’t own a home. To me, renting is like flushing money down the toilet. But that is a completely personal decision. I’m a person who needs to feel very financially secure. And because I’ve made responsible money decisions in the past, I now have a nest egg and the ability to buy nice things and take nice vacations. I agree with jacksonsmom about the value of living in the moment, and I would love to do whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. However, if I did that, with my luck I’d live to be 100 and would be very fat and very poor.

 

[ilovediznee]

What a breath of fresh air! I thought it was just us who get so much grief about Disney. I'm not saying we don't have debts like everyone else, but my parents never took us on any trips at all and I want our daughter to have fun growing up! It is also a time that the three of us, or more, spend together.

Thanks for making me feel better!

 

[tinaluis]

I have a wonderful plaque that hangs on the wall of my office that says: "100 years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in or the kind of car I drove .. but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child" and each time I read it it reminds me about what is important in life. It wouldn't have any more or less meaning if it hung on the wall in my house or in an apartment. My children and my husband are the most important part of my life, more important than $$, owning my own home, having a new car, etc. DH and I do whatever we have to do to maximize family time together. Others in my family question that my DH stays home full-time with our DDs (although I'm sure they wouldn't think twice if it was me) and I work a flexible schedule, but they are the same people who are always trying to keep up with the Joneses -- bigger house, newer car, all the trappings, etc. We live a simple life and try to spend as much time as possible having fun with each other. If a trip to WDW accomplishes that, it's nobody's business but ours!

 

[jacksonsmom]

Originally posted by tinaluis
"100 years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in or the kind of car I drove .. but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child"

I seen that before too & it is very true.
Too many people in America are so busy "keeping up with the Jones" that they forget what REALLY is important.

I have relatives that are always buying a new car, they are trying to get me to trade mine is because it is 5 years old. I don't care...it runs good & gets me where I want to go, plus 8 more payments & I won't have a car payment.

I don't mean one has to spend money they don't have & get themselves in bankruptcy but I am perfectly feel with people, whether they are low, middle or high income going on a family vacation to build some memories, even if that is to a once in a lifetime place like Disney World.
This Disney World trip was suppose to be a once in a lifetime trip but since we are going to be there 13 days we brought annual passes. Then when the cheap airfare deal came up we decided to go again in December.
It s our Christmas present to DH & I, we are no buying each other anything else...our mini trip to Disney will be our Christmas present.

I guess DH & I have to be bolder & tell MIL to mind her own business & leave our alone!

 

[dday2021]

My DW and I get the same thing, not so much from our families but our friends. The same friends who take off on a whim and go to Hawaii, Las Vegas, Mexico and other destinations just because they can. The same friends who buy $30,000 cars just because it has a really cool geeky toy in it.
DW and I have some debt but aside from the mortgage and a modest car payment it is nothing unmanageable. We each consistantly put $150 apiece into a savings account every month, after 12 months $3600 for a weeklong disney trip, including lodging, passes, airfare, meals and souveniers. Tax refunds, gifts or other windfall goes into the same account as a bonus, or for upgrades in lodging.
This year we are taking our DD for the first time and I cant wait to see her face as she experiences the magic. I treasure every moment with her and can't wait to take her on our yearly pilgramage to the mouse house.
Do what your are comfortable with and dont try to please anyone else besides yourself. If you are comfortable with the plans you have for your lives and what you do for recreation then go with it.

 

[yankeerose]

Jacksonsmom, thank you for the sweet reply. Enjoy your little one, they grow up too fast, I miss my babies being babies...

 

[cart-mom]

I'm tired of the old question - you were just there - how much has changed and why are you going back again? These are the same people that haven't been there in so many years WDW was only one park!

My BIL once quipped 'I'm not puttin' out $500 for a plane ticket for my kid!' When were plane tickets to Orlando ever $500 unless you were flying FC? Also, this is the same BIL who thought it was okay to spend the $100 he won at a casino on a new GBA because at least he could SEE his money. Mind you - my DS & BIL, 2 DNephews live with my Dad, both work full time, have used cars (paid for) and still have no money and bounce checks regularly. Do I tell them how to spend their money? NO!

If I can afford all of my bills (I own my home & send my kids to catholic school) and a vacation for all 6 of us why shouldn't it be to where we want to go have a great time and have happy memories every time we go? Even when Hurricane Andrew hit we had a great time there and still tell stories of trying to find a hotel room!

I'm sorry I rambled. I didn't realize how this subject really bothered me. At least we are not alone in our frustration.

There's strength in numbers!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Originally posted by tinaluis
I have a wonderful plaque that hangs on the wall of my office that says: "100 years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in or the kind of car I drove .. but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child" and each time I read it it reminds me about what is important in life.

Yep, I've got that same plaque on the wall of my office. One way I can be important to my own kids is to plan not to be a burden to them when I am older. Thus I am saving and planning for retirement now, although probably not as rapidly or shrewdly as many other folks. Four years ago DW and I made the commitment that one of us (turned out to be her) would be a stay-at-home parent until the youngest (now3.5yo) goes to kindergarten. When both are working again we will save even more than we do now.

Our current situation is a blessed one. We don't owe anyone anything. We own everything we possess and haven't paid interest on anything in 3+ years. We tithe to our community of faith, even contribute extra to the building fund! Of course we could be saving more, but that just doesn't sound so thrilling when there is so much more to life than accumulating bux or things. The time that our family of four spends with each other is precious. Even preschoolers can participate in making memories that last a lifetime. Who cares if the kids remember Splash Mountain or eating breakfast at CRT? What I want them to remember is that their mother and I loved them like crazy, sacrificed for them, taught them about living lives of servanthood and holiness, and even did some crazy unexpected things for them. God colors outside the lines all the time -what a good model for us.

In 10 days (yippeee!!!) we will make our third trip to WDW with the kids. Some people think thats just nuts, but ultimately its not their business. After this trip, we may not go back for a while, but that's a whole other thread. My in-laws just don't get it. We've always invited them to come, but they never do even though they have the means and would enjoy being at WDW with the grandkids if they just gave it a chance. Not to be coldhearted, but that's their loss -not mine.

 

[tweetsie]

Originally posted by yankeerose
We vacation anywhere and whenever we feel like it. We charge EVERYTHING and pay it off slowly. Our oldest son past away 8 years ago, and we do not take tomorrow for granted. We have bills up to our necks, mortgage, car loan, braces and credit cards, its our business, if we don't make the payments then we'll pay the consequences. My in laws know we feel very differently now then we did 8 years ago. My advice to anyone reading this is, if possible don't put off time spent making family memories, you are not garaunteed a next year, month, day, hour. We are home owners, but our happiest family memories are when we are on vacation with our children. Maybe you should show your MIL this post.

I have to agree with you. We usually take one vacation per year. I lost my son 2.5 years ago in an accident (instantly). Since then I have looked at life a lot differently. I have scheduled a cruise and vacation for this December. My husband knows about the week's vacation (timeshare) but the cruise is going to be a surprise for he and our DD.

We have a nice home and decent transportation but we are no ways debt free. I feel that if you wait until you are debt free the majority of us would never take a vacation.

 

[tinaluis]

We, too, plan for our retirement and, in fact, own our own home and automobiles. The point I was trying to make is that the plaque would have no less meaning on the wall of our home or an apartment. It's more important for me to be happy with my family than to have a larger house, new cars, fancy things, etc.

As far as saving for retirement goes, my Mom and Dad constantly worried about how they would handle retirement, tried to scrimp and save as much as possible, and, in my opinion, didn't really enjoy their lives. Guess what, my Dad passed away when he was 51 and my Mom passed away when she was 50. So much for saving for retirement, huh? I would much rather have had happy parents who might be a "burden" to me when they got older, than grumpy, unhappy parents. The way that I look at it, is that I'm sure I was plenty of a "burden" while they were raising me, so if I needed to help them out, it was my turn to return the favor. Too much emphasis in our American culture has been placed on this. That's why families are drifting further and further apart. Even if they were alive now relied on me for everything, I would much rather have the "burden" of taking care of them than of visiting their graves and trying to tell my DDs about them.

I don't throw caution to the wind and SPEND, SPEND, SPEND and not worry about what the future might hold, but I also don't put all that I have into a retirement account that I may never need and not enjoy the life I'm living NOW.

 

[jjjbennett]

I find lots of people go to the same location year after year. Around here in NJ its the beach. We did that last year and while it was nice I found that a week in Ocean City NJ in a modest beach front home plus entertainment cost as much as a week in disney. There are so many bargains to be had at Disney especially if you stay off site. I also found that I leave disney feeling like I had a vacation I left the beach exhausted I felt like I cleaned and cooked the whole week. So while I heard the same thing about "you're going to Disney again?" ( I personally think they are jealous) I retort to the one family well you go to the beach each summer and there is alot more to do in Orlando.

 

[nana2tots]

we get that responce all the time , especially from my nagging mother-in-law, as long as she can go everywhere w/ us, then she dosent say too much on our spending, i tell her i am 52 yrs.old, i work so BUG OFF W/ YOUR MOUTH LOL, she would really freak out if she knew how much we spent last year on a 7= day wdw trip!!!!!!!lol