How can I get a copy of my husband's cell phone bill?

[mommy*RN]

I've been thinking about you, and hoping that things were getting better for you. I'm sorry that this hasn't been the case.

My ex was 37 when we divorced. With him, I think it was new-found freedom that led to his cheating. His age may have had something to do with it. I'm not sure.

I had worked for him, and with him, for about ten years. I was always at the office and I knew where he was, and where he was going to be, all the time. I scheduled all the calls and received all the invoices. It was hard for him to be secretive.

Within the first few months of my quiting, I caught him in his first fling. The second one happened within the next two years. After we split, I had people telling me that they thought there had been others too.

To be truthful I don't think my DH immediately cut off all connection with her. He would still say things that had me wondering. One time he said something like, "We are going in different directions now." I was like, DUH..um okay. I was just bathing the kids that you HELPED CREATE! The comment sounded like something a woman would say IMHO. He no longer makes stupid comments like that. I can't seem to get him to commit to a reason WHY he wants to divorce me. He seems to spit out things I tell him in sadness. Like I've commented that sometimes I'm not a good wife...and once I showed him a journal entry from when we were dating that talked about how much I loved him and wanted to care for him and grow old with him. A few days later when I questioned him WHY divorce he said, "Well, you don't take care of me. I'm self sufficient. I have to buy my own toothpaste and stuff." I came up fighting on that one. I have bought the man more sticks of deodorant than I can count on both my hands and feet. When he is working a 24 and the kids and I are going to Walmart or Target I often call him and ask if he needs anything. I'm sorry we don't use the same toothpaste...so I don't know when he is low. UGH! We say a lot of things to one another in anger so I think if he KNEW why he wanted a divorce he would tell me then...but nooooooo...NOTHING. It's all so darn confusing! I know he is confused too, but I think he is also VERY depressed and unwilling to own up to it and admit he has a problem and get help.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers...I'm not giving up easily here...

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I know he is confused too, but I think he is also VERY depressed and unwilling to own up to it and admit he has a problem and get help.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers...I'm not giving up easily here...

I don't know a whole lot about it, but it does sound like he's going through some sort of mid-life crisis.

Our husbands do the same thing for a living. Has there been an extremely bad incident lately at work?

My husband had one not too long ago, where he was called out to the scene of a dirt bike accident (they have a race track in their territory, and are forever being called out to it), where a 35-40ish man had a really bad fall.

It didn't look like he was going to make it, and the man's 8 year old daughter was alone, watching him ride - and unfortunately, also saw him fall. She was very, very panicked and was begging my husband to tell her that her daddy was going to be okay.

That one call put my DH in such a funk and it was so hard for me to help him pull out of it. We got into a HUGE fight that night, before I knew that the call had even taken place. It was like he took the stress out on me.

Their jobs can be so incredibly stressful. You're a nurse and are used to the same type of stress. Is there a possibility that he bonded with someone who is knew to this life? I like to call them "hose bunnies".

 

[Maggimus]

I dont have any experience with the mid-life crisis thing but here's a bump so hopefully you can get some great feedback

 

[TexanInWonderland]

May I be a bit blunt in saying that if he hides the paper bill from you then that is all you really need to know. If he is being upfront then he should have absolutely no reason not to show it to you. Ask him to see it when it arrives, (aka, tell him plainly to please not intercept it) if he objects or refuses then what more is there to know. He will probably pull the "If you trust me then why do you need to see it" sort of BS, or something along the lines of "Wait, I thought we were moving past this, why cant you just trust me and let it go." or some variation of this.....blah, blah, blah.

At the end of the day if he is being honest, upfront and truly remorseful then he will understand your need for transparency as you move beyond his discretion.

 

[pryncess527]

May I be a bit blunt in saying that if he hides the paper bill from you then that is all you really need to know. If he is being upfront then he should have absolutely no reason not to show it to you. Ask him to see it when it arrives, (aka, tell him plainly to please not intercept it) if he objects or refuses then what more is there to know. He will probably pull the "If you trust me then why do you need to see it" sort of BS, or something along the lines of "Wait, I thought we were moving past this, why cant you just trust me and let it go." or some variation of this.....blah, blah, blah.

At the end of the day if he is being honest, upfront and truly remorseful then he will understand your need for transparency as you move beyond his discretion.

this thread is 8 years old. OP's divorce is probably long finalized by now and she's moved on with her life.

 

[lynxstch]

Just another in a long line of Zombie posts lately, and all from new members

 

[Missy1961]

At least this time the requests for updates didn't go on for pages.

I think we're seeing more of these because of the suggested threads listed at the bottom of the page. Most of them are very old. A newbie might not realize where the dates are.

 

[TexanInWonderland]

this thread is 8 years old. OP's divorce is probably long finalized by now and she's moved on with her life.

Ooops, didn't realize. I have been a member for less than 24 hours, and this popped up at the bottom of my page. Just clicked on it, read and replied. Whooops......new member learning curve!

 

[TexanInWonderland]

At least this time the requests for updates didn't go on for pages.

I think we're seeing more of these because of the suggested threads listed at the bottom of the page. Most of them are very old. A newbie might not realize where the dates are.

Exactly what happened!!! But hey, now I know...ha-ha!

 

[PrincessShmoo]

May I be a bit blunt in saying that if he hides the paper bill from you then that is all you really need to know. If he is being upfront then he should have absolutely no reason not to show it to you. Ask him to see it when it arrives, (aka, tell him plainly to please not intercept it) if he objects or refuses then what more is there to know. He will probably pull the "If you trust me then why do you need to see it" sort of BS, or something along the lines of "Wait, I thought we were moving past this, why cant you just trust me and let it go." or some variation of this.....blah, blah, blah.

At the end of the day if he is being honest, upfront and truly remorseful then he will understand your need for transparency as you move beyond his discretion.

Since this thread is 8 years old, I would hazard a guess that OP has solved the issue. Or, if not, has moved on at any rate.

 

[CPanther95]

Got 4 pages in before noticing it was a zombie thread. arrrrrrghhhh.

 

[NFLDERS]

I'm happily married with nothing to hide and neither does my husband, but we have seperate checking accounts, seperate savings accounts, and 1 joint account. It's not 1950 and I don't see what the problem is with keeping money seperate. My husband makes more money than me and has more of the bills in his name.

It's mostly a matter of convenience, not a lack of commitment.

I've 2 sons the eldest, and his wife mimic your way of doing things. My younger, and his wife follow the old fashioned way as we his parents do.

I'm afraid I too do not understand my eldest son's way. I do however understand both partners having some money secret for lack of a better word if there are ever personal safety issues (Abuse), and they need to separate until the problem is resolved (Divorce).

 

[Squirlz]

The date of the original post appears right under the thread title. Also, a multi-page thread suddenly popping up on page one is an indicator.

 

[minnie mum]

Dang those "suggested " threads. I have a feeling they're responsible for a lot of these zombie threads. Wonder who the braniac is who came up with that idea. Stop it.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

The date of the original post appears right under the thread title. Also, a multi-page thread suddenly popping up on page one is an indicator.

Yes, if you see the thread title in the main listings, you can see the original posting date. And, once the thread is opened, you can see the date. But the links in the "suggested" threads at the bottom of the page have no dates visible. Many people don't look back at the top of a thread once they've opened it to see how old it is. And seeing a "new" thread title piques their interest and they may go ahead and reply before realizing that they are replying to a post that's years old.

By then the damage is done, as subsequent readers just start replying.

 

[ilovepcot]

Reviving a zombie thread isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes they're relevant to "now" and people enjoy them.

 

[tvguy]

I guess the first clue should have been asking for a print out of numbers called. Do cell phone companies even do that anymore with most folks on some sort of unlimited calling plan.

 

[Tiffylv]

I guess the first clue should have been asking for a print out of numbers called. Do cell phone companies even do that anymore with most folks on some sort of unlimited calling plan.

I know you can request one. But now if you were having an affair you would go get a tracfone and pay with cash anyway haha.

 

[ronandannette]

Since this thread is 8 years old, I would hazard a guess that OP has solved the issue. Or, if not, has moved on at any rate.

Being as she hasn't posted anywhere on the DIS since 2011, I think we can safely assume so!

 

[linzjane88]

Ugh, I was five pages in before I noticed the date. Now I need the end of the story? He sounds like a turd and I hope he got what was coming to him. ZERO tolerance for cheaters.