How "bad" is pregnancy?

[mtemm]

I loved being pregnant for the most part. The hardest thing for me in the beginning was being tired...really exhausted. I had a few food aversions (poultry and scrambled eggs) and a few food cravings (red sauce and chocolate), but never really dealt with morning sickness. I did suffer from heartburn, which progressively got worse as the pregnancy went on, but meds helped.

During the last trimester you do feel a bit awkward...one of my pregnancies was twins so I was huge early then. And there is a point towards the end when your pevis hurts a bit. And then there is the baby kicking ribs and dancing on bladders. And there are complications...with both pregnacies I was on bedrest towards the end...the first from 34 weeks on, the second from 27 weeks or so on.

But honestly, overall I loved being pregnant. My skin and hair looked fabulous, you could have that extra slice of pizza and not worry about your waistline because, well, that was gone long ago. lol. maternity clothes are much cuter than they used to be and actually come in natural fibers now (love gap maternity and a handful of other stores). And there is nothing like that feeling that your baby is growing in you. It sounds weird to say, but for me it just felt right. Its a special time that may seem long at times, but honestly is just a blink of an eye.

As for labor and delivery, I was induced with my first but never made it very far before the dr. was cocerned about some things going on and I ended up with a c-section. I had a section with the twins since they were both breech. I was blessed because my sections weren't all that bad...the worst part for me was not feeling my feet until the spinal wore off. I hated that feeling. But I never needed meds stronger than motrin (first the stronger stuff, then the regular).

Breastfeeding can be difficult, but I'll be honest with my first it was a breeze. I had educated myself prior to having him and really knew what to expect and what to watch out for, and we had a very successful time. Again, to me it was a very special experience.

All pregnancies are different. I know people who breezed thru their pregancies and I know people who had complications from day one. I think the best thing you can do is to be prepared for the unexpected. You never know and can never predict how things go. I would say if you are thinking about trying, just try to be as healthy as possible. Add some folic acid supplements to your diet (800 mcg or so). And good luck!

 

[MrsPete]

I loved being pregnant. I looked and felt good 90% of the time. I had some nasty morning sickness, but it was limited to just a few hours a day. Toward the end I had trouble sleeping because I couldn't get comfortable. Only a few of the doctor's visits were unpleasant; at many of them, I didn't even have to undress.

I had good deliveries too; even if you aren't so lucky, delivery is a very short period of time and shouldn't really be a consideration in whether you want the child for the rest of your life.

It's a very individual question. I know people who have had difficult pregnancies followed by easy deliveries. I know people who've had one horrible pregnancy, then a super-easy one. I know people who've had easy pregnancies followed by awful deliveries. The real question is whether you want the child.

Having said that, you can hedge your bets by taking good care of yourself before, during, and after. If you start out at a good weight for you, eat right during pregnancy, and do all the things you're supposed to do, the weight will come off easily -- it's nothing like regular weight gain.

 

[kimmikayb]

I loved being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, there were unpleasant/painful times. Yes, you do gain weight but for me...the baby was a great weight loss plan. After each of my babies I would always weigh less after the birth then before I got pregnant and it lasted through breast feeding. There are ways to help morning sickness (or in my case, night sickness) and you are pampered. You do tire easier, but that's more of an excuse to take a nap! You swell up, but then you can put your feet up! And I'm telling you, nothing is better then feeling that little life moving around in you. The downside I can remember is the worry I had over the baby. Was he/she alright. With each of my pregnancies there were always concerns and that was the hardest part. The birth part is different for each person and yes, there are aspects that are gross and painful but you honestly forget that quickly.

Having said all that, it doesn't end with the pregnancy. Or even infancy. Breast feeding is not something to worry about. You either do it or not. My DH and I had a special name for the breast feeding consultants. I had a really bad experience with a gal with my first baby and after that, I kindly sent them away. I breast fed my last until he was 9 months old and I was glad to be done. But bottles are fine too! It's your preference. There is always something and your life is never your own again...but the rewards! Oh I could go on and on!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I had 2 horrible pregnancies (bedrest, drugs, preterm labor, one killed my gallbladder, hopitalizations, and scary specialist, ...etc) both kids were premies, one was very, very sick for 4 months and needed open heart surgery. The other breastfed and I could NOT leave home. I went insane.

Now my dd's are 9 & 14. The pregnancy was the easy part. Seriously, it is a distant memory.

 

[mom2riceboys]

If pregnancy was that "bad", everyone would only have one child! I didn't have morning sickness with either of my pregnancies, but the smell of popcorn would always make me sick. I gained 20 pounds with first one and 40 pounds with second baby. Not a lot of fun gaining that much weight, but that's part of it. I know some women say that they loved being pregnant. I didn't, but it wasn't unbearable either. I wanted children so I was willing to put up with everything pregnancy and labor brings. I breastfed my 2nd baby. I did it because it was good for him and convenient! Making bottles at 2 AM is no fun!

If your vanity is causing some reservations about becoming pregnant, then maybe children are not for you. You are not at your most attractive time when you have spit up all over you and your eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep! I always tell my little boys, "Momma used to be hot!"

Motherhood is one of the most rewarding and challenging things you will ever experience. One cannot explain the joy that your children can bring. I thought I was happy before I had children, but after having them, I have realized what true happiness is. Good luck!

 

[Chicago526]

Wow, this took off fast! Thanks for everyone that has responded so far.

A few mentioned that if I didn't like the idea of being pregnant, then parenthood might not be for me, well let me say this. I have thought long and hard about this, and I know that there are parts of being a parent that aren't fun (2 am feedings, haz-mat clean up detail, hours in doc's offices waiting for check-ups, and a million other things) but I'm willing and able to face that. I'm just looking for a better idea of what to expect when pregnant, and as I put in my orriginal post, every woman is differant. But it's not the symptoms so much I'm looking for, is how everyone coped with the situation.

Thanks again for all the feedback! :

 

[BethR]

All I can tell you is my experiences.

I loved being pregnant. Only recently, in my mid-40's, am I getting over the fact that I will never be pregnant again.

But there were exhausting days (from whatever happens in that first trimester) to the uncomfortable days (from getting so big). But I don't know that I was ever miserable.

Weight gain. Well you want to do what's right for your baby and gain the recommended amount of weight. But whether or not you get rid of it after the baby comes will depend on how disciplined you are. And if you do nurse your baby, an added plus is that it is easier to lose that "baby weight" when you are making milk to feed your baby.

Regarding nursing your baby. The choice that you make is entirely up to you. Your child will be healthy no matter what choice you make. I did nurse my 4 DDs, but especially in the first months with my oldest, it was not easy. But I was committed. It was something that was important to me (unlike losing the weight ) and so I stuck to through the difficulties. And things got better with each passing month.

I had never been in a hospital before I had my DDs (and never since, thank God!) and since I had CS's with all of them, I was there longer than the one or two nights that you are there with a ******l birth. But personally, I enjoyed my time in the hospital after having my DDs. They treated me very well and made me feel very special.

Good luck with this. No matter what you decide and how everything goes for you, the best thing is that in the end, God willing, you will have a beautiful, healthy baby that will mean more to you than you could ever imagine.

 

[EthansMom]

Not too bad, all things considered.

I didn't have any morning sickness, but did have heartburn early in both pregnancies -- so, I'd pop a couple of Tums when that was bothering me.

With DS, I had a lot of back pain during my pregnancy and then had back labor. It wasn't so bad that I didn't survive. I also was very tired during months 4 and 5.

With DD, I had an irritated uterus and was having premature labor as a result. I had to cut down on my activity level, but still did fine.

If you're worried about putting on weight, then make sure you have plenty of healthy snacks on hand while you're pregnant and try to keep a moderate exercise program like walking (good for you and your baby). You need to put on weight for your baby, but it doesn't have to be an outrageous amount.

Be sure to start taking prenatal vitamins a month or so before you start trying to get pregnant.

Personally, I would say that the discomfort and changes due to pregnancy were nothing compared to the change in lifestyle after a child is born. I had my first child when I was 28, a professional, and very independent. I decided to be a SAHM after my DS was born. I had no idea how much every decision would have to revolve around my children. For instance, if I want to run an errand, I have to worry about if the timing conflicts with naptime or if my kids are behaving well enough to go in a store. If I want to go on a vacation, I have to think about whether the destination is "kid friendly" (WDW is, but a walking tour of D.C. would not work well for young children) and I have to worry about whether the vacation would offer me a break also (if we stayed for a week in a cabin on a lake, I would still have to take care of the kids, cook, clean, etc. but if we go on a cruise with childcare facilities, I don't have to cook, clean and can have some time to myself).

For me, the most difficult part of being a mom has been the constant neediness of children. You can't put off the need to change a dirty diaper. When your child is sick, one of you will lose a lot of sleep taking care of his/her needs at night. When your child is hungry, you have to feed him/her now.

This isn't to say that having children isn't comletely worth it. Because I love my kids with every fiber of my being. But life with kids is nothing like life without kids.

Good Luck!

 

[Maleficent13]

I wasn't going to respond, but now I'm a bit perturbed.

To the OP: it could have been me, writing that post. I felt exactly the same way. I remember once calling my mom in a panic (years before I even considered kids!) because I read somewhere that your feet grew when you were pregnant and I didn't want my shoe size to change. I feared gaining weight, being uncomfortable, being in pain, everything you mentioned.

I don't know if you remember this, but about a year ago or so, I started a thread about how I wasn't sure I wanted DH in the room with me when I delivered. I was called selfish and horrible for it. Apparently, I should have been perfectly fine with the thought of him watching me be unable to control my bowels and letting him see me in pain and ugliness.

My thought is this: your feelings are valid, and they DO NOT mean you are going to be a bad parent or that you should reconsider kids.

To answer your OP: I found that, despite my concerns, being PG wasn't that bad. Really. And I was back to my original weight within 3 months of delivering. My shoe size didn't change (LOL). Labor was fine...really. I highly recommend the epidural. And I did let DH in, and it was fine (although to this day I still squirm when I think about some of the stuff he saw). Still, I'd do it again, and plan to someday.

 

[auntpolly]

Just remember, trying to outdo each other with pregnancy horror stories can at times be women's version of a pissing contest.

Like this:

I threw up every morning!

You threw up every morning? I can top that, I threw up after every meal!

You ate meals? I could only eat soda crackers and ginger ale the whole 9 months!

Kind of like a badge of honor! I don't know, one thing that's really true is that your focus gets a little self centered, I think for everyone and that's just nature taking care of the baby, so everything seems so intense and earth shattering!

 

[minkydog]

How bad is pregnancy? Not as bad as leukemia. Not as bad as a shark attack. Not as bad as a head-on collision.

I've been pregnant 4 times. There was morning sickness, which was pretty bad, but it only lasted a few months and then I was cured I didn't gain much weight--you couldn't even tell I was pregnant from behind. I have ZERO stretch marks(good genes ). and there were no medical problems. the only "bad" thing was long labor but I got over it. Now I have three great kids, all breastfed because I'm basically too lazy to fix bottles.

Pregnancy isn't the worst thing I've ever done

 

[skuttle]

I actually loved being pregnant with DS. I was never sick, so that probably helped a lot! The one thing I didn't realize was how tired I would be. The fatigue in the 1st trimester was AWFUL! Luckily it went away after 12 weeks (even went to WDW at 18/19 weeks). I was actually in my last semester of law school while pregnant.

I never liked doctors or needles...but I was surprised at how I just took everything in stride while pregnant. Even when my water broke 4 weeks early...I was the calmest person in my family. I guess I knew everything had to be done in order to have a healthy child, so I just went with it. I was put on bedrest around 32weeks due to high blood pressure...that put a damper on things as I couldn't take the bar exam. But, things worked out, even though i started my career a little later than others that I graduated with.

I gained a lot of weight with DS. I was sad about that since i had just lost 20 pounds right before I got pregnant...so that made the weight gain even worse! I didn't breast feed...I tried but it didn't work out.

Our DS will be 3 in July and I'm ready for another baby. I've been ready for a while actually, but I'm listening to my DH and waiting to get a house before the next kid arrives (hopefully we get a house this summer!). DS is just so much fun right now!

 

[horseshowmom]

While I was pregnant, I was extremely sick constantly (actually threw up on the delivery table and then once again several hours after DD was born).

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! DD is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to us, and being pregnant was nothing compared to the gift she's been to us.

(I was almost 28 when I delivered, not much younger than you'll be.)

 

[va32h]

I have thought long and hard about this, and I know that there are parts of being a parent that aren't fun (2 am feedings, haz-mat clean up detail, hours in doc's offices waiting for check-ups, and a million other things) but I'm willing and able to face that. I'm just looking for a better idea of what to expect when pregnant, and as I put in my orriginal post, every woman is differant. But it's not the symptoms so much I'm looking for, is how everyone coped with the situation.

Just look at pregnancy as one of those parts of being a parent that might not be fun.

IMO, this is not a situation that has to be coped with. It simply is

If you want to have a baby and do not wish to adopt, then you will just have to endure a pregnancy, and whatever that entails.

It might be wonderful, it might be horrible. You won't know until you actually get pregnant. Dreading it isn't going to help, but a positive outlook isn't going to hurt.

 

[In a hurry]

I just have to add, that after an average pregnancy and birth...I had the absolute best day of my life the day my first son was born. Him, in particular, because I had only me, my husband and him. No babysitters, etc.

Chicken was evil...

And to not be concerned about such a huge life choice would be silly.

eta: Sure you can put a negative focus on it...but I've known many with tremendously optimistic ideals to be slammed down to. It isn't all about your views!!!

 

[Emmaline Lola]

I have a beautiful 15 month old dd who I love more than anything in this world! I would not change one thing about how she came into my life. Pregnancy has it's goods and bads, but you have to keep your mind on the end result--a child to love for the rest of your life. Being a parent is one of the most challenging things I have ever done in my life, but it is also the best thing I have ever done!!

Having said that, we are adopting our 2nd child from China. Adoption also has it's ups and downs and different anxieties and excitement. But when I get down about how long the process will take until I meet my next child, I just have to think about how happy I will be when I meet my new child!!

If you want the real nitty gritty of what could happen (the WORSE case) of pregnancy--read Jenny McCarthy's book Belly Laughs. It shocked me a bit, but I was already pregnant when I did read it, so I was SOL at that point!!

Best of luck to you as you add a new family member!

el

 

[Maleficent13]

IMO, this is not a situation that has to be coped with. It simply is

I honestly do not understand this statement. There are many aspects of pregnancy that must be coped with...weight gain, nutrition, morning sickness, vitamins, new clothes...I could go on. Yes, they are things that can't be helped, but must certainly be coped with...

 

[Chicago526]

This part troubles me a little. Are you being facetious, or are these things really a concern for you? Because a baby has to go to the doctor several times in his first year of life, and at least every year after that, for well-baby checkups, immunizations, etc.

I don't like going when I'm the patient. I've got no problems taking others for check-ups!

And babies can make you uncomfortable. They can poop on you, and throw up on you, and fall asleep on your body in all sorts of awkward positions, and wake you up several times a night, for many nights, forever, really!

Yeah, my dogs (past and present) have done all of these things (including waking me up at all hours of the night, due to everything from being sick to a scarey thunderstorm!). Not quite the same, but between them and babysitting for several infants over the years, I've had my share of disgusting messes to clean up.

You will gain weight when you are pregnant, and you may be too busy to exercise after the baby is born.

While it's at the bottom of my list of concerns, it is a bit of a worry (as vain as it sounds!). Only time will tell on that one!

You will have to change your life, drastically and permanently, to accommodate the needs of this baby. So if it isn't something you are absolutely sure you want to do, please don't do it.

No question there! I've thought long and hard and I'm aware of how big of a life change this is, and I'm prepared for it (well, as much as anyone can be, anyway).

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Loved being PG with DD. Didn't enjoy it so much with DS.

If you don't like hospitals consider a Midwife who has her own freestanding clinic. But then you would have to do it w/o the drugs.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

While it's at the bottom of my list of concerns, it is a bit of a worry (as vain as it sounds!). Only time will tell on that one!

I have found the tome and energy to start exercising at home 3 times a week since January. I have lost 6 lbs since then and only have 3 or so to go. You might not find the time right away, but it gets easier as the baby gets oldre. JMHO.

Also, BFing can help you to lose weight. I gained 40 with both kids and lost all, but 5 with DD and didn't exercise at all then. I only have the little bit to lose since DS.