Houston etiquette questions update post 53

[littleteapot]

And yes, Humble is Umble.

Humble is "Umble" because Pleasant Smith Humble, the town's namesake, didn't pronounce the H.


I've been here 22 years and my DH is a 5th generation Houstonian. DH and his relatives all pronounce Houston, "Hyou-ston".

 

[missypie]

I would stay away from religion and politics. Some Texans are QUITE conservative.

And if someone appends the phrase "bless your heart" to a statement about you, you've just been dissed.

 

[legalsea]

I am going to Texas in a few weeks for a family reunion type thing. I have never met any of these people. It should be really interesting! However, I know nothing about Texas and its cultures. All I know is that California and Texas are quite different in regards to people. (or so I've been told)

So, here come my silly (and probably obvious) questions

• What is the weather like mid-March?
• Will I have to wear a dress at all times?
• Is it rude if I do not take off a hat inside? (I have illness related hair loss).
• Anything else I should know?

Pretty much all of these people are from Texas. Several of them are very religious as well. I do know enough to stay away from conversations about religion and politics.

I am a very shy individual with poor (read no) social skills about to enter a very big social event. Any help is greatly appreciated!

I once drove through Houston on my way to Galveston, so I believe I am fully qualified to answer your question.

1. Houston had generally fine weather, save for those times when it is humid, which is 98 percent of the time.

2. Yes. Your dress should be based on the Dale Evans line.

3. The only time a lady takes off her hat inside is when she is 'hooting and hollaring', at which time you take your hat in your left hand, wave your hat about your head in a circular fashion three times (not more, not less) while emitting your hoots and hollars (literally "Hoot" then yell "Hollar", three times each). Then replace your hat on your head (not on someone elses head) exactly as you had it on before (same angle, etc)

4. Yes. People will ask you about how your oil wells are doing. Since you are from California, you probably do not have any (pity). Anyway, if you wish to impress the person asking the question simply reply "I no longer have oil wells. I currently own 25 percent of the water rights for San Antonio". One friend of mine tried to answer the question by claiming he owned 'windmills', which caused a very pregnant pause in the group, after which we went back to discussing how many High School football ringers we knew.

 

[Arielle22]

I would stay away from religion and politics. Some Texans are QUITE conservative.

And if someone appends the phrase "bless your heart" to a statement about you, you've just been dissed.

I am in MA but my company is in 9 states including TX. I have had employees add "bless your heart" to statements. My boss and I laugh because we know it isn't a compliment.

To the PP who said you may be hugged, I had a new manager come up for training. She hugged me and I just froze. Here in MA there is no touching people you don't know. Heck, when my BIL's mom died last week I asked before giving him a hug and I have known him over 10 years!

The same mgr asked me while she was here why no one responded when she said hello while walking. I told her "cause they think you are crazy". I don't if it was her or a Houston/TX thing but it amused me.

 

[Myothername]

About the "bless your heart" thing, I am from the south and we say this all the time. I have never considered it anything but feeling sorry for someone. As in "Her house burned down last week. Bless her heart." or "Did you see Minnie bust her rear in those heels at church yesterday? Fell right down the steps in front of God and everybody. Bless her heart." or "She has got a bad cold. Bless her heart."

 

[missypie]

On the Southern insult:

Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or 'Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six-lane highway." Or, "Bless her heart, she's so bucktoothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence."

There are also the sneakier ones that I remember from tongue-clucking types of my childhood: "You know, it's amazing that even though she had that baby seven months after they got married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds!"

From the Urban Dictionary:

This is a term used by the people of the southern United States particularly near the Gulf of Mexico to express to someone that they are an idiot without saying such harsh words.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

A dress at all times??? I've lived in Texas all my life and I don't even own a dress!

I only own one, a cocktail dress and I lived in Houston most of my adult life!

OP, just relax and be yourself. It's rare to see much formality in Houston.

Sorry! lol It’s just, when I think of the South, I think of a certain friend of mine who is very conservative, very nice, and always wears a dress. I’ve been told that a dress is more “lady like” and pants are “immodest,” by people who are from the south. I guess I sort of generalized there. That’s why I asked.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I have to disagree about the way Houston is pronounced... You hear the H when it is said.

I've been in and right outside of Hyou-ston since 1980. I always pronounce the H.

I am sixth generation Texan, living in Hyou-ston

In regards to the Houston pronunciation, I think I’ll keep me mouth shut until after I hear a native speak. Then I’ll know which group I am with, the “H”ers or the “no H”ers

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

BTW......Southern Baptists.....not big drinkers....if they're following the rules. Don't bring wine as a gift until you see someone else do it first and get a positive reaction.

Good to know. I should fit right in then, as I don’t drink I think this will be the first time where my not drinking will be seen as a good thing

If they know you have a medical condition that causes hair loss, you could wear the most hideous, enormous hat in the world and no one would say a word. That would be rude.

I have never met them before (to my knowledge), so I doubt they know about my medical condition. I can hide the hair loss pretty well with my hat. So, I like to wear a hat at all times

Check the weather report right before you go. It could be very cold if they get a cold snap or it could be in the 80s. You never know. But it will be humid.

Have fun!

Oh goody. Heat and I do not mix well. lol But I'm sure I'll have fun! Thank you!

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Please, please, PLEASE tell me you are not serious?!?!

I can't even read the rest of the posts after the 1st one. You are going from California to Texas. From one state to another.

You are not going to another country. You should not be so concerned about this.

It's Houston, not Paris or Rome or Moscow!

Sorry, don't mean to sound harsh but you need to relax a bit about this. I'm from Pittsburgh and my sister-in-law is from Houston. I wouldn't even think twice about what the "cultures" are.

I agree, I tend to be a worry-wart. However, I am sorry to have offended you, but I beg to differ. The US is made up of many different values and traditions. There are different ones wherever one might travel. In my area, Texas tends to be talked about as a completely different planet! I come from a semi-liberal family. One made up of many non-religious scientists. I do not want to be seen as an “ugly American” or more specifically “an ugly Californian.” I hate insulting people and I hate standing out like a sore thumb, so when I know that I will be going into an area and actually have to socialize with Natives (of the area) who will not just vanish from my life after I leave, I like to prepare.
I look at this as research for my trip. Besides, I like learning about different cultures.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

K. B., just be yourself and have fun. Shucks, people in Texas have seen lots of Californians on tv and know that they tend to act strange. Most Texans I know are pretty broad-minded about this.

Yeah well, I act weird to California standards to lol. But I’ll try to relax. All of these comments are making me feel better.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

A lady NEVER has to remove her hat indoors. (Gentlemen are of course, different...)
Weather in March can be gorgeous, or it can be nippy - come prepared. !

good to know. Thank you

Let us know how the trip goes! You have me curious!

Most importantly - have a great time!

Thank you.

I wouldn't worry too much about cultural differences - just be prepared for the fact that many Texans think (know?) they live in the greatest place ever - respect their right to that opinion, and you will be fine. !

The only thing I can add after living in Texas for 10 years is tell the native Texans that Texas is the most wonderful country in the world and they will love you forever.

Is the saying “everything’s bigger and better in texas” still used? I remember that from the movie North. lol
I'll keep it in mind

 

[LuvN~Travel]

Unless you are going to be staying or visiting one of the smaller towns around Houston, just remember that most of the major cities in the south aren't too much different in daily stuff than the north.

And, as a Southern Baptist I can tell you even dressing for church these days can be more relaxed. For the funeral just a nice dress or slacks can be the norm. Take both in case and don't worry.

As someone else said, too if you just wear a nice and comfortable hat for you most will not probably say anything. And, if they do just let them know the truth. You may have a new set of very good friends that way! lol
We middle aged ladies especially know about that hair loss of some sort anyway. lol You just don't find many of us down south anymore wearing hats due to hat hair and the humidity! rofl

Of course do be prepared for lots of casseroles, fried foods, etc. Sure we have the same fast food places and ethnics restaurants, but the good 'ole Southern cooking you find at a gathering after a funeral will be the 'good stuff'. lol!

Enjoy your trip!
Kim

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I once drove through Houston on my way to Galveston, so I believe I am fully qualified to answer your question.

1. Houston had generally fine weather, save for those times when it is humid, which is 98 percent of the time.

2. Yes. Your dress should be based on the Dale Evans line.

3. The only time a lady takes off her hat inside is when she is 'hooting and hollaring', at which time you take your hat in your left hand, wave your hat about your head in a circular fashion three times (not more, not less) while emitting your hoots and hollars (literally "Hoot" then yell "Hollar", three times each). Then replace your hat on your head (not on someone elses head) exactly as you had it on before (same angle, etc)

4. Yes. People will ask you about how your oil wells are doing. Since you are from California, you probably do not have any (pity). Anyway, if you wish to impress the person asking the question simply reply "I no longer have oil wells. I currently own 25 percent of the water rights for San Antonio". One friend of mine tried to answer the question by claiming he owned 'windmills', which caused a very pregnant pause in the group, after which we went back to discussing how many High School football ringers we knew.

[*]What is the weather like mid-March?

It's usually warm. Sometimes we have a cold front come through. Just bring a light jacket in case.

[*]Will I have to wear a dress at all times?
Women in Texas do not wear dresses all the time. Heck I rarely ever wear one. However depending on your friends religion some do wear dresses all the time.

[*]Is it rude if I do not take off a hat inside? (I have illness related hair loss).
Men are supposed to take their hats off inside, not ladies.


[*]Anything else I should know?

Nope. We are just like regular people everywhere else.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

And if someone appends the phrase "bless your heart" to a statement about you, you've just been dissed.

I have had employees add "bless your heart" to statements. My boss and I laugh because we know it isn't a compliment.

About the "bless your heart" thing, I am from the south and we say this all the time. I have never considered it anything but feeling sorry for someone.

On the Southern insult:

Good to know. This gives a very different meaning to many things some of my grandma’s friends (in Florida) said to me when I was younger.
Bless my heart indeed! lol

 

[KristaTX]

I say the "H" in Houston, too . And most of the people I know do.

I think you''ll find that Texans aren't that different from other Americans. And if your family dresses unusually or has some odd behaviors (religious or otherwise), that doesn't mean everyone else in Texas is like that. There are "different" people in California, but when I go there it doesn't even cross my mind that most of the people I encounter may be pot-smoking rich but homeless people who drive convertibles, pass out flowers at the airport, hang out with movie stars, and wear sunglasses and bikinis 24/7.

I think you must be young and haven't traveled much. Just kick back, have fun, and enjoy your trip .

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I’m afraid I hijacked my own thread! I almost missed your response!

Unless you are going to be staying or visiting one of the smaller towns around Houston, just remember that most of the major cities in the south aren't too much different in daily stuff than the north.

And, as a Southern Baptist I can tell you even dressing for church these days can be more relaxed. For the funeral just a nice dress or slacks can be the norm. Take both in case and don't worry.

As someone else said, too if you just wear a nice and comfortable hat for you most will not probably say anything. And, if they do just let them know the truth. You may have a new set of very good friends that way! lol
We middle aged ladies especially know about that hair loss of some sort anyway. lol You just don't find many of us down south anymore wearing hats due to hat hair and the humidity! rofl

Of course do be prepared for lots of casseroles, fried foods, etc. Sure we have the same fast food places and ethnics restaurants, but the good 'ole Southern cooking you find at a gathering after a funeral will be the 'good stuff'. lol!

Enjoy your trip!
Kim

Thank you for your comments. Luckily, I’m not going for a funeral. My great uncle is turning 90 and in poor health, so we’re going over there to say hi! (and in my case, meet him and other relatives)

I admit food is one thing I am worried about. I have food allergies to soy and corn (those are my worst ones) and I am worried about offending people. (I can’t have most processed foods, fried foods, and casseroles etc)



Is there a polite way to decline food?

 

[AshleyW]

I’m afraid I hijacked my own thread! I almost missed your response!



Thank you for your comments. Luckily, I’m not going for a funeral. My great uncle is turning 90 and in poor health, so we’re going over there to say hi! (and in my case, meet him and other relatives)

I admit food is one thing I am worried about. I have food allergies to soy and corn (those are my worst ones) and I am worried about offending people. (I can’t have most processed foods, fried foods, and casseroles etc)



Is there a polite way to decline food?

I've had to do this with DF's family in Mississippi a few times because of some allergies I have. I always give them a compliment first. Like, "Wow that looks delicious, but I'm actually allergic to [whatever food you're allergic to]". It seems to go over a little better that way.

 

[carj]

I agree, I tend to be a worry-wart. However, I am sorry to have offended you, but I beg to differ. The US is made up of many different values and traditions. There are different ones wherever one might travel. In my area, Texas tends to be talked about as a completely different planet! I come from a semi-liberal family. One made up of many non-religious scientists. I do not want to be seen as an “ugly American” or more specifically “an ugly Californian.” I hate insulting people and I hate standing out like a sore thumb, so when I know that I will be going into an area and actually have to socialize with Natives (of the area) who will not just vanish from my life after I leave, I like to prepare.
I look at this as research for my trip. Besides, I like learning about different cultures.

I hope that you have a nice trip and that you are able to relax a bit after reading some of the advice here.

I have no idea why you would need to wear a dress. How on earth would you ride your horse to the saloon?

I do agree that most adult women that I know wear makeup for work and social events, but I had no idea that was a Texas thing. I don't think that anyone will care if you are wearing makeup or not though.

As for the hat, I wouldn't suggest fleece because of the heat and humidity. Regardless, ladies don't remove their hats indoors. Again, I don't think that is a Texas thing.

Regarding politics and religion. I personally don't enjoy those topics at social events, even if I happen to agree with someone's views. I wouldn't think that you would need to worry about discussing either. I seriously doubt someone is going to try to bait you into saying something that would make you appear rude. Why would your relatives do that?

Texas is a large, diverse state and Houston is the 4th largest city in the country. It really isn't like it is a foreign country. Go and have fun, try not not pre-judge the "natives". We are actually quite friendly!

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I say the "H" in Houston, too . And most of the people I know do.

As I said earlier, I think I'll just stay quiet until I know which group I am with, the Uston group or the Houston group!

I think you''ll find that Texans aren't that different from other Americans. And if your family dresses unusually or has some odd behaviors (religious or otherwise), that doesn't mean everyone else in Texas is like that. There are "different" people in California, but when I go there it doesn't even cross my mind that most of the people I encounter may be pot-smoking rich but homeless people who drive convertibles, pass out flowers at the airport, hang out with movie stars, and wear sunglasses and bikinis 24/7.

Good point

but...

You mean, we aren't all "pot-smoking, rich, homeless people, who drive around in convertibles, pass out flowers at the airport, hang out with movie stars, wear sunglasses and bikinis"? Really? wow. hmm. I have some things to think about...

I think you must be young and haven't traveled much. Just kick back, have fun, and enjoy your trip .

I have traveled a little bit, but before it was to just travel. It wasn't to actually socialize with people who might not forget me and whom I will probably meet again. With strangers, I can usually pretend I never met them or that they won't remember me in a few days. With family, it's a little bit harder, unless you're a teenager of course!