Horrible Roommates

[Mickey527]

I used to work at a college and here is what some of the students used to do.
when they came home and found the door unlocked and opened they dialed 911. this brought the city police onto campus. Security didn't like that, they suggest anytime there is a problem that they be called but they never would do anything to the student who kept leaving the doors open.
Once the police come onto campus a report has to be filed and security and others will make sure the person leaving the door open has been disciplined.
Kind of tough, but might be something you have to do.
If you don't like this suggestion, maybe check the door and if it is left open call security and tell them you want them to come and check the rooms before you enter to make sure it is safe. Maybe after a few of these they will do something about the girl leaving the room open.
Either way, you have to do something, you never know who could be in the room if it is left open, be careful.

 

[FredinFL]

I had a really pita of a room mate in college. I was living with a mommabee. Leave a dish in the sink and forget about it, melt down. She was constantly rearranging things. High strung that one. Needed her own room, was definitely not meant to live with strangers.

She was also a complete drama lama. Something tragic was ALWAYS happening. I thanked my lucky stars when she was picked to go to a different country as part of a student exchange program. I really lucked out. The rest of the year was great as my other roomie and I got along fine.

I hope things work out for you, it really, really stinks when your roomate is a jerk. I wish I could help, but it's luck of the draw with student exchange programs.

 

[Callie]

I might try the 911 thing.
She just texted me saying she has no clue what I am talking about, and that she isn't doing it because she found her key. Funny I find the door unlocked right after she leaves this morning, and again after she left tonight!

Edit: Now she says good look proving its her, why would she do it when she found her key etc. Well, obv I'm not going to call and complain at all hours about the door if it wasn't really unlocked, and if I was the one doing it!

 

[Disney Doll]

I like the idea of calling campus security every time the door is unlocked. If you can produce your key and your roommate can produce her key, then someone somehow is getting into your oom and unlocking that door. I would make sure campus security asks you both to PRODUCE your keys.

Realistically, it's time to scorch the earth, my dear. Lock every door every time you leave. Try and buzz back between times so if the door has been left open, it's another call to campus security. Maybe give the local PD a call and ask them for advice on how to handle this situation...I'm guessing Campus Security isn't going to be too happy if the local PD comes sniffing around. Call the RA, call the deans, have your parents call the school, have an attorney write a letter to the school. The fact is that this girl is putting you in danger. You need to have documentation everywhere you can.

 

[Callie]

My worst fear has always been someone breaking in. I am just LIVID that she is trying to claim she isn't doing this. No one else has been in our room (nothing has gone missing, I know the first thing they would've taken is the Wii, Its locked up safely now) and it always happens right after she leaves.

I just want to cry right now, along with beating her up. This girl has called me every name in the book, and I know none of it is true, but it sucks. The worst was being called a slob, when I sweep 3 times a week, clean my dishes daily, etc. She would go a week without doing hers!

 

[kellyg403]

I got stuck with the absolute worst roommate at school ever. I can't even begin where to start, but I am just boiling now with what she has pulled.
We need swipe keys (like hotel keys) to get into our building, and then our apartment. Well she has misplaced this key twice in the past 2 weeks. She cannot find it again, and instead of getting a replacement (its like 10 or 20 bucks), she has been leaving the sliding glass door unlocked!

We live on the ground floor, how stupid can she be? She also stole the wood security beam and stashed it in her room. I've reported it to the housing president but now just again, I came home to it open.

Just adding it to the list of a person
*Who has never cleaned the apartment
*Doesn't use soap on her dishes
*Doesnt use silverware, except a giant wood spoon to eat
*Has a crazy bf

and it goes on.

I would take the suggestion to call 911 everytime she leaves it unlocked. That way, she is held accountable. She may think at this point you are just talking and not planning 'action'. This would be the best action in her particular case, since it leaves her open to A) being held accountable and B) Lets her know that not just you thinks its a safety issue they do too.

It does sound like a bad mix for a roommate, but honestly, if you can't move and she isnt willing to, pick your battles. Try not to let stuff like her eating with a giant wooden spoon or not using soap on HER dishes bother you. Pick the stuff that directly affects you. Let the rest slide and keep a calendar and mark off every single day you have left.

Sounds like she is having a good time at your expense. I would take away her fun and as long as it didn't affect my safety or welfare I wouldn't even spend any energy on it. She likes getting your goat.

Kelly

 

[NHdisneylover]

Okay, my take on reading this is that you and your roommate are at a point where you are VERY antagonistic towards each other about pretty much everything (other than the door issue, which is VERY valid, you have listed a litany of petty complaints that ought to be able to be worked out if you and she were to have some respect for each other--and judging from your tone you have reached the point where neither of you has that respect).

The door being left open and/or unlocked is a serious safety issue. However, sending your roommate tests in which you threaten that your mom will sue her or you call your roommate stupid is not going to help resolve this and simply escalates the "war." If you quit acting like a 5 year old it is at least possible she will as well.
Try simply send texts which say "I just got home and the sliding door is unlocked. I am concerned for our safety and that of our belongings--can you please try to check t every time you go out and I will do the same? Send one EVERY time it happens. Then you have a record of how often it occurs and of how calmly and politely you have tried to deal with this person to show housing. They may possibly be blowing you off now because from their perspective you are both just trying to annoy the other--take the higher road and act more maturely and you may be better able to get help.

I think calling the police (non emergency number), or security if you come home to an open door is okay--but I think calling 911, especially when it is already documented that you know this is a pattern by your roommate, is abusing the system and could possibly backfire on you.

I do think you should check that the slider is closed and locked every single time you walk into your apartment, and again before leaving. it is a good habit to be in no matter who is your roommate (or even if you live alone).

Good luck.

 

[badblackpug]

It sucks, and you will probably have to ride it out until May. I second the suggestion that you make sure everything is locked when you leave, including the safety bar in the sliding door. I also think that you should call security when you come home and the doors are unlocked to have them "check" the room, particularly if your roommate says she didn't leave it unlocked.

There are 2 things which with I have to disagree. Do NOT call 911. Honestly, the police and 911 operators have many more important things to deal with than college dorm mate disputes. Call security, call the RA, call the head of housing. Frequently. Actually, every time it occurs. It's a little passive-aggressive, but maybe if something of hers went "missing" next time the door was left open.... "I don't know what you are talking about, I left at 10 and all the doors were locked, I came home at 2 and they were wide open, did you leave them open?" "No?" "OMG! someone must have broken in and robbed us!"

...and please, do NOT have your mother call. Nothing is more frowned upon in the higher learning sector than having mommy call and handle your problems, no matter what they are. Any credibility you will have with the roommate and the college will immediately disappear. While it does stink, it is better to suck it up and deal with it as an adult.

 

[Bunchkin]

I'm thinking it's time for a stake-out.
Leave,make sure the door is locked, and hang out some where near by to see how she leaves. Take some pics. OR... Take a video showing yourself locking the door and pulling on it to show it's locked, and then leaving and waiting for her to leave, and then go back and check the door again.

 

[MandM3]

I'd be more worried about somebody waiting in the room for me when I arrived home than anything being stolen. I would call security EVERY time I came home and it was unlocked, so they could go in first. I'm sure security will be happy to talk to your roommate about wasting their time ;-)

 

[Bunchkin]

...and please, do NOT have your mother call. Nothing is more frowned upon in the higher learning sector than having mommy call and handle your problems, no matter what they are. Any credibility you will have with the roommate and the college will immediately disappear. While it does stink, it is better to suck it up and deal with it as an adult.

Respectfully not agreeing with this. If mommy is paying the bill, she has every right to protect her investment. And I think the OP has been handling the situation like an adult, and nothing is more adult then the act of asking for help.

 

[doxdogy]

If you are using an electronic key to enter your builidng and room, check to see if it is tied to each of your names. Make the report to campus security and MAKE them pull the access report to your room. This will prove to them that she is using her key to enter the room. I am not sure if it will work when exiting the room.

 

[debster812]

OP--with all due respect, you need to stop texting your roommate, and have a genuine, face to face conversation. Maybe with an impartial 3rd party in attendance (RA or RD). As a previous poster said your relationship seems like it is VERY antagonistic right now, and the texting is not helping.

 

[mhsjax]

Okay, my take on reading this is that you and your roommate are at a point where you are VERY antagonistic towards each other about pretty much everything (other than the door issue, which is VERY valid, you have listed a litany of petty complaints that ought to be able to be worked out if you and she were to have some respect for each other--and judging from your tone you have reached the point where neither of you has that respect).

The door being left open and/or unlocked is a serious safety issue. However, sending your roommate tests in which you threaten that your mom will sue her or you call your roommate stupid is not going to help resolve this and simply escalates the "war." If you quit acting like a 5 year old it is at least possible she will as well.
Try simply send texts which say "I just got home and the sliding door is unlocked. I am concerned for our safety and that of our belongings--can you please try to check t every time you go out and I will do the same? Send one EVERY time it happens. Then you have a record of how often it occurs and of how calmly and politely you have tried to deal with this person to show housing. They may possibly be blowing you off now because from their perspective you are both just trying to annoy the other--take the higher road and act more maturely and you may be better able to get help.

I think calling the police (non emergency number), or security if you come home to an open door is okay--but I think calling 911, especially when it is already documented that you know this is a pattern by your roommate, is abusing the system and could possibly backfire on you.

I do think you should check that the slider is closed and locked every single time you walk into your apartment, and again before leaving. it is a good habit to be in no matter who is your roommate (or even if you live alone).

Good luck.

She said that she has locked the slider when she leaves and she comes home and it has been left open. So why that suggestion, when she is already dong it.

I think she needs to step it up a notch, I don't think she is acting like a 5 year old, apparently no one on campus is going to help. There are times when you have to get ugly, and this is one of them. And yep, if I came home repeatedly and found my door open, you bet I would call 911.

Sorry, but I am just still remembering all the murders at UF years ago. There are nut cases out there and this roommate should be kicked out of school if she is acting like this.

 

[sunnyday123]

Well, I sent her a text saying how its such a serious issue, and that if any of my things get stolen, or I get hurt in any way shape or form she can bet my mom and her lawyer will be taking her to court for the costs. She just laughed it off.
Note I came home to a wide open door after this even.

Please make sure this is handled now. She is seriously putting your safety at risk. I live in a college town, and I don't want to scare you but while the chances of something going very badly are slim, it can and does happen.

 

[Agri]

She said that she has locked the slider when she leaves and she comes home and it has been left open. So why that suggestion, when she is already dong it.

I think she needs to step it up a notch, I don't think she is acting like a 5 year old, apparently no one on campus is going to help. There are times when you have to get ugly, and this is one of them. And yep, if I came home repeatedly and found my door open, you bet I would call 911.

Sorry, but I am just still remembering all the murders at UF years ago. There are nut cases out there and this roommate should be kicked out of school if she is acting like this.

Sending texts threatening that her mommy is going to sue the roommate is acting childish.

Did I miss where the OP asked for a new roommate at any point? How often has she complained about the situation?

Most of what I'm reading here is a bunch of catty back and forth nonsense between two incompatible roommates. (Yes, leaving the door unlocked is a legitimate complaint. The fact that she just eats with a spoon is NOT a legitimate complaint.)

The *mature* way to have dealt with the entire situation would be to stop trading insults and threats and to just report every.single.time she leaves the door open. Not to say "Oh, my roommate is horrible" - you say "My roommate leaves the door open to get in and out of the room and I am afraid that something very bad will happen if she doesn't stop leaving the door open."

After telling someone a few times that you would prefer that they NOT leave your door open, allowing free access to your apartment, you don't keep trading insults with them. Instead, you complain to the RA, you complain to people in charge of housing, you call security, you complain to your advisor - and you keep at it until there is a resolution.

Again, sorry if I missed it, but I read the whole thread and saw that the OP talked to those people but mostly I saw that there was a lot of nasty texts being sent back and forth.

 

[mhsjax]

Sending texts threatening that her mommy is going to sue the roommate is acting childish.

Did I miss where the OP asked for a new roommate at any point? How often has she complained about the situation?

Most of what I'm reading here is a bunch of catty back and forth nonsense between two incompatible roommates. (Yes, leaving the door unlocked is a legitimate complaint. The fact that she just eats with a spoon is NOT a legitimate complaint.)

The *mature* way to have dealt with the entire situation would be to stop trading insults and threats and to just report every.single.time she leaves the door open. Not to say "Oh, my roommate is horrible" - you say "My roommate leaves the door open to get in and out of the room and I am afraid that something very bad will happen if she doesn't stop leaving the door open."

After telling someone a few times that you would prefer that they NOT leave your door open, allowing free access to your apartment, you don't keep trading insults with them. Instead, you complain to the RA, you complain to people in charge of housing, you call security, you complain to your advisor - and you keep at it until there is a resolution.

Again, sorry if I missed it, but I read the whole thread and saw that the OP talked to those people but mostly I saw that there was a lot of nasty texts being sent back and forth.

Yeah, there are nasty texts, but sometimes you just have to get a little nasty, especially if the people that are supposed to help you don't.

Now, would I do that? Probably not, buy her, look at the nastiness on the Dis boards. It is everywhere. She needs to step up the game and start complaining loudly. I would start getting the names of exactly who and when I talked to them. Someone needs to take care of this situation.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Since she has said she isn't doing it, I would feign concern that someone is getting in your room. I would text her back with thius concern and tell her, since it's not her, you are going to be contacting the police the next time it is happening since obviously someone is breaking in. See what happens and if she doesn't respond and you find it open - do it. You will have a written record that she said it isn't her so you need the police.

 

[FredinFL]

I think RadioFanatic has an excellent idea. Next time it happens, call the police and tell them someone has entered your locked room and you need them to check it out. If you make it uncomfortable for security AND your roomate, this should stop quickly. The police may even check to see if you and your roomie have your key, when she can't produce, ruh-roh.

 

[SingingMUA]

Since she has said she isn't doing it, I would feign concern that someone is getting in your room. I would text her back with thius concern and tell her, since it's not her, you are going to be contacting the police the next time it is happening since obviously someone is breaking in. See what happens and if she doesn't respond and you find it open - do it. You will have a written record that she said it isn't her so you need the police.

I like this idea.