Horrible neighbour

[Disney Frenhines]

Please excuse me for venting a little here. I'm a widow, my husband died in military service 23 years ago and I've been on my own since. I live quietly in my little house, but, over the past few months one of my neighbours (I know who, but, I have no solid proof) has been throwing his used cigarette butts in my back garden onto the paved area where my pots are.
This morning I had to pick up yet another one, it was still fresh and I could have easily burnt myself on it, then of course, it hit me, it will be sodden in saliva. I've been picking up spit soaked cigarette butts during a Covid-19 crisis. I do live in an area where it isn't a problem, one case in the last week, but, that is not the point.
I called the police for advice and they told me to talk to them, but, they will just deny it.
Anyway, this morning I lost it, it's my birthday tomorrow, I haven't spoken to another person in a week, so I ending up yelling in my back garden about how the person who is doing this is cowardly and a bully and disgusting and if they had a problem with me then come talk to me about it. Of course, they can't because then they would be admitting they are the dirty so and so's.
I've done nothing to them, I live quietly, no parties, bbq's, loud music etc. I don't know what their problem is. I've now set up a camcorder in my upstairs window and I intend to catch them in the act. I did let them know I'm doing this so hopefully they'll stop doing it, which is preferable.
But, what is wrong with people that in this time when we are encouraged to care about others, especially those on their own and older (I'm 57 tomorrow, so not old, but, getting there) I have someone being a total jerk to me for absolutely no reason. All I can think of that I have two small bird feeders, but, all I get are house sparrows, robins and a collared dove and not even that many of them to be a nuisance. I have a night vision trail camera to catch wildlife and all that comes in my garden are a couple ofcats, no vermin or anything like that. I really don't know.

I just needed to let it all out, so please forgive my little rant.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Throwing cigarette butts I I someone else’s yard is seriously rude, and you have every right to complain. I hope they heard you and stop.

 

[bookwormde]

Yes very rude, a wild guess is that whoever it is is "sneaking" a smoke and needs to hide the evidence and your garden is ideal.

 

[Disney Frenhines]

I set up the camera to film my garden and the shared fence, nothing more. I just got a letter put through my letterbox from him accusing me of breaching data protection and telling me how his kid walk around undressed in the garden his son is a teenager and I can't actually see into his garden, something he clearly doesn't know as he is up higher than me and they can see not only my garden, but, into my kitchen, so I'm the one with a lack of privacy. I went and told him that if he didn't throw fag ends into my garden then I wouldn't be doing a camcorder.Did he deny being the one throwing the butts in? No, he didn't. I invited him to check what I was actually recording, he refused, he would have had a surprise as to what I can actually see of his garden. I have a pot full of his fag ends to prove what he's doing. I'm hoping he'll do what I invited him to do, call the police to take a look as I set a camera up, but, it's not turned on, it's just a deterrent.
Meanwhile, I had a good cry and wishing I could be anywhere, but, here right now.

The ironic thing is that he broke the lockdown by having a party and I said nothing.

 

[Disney Frenhines]

Yes very rude, a wild guess is that whoever it is is "sneaking" a smoke and needs to hide the evidence and your garden is ideal.

Nope, he's an open smoker, he's just a moron.

 

[MonorailPrincess]

Talking to them is worth a try, sometimes people surprise you.

 

[mommasita]

Ugh, that is so wrong on his part, and disgusting. I see nothing wrong with you recording, it’s like having ring doorbells, or video cameras for security. We have one in the front and two in the back.

Perhaps you could try talking, it is true sometimes people do surprise you, otherwise can you place an ashtray there and smile and say that that is where the butts go?

If nothing else, I wish you a Wonderful Birthday

 

[RogueX]

We live next to a housing authority apartment building and someone on the second or third floor was throwing their cigarettes still partially burning onto our driveway and occasionally landing onto my husband's car. I called the housing authority to report it and it stopped.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Really sorry to read this, DF. Some people just have no respect for anybody or anything. I do hope it gets resolved.

The teenage son walks in the garden undressed?

In any case, DF, a very Happy Birthday tomorrow. Wishing you a good day, a good year ahead.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Do you have a community police officer? Could you contact him/ her directly and ask them to help? In any event telephone the police station again and ask them to log these incidents and request a crime number. I think that you should keep collecting the cigarette ends and put them in a sealed bag, as they will have dna on them.
These situations can escalate rapidly so I don’t think that you should try to handle this on your own. Keep a diary so that you have a log of how often the ends are found in your garden and also take photographs.
You are perfectly entitled to set up a security camera, as you have described.
I am so sorry that you have been alone this week.

 

[Welsh_Dragon]

Happy birthday. I hope that you have a fabulous day.

 

[jrsharp21]

Sorry to hear. Dealing with an inconsiderate neighbor is very frustrating. I am dealing with rude neighbor situation myself right now. We have lived next door to a mom and her son since we moved into this house. The son has always played the drums and we had no issues. Loud at times, yes, but we dealt with it. The son recently graduated from high school, the mom moved out with her boyfriend and left the house to the son and his friends. Now we have 6-8 cars in front of the house on any given evening, cars parked behind our driveway so we can't back out of our driveway (narrow streets), loud music at all hours, a full on band practicing in the house (they turned one of the rooms into a recording studio) and marijuana smoke clouds constantly coming from the back yard to our side yard. The other day our garage smelled so bad. We have contacted the mom several times, but all she does is say thanks for letting me know and never corrects the situation. We finally called the local sheriff and reported the house. The sheriff offered to come talk to the boys. We told them wait until they are having one of their big gatherings to pay them a visit. It boggles my mind to how rude and inconsiderate people can be.

 

[DisTXMom]

Your neighbor is an inconsiderate jerk. I’m sorry. I fear this may be the same breed of people who let their dogs poo on other people’s front lawns so they don’t have to pick up for their pet. Hopefully they will come to their senses but you can’t cure stupid. Ring makes an incredibly easy-to-install motion sensor camera with a light if it doesn’t get better.

 

[doombuggy]

I would throw the butts back into their yard...
Good luck sister!

 

[tcufrog]

I would tell the police that it's a fire hazard.

 

[tcufrog]

I would tell the police that it's a fire hazard.

 

[jerseygal]

Hope that you had a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Awful, how this neighbor can be so inconsiderate..Hope that your issue is resolved with this inconsiderate neighbor.
If you choose not to communicate with him in person, perhaps you can by sending hi a written note in the regular mail.
Thank you to you and your late husband for his military service!

 

[Disney Frenhines]

Do you have a community police officer? Could you contact him/ her directly and ask them to help? In any event telephone the police station again and ask them to log these incidents and request a crime number. I think that you should keep collecting the cigarette ends and put them in a sealed bag, as they will have dna on them.
These situations can escalate rapidly so I don’t think that you should try to handle this on your own. Keep a diary so that you have a log of how often the ends are found in your garden and also take photographs.
You are perfectly entitled to set up a security camera, as you have described.
I am so sorry that you have been alone this week.

I called the police and they told me to go talk to him! Useless. I've keeping the fag ends in a pot, but, since he realised I have a camera trained on the fence (not his garden) to catch any butts coming into the garden they seem to have stopped, but, for how long?
Some people cannot be reasoned with, especially those doing anti social behaviour for absolutely no reason.

 

[Disney Frenhines]

Quick update. The nonsense has stopped, touch wood. Buying the cheap trail camera has worked, added bonus is checking whats in my garden at night, looks like most of the neighbourhood cats are drawn to the catnip I put out for my cat and going nutty rolling around in it.