Honeymoon Registries??

[nancytoby]

I vote for quietly keep/donate/gift, smile to themselves, and be grateful for having such generous friends.

 

[ORMom2Four]

Honeymoon registry? Seriously?


TACKY

 

[schmitty]

My fiancee and I are only going to do a honeymoon registry. We dont want bread machines, waffle makers, and some china we will never use. We already have all the things we need for a house.
Also how is living together a not personal matter but a vacation is?

 

[nancytoby]

This is the basic premise: No one, no matter how expensive their wedding or honeymoon or other celebration is, DESERVES gifts.

True gifts are, by definition, voluntary and unsolicited.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I'm 38... never been married, have no kids. I have more than enough stuff to furnish an entire household. If I were to get married, I wouldn't need a food processor and ten sets of silverware.

So, why not contribute to the honeymoon instead? So many people give cash anyway. You aren't going to tell the couple... here's $50, but don't use it on a trip. Make sure you buy a coffe maker instead.

I think this is just giving people an option. Most people want to give a gift that is put to use... I would feel bad if my gift was added to the "return" pile because they already had three toasters.

 

[luvmy3]

My fiancee and I are only going to do a honeymoon registry. We dont want bread machines, waffle makers, and some china we will never use. We already have all the things we need for a house.
Also how is living together a not personal matter but a vacation is?

Then why not do nothing at all? I can understand not wanting things you'll never use, or already have, but thats why you don't have to register for those things. Asking people specifically to pay for your honeymoon seems pretty tacky, its the same as specifially asking them to pay for your wedding, or at least pay for their plate.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

This is the basic premise: No one, no matter how expensive their wedding or honeymoon or other celebration is, DESERVES gifts.

True gifts are, by definition, voluntary and unsolicited.

That goes both ways, though. Don't you love your family and friends enough to want to make it easier for them if you can? Or is it just that important that you give them a crockpot, knowing that they're going to have to return it because they already have one?

There has a be a happy medium somewhere. No, people getting married (or having birthdays or whatever) shouldn't expect to get gifts. But they KNOW that they are. They just do! I don't think anyone has ever gone to their wedding reception and looked shocked when a table was set up for the gifts. So why not make it easier for everyone?

For everyone who is married... did you honestly not expect to get gifts? Be honest. Wouldn't you have been more surprised if everyone showed up empty-handed?

 

[nancytoby]

That is so, so generous of those people having their wedding or honeymoon to make it easy on those poor folks who are just too dumb to think up a gift all on their lonesome. That shows true kindness and compassion.

And it's truly just awful to be given gifts that you don't want, isn't it? What a burden.

How about this - put on the invitations: "Your presence at our celebration is your gift." That makes it easy for everyone.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

That is so, so generous of those people having their wedding or honeymoon to make it easy on those poor folks who are just too dumb to think up a gift all on their lonesome. That shows true kindness and compassion.

And it's truly just awful to be given gifts that you don't want, isn't it? What a burden.

How about this - put on the invitations: "Your presence at our celebration is your gift." That makes it easy for everyone.

100% agreed.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

That is so, so generous of those people having their wedding or honeymoon to make it easy on those poor folks who are just too dumb to think up a gift all on their lonesome. That shows true kindness and compassion.

And it's truly just awful to be given gifts that you don't want, isn't it? What a burden.

How about this - put on the invitations: "Your presence at our celebration is your gift." That makes it easy for everyone.

Why so bitter?

If I'm going to be invited to someone's wedding, chances are good that it's someone I care about deeply. I want them to be happy. End of discussion. I don't have enough time in the day (or enough pettiness in my heart) to be bothered with the fact that they offered suggestions of things they might like as a gift. They already KNOW that I'm getting them something. I may follow their suggestions, I may not. But I am NOT going to be upset that they offered them. I'm just not.

Feel free to react the way you want. But I'd rather see my loved ones happy and not waste my time being annoyed by things that are so unimportant.

 

[schmitty]

Then why not do nothing at all? I can understand not wanting things you'll never use, or already have, but thats why you don't have to register for those things. Asking people specifically to pay for your honeymoon seems pretty tacky, its the same as specifially asking them to pay for your wedding, or at least pay for their plate.

Yes, I put things I want on my registry like a honeymoon. Honestly, I would rather pay for my own plate then get a gift for someone.

 

[luvmy3]

Yes, I put things I want on my registry like a honeymoon. Honestly, I would rather pay for my own plate then get a gift for someone.

Fair enough, and I don't have an issue with giving cash as a gift whether it is used to pay for my plate, or part of their wedding or honeymoon. I just think its in poor taste to ask people to pay for those things with their gifts, thats all.

 

[englishteacha]

Getting married as a recent college grad, I needed household items. But I understand registering for other things rather than homegoods if you are all set in that category. My sister gave us our DJ's deposit as our wedding gift. A family friend gave us our cake. A couple from the church I grew up in gave us money and specifically said, "Use this for something special on your honeymoon." I guess I don't see a basic honeymoon registry as all that different from giving a couple a gift card for whereever they will be traveling. Registering for specific items for a honeymoon...eh...not for me... (my guests don't need to pay for my breakfast in bed!). But being given Disney Dollars to use on our honeymoon was a pretty special present to open.

 

[LBIJim]

How about this - put on the invitations: "Your presence at our celebration is your gift." That makes it easy for everyone.

That's what my wife and I included with our wedding invitations. I think the wording was "Celebrate with your presence, not your presents."

We got married by a judge with only immediate family and a few close friends present. A month later we had an informal reception for which those invitations were sent. We'd been living together for over 10 years and didn't need or want any of those registry gifts. Besides, it probably would have looked tacky if we expected gifts with such an wedding/reception arrangement.

A few people did bring gifts. which we graciously accepted. I guess we weren't totally surprised that some people brought gifts, but they WERE unexpected.

Jim

 

[indimom]

That is so, so generous of those people having their wedding or honeymoon to make it easy on those poor folks who are just too dumb to think up a gift all on their lonesome. That shows true kindness and compassion.

And it's truly just awful to be given gifts that you don't want, isn't it? What a burden.

How about this - put on the invitations: "Your presence at our celebration is your gift." That makes it easy for everyone.

That's what my wife and I included with our wedding invitations. I think the wording was "Celebrate with your presence, not your presents."

We got married by a judge with only immediate family and a few close friends present. A month later we had an informal reception for which those invitations were sent. We'd been living together for over 10 years and didn't need or want any of those registry gifts. Besides, it probably would have looked tacky if we expected gifts with such an wedding/reception arrangement.

A few people did bring gifts. which we graciously accepted. I guess we weren't totally surprised that some people brought gifts, but they WERE unexpected.

Jim

I don't know. To me, that just makes it more confusing and conflicting. I was raised to bring a gift to such events. Being told not to sends me into a tizzy.

I don't want to be the "only one" who followed your rules and look cheap.

I also don't want to be the "only one" who didn't follow your rules and make others look cheap.

My aunt and uncle just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary a month ago and everyone was invited to dinner at a local restaurant. The invitation requested no gifts. I got a total of four calls from various family members asking "Was I bringing a gift?" Because they were conflicted also.

You just can't win.

Aint life fun!!!

 

[PaulaSB12]

While I understand the idea of wedding shower registries (why a wedding shower?) wedding registries and honeymoon registries these all carry the expectationcy a gift. Which is to me tacky. Its now not oh thank you for bringing a gift what a wonderful suprise but I invited you to my shower/wedding where is my present. To these who do a wedding shower (what is that and why have one in the first place?) and invite guests to both shower and wedding do you expect a gift for both occassions? I am sorry but weddings have become ridiculous we have brides who expect expensive showers that they expect bridesmaids to pay for(remember the post about a bridesmaid who had organised one shower for the bride but couldn't afford to pay or take the time off to go to the out of town shower most people said it was her duty to go to both and to heck with the idea she couldn't afford it), large weddings so they can be princess for the day (I hope most brides are nothing like those shown in bratzillas) and that wonderful honeymoon, why the wedding is the small part of the marriage the life after is what is important.

 

[coconutprincess]

I think that the consensusu is they are tacky - but given couples are getting married later I think it is more common place. For some familieies, showers are really important. IIf you are well established and don't need plates and dishes, and towels, as you already have really nice ones, this gives people an alternative.

My good friend recently got married and her and her now DH were both pretty well off, and he already owned a nice home. She actually refused a shower for a lack of things for people to buy her. But her family insisted she register and have a shower, so she had to create a registry with items that were very hard to buy for. So in a situation like that, I think a honeymoon registry is a nice idea (granted they did not do that as her DH surprised her with where they were going).

I'd rather do a honeymoon one rather that one where everything is very expensive.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I don't think HM registries are the worst thing in the world but I don't like it when it includes the essentials of the HM like airfare & hotel costs. I prefer when there are only items to enhance the HM like a room service breakfast, a tour, couple massage or things like that. But my biggest hesitation to HM registries is that some of them deduct a small percentage of the money collected for the couple.


I am buying/bringing a gift to the shower and wedding anyway so I don't mind registries since I want to get the couple something they truly want and need.

 

[Rora]

I guess I'm a youngin' in the minority here, but I don't have a big problem with honeymoon registries as long as there is no other registry to buy from. So, I'd have a problem if someone registered at Target and let's say a Travel Agency site that does Honeymoons.

If it's just asking for Honeymoon donations, I don't have a big problem with it..

To each his own, I guess!

 

[barkley]

along the same line (but to my mind much tackier)-

the last wedding we went to, on the table with the guest book were two "trees" (spraypainted white branches inset in rock filled vases). on each tree were multiple clothes pins. one tree had a note attached to the top that read "help us furnish our new apartment", the note had photos of high end furniture items. the other tree's note read "help us make our honeymoon a reality", with photos of a high end resort destination.

um, make the honeymoon trip a reality????? every guest knew the couple was leaving on the trip the next morning, did they realy think that the guests were going to believe that absent contributions the trip was'nt happening?

help furnish their apartment? what exactly did they think people were doing when they gifted the bedding set, linens, towels, and art pcs. they had registered for already?