*** Homeschool List ***

[mickeyjen]

Hi! I have a 5th grader who absolutely detests school. He has several diagnosis (adhd, anxiety, autism spectrum and mood disorder) and he is highly intelligent but hates everything about public school. I've always said I wished we could homeschool but it wouldn't work. He is a behavior challenge at home but not so much at school. This morning I had a thought- what would he be like at home without the anxiety and stress that school causes? He has NO friends, is never invited to anyone's house or birthday party... he is a social outcast. I worry what group he will fall into next year in middle school. I'm not an idiot- but I don't know if I am smart enough to homeschool. I also know my dh will be against it, he doesn't like to deviate from a plan. Is it too late to start at this age? How many hours a day do you "school" ? (4 hours is about his limit.... after that he's just done and FORGET homework in the evening..... not gonna happen). I would have to quit my part time job.....

Any input would be appreciated.

You could totally get done in 4 hours and there shouldn't be a need for homework. Part of the beauty of HSing is that you will get to decide what is important and what isn't, and he can go at his own pace for each subject, so if some are more difficult, you can spend more time. If he gets something quickly, you can move on....

Does he currently see an OT? My DS has SID, and OT has made a big difference in home behavior. Also, for him, taking him out of school (it was preschool at the time, so a big difference to your son) took so much stress out of his life. It was THE number one cause of stress for him, and he definitely behaved better at home when that stress was removed... (he is now considered a Kindergarten student BTW.... so its been one year)

I don't know about everyone else here, but I really didn't think I could homeschool either, but I love every minute now and wouldn't change it for the world....

 

[disneydreamin-gang]

Hi! I have a 5th grader who absolutely detests school. He has several diagnosis (adhd, anxiety, autism spectrum and mood disorder) and he is highly intelligent but hates everything about public school. I've always said I wished we could homeschool but it wouldn't work. He is a behavior challenge at home but not so much at school. This morning I had a thought- what would he be like at home without the anxiety and stress that school causes? He has NO friends, is never invited to anyone's house or birthday party... he is a social outcast. I worry what group he will fall into next year in middle school. I'm not an idiot- but I don't know if I am smart enough to homeschool. I also know my dh will be against it, he doesn't like to deviate from a plan. Is it too late to start at this age? How many hours a day do you "school" ? (4 hours is about his limit.... after that he's just done and FORGET homework in the evening..... not gonna happen). I would have to quit my part time job.....

Any input would be appreciated.

Let me encourage you. I have 2 children with special needs. My DD12 has ADHD, Bi-Polar and Op defiance Disorder and DS8 with ADHD, Bi-Polar and PDD(pervasive developmental disorder). Both are challenging to say the least. I have been homeschooling for 16 years and have 3 graduated and gone. One of those 3 had 1 ADHD.
I too am not the smartest cookie in the jar but have been very successful at homeschooling. The 2 oldest boys are in the carpenters union and our oldest is working in a day care. The oldest we brought home in 5th grade after an awful school experience.

So to get to my point. No it's not too late to start homeschooling. Yes you can get it done in 4 hours or less. It will probably ease his anxiety and stress and you may find a much happier child. You can also find support through your state homeschool group. Ohio has a very informative convention every year and several sessions on special needs. I gained quite a bit of information last year from Malinda Boring's sessions. She has a book called "Heads Up Helping" that is quite good. Just search her name and you'll come up with her page. She has many good resources also.

I hope this helps.

If you have any more questions just ask away. I will try and help in any way I can.

 

[DawnM]

Oh my gosh. I had to do a double take and realize that I didn't post this! My name is Dawn and I am a former high school English teacher as well! But I have all sons!

Dawn

I'm a former high school English teacher. I had serious concerns (much like yours) 13 years ago, when I quit, and those concerns have only grown (exponentially). My DDs are 22, 19, 12, & 9. What I have learned is that each family and each child has to make its own way along the journey of homeschooling. What works for me might not work for someone else. I love the flexibility that homeschooling afford me and for that alone, my DDs won't go to public school. There are many opportunities for "socialization" from local playgrounds to starting your own "class" or "group" (I run an American Girl Friendship Club for our homeschool group) to rec centers and studios offering classes.

As far as high school goes, there are LOTS of resources available to you, but you have plenty of time to worry about that. We take it one year at a time and try not to worry too far ahead. Suffice it to say that between my husband and I and the curriculum we used, my older 2 didn't have any problems. My now 19yo took the GED at 16 and went on to college from there. My older 2 don't hate me, btw They did have some opinions when they were 13 or so, but I just didn't let it bother me.

Finally, the Birthday Party Question. We don't invite kids. Our birthday parties involve family and usually a little vacation somewhere. This year, 12yo will be at Great Wolf Lodge for hers and we're taking 9yo to American Girl Place in NYC. That's a lot more fun and a lot less stress! They make friends through their classes/clubs and stay in touch mostly via email and message boards, but no one really does the birthday party thing, even within the group.

 

[Mermaid02]

Thank you guys so much!! I really want to give this a try in September... I think the biggest thing is dh will be scared to have me quit my 20 hour per week part time job. We have gotten used to the income, but we could do without it if we buckled down. I found a hs program called "time for learning" online and many folks said their Asperger's kids were very successful with it. Does anyone use this program? Jack is such a great kid, he's funny and charming and so smart I hate to see him fail continually because he can't "conform" to their idea of how he should be.

 

[meandtheguys2]

A girlfriend uses that curriculum with her young man 10, (moderate Aspergers), and he is doing quite well. Be aware, that short-term behavior "might" escalate. This has been the case with several people I know. The stress of change hit before the decompression from the stressors at school.

After a bit, though, their lives have all become more peaceful.

 

[Mermaid02]

A girlfriend uses that curriculum with her young man 10, (moderate Aspergers), and he is doing quite well. Be aware, that short-term behavior "might" escalate. This has been the case with several people I know. The stress of change hit before the decompression from the stressors at school.

After a bit, though, their lives have all become more peaceful.

Thanks! That's why I figured on starting in September after summer vacation... I'm sure he'll still give me a run for my money but not so much as if I yanked him out of school now.

 

[teacups]

I am so frustrated....
I have made my mind up that I am going to start home schooling this summer. I dont want to pull my kids out of school this year, as I changed schools A LOT when I was a kid and I dont want to disrupt their flow, so to say. (becasue overall they are happy).
I got this strange calm, relaxed happy mental status once I decided... but everytime I go to the school now something else seems to bug me!
I think I posted about how some kid made sexual referneces about my daughter (8) last Friday... well I spoke to the counselor briefly yesterday and she said it was wrong, but that's how boys learn not to cross a line. They got "A good talking to".... WTH? I dont know what I expected, I didnt need to hear their punishment, but since she offered it up I feel it was way too minimal. Are you (her) trying to tell me that boys dont know right from wrong until they do the wrong? THAT IS STUPID! If that's how schools are thinking... God help us all. We are planning a DL trip for a week in April. We were not going to pull the kids out of school, since we also went to DL in Oct. for a week... Now? I dont care what the school thinks. "I didnt know two week -long vacations was wrong. Thank you for pointing out that I crossed a line." I'm ready for them.

Sorry... venting.

 

[Mermaid02]

I envy you that you made your decision Teacups!! I'm struggling.... I really want to do it but I KNOW everyone in my life will tell me that it can't be done. I have to find the strength and resolution to stand up to all of them. Was your children's father supportive of you from the beginning... my dh won't be. His answer will be something along the lines of "kids go to school" period.

 

[meandtheguys2]

My DH was "iffy" with the whole idea. Until he started seeing the results. My MIL, whom I dearly love, spent the first five years saying stuff like "David is doing so well...so, you are going to put him in school next year, right?" It took awhile for her to see how illogical that was!

Now, when my brother started homeshcooling 25 years ago, I was the thorn in his flesh...I can't tell you how much crow I've eaten in the last 10!

 

[Mermaid02]

My DH was "iffy" with the whole idea. Until he started seeing the results. My MIL, whom I dearly love, spent the first five years saying stuff like "David is doing so well...so, you are going to put him in school next year, right?" It took awhile for her to see how illogical that was!

Now, when my brother started homeshcooling 25 years ago, I was the thorn in his flesh...I can't tell you how much crow I've eaten in the last 10!

I've reached out to a couple of homeschool groups in the area and I'm hoping to make some contacts and bounce some ideas off of them. Maybe we could meet with them before we start and get a real feel for the whole process. I really want this to work!!!

 

[tnmomof4]

I envy you that you made your decision Teacups!! I'm struggling.... I really want to do it but I KNOW everyone in my life will tell me that it can't be done. I have to find the strength and resolution to stand up to all of them. Was your children's father supportive of you from the beginning... my dh won't be. His answer will be something along the lines of "kids go to school" period.

I am so frustrated....
I have made my mind up that I am going to start home schooling this summer. I dont want to pull my kids out of school this year, as I changed schools A LOT when I was a kid and I dont want to disrupt their flow, so to say. (becasue overall they are happy).
I got this strange calm, relaxed happy mental status once I decided... but everytime I go to the school now something else seems to bug me!
I think I posted about how some kid made sexual referneces about my daughter (8) last Friday... well I spoke to the counselor briefly yesterday and she said it was wrong, but that's how boys learn not to cross a line. They got "A good talking to".... WTH? I dont know what I expected, I didnt need to hear their punishment, but since she offered it up I feel it was way too minimal. Are you (her) trying to tell me that boys dont know right from wrong until they do the wrong? THAT IS STUPID! If that's how schools are thinking... God help us all. We are planning a DL trip for a week in April. We were not going to pull the kids out of school, since we also went to DL in Oct. for a week... Now? I dont care what the school thinks. "I didnt know two week -long vacations was wrong. Thank you for pointing out that I crossed a line." I'm ready for them.

Sorry... venting.

I don't have lots of advice on homeschooling since this is my first year. I can say though that I was in both your places not too long ago. I have more experience and advice with the decision to homeschool and why. I could write a whole page on why I decided to homeschool. My boys were in a private, religious school. I struggled with the decision to homeschool them for a long time. Especially last year when they were still in this private school. It seemed to me that there was always something that I didn't like or really just didn't agree with. My boys got treated different and not in a good way. My older son was also having a very hard time with his school work.

I struggled with my decision, but when I finally made it, I had that calm, happy state of mind too. It was not easy to make this decision, because nobody agreed with me. Nobody thought that I as a single mom with twin 3 year olds could homeschool. The reason I decided to homeschool is because it is what I knew was best for my kids. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I did know for sure that is was what was best. When it came down to those saying not to do it, I had to stand my ground and say I know what is best for my children.

It has been an adjustment, and we are still adjusting. We have our bad days, but mostly good days. I still know that my decision was the right one. I love knowing what influences are on my boys. My boys are doing much better with their school work. I like that I can focus on what they need. Their grades can attest to how they are doing, because they are doing great. Whenever anybody asks "How's it going" in that sarcastic way... I always say great!!!!

 

[teacups]

Mermaid, my hubby was on board with me. All the way. We are one of those families who do things together... and that includes volunteering at the school, talking to the teachers, working in the yard, cleaning the house (well, partly ) so this was no different. We have always went against the flow with our kids. I remember waaaaay back when my daughter was a baby there was a new shot for some stomach flu or something. I didnt think there was enough info, so I flat out refused it. Our pediatrician thought I was a nut job. Turns out, before it was recalled, one child in her practice got severely ill from it (I actually think the child didnt survive.) I never gloated becasue how could you be happy about another child beinbg ill... but I knew in my heart that I needed to hear my own voice when it came to what was best for my kids. I may not always be able to put it into words, but I know what I feel. I think parents are given these instincts, and some just forget (or choose not) to use them. It's easy just to say "Oh well. Let the kids deal. It's good for them to toughen up." It's not easy listening to that little voice when it tells you to get up off your duff and do something.
If you feel in your heart that this is best for your child I hope your hubby comes around, or at least will sit down and talk to you about this. The social part is what usually freaks people out. I dont know why? I DONT WANT them socialized by the stuff that is out there! I plan to take them places, to show them things, to watch them experience something first hand, rather than just hearing about it. Our schools are just too crowded for good learning where I live. My sons kindergarten class has 30 kids. That's just insane. I believe that my kids will be smarter, more stable, more self confident, more well rounded individuals and I believe our family will be all the better. I am SO HAPPY that Ive made up my mind... and the feeling of calm, happy...it's weird but so great! Good luck to you!!!

 

[meandtheguys2]

I've reached out to a couple of homeschool groups in the area and I'm hoping to make some contacts and bounce some ideas off of them. Maybe we could meet with them before we start and get a real feel for the whole process. I really want this to work!!!

Remember, that different groups have different "feels!" I hated my first group...and technically they kicked me out! I never was good with a bunch of silly rules!

Then I found the people that have been my saving grace. They are the ones I call when my 13 is acting funky, to find out it their's have acted the same. Or call when we finish science half way thru the year, and want to borrow material for the next month or two. I couldn't get by without them!

 

[mommyof3grlz]

This is our 6th year homeschooling. It gets better every year. I second the suggestion to find other moms that you can relate to and call on for help or a shoulder to cry on. We have started a monthly mom's night out where we get together without kids and share whatever successes, frustrations, failures, joys, and complaints, etc. that we have on our mind. This really helps me know I am not alone in this process. Good Luck!

 

[sha_lyn]

DH wasn't on board with HS'ing at first either. However he knew we had to do something. Public school was slowly destroying DS. Had we never moved, we probably would have been very happy with PS and never considered home-schooling. The local ele was so completely different from what DS had experienced k-2. The kid who used to love going to school had turned into someone who would cry at the though of school some days. By the beginning of 6th grade we knew we had to do something. We started looking into private schools but couldn't afford any in the area.
Between DH, family and the feed back here on the DIS I thought there was no way I could home-school. Then one day I finally had enough. Just a few weeks before the end of 6th grade I realized just how behind DS was. Now mind you he was in the highest math class and 2nd highest reading class in 6th grade. However he was reading at a 4.5 level and had no concept of basic math skills. Then his test scores came in. Several of his 6th grade standardized test scores were below average for the first time. The others on the low end of average. In his old school DS scored from the high end of average to above average. Slowly over the yrs in the new school they dropped a little but stayed in the average range until 6th.

I started researching and found that his ele school averaged around 73% requiring remedial or special ed in middle and high school. The ele was so far behind the others that the kids from his school didn't stand a chance of catching up without be held back in middle school.


DH still wasn't on board but said we would give it a try. The test scores, % requiring remedial help and loss of acredidation was enough for hie to give in and let me try. By the end of our first yr of homeschooling DS's test scores had improved drastically. That finally got DH on board with homeschooling. I never really realized how pro homeschooling he has become until some of his comments in the last yr or 2.

DS has now finished HS'ing and DD is 4th grade. This is our 6th yr of homeschooling.

I had just joined the DIS that same yr that DS was in 6th grade. I don't believe there was a single home-schooler here then, and I basically told I was nuts to even consider it.There were even a few DIS'ers banned for their attacks on me. Had one tell me they knew I was too stupid to home-school because there was no way private schools cost as much as I claimed. I gave links to every private school in the area and told them if they could find anything cheaper to post it. Well of course it wasn't their job to find a school for me, and I was obviously selecting only the expensive ones to post about. The cost was low in their area due to enough competition between good public schools and numerous religious schools. they just couldn't grasp that when there is only a handful of private schools in the 2rd worst system in the 2nd worst state, that private schools can and do charge 13-15 k per yr vs the 3K per child she was spending for a top notch Catholic school.
Then of course we had the graduate student that knew someone in graduate school that attended a different ele/middle/high school in our area. Since this person was attending a prestigious university, then I was lying about how horrible our local school was. Links to articles about the school losing accreditation, links to the states database on test scores etc didn't matter. I had to be lying because this other DISer knew someone from my area.

LOL...as I've reread the above I realized I did a lot venting on the anti-home-school atmosphere here on the DIS. While I thought about deleting it, I think its better to show just what can be lurking below the surface here, and why I try to avoid any other HS threads.

 

[DawnM]

Bless you.

The truth of the matter is, I don't really care if the best private school is around the corner, homeschooling is the choice we are making and I really am not wanting anyone else's opinions about it!!!!!



Dawn

DH wasn't on board with HS'ing at first either. However he knew we had to do something. Public school was slowly destroying DS. Had we never moved, we probably would have been very happy with PS and never considered home-schooling. The local ele was so completely different from what DS had experienced k-2. The kid who used to love going to school had turned into someone who would cry at the though of school some days. By the beginning of 6th grade we knew we had to do something. We started looking into private schools but couldn't afford any in the area.
Between DH, family and the feed back here on the DIS I thought there was no way I could home-school. Then one day I finally had enough. Just a few weeks before the end of 6th grade I realized just how behind DS was. Now mind you he was in the highest math class and 2nd highest reading class in 6th grade. However he was reading at a 4.5 level and had no concept of basic math skills. Then his test scores came in. Several of his 6th grade standardized test scores were below average for the first time. The others on the low end of average. In his old school DS scored from the high end of average to above average. Slowly over the yrs in the new school they dropped a little but stayed in the average range until 6th.

I started researching and found that his ele school averaged around 73% requiring remedial or special ed in middle and high school. The ele was so far behind the others that the kids from his school didn't stand a chance of catching up without be held back in middle school.


DH still wasn't on board but said we would give it a try. The test scores, % requiring remedial help and loss of acredidation was enough for hie to give in and let me try. By the end of our first yr of homeschooling DS's test scores had improved drastically. That finally got DH on board with homeschooling. I never really realized how pro homeschooling he has become until some of his comments in the last yr or 2.

DS has now finished HS'ing and DD is 4th grade. This is our 6th yr of homeschooling.

I had just joined the DIS that same yr that DS was in 6th grade. I don't believe there was a single home-schooler here then, and I basically told I was nuts to even consider it.There were even a few DIS'ers banned for their attacks on me. Had one tell me they knew I was too stupid to home-school because there was no way private schools cost as much as I claimed. I gave links to every private school in the area and told them if they could find anything cheaper to post it. Well of course it wasn't their job to find a school for me, and I was obviously selecting only the expensive ones to post about. The cost was low in their area due to enough competition between good public schools and numerous religious schools. they just couldn't grasp that when there is only a handful of private schools in the 2rd worst system in the 2nd worst state, that private schools can and do charge 13-15 k per yr vs the 3K per child she was spending for a top notch Catholic school.
Then of course we had the graduate student that knew someone in graduate school that attended a different ele/middle/high school in our area. Since this person was attending a prestigious university, then I was lying about how horrible our local school was. Links to articles about the school losing accreditation, links to the states database on test scores etc didn't matter. I had to be lying because this other DISer knew someone from my area.

LOL...as I've reread the above I realized I did a lot venting on the anti-home-school atmosphere here on the DIS. While I thought about deleting it, I think its better to show just what can be lurking below the surface here, and why I try to avoid any other HS threads.

 

[earthfaries]

Bless you.

The truth of the matter is, I don't really care if the best private school is around the corner, homeschooling is the choice we are making and I really am not wanting anyone else's opinions about it!!!!!



Dawn

I agree, I don't care how good a school is supposed to be, NO school is better to me than My home school for us! ​

 

[sha_lyn]

LOL Dawn.
I spent the 1st yr thinking HS'ing was just a stop gap. We would HS for middle school, get DScaught up and then off to highschool he would go.
That first yr we put DD in a small 3.5hr 4 day(or was it 3, I can't remember now) a week preschool. Had every intention of asking for a waiver from the school board so she could attend a different ele than the one in our district.
Then DD's preschool teacher talk to us about DD being the youngest in her class and how her age/size would be a disadvantage to her in public full day K. Had every intention to only keep her home for K to "catch her up" then send her on to 1st. I didn't want the stigma of holding her back a yr. Then at the end of the first yr she still wasn't ready for 1st grade. Again it was just that stigma that kept us homeschooling DD. Last yr at the end of 3rd, she scored above average and very well probably could have been fast tracked to be finishing up 5th this yr. However now our whole thought on education, child development and childhood has changed. As I said in an earlier post.... Slow and steady wins the race.

 

[DawnM]

Yeah, I agree.

I really would like to be able to juggle working part time and homeschooling. I haven't quite figured out a way to do that to my own satisfacation yet, but I am still thinking about it. I miss working a lot. That is my only problem with homeschooling (all about ME!)

Dawn

LOL Dawn.
I spent the 1st yr thinking HS'ing was just a stop gap. We would HS for middle school, get DScaught up and then off to highschool he would go.
That first yr we put DD in a small 3.5hr 4 day(or was it 3, I can't remember now) a week preschool. Had every intention of asking for a waiver from the school board so she could attend a different ele than the one in our district.
Then DD's preschool teacher talk to us about DD being the youngest in her class and how her age/size would be a disadvantage to her in public full day K. Had every intention to only keep her home for K to "catch her up" then send her on to 1st. I didn't want the stigma of holding her back a yr. Then at the end of the first yr she still wasn't ready for 1st grade. Again it was just that stigma that kept us homeschooling DD. Last yr at the end of 3rd, she scored above average and very well probably could have been fast tracked to be finishing up 5th this yr. However now our whole thought on education, child development and childhood has changed. As I said in an earlier post.... Slow and steady wins the race.

 

[heatherplus3]

It seems like I am in the same boat as a lot of others! We have also decided to homeschool DS6 next year. DH is "cautiously optomistic". Poor DS has had a rough go this year and it has recently came to a breaking point. He started having anxiety attacks at school and breaking out in hives during the phoenics tests. In kindergarten! He is such a different person at school, so withdrawn. At home he is happy go lucky and SO TALKATIVE! He really had seemed to have lost his spirit for a while there. We went ahead and cut him back to half day from full day, and have been homeschooling for an hour in the afternoon. We get so much done in that hour! Things have been awesome, we have our little guy back. But the school wants to hold him back, not because he is academically behind, but because he is "emotionally immature". I think the classroom environment just doesn't work for him for whatever reason. But yeah, I can absolutely see the upcoming grief I am going to be getting from friends, family, neighbors.... Already one neighbor told me she would never homeschool because she wanted her kids to have a quality education!

Good luck and God Bless to all!!