Home Daycare Issue-WWYD?

[KiKi Mouse]

My 18 month old daughter is in a home daycare.
On Monday when I went to pick her up the daycare provider told me that my daughter bit another kid on the face. Not unusual for DD as we have had a biting problem with her off and on for the past few months. I asked what happened and the sitter told me that DD got a time out but wasn't very happy with that.
On Tuesday I notice a distinctive bite mark on DDs upper left arm. At first I thought the other kid (3 y/o) bit her back but I thought that it was odd that:
1) the sitter didn't mention it
2) the bit mark looked too big for the 3 y/o to do

So today (Wednesday) I keep looking at the bite mark and it is really bothering me because it just seems too big for a little kid to do. So I called the mom of the 3 y/o DD bit. She spoke to her son and asked him what the sitter did after DD bit him. The boy said that the sitter hit DD on the arm and then he made a chomping motion.

A few months ago when DH was discussing the biting issue with the sitter she told him to bite DD back to teach her a lesson. We thought that was odd and not something we would ever do.

DH comes home from work today and I am worried about the bite mark. I tell him what the other mom said and told him to bite himself just so he could see the size of an adult bite. It's the same as what is on DD's arm.
DH calls the sitter and asks her if she knows why there is a bruise on DDs arm. He was very calm and didn't accuse her of anything. The sitter thinks and says she doesn't know but maybe the boy bit DD back and that maybe DD is cured now. DH gets off the phone and he says that he felt that he caught the sitter off guard and thinks that she bit our DD to teach her a lesson.
ugh. I feel sick. I have a picture but I do not know how to put it in a post.

So...if you were us...what would you do and what do you think should happen?

 

[TomLovesBecky]

My 18 month old daughter is in a home daycare.
On Monday when I went to pick her up the daycare provider told me that my daughter bit another kid on the face. Not unusual for DD as we have had a biting problem with her off and on for the past few months. I asked what happened and the sitter told me that DD got a time out but wasn't very happy with that.
On Tuesday I notice a distinctive bite mark on DDs upper left arm. At first I thought the other kid (3 y/o) bit her back but I thought that it was odd that:
1) the sitter didn't mention it
2) the bit mark looked too big for the 3 y/o to do

So today (Wednesday) I keep looking at the bite mark and it is really bothering me because it just seems too big for a little kid to do. So I called the mom of the 3 y/o DD bit. She spoke to her son and asked him what the sitter did after DD bit him. The boy said that the sitter hit DD on the arm and then he made a chomping motion.

A few months ago when DH was discussing the biting issue with the sitter she told him to bite DD back to teach her a lesson. We thought that was odd and not something we would ever do.

DH comes home from work today and I am worried about the bite mark. I tell him what the other mom said and told him to bite himself just so he could see the size of an adult bite. It's the same as what is on DD's arm.
DH calls the sitter and asks her if she knows why there is a bruise on DDs arm. He was very calm and didn't accuse her of anything. The sitter thinks and says she doesn't know but maybe the boy bit DD back and that maybe DD is cured now. DH gets off the phone and he says that he felt that he caught the sitter off guard and thinks that she bit our DD to teach her a lesson.
ugh. I feel sick. I have a picture but I do not know how to put it in a post.

So...if you were us...what would you do and what do you think should happen?

Well, since I know damn good and well what an adult bite mark looks like, I would call the sitter and say that I knew she had bitten my daughter and then call the police. I would obviously never take my child back there again.

 

[bumbershoot]

I would find a new daycare provider.

 

[hentob]

Well, since I know damn good and well what an adult bite mark looks like, I would call the sitter and say that I knew she had bitten my daughter and then call the police. I would obviously never take my child back there again.

I agree with your post

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I'd call the police, for starters. And I sure as heck wouldn't be going to work until I found a new daycare. I'm sure there are plenty of good home providers out there, but this is exactly why I'd stick with centers. And when I was interviewing centers, I would specifically ask about discipline.

Your poor baby.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

DD is not going back there.
The police were called and they have passed on the file to the child abuse section. I hope I hear soon about what they are planning to do.

I work with the husband of the sitter.


I feel like I failed my child. I thought we were doing a good thing because I have known these people for seven years. Now I feel sick and wonder what else has gone on.

 

[hentob]

I feel like I failed my child.

STOP! You did NOT fail your child

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

the sitter ha NO right to do that to your child.

that said.. I remember a boy I babysat who was a biter, drew blood once. His mom tried for months to figure out how to stop it, she took him to therapy (he was 3) and came to the conclusion your sitter did, bite him and he will stop. So mom did that and oddly he stopped biting. BUT like I said, your sitter had no right to do this. It is not her place. Poor baby of yours to have to have been the brunt of her doing. Did you document the bite/bruise marks? photos and place a ruler along the mark in the picture.


Hugs to you all.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

the sitter ha NO right to do that to your child.

that said.. I remember a boy I babysat who was a biter, drew blood once. His mom tried for months to figure out how to stop it, she took him to therapy (he was 3) and came to the conclusion your sitter did, bite him and he will stop. So mom did that and oddly he stopped biting. BUT like I said, your sitter had no right to do this. It is not her place. Poor baby of yours to have to have been the brunt of her doing. Did you document the bite/bruise marks? photos and place a ruler along the mark in the picture.


Hugs to you all.

NO ONE has the right to bite a baby to teach them a lesson! Not even the parents. It is considered child abuse. It is SICK SICK SICK and I am totally outraged when I hear about people doing this.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc292/KiKi_Mouse/Bitemark.jpg

Here's the picture.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc292/KiKi_Mouse/Bitemark.jpg

Here's the picture.

 

[LisaZee]

OMG that's a HUGE bite mark. Poor baby!

FWIW, I think you did the right thing...

What the heck are people thinking, biting someone else's kid? Man...

 

[rentayenta]

Ouch! Did you ask your DD how that mark got there? I know 18 mo olds aren't the most articulate but she might be able to tell you even if it's mumbled and jumbled.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I asked and she said "squito!" because there is a mosquito bite further down her arm....and then started scratching it.

Like I said earlier...I think the sitter thought she would teach DD a lesson and never thought she would leave a mark like that.

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

Poor baby! Ouch!

And you are NOT failing your daughter. Failing her would be to not notice those large bruises, or noticing them and doing nothing about it.

 

[mselly13]

I have always heard that to get a child to quit biting you bite them back. Some people may not agree but that's what I have always heard. The problem with your sitter though is that she lied to you and that this was not agreed upon by y'all. Maybe if y'all had discussed this and agreed this is how she would handle it or if she had told you when she did. But to do it, not tell you, and then leave a mark like that is unacceptable. I think if you've called the police you have handled it.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I'm just shocked at that picture!

And I also don't think you failed your child.

Good luck.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I have always heard that to get a child to quit biting you bite them back. Some people may not agree but that's what I have always heard. The problem with your sitter though is that she lied to you and that this was not agreed upon by y'all. Maybe if y'all had discussed this and agreed this is how she would handle it or if she had told you when she did. But to do it, not tell you, and then leave a mark like that is unacceptable. I think if you've called the police you have handled it.

The sitter told me that DD got a time out. That is acceptable. Biting to the point of leaving a mark like that is not only wrong it is illegal. If I walked up to somebody on the street and bit them it would be an assault and I would be charged.
i'm off to bed...DH and I are wired still...hope we can sleep. I'll update when I hear more from the police.

 

[TiggerTails57]

The sitter told me that DD got a time out. That is acceptable. Biting to the point of leaving a mark like that is not only wrong it is illegal. If I walked up to somebody on the street and bit them it would be an assault and I would be charged.
i'm off to bed...DH and I are wired still...hope we can sleep. I'll update when I hear more from the police.

Best wishes.......poor baby.

 

[Michelle67]

I'm so sorry that happened. You have in NO way failed your child. You've done exactly what needed to be done as soon as you realized what had happened. You're a good mom. You're not expected to be psychic.