holiday gifts at the office vent

[dani0622]

I apologize for this post, I just need to let off steam. I work with 7 other women and we were just discussing holiday gifts. I suggested chipping in for the manager's gift and said even if we chip in five bucks, $35 would still get her a nice gift. Two of the other women rolled their eyes at me and said "we think we can spring for $10 each." I didn't respond, I hate having to defend my financial situation. I still have to get the other 6 women little gifts, in addition to my family. We all pretty much make the same, but almost all of these women still live at home with their parents and the ones who don't rent apartments for very little. Money is tight with me and my DH, we are pinching every penny to take our February trip and trying to save for our first house! I fill like saying forget it. And then I can determine how much I spend! Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[golfgal]

Why don't you suggest that instead of giving gifts this year that you all just go out for a nice lunch somewhere, everyone paying for their own meal or you could take up a collection for a Christmas charity instead of exchanging gifts.

 

[BkrsLoveDis!]

Danielle - I had this problem when I first graduated from college and it made the holidays very stressful. I gave what everyone expected me to give for the first couple of years and then finally put my foot down and either gave what I felt like I could give ($5 instead of $10) or did a gift for the managers on my own (generally something I had made like holiday cookies with a nice card or something).

After all - it's the thought that counts not how much money you spend - don't let these people who have no idea what your situation is like force you into doing something that you are either uncomfortable with financially or just don't want to do.

By the way - when I finally put my foot down and didn't give at all, one person said something and by the time the holidays were over with, everyone had completely forgotten about it. The next year, no problem - they asked, I said no and since I had already set the precedence, it was no longer an issue.

Good luck with whatever you decide - but do what's comfortable for you!!!

 

[dani0622]

I like the lunch idea! Thanks for both of your suggestions/advice!

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

I have decided that this year I will not be exchanging presents with the other secretary in my office . . . .I just haven't told her yet . . . I think I'll just email her and let her know that I won't be doing it . . . .

 

[ash&abby'smom]

You should give what you can and don't let the others make you feel like you have to give more. Why don't ya'll pull names among the rest of your coworkers and buy just one gift and set a limit of say $10 or $15 for that one gift. That's what we used to do, back when I was working in an office. Holidays can be stressful and I don't feel you should do anything you can't afford or don't agree with. I'm so glad I stay at home now.

 

[jetsetter90]

Why not do a secret santa but with a twist. You set a limit of $ and it needs to be wrapped. You place the presents in a bag or box and one at a time you each take one. This way you only have to spend for 1 gift but it would be worth a little more.

TTFN

Jetsetter90

 

[Christine]

I had the "office gift" stuff. Fortunately, we employees don't exchanged between each other but, we do chip in for the boss (who gets us all nice, individual gifts). Unfortunately, I've gotten stuck with it for the last few years. I always ask for $10 from each employee or "whatever" because I know some people do not have a lot of money. If someone only gives me $5, I do not care. Just give what you can afford and leave it at that.

 

[Chicago526]

I'm lucky, I only work with three other people, and we all agree to spend $10 on each gift, so for me it's only $30. Boss also takes us out to lunch at her own expence, that's when we exchange gifts. When we had more people in the office, we'd just do Secret Santa and only have one gift to buy for about $25 (and still do lunch!).

 

[Jenn]

We used to do a grab bag type gift with a $20 limit. Then, finally, a couple of us were talking about how crazy it is to search for a non-gender gift every year and we suggested we just drop it. We sent an email to everyone saying we all have our own families and our own charities we support this time of year and lets make this one less thing on our list. Everyone agreed and we haven't done it since!!

We do order a take out lunch the last day before Christmas - we all spend the afternoon eating and then we wish each other a Merry Christmas and head home for the holiday!

So much better this way....

 

[SpecialK]

We used to do a Secret Santa exchange at work. It got tiresome trying to find something appropriate that fell within the price limits. I finally suggested that, rather than exchanging small gifts, we made a monetary donation to the local food pantry. Only one person objected.

 

[PlaneJoy1]

Instead of buying each other another candle or pair of slippers, why not suggest that the office get an "angel" off the angel tree and buy a few gifts for a child that may not have Christmas. This is a better use of your money... IMHO.

We did this in my old department and it went over well.

 

[RUDisney]

My office still does a secret santa gift. Everyone who wants to participate would write their name and 3 recommended gifts on a paper and it would go in the "hat."

I participated in that for a while, but then thought that it was silly to have to buy a specified gift for someone whom I may not know very well. That was what the recommendations were for... the fact that the person may work in a remote corner and you don't know them well. For those whom you did know well, you could purchase "off-list." I'm still called a Scrooge every Christmas by the organizers because I don't participate anymore. It's probably been 5-years since I have, and I'm still a Scrooge.

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I have shut down on Christmas buying. I still buy all of my employees something. Currently, I have 9 employees, my boss, my former boss with whom I'm friends, the 2 receptionists who screen my calls and our divisional secretary and 2 girlfriends I have at work. So, Bah, Humbug to the secret santa. I'll buy for those whom I want and not those whom I don't necessarily know. We also buy for a charity that gives us a list of families who need help. We bought for 30-families last year in total.

So, my point is... don't feel pressured to buy for anyone or to contribute what you can't afford. Your coworkers are going to talk about you whether its about this topic or another one, so why fret over it?

 

[soccerchick]

We sent an email to everyone saying we all have our own families and our own charities we support this time of year and lets make this one less thing on our list. Everyone agreed and we haven't done it since!!

We do order a take out lunch the last day before Christmas - we all spend the afternoon eating and then we wish each other a Merry Christmas and head home for the holiday!

So much better this way....

I'm very close to doing this. We are a group of about 20 people. Some of them are more finanacially strapped than others, but none of us needs a darn thing. There are some people in my department that I don't respect professionally which burns my britches even more. What's even more ridiculous is that we have to fill out a "wish list" type sheet to give suggestions. If you don't know me well enough to buy a little someting for me w/o a cheat sheet, IMHO we shouldn't be doing this.

I'm all for getting together and eating and drinking. I just loathe the idea of a present too.

I suggested one year that the gift be $1 from the dollar store and the challenge would be to find something to fit our person, etc. etc. That got shot down immediately.

I would much rather use that $20 for Salvation Army Angel Tree or Toys for Tots. There are so many people in need that is seems absurd to add to our own materialism this way.

Just my 2 cents...DH tells me to suck it up and play nice ...

 

[RUDisney]

I'm very close to doing this. We are a group of about 20 people. Some of them are more finanacially strapped than others, but none of us needs a darn thing. There are some people in my department that I don't respect professionally which burns my britches even more. What's even more ridiculous is that we have to fill out a "wish list" type sheet to give suggestions. If you don't know me well enough to buy a little someting for me w/o a cheat sheet, IMHO we shouldn't be doing this.

Amen, amen and amen to what I highlighted!

 

[dani0622]

Great ideas all of them. I am liking the charity thing better, especially in light of all the tragedy in our country.

 

[princess momma]

I agree! I don't have enough to do around the holidays that I have to wonder what to get my co-workers, most of whom I really don't want anything to do with outside of work. And then there are the gifts they give me, things I don't need and don't know what to do with. How do you let people know you don't want them to get you a gift?

Last year I just made a bunch of cookies and put them in the breakroom, along with a signed holiday card. That was my Christmas present to everyone. It worked for me.

 

[dani0622]

Just to give everyone an update. So all of the women in my office decided to do a Secret Santa at $20.00 a person and you're on your own if you want to get the boss a gift. I decided not to do it and already had to endure several little snide comments which I completely ignored and didn't even acknowledge. I was going to still get each person a small ornament (they all celebrate xmas) or some homemade cookies but if the little comments continue, I'll nixie that idea.

 

[SC Minnie]

I am soooo glad my co-workers and I don't exchange gifts.

 

[Cindy B]

Amen, amen and amen to what I highlighted!

Double amen from me.

I'm so glad I am not working at my old job now.. I hated being pressured to pay $15 EACH for my boss.--who was making a six figure income while all of us support staff were making $6 an hour.. Why should I give him half a day salary when he makes a six figure income.

And no, he didn't give us a present either.

I said no last year.