Holding Back a 2nd Grader

[Aimee K]

With the tail end of the Florida school year fast approaching, my dd8 is most likely going to be retained in second grade for next year. The reasoning? She's behind in reading and writing. She is ahead of the curve is math and science, but struggles with reading. This is partly due to a late realization that she needed glasses, and I think has a little dyslexia. We're in the Florida school system and she's on a waiting list for LD testing, but in the meantime, they're pretty sure they're going to hold her back in second grade, and here's what gets me irate, is that her teacher is saying they want to hold her back now so that she doesn't fail the FCAT next year and get held back in third grade. I started researching grade retention and was SHOCKED to learn that 25,000 Florida third graders would be held back this year because of failing FCAT grades. Are they holding her back this year because ther's not enough room in third grade for her? I'm so frustrated I want to scream. My husband met with the teacher yesterday and refused to sign. Now I have to go in Friday. We are so willing to work with her, but I just don't know what the right course of action is. She's already older than a lot of kids in her class, and so smart in other areas, that I think holding her back would be devastating for her future love of learning.

Anyone else been through this?

Aimee K

 

[Buckalew11]

I haven't but I think if she IS struggling with reading then it would be wise to hold her back. In the third grade you are "reading to learn not learning to read". Third grade seems to be a big turning point in school. I am a big believer that you HAVE to be ready for it. If she has a year to catch up and nail down those reading skills, everything will be easy for her--from History to Math. Kids these days do a lot more word problems than I ever remember doing. Her reading skills and comprehension will be a big help to her.

I don't know about FL's testing so I may be way off base. I hope they are looking out for your DD's best interest and not because of overcrowding in a classroom.
As someone who read very well in school but didn't comprehend too well, I urge you to rethink your stance and look at this from other viewpoints. In the end, it may make all the difference in your DD's education and love of learning! Good luck!!!

 

[PlutoPony]

I can understanding a reluctance to retain a child unless absolutely necessary. Do you have any idea as to how far behind she is in reading and writing? Could she be tutored over the summer to get up to grade level? If she's further behind than that I'd seriously consider keeping her in 2nd grade. It seems like 1st and 2nd grade are when kids really MUST master the fundamentals of reading and writing, and if they don't have that by 3rd grade it's much more difficult to bring those skills up - they're covering ground at such a fast pace. Also next year her reading skills will begin to hold her back in math as "story problems" are introduced, and more writing is required in about all subjects. I doubt if they want to hold her back because there are too many kids in 3rd grade, they're probably concerned about her not getting thru that grade successfully.
Good luck to you - it's a difficult decision.....

 

[RitaZ.]

I recently read the policy on promotion for 3rd graders, it's a state mandated rule. Did you ask the teacher if there are any other options for your daughter, a private tutor? Any way to speed up the testing before the school year ends?

Good luck to you!

Here is the most recent update on the retention rule.

Third grade students in regular general education programs in Broward County Public Schools who were retained this year under the state's mandatory retention rule may be retained a second time in 3rd grade, if they were not previously retained in Kindergarten, 1st or 2nd grade. The state's mandatory retention rule requires students to meet state-specified promotion criteria to be promoted to 4th grade. If students do not meet the required academic level for promotion as indicated by the results of standardized tests (FCAT), they will be given several additional opportunities to meet the criteria.

This situation does not apply to students with disabilities who are exempt from taking the FCAT exam or who have already been retained once in Kindergarten through 3rd grade. For Limited English Proficient (LEP) students, a formal retention recommendation is made through a LEP committee.

Parents whose children were retained in 3rd grade this year should make it a point to speak with their children's teachers to determine how this state requirement may affect their children.

 

[mudnuri]

guess I dont understand why you wouldnt have her tested for a LD independently.

If my child was facing behing held back at 2nd grade, WITHOUT the testing- I'd do whatever needed to get the testing done, not wait for the "wait list" to clear for her.

one more question- how much time is spent on reading and writing at home- and at school?

Brandy

 

[CEDmom]

I have to agree with the other posters who say to really consider your decision very carefully. Her reading skills and comprehension are going to be challenged more and more with every passing grade if she has difficulty with that as so many children do it will effect every aspect of her school life. My mom is a reading specialist in Florida and she tells me how hard it is for some children that were promoted with the necessary skills. I understand your concern over your DD's immediate self esteem. It would concern me as well but in the long run having her repeat and get a handle on these areas will benefit her for the rest of her life. Good luck.

 

[DVC-Don]

Back when I was in 4th grade the school wanted to send me on to 5th grade. Problem was I was a border line student (D's and C's). My parents demanded I repeat 4th grade and the school reluctantly went along. From that time my grades were much better. (Mostly B's, and occassional C's and A's)

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

This is a tough call. how soon do you really have to make a decision? I truly, truly hope that the school is looking out for her best interests.

If you can buy yourself some time, I would also strongly urge independent testing. I would also look into summer school or independent tutoring. She may need them even if you ultimately decide to retain her--certainly, she doesn't need to lose ground during the summer months!

One of my Girl Scouts was retained for second grade. I truly think it was the best decision for her. She got a little breathing room. Each child is different, I have another scout who every year, they want to retain, but she won't (or mom won't, something). The independent testing will not only identify an LD, but they may be able to tell you if certain teaching techniques work best for your child. My DH has an LD, and he has certain things he does. he didn't learn to read until grade 4, and his IQ is 147! He now has a master's in engineering, so an LD is NOT a "death sentence".

Good luck. Have you talked to her? Does she feel like she's drowning? What are her thoughts?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

How far behind? If she cannot read at all then you have a problem.
You must find out the learning disability. Right now you are flying blind. Get her privately tested to find out her issues.
Remember the goal is to teach her to learn. She does need a solid base of reading to move forward.

 

[tinatark]

If your daughter does test positive for a LD - Florida has the McKay scholarship available - you can use the $$ the school system would have received and send her to a private school. That may be better for her in the long term. The scholarship remains in effect even if she is later no longer diagnosed with a LD. My DN was diagnosed with dyslexia in K/1, with the McKay scholarship she attended a great private school.

OTOH, if the reading problem is from an undiagnosed physical condition, I would think that tutoring would be a better move for her. While repeating 2nd grade could be great for getting her where she should be academically, I could imagine the stigma of *failing* 2nd grade would be with her for a long, long time. I remeber stuff from 1st grade still, and I'm 37.

 

[tinatark]

oops double post.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

No the same situation, exactly, but a tough decision.

When DS was finishing Kindergarten we were totally blindsided by his teacher. She suggested that we have him take the Gesell test because she thought he was immature for his age. How many mature 6 year olds have you met?

We consented to the test (which is for dating maturational age only, nothing academic) and of course he tested younger than his chronological age. The doctor who administered the test assured me that DS would NEVER catch up, he would ALWAYS be immature for his chronological age, and that we should have him do a "bridge" year after Kindergarten before first grade. Hmm. This was a private school that would gain an extra year of tuition out of me by doing this! Well, it was too late in the year to look for another private school, and if we refused the "bridge" year they wouldn't enroll him at all!

We did the bridge year. 8 kids in the class with a FABULOUS teacher. Then we moved to public school. Principal said to go ahead and enroll him in 2nd grade and see how he did, even though he hadn't technically been to first grade. He did FINE. We are now finishing third grade, which has also been FINE. He is a very solid low A/high B student. He scored perfect on the reading portion of the TAKS (the Texas FCAT). Still waiting on the math score. Math is his weak subject but he has a private tutor and she says he is right on track for fourth grade.

If you think your child can master the curriculum without being overly stressed then you should push for the promotion. I am SO glad we got back the year DS would have "lost" if he had gone from the bridge level on to first grade. Maybe he's not the most mature guy in the class, but he's not the LEAST mature, either! You know your child, and you know what will work best for her. Don't let the school bully you.

 

[teachingmyown]

How locked in to this school are you? I know several successful families who homeschooled for a year to focus on improving weaknesses without losing strengths and gained a lot of lost ground. Some continued homeschooling (loved it and didn't want to "go back") and others successfully re-entered institutional schools at the desired grade level. When you're homeschooling, "grade" is arbitrary. Just an option to consider...

 

[RadioNate]

I have two cousins. My mom is a 1st grade teacher and taught my cousin Johnny who she wanted retained. Johnny's mom consented so he repeted 1st grade. My cousin Kristen's teacher wanted to retain her after 3rd grade. My aunt and uncle refused. Kristen went on and did fine in 4th adn 5th grade. In JR High her grades started to fall and by highchool she was barely pulling D's and C's. Remedial and vocational programs at her very large public high school (nearly 2500 students) allowed her to barely graduate. She is 25 years old and has 2 or 3 years of college left. This is her 4th community college as she has flunked out of the 3 others.

It's not that she's dumb or doesn't try. She is just missing the basics and never caught up.

As for my cousin Johnny, after HS he joined the navy - after his 4 years were up he went to college got a degree and currently runs his own business.

I don't know what is best for your daughter but I agree with those that say weigh your options carefully. Good reading skills are essential in HS and college.. I also agree with getting her independently tested. Teachers get no pleasure from retaining children.

 

[diznygirl]

I met two of my best friends when they were held back in 2nd grade. As long as you can confirm there is a good reason to do it and it is indeed in your DD's best interests, then treat it as a positive step and make the best of it.

Good luck!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Tough decision! I would do what others have said--have her tested, even if you have to pay for the testing yourself (or battle your insurance company--been there, done that). That will give you a lot more information than you have now, by a non-biased person (at least in private testing). You'll find out if she has any LDs, any attention issues, and find out how she is doing in all subjects.

We had my 14yo DS tested several years ago. I really thought that he had some LDs, but does not. He does have ADHD and Tourette Syndrome (we already knew about the TS) and actually tested gifted in math, even though he struggled with it. It was good to have some answers.

I wouldn't agree or disagree to holding her back until after you have the testing.

I do think that it's difficult for the child to be held back, especially the older the child is. Of course you don't want her to continually struggle in school. One thing to keep in mind is if you hold her back, will it help her in school later? My 14yo is young for his grade and sometimes I wish that we'd waited a year to send him to school. Problem is, most of his issues he would have, anyway, even if he were a grade below what he is. His problems are a lack of organizational skills and the fact that he gets distracted so darn easy. An extra year wouldn't have helped these problems.

T&B

 

[suzannews]

Aimee K,

What school do your children go to in Kissimmee? My DD went to Highlands for K-2, then we moved to Clermont. I know a few families that got blindsided at the end of 2nd grade saying their kids might be held back. I believe the schools get money based on the FCAT scores and letter grade so I guess they will do whatever is needed to get a better score. Last year when DD was in 3rd grade, they had the kids so worried and pumped up about the FCAT saying if they failed, they would have to repeat the 3rd grade. My DD is a great student but not a great test taker and freaked out. I just calmly said to her, so we'll do the 3rd grade again, no big deal. What was I suppose to say, you have to pass or else. I didn't want to put anymore pressure on her. BTW, I don't know of any kids from her class last year that got held back and didn't go onto 4th grade this year.

 

[MinnieM3]

I have two things to cover here.....first of all, I've been a 3rd grade teacher for 15 years now. I have had one child in 15 years actually fail my third grade and one child for whom I recommended retention and the parents did agree. He went on to do very well.

I have had many children struggle in third grade, even with tutoring, and it was the beginning of the domino effect. Talk about self esteem going downhill! It's so sad to see this in those tough middle school years when school gets so tough!

I have never seen a parent regret holding a child back, but have seen many regret NOT holding a child back.

The thing is, now it's your *choice* to hold her back (if you decide to do so)...she's NOT failing. You're just giving her some extra time. This may help with the self esteem issue. You'd hate to move her on and then actually have her *fail* a future grade. It feels a lot better if it's your decision and not out of your hands.

That said, we are holding our 5 year old back in Kindergarten another year. He is an excellent reader and fabulous at math, but has trouble with his fine motor skills and is more immature (I know, silly word for a 5 year old) than his classmates. He has a July birthday and our cut off is August. He certainly is not "failing" kindergarten, but we feel that extra time now will pay off years from now.

Please keep us up to date and best wishes to you and your daughter.

 

[yeartolate]

I have never seen a parent regret holding a child back, but have seen many regret NOT holding a child back.

Although I am not a teacher, I have heard parents expressing the same sentiment.

 

[janette]

I wouldn't make the decision without the LD testing, you really need an answer for that. Be aware that dyslexic isn't always qualified as an LD, it depends on the gap shown in testing. Does your school have a dyslexia program? This is generally not a part of special education but to help students with dyslexia learn how to read with different methods. The gap between her reading / writing skills vs math are an indicator of dyslexia. Here is a site with some good general indicators http://www.dys-add.com/symptoms.html

How old is she according to the class? I'd also use that as part of your decision.

My 10yo DD is dyslexic and qualifies as LD, she was diagnosed in pre-school and was in a private school until mid 1st grade. When we transferred her into public school we did decide to delay her a year based on the school cut-off dates. She has a June Birthday & the cut-off was September so she'd have been one of the youngest in the older class instead of one of the oldest in her class. They told us at the time because of the LD she could be in the class based on her age but we felt that it wasn't worth the extra effort she'd have to put into all the other classes. Reading / Writing effects all subjects so it really does put them at a disadvantage.

There are no easy answers, don't let them pressure you into doing something you don't agree with. Look at the overall picture and make your decision on what is best for your DD.