Hold on tight to your kids!

[Lilsia]

When I was a kid in Disney World I was coming off a ride with my mother. She reached for my hand, and I reached for hers, but what she didn’t realize at first was that she actually took the hand of another nearby girl who had the same color hair as me, and THAT little girl’s mother took MY hand. They’d all gotten a few steps away before they realized their error. By your logic, my mother doesn’t love me, which is the absolute farthest thing from the truth. My parents are wonderful human beings and I’ve never questioned their love for me.

I’m sure you’re right that there are some parents who don’t put in the effort. But even then, tired stressed out parents make mistakes. Even parents who aren’t tired of stressed out make mistakes. I’ve never even come close to losing either of my kids but I don’t think it means I love my kids more than the next person. Nor do I assume I am flawless, or that it could never happen to me. Which is why I don’t judge people I don’t know for a mistake that may very well be a one-off HOLY CRAP moment. I mean if it’s a repeated thing then yeah there’s a problem but when I see a panicked parent searching for a child I don’t think, jeez they must not love that kid.

That is not what I said at all. But kudos for twisting everything around as per usual here. The post about the parents not loving their kids was about those who clearly have no care about where their child is or if they are OK. The ones that let their kids run freely, even if it is dangerous to do so. Nothing about your situation says that and you know it. Everyone gets tired, but it is like anything else, you have to make the decision to pay attention. Like I said, it is a lot of hard work to be focused all the time, but it is not impossible. You can do things to make it easier, like don't set your alarm for 6am to be at the park at rope drop so you are not so tired. People make a lot of bad choices and then blame it on everything but themselves. I know that people don't want to lose their kids, but in all situations, you can ask yourself, "what could I have done differently". And that is the point that I am making. All of these situations could be avoided in some way.

 

[Lilsia]

I left my first baby in the car once. We drove to the store, I thought my husband was getting her, he thought I was getting her, and we both started walking into the store intent on getting what we needed and getting out. We were about two steps into the store before we both looked at each other and were like "Where's the baby?!" and then we ran back out to the car. Until that moment I'd never realized how easy it could be to leave a child in the car. She was fine--it was maybe two minutes and she was asleep, but it scared me to death and after that we developed a system of 'make sure we have the baby/check in with the person dropping the kids off at daycare.'

Parents can be stupid. Kids can be stupid. Whenever we're out we established early on now that they're older "if I can't see you that's a problem" but my 8 year old at Disney kept insisting she was too old to hold hands and 'could keep up in a crowd on her own' and let me tell you how that didn't work out very often. But we'd also worked on 'if you get separated from us DO NOT MOVE FROM WHERE YOU ARE because I will come back there and look for you' and that worked well for us. But especially at Disney the crowds are awful and there are so many fun things to go look at. I love the Winnie the Pooh play area in line but man there are so many places you can lose sight of your kids as you also try to keep up with the line. It's like a constant symphony of parents yelling their kids names over and over there.

So yeah while I certainly have seen my share of awful Disney parents screaming at their kids or dragging them around, being separated from them or losing sight of them for a few minutes as they bolt isn't something I'm very parent-shame-y about.

That must have been scary. To be clear, I am not shaming anyone. I am just pointing out that, as you learned, there are things that parents can do to make sure that these things don't happen. If all parents are just a bit more diligent, so many tragedies could be avoided.

 

[DisneyMama811]

That is very interesting. I would think holding the child's hand would be acceptable and effective, also a bit of a comfort until their parent is found. I wonder if they coach them not to touch a lost child so as not to be accused of anything inappropriate. That's sad, but I could see that being the reason.

that's definitely the reason why. It's the same reason the wiggles don't hug their little fans or touch them at all in photo ops, if there's no physical contact it's a lot easier to avoid accusations

 

[nancipants]

My toddler is a runner and hates holding hands. I usually hold on to his shirt or shoulder when we are walking through a crowd, but he’s strong and sometimes breaks away. I wonder how many people have assumed I’m yelling at them to watch where they’re going, when I’m actually yelling at my toddler to watch where he’s walking.

 

[Lilsia]

My toddler is a runner and hates holding hands. I usually hold on to his shirt or shoulder when we are walking through a crowd, but he’s strong and sometimes breaks away. I wonder how many people have assumed I’m yelling at them to watch where they’re going, when I’m actually yelling at my toddler to watch where he’s walking.

Some kids are just runners at that age. I don't understand how they can be that fast. LOL These are the kids that the child leashes where made for.

 

[Princesca]

Some kids are just runners at that age. I don't understand how they can be that fast. LOL These are the kids that the child leashes where made for.

My child is SO fast. I don't even know how, because his head is in the >99% percentile and I don't see how he can be fast with a center of gravity that high. He also has a fondness for the open road, because every time he gets free he runs right for one. We got him a leash backpack.

 

[meremac]

This can happen to anyone, and the people who think it can't happen to them are lucky (and also wrong). Flash back to about a decade ago. DH was holding a spot for MSEP. I took the kids (DD3 and DD5 at the time) to the Swiss Family Treehouse. We get to the top and DD has a massive accident. I mean, shorts and socks and shoes, everything below the waist is soaked, and everything in her vicinity is soaked. We make our way down to tell a CM, warning people who are heading up that the massive puddle is not, in fact, water. We get to the bottom and DD falls. Skins her knee. So now I'm dealing with pee and blood. And a kid who has just had enough for the day and won't stop screaming. I am tending to her for a second, I turn around, and DS5 is gone. Gone in the crowd. We found him quickly (and I got lots of CM compliments from the customized temporary tattoos I'd put on both of their arms with my cell phone number on it), but it was terrifying. And folks, that's all it takes. IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE. Block out the judgy comments guys. You're not alone. And you're human.

 

[mickeymom629]

I haven't read all responses but, when my kids were little, I told them to stay where they are when they realize they can't find us. Many years ago, we were in Williamsburg with our 4 kids and extended family and realized, after going through 2 or 3 exhibits, that no one had my youngest who was about 3 or 4 at the time. We were frantic as we back-tracked our steps and called his name. Luckily we found him playing with a gate at the ironsmith barn (or something like that). He said he knew to stay where he was. I told my 5-year-old grandchildren the same on our recent trip to Disney. Luckily, we didn't lose them. I also told them they can tell a castmember if they are near one. If the kids are looking for you and you are looking for them, you may never cross paths!

 

[piccolopat]

You have to because of genie if you want to get on a ride. Fast pass+ you knew you had 3 rides planned.

Actually, no you don't. We just came back and didn't find that I had to be glued to my phone. Instead I used the alarm clock function to buzz me a couple of minutes before each Genie+ window would open for a next selection. I did a quick peek of the app to see what was next on my plans as we finished up a ride or show. Other than those time, my phone was in my bag unless I wanted to take a picture.

 

[sweetmama17]

It really takes 1 sec.
Changing 2 year olds diaper in the bathroom at cosmic rays. Put him down next to me to grab the backpack and he was gone. The line was so long that people were holding the door to the bathroom open. But not 1 person said a thing when I panicked and started looking around and under the stalls. Rush out of the bathroom and toward the crazy busy dining hall and found him walking back with a CM. Apparently he had run to the window to see "the castle". I was so frantic I pulled him from the CM and ran out. I'm so so grateful to that CM and I wish so much that I had been able to thank her or get her name to thank her but just wasn't in that mindset in the moment.

Also have to say I am a huge proponent of strollers at the parks for the under 5 crowd. There are huge crowds and contained and safe always wins.

 

[Beckabug]

When my kids were young, I set aside a “Disney Training Day”. I made lines out of jump ropes and taught them not to touch them. We pretended we watched a parade and then they would immediately jump up and grab my shirt and we would move slowly until I said we were “out of the crowds”. I placed a bunch of yummy snacks and toys in a section and they would have to ask me politely for an item, sometimes I said “no” and they had to reply “okay mommy”. We practiced what they were to do if they lost us. How to recognize a cast member. What to say to the cast member. My kids are grown now, and they still talk about how fun Disney training was! Prepare and train your kids. You won’t regret it!

 

[Beckabug]

Oh- also matching tshirts. Then it’s easy to know what they are wearing!

 

[MomDoc_99]

When our kids were little we had matching hats with orange balls sewn on top - and a tether pinning the hats to their shirts. Made finding them easy as long as they hadn't gotten too far away which they fortunately never did.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

My 2 year old once walked out of what was supposed to be a secure daycare and onto a busy roadway. I picked her up first and went to get her 4 year old sister who, at that moment, had a huge accident in the classroom. Poop and pee. I put the 2 year old over in the play area of the classroom and then I started trying to get the 4 year old cleaned up and it was so bad the teacher came over to help. I look up and the 2 year old is gone. I run out into the hallway, don't see her. I run downstairs to where her classroom was thinking that maybe she wandered down that way, she's not there.

As I am panicking screaming her name and running around another teacher comes walking up with her and says "I found her outside without a jacket in the road."

It was pickup time and the daycare had someone stationed at the door EXACTLY TO PREVENT THIS SORT OF THING but either wasn't paying attention or held the door for her thinking she was with another family.

So yeah, kids get lost at Disney where it's super crowded and it really can happen in an instant.

 

[Rory607]

I haven’t read all the responses, but this can easily happen to anyone. My youngest was a runner as a toddler and is is still easily distracted at age 8. I feel fortunate we never lost him at Disney. We always put him in the stroller going through the parks and crowded areas whenever possible when he was 5 and under. I felt better knowing he was buckled in and in front of us.

As far as Genie, this could be contributing to people being on their phones more and not paying attention. My suggestion is to put one adult in charge of Genie. I did it on our recent trip and that left my H free to watch the kids. This only works is the other adult is aware they’re in charge of the kids, lol! Discuss beforehand and don’t just assume they’re watching them.

 

[Scrapiegirl75]

When my kids were young, I set aside a “Disney Training Day”. I made lines out of jump ropes and taught them not to touch them. We pretended we watched a parade and then they would immediately jump up and grab my shirt and we would move slowly until I said we were “out of the crowds”. I placed a bunch of yummy snacks and toys in a section and they would have to ask me politely for an item, sometimes I said “no” and they had to reply “okay mommy”. We practiced what they were to do if they lost us. How to recognize a cast member. What to say to the cast member. My kids are grown now, and they still talk about how fun Disney training was! Prepare and train your kids. You won’t regret it!

Love this!

 

[Jhondy]

I lost my 2 yr old at Walmart the other day. It was the scarier 30 seconds of my life that felt much longer. She took off running in the clothes department and was taking lots of turns and she took one that I didn’t see her take. All of a sudden I couldn’t see her nor could hear her giggles. Walmart felt very quiet in that moment. Luckily, when she realized she didn’t know where I was, she stopped running and stayed where she was…which was like 10 feet away from me but I couldn’t see her over the clothes rack. My mind was racing so much when I didn’t know where she was trying to figure out what to do.

DD hates the stroller, hates a cart, and would never tolerate a leash. So I know I have to keep an eye on her but she isn’t usually a runner. This time I was looking at clothes and she was standing at the clothes rack next to me “looking” at clothes and in a split second she took off.

I only have the one kid and I feel like if I can lose her at Walmart, I totally get how parents can lose their kids at WDW especially if they have more than 1!

 

[Lilsia]

I lost my 2 yr old at Walmart the other day. It was the scarier 30 seconds of my life that felt much longer. She took off running in the clothes department and was taking lots of turns and she took one that I didn’t see her take. All of a sudden I couldn’t see her nor could hear her giggles. Walmart felt very quiet in that moment. Luckily, when she realized she didn’t know where I was, she stopped running and stayed where she was…which was like 10 feet away from me but I couldn’t see her over the clothes rack. My mind was racing so much when I didn’t know where she was trying to figure out what to do.

DD hates the stroller, hates a cart, and would never tolerate a leash. So I know I have to keep an eye on her but she isn’t usually a runner. This time I was looking at clothes and she was standing at the clothes rack next to me “looking” at clothes and in a split second she took off.

I only have the one kid and I feel like if I can lose her at Walmart, I totally get how parents can lose their kids at WDW especially if they have more than 1!

That is the age that they start running. 3 is a horrible age because they are especially naughty. LOL It sounds like, for her safety, she needs to be put in the cart or stroller. Small children don't have a say in it. You are the adult, you decide where they need to be safe. It is a battle of wills and she is winning. There are too many horrible people in this world now to let your child out of your sight.

 

[Jhondy]

That is the age that they start running. 3 is a horrible age because they are especially naughty. LOL It sounds like, for her safety, she needs to be put in the cart or stroller. Small children don't have a say in it. You are the adult, you decide where they need to be safe. It is a battle of wills and she is winning. There are too many horrible people in this world now to let your child out of your sight.

Thanks for the parenting advice, that I didn’t ask for, without knowing my child or how I parent at all. It’s amazing how many perfect parents are on the Internet and know exactly how I should parent. However, instead of your solution of just putting her in the cart, we use other techniques to teach her that she can walk when in public but has to stay close to me like using a handle on the side of the stroller for her to hold onto. At Disney, I allow her to walk as much as she wants. In all 5 trips that she has gone on when she could walk, I’ve never lost her nor has she run from me.

My point of my original post wasn’t about my needing help parenting but was that even attentive parents or with kids who usually aren’t runners there can be times they get lost unexpectedly.

 

[Lilsia]

Thanks for the parenting advice, that I didn’t ask for, without knowing my child or how I parent at all. It’s amazing how many perfect parents are on the Internet and know exactly how I should parent. However, instead of your solution of just putting her in the cart, we use other techniques to teach her that she can walk when in public but has to stay close to me like using a handle on the side of the stroller for her to hold onto. At Disney, I allow her to walk as much as she wants. In all 5 trips that she has gone on when she could walk, I’ve never lost her nor has she run from me.

My point of my original post wasn’t about my needing help parenting but was that even attentive parents or with kids who usually aren’t runners there can be times they get lost unexpectedly.

You don't have to take any advice, that is your prerogative. Hindsight is a heck of a teacher though. People have gone through this and have found what works, it is up to you if you want to listen to other's experience and take the advice. No one is born knowing how to parent and if you don't think that someone's advice is going to work for you, then move on. No need to get offended.