"Hoarding: Buried Alive" - Who has watched this show?

[C.Ann]

While unpacking here at the lake over the weekend, I had the tv on and quite a few episodes aired back to back.. After awhile, I couldn't help but sit down and watch - curious as to what causes this type of behavior.. It was very interesting to hear how it could be traced back to specific events in each persons life - usually due to some sort of "loss" and/or the need to hang to everything they could get their hands on in order to feel as though they had some kind of "control" over their lives..

Does anyone here watch this show on a regular basis? Do you know anyone who hoards to that degree? After seeing these episodes, I can think of several people who might be "borderline" and with just one more loss could easily topple over to the excessive hoarding as seen on this show..

I used to think that this was fairly typical of people who had lived through the depression - hanging on to things "just in case" - but now I see there are other reasons as well..

I love seeing when these folks finally make some progress in cleaning up their surroundings.. Anyone else find the show interesting?

 

[Mono~rail]

I watch it. I also watched the A&E version that came first. It is absolutely fascinating to see what hoarders do to themselves. They hoard as a way to control, but the irony is how out of control their life becomes.

 

[MIGrandma]

I've watched a few shows about hoarding, because the mess many of those people live in is also how my upstairs used to look (3 bedrooms, hallway, bathroom and stairs). It was embarrassing but it was too overwhelming to tackle. Then I saw a few shows about it, and how they say specific events contribute towards the behavior and I can pinpoint a specific event for me, when DH burned a lot of my high school memorabilia without asking me. Yes, a mouse had gotten into one of the boxes, which he saw from the "evidence" but a lot of it could have been salvaged. I don't think anyone, husband or not, should burn someone else's possessions without asking first.

I did get my upstairs cleaned. We had a situation where we needed to use the bedrooms so I forced myself to get started. Stairway first, then hallway, then bathroom/bedrooms. I couldn't believe the junk up there, most of it either got burned or thrown in the dumpster. There was some stuff good enough to donate to Goodwill too. It's so nice to have it clean, and I wouldn't be embarrassed for anyone to see it now.

But I do understand how it can happen.

My downstairs never got like that though, thankfully.

 

[C.Ann]

I've watched a few shows about hoarding, because the mess many of those people live in is also how my upstairs used to look (3 bedrooms, hallway, bathroom and stairs). It was embarrassing but it was too overwhelming to tackle. Then I saw a few shows about it, and how they say specific events contribute towards the behavior and I can pinpoint a specific event for me, when DH burned a lot of my high school memorabilia without asking me. Yes, a mouse had gotten into one of the boxes, which he saw from the "evidence" but a lot of it could have been salvaged. I don't think anyone, husband or not, should burn someone else's possessions without asking first.
I did get my upstairs cleaned. We had a situation where we needed to use the bedrooms so I forced myself to get started. Stairway first, then hallway, then bathroom/bedrooms. I couldn't believe the junk up there, most of it either got burned or thrown in the dumpster. There was some stuff good enough to donate to Goodwill too. It's so nice to have it clean, and I wouldn't be embarrassed for anyone to see it now.

But I do understand how it can happen.

My downstairs never got like that though, thankfully.

Bingo!! The part of your post that I bolded is exactly the type of "event" they talked about with several of these folks.. So basically, watching this show actually helped you, didn't it? That's great that you were able to do what needed to be done - and in exactly the manner in which it needs to be approached - a little at a time.. Otherwise, it's too overwhelming - and that's where many of these people get stuck..

It's really a fascinating show, isn't it?

 

[Handbag Lady]

My mom is a hoarder. Her physical situation started when my dad left her for a younger, slimmer, blonder woman.

But, upon talking to my mom, her issues started when she was little. Her mom had some case of crazy, and it really affected my mom as a child, which is one of the reasons why she may have spoiled my sister and myself a little. She remembers one time when her mom took my mom and her five siblings on a train from L.A. to Chicago and refused to feed them for 24 hours during the trip.

We've tried everything we can do to get her help. All we need is for her to take the one baby step to asking for help/recognizing there is an issue and she be swarmed by loved ones ready to assist.

The really odd thing is that when I was sick over Christmas break and had minor surgery, she "babysat" me for day while my husband worked. She kept asking me if I wanted her to clean my house, as she assumed all I did was clean all day to have a nice house.

 

[ZuZugal]

I only watched one episode, and these people knew they had "cats" but didn't know how many. Once the clean-up began, they found live cats, dead cats, newly-born cats, YIKES! ok, now that I think about it this was probably a show on animal planet about people with too many cats that were also hoarders. Nevertheless, it was totally unbelievable.

For me, when I get too much "clutter", I feel less in control, not more in control.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

I recently found out that I know hoarders who hoarder not only stuff but animals, its to the point that they sleep in their car because there house is over run by animals and stuff

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I only watched one episode, and these people knew they had "cats" but didn't know how many. Once the clean-up began, they found live cats, dead cats, newly-born cats, YIKES! ok, now that I think about it this was probably a show on animal planet about people with too many cats that were also hoarders. Nevertheless, it was totally unbelievable.

For me, when I get too much "clutter", I feel less in control, not more in control.

And a baby skunk! ewwww....

I have found one big difference in the shows. It seems those in buried alive are already in therapy. Just the way they talk and certain key phrases and words. The one on A&E seems more raw.

Sometimes I feel like our house is that bad but I know it's not. We are more of a Clean House family then a Hoarders family. But there are 6 of us living in an 1100 sq ft house with 2 bedrooms. We can't help but have a lot of stuff, there are a lot of us. LOL

 

[freckles and boo]

My mom's parents were what we considered "packrats". They were never unsanitary. Garbage went out, dishes were washed, and there were no problems with animals or pests. However, there was "stuff" in every room. You would have to move a box off the couch to sit. They were definitely products of the Great Depression. My grandfather was born in 1909. My grandmother was born ten years later and they were older when my mom was born. They held on to things.

 

[Mono~rail]

I only watched one episode, and these people knew they had "cats" but didn't know how many. Once the clean-up began, they found live cats, dead cats, newly-born cats, YIKES! ok, now that I think about it this was probably a show on animal planet about people with too many cats that were also hoarders. Nevertheless, it was totally unbelievable.

For me, when I get too much "clutter", I feel less in control, not more in control.

That was Hoarders on A&E. That was so sad.

 

[marypoppinswannabe]

I do watch this show and am fascinated by it, because we all tend to be packrats in my family. I clean the whole time I watch it.

By that same token, I exercise the whole time I watch the biggest loser.

Watching these two programs taught me something about myself. Show me the extreme of a behavior that I have tendencies in and it drives me to overcome that tendency. Glad I figured out what motivates me.

 

[C.Ann]

My mom is a hoarder. Her physical situation started when my dad left her for a younger, slimmer, blonder woman.

But, upon talking to my mom, her issues started when she was little. Her mom had some case of crazy, and it really affected my mom as a child, which is one of the reasons why she may have spoiled my sister and myself a little. She remembers one time when her mom took my mom and her five siblings on a train from L.A. to Chicago and refused to feed them for 24 hours during the trip.

We've tried everything we can do to get her help. All we need is for her to take the one baby step to asking for help/recognizing there is an issue and she be swarmed by loved ones ready to assist.

The really odd thing is that when I was sick over Christmas break and had minor surgery, she "babysat" me for day while my husband worked. She kept asking me if I wanted her to clean my house, as she assumed all I did was clean all day to have a nice house.

I see you live in CA.. Is this show filmed out there? If so, I wonder if you could contact one of the counselors/psychologists that appear on this show and get a session for your mom? Has she ever watched this show? Maybe if she did, it would "spark" something in her and she would accept help from her family..

I'm not surprised that your mom offered to "clean" for you - when her own home is totally out of control.. One of the women (hoarders) on the show this weekend was always dressed picture-perfect when she went to work each day.. Not a hair out of place; full make-up; beautiful business suits with matching shoes and accessories; etc. - and you would never, ever suspect the way that she was living..

The reason your mom could easily clean your home - but not her own - is obviously because it's just too overwhelming.. That has to be tough.. But there IS help out there.. The question is: How to get her to accept it? I think a good first step would be to have her sit down and watch that show with you.. (On the weekends, you can catch one show right after another for hours!) It would certainly be worth a shot, right?

 

[NikitaZee]

I watch the show - I'm fascinated by it. I have to admit though - sometimes I get angry at the hoarders. Last week they showed a mom and her daughter - and her daughter wanted so much to donate some of her own clothes that no longer fit - and the mom wouldn't let her. Her point was that she (the mom) paid for the clothes - but I think it was just not wanting to let the stuff go. My mind understands that it's a mental illness - but when this woman's 12-year old daughter was in tears over the state of the home she lived in, and the mom just couldn't move forward with cleaning it up, it bothered me. It's one of those shows that I think about long after it's over. I don't have anyone in my family that's like that - I think it would be hard for me to deal with compassionately.

 

[minkydog]

My mother has always been a "collector" of stuff, but it has really gotten out of hand since my step-dad died 7 years ago. Anything he ever touched has become a shrine. At this point she can use her kitchen, the family room, the two baths, and her bedroom. Those rooms are cluttered but in control. Her living room in waist high in books, papers, dead flower arrangements, music, pictures, et al. There is a rabbit trail from the front door to the hall. One guest room is completely crammed with stuff, also waist high. The other guest room is not too bad, the walls are lined with furniture and books so it's claustrophobic. but you can at least get on the bed. She and Dad turned the 4th bedroom into a sewing/craft room years ago. That room is almost inaccessible with stuff piled head high in places.

I think the place is atrocious, but I have to be careful. It's her stuff and it's precious to her.It's not my place to go in a clean house. She would be highly offended. I may see old videotapes that Dad made of TV shows, complete with commercials, but she sees something valuable. She thinks everything is valuable because it's old.

I watch Hoarders every MOnday night. Watching the show has really opened my mind. I used to get so out of sorts with Mom because she complains about the mess, but won't get off her butt and do anything about it. But I've come to see that it's so much more complicated. It's a mental illness. She can't bear to get rid of anything, unless she knows it's going to one of the kids and even then you have to promise on your life that nothing will happen to it. She has done that to my kids and i've had to remind her that a gift given with strings is no gift.

I hope my mom's house doesn't get bad to the degree that I see on TV. But it's definitely bad now and if it continues it will be a fire trap, if it's not already. I can no longer take my sonChristian over there because it's simply not safe for him. He is mentally handicapped and off-balance when he walks. All he'd need to do is trip or even just bump some of those piles and he could be buried in books and glass.

 

[Aisling]

Sometimes I feel like our house is that bad but I know it's not. We are more of a Clean House family then a Hoarders family. But there are 6 of us living in an 1100 sq ft house with 2 bedrooms. We can't help but have a lot of stuff, there are a lot of us. LOL

I think there's a big difference between having a house cluttered with a lot of stuff and a house where the person gets anxiety attacks over throwing things [crap] away. In your case I'd guess you just need a bigger house and then everything would be neat and in it's place.

 

[TwinsinCA]

I have only watched the A&E version. There are a few things about that show that really bother me, but I watch anyway.

First of all I hear the person with the problem often being told that nothing will get tossed unless they say it is ok. Yet they have an entire team of people cleaning out the place. Family members in other rooms are throwing things in garbage bags out of sight. You KNOW stuff is being tossed right and left, THEY know things are being tossed, yet their feelings are minimized. That really bothers me. I also think these people should be given more than two days. They need a push certainly, but I think two days is just not enough time to get through things in a way that will leave them with a sense of peace and closure. They are exhausted after two days like that. And my final gripe is that they need to contract with someone other than "Got Junk" to haul the belongings away. That just seems to rub salt in the wound more.

I really feel sorry for these people. I can't understand the hoarding of food and true garbage, but I do understand having a sentimental attachment to *things* - videotapes, stuffed animals, old books, etc. I don't have so many that my house looks like that, but I can relate to the feeling on some level.

 

[stardebby]

I watched this show for the first time last night. Maybe I'm a heartless person but,I can't understand how anyone could live like that.

 

[mykidslovesdisney]

I live in a cluttered house. I am not to the extreme or even close to the hoarders shown on these shows. We just have a lot of stuff that I have no clue what to do with. As my grandmother left her house, my mom moved to AZ, I was given soo much of their stuff. I am at the point where I can't stand all the clutter. We have been in this house for almost 17 yrs. We still have stuff in the basement that we kept 'in case' we need it. I have been telling DH that I am sick of all this stuff. I have been on a clean sweep lately to get rid of stuff. I hate to throw things in the garbage. I have been freecycling as much as I can.

I realize that this has been a hereditary issue. When my Grandfather passed away and we cleaned out the house to put it on the market ( grandma was moving in w/ my mom). We were blown away with the amount of stuff he saved. He had 50 gal drums in the basement full of toilet paper!! many of them. We realize that it was from the living thru the depression that is the way they lived. We had to careful go thru any thing we touched bc we never knew where we would find money. I found a pile of Christmas money holders in a bag in the garage - each one had $5 or $10 in it. My mom was the same way. I was the only child out of 6 that packed her up to move to AZ. I literally went thru each item in the house to see if she wanted it. We did manage to give away about 4 vans full to a church thrift store. My mom saved everything 'incase we needed it'. I guess I was just bought up with that in my heads so dh and I saved everything(well not everything but it certainly seems like it at times!)

My kitchen table for the life of me can never be completely cleaned off. I always have a pile of papers on one corner. It has always been that way. With 3 children in school the paperwork/homework is overwhelming. I have bins of my older boys schoolwork in the basement from preschool up to 5th grade. I have a goal to go thru it but not sure what to throw out?? Thinking of photographing them and putting it on a memory card (takes alot less space!) Has anyone never saved any school papers from their children??

It is true that I am overwhelmed at times on tackling the clutter. Our front and rear porch seem to be a catch all of everything and anything. DH does not work on cleaning clutter it is mainly left to me. I don't have time during the day w/ ds2 that no longer naps. We are also beginning to foster again in a month or so. I have little time on my own to work on cleaning the clutter.

Someday my house will be cluttered free but in the mean time I will be freecycling as much as possible!

 

[hereyago]

My DF"s mother was a hoarder in her shack-literally there were trails and stuff piled to the ceiling which I am sure held the house up. He however was not like that.

You can't blame hoarding on a gene. It is a learned behavior. OCD may be genetics, but not everyone in the family hoards.


Then when some people realize the mess, they just are at a loss of where to start. My neighbor is a hoarder, even her daughter's room stil have baby toys in it, she is 9. Their baby who is almost one sleeps in the living room why ? because what would be his room has stuff to the ceiling that they never use. Heaven help them if there is ever a fire.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I think there's a big difference between having a house cluttered with a lot of stuff and a house where the person gets anxiety attacks over throwing things [crap] away. In your case I'd guess you just need a bigger house and then everything would be neat and in it's place.

yep. we had a bigger house (3500 sq ft) when the boys were little, but we sold it and moved here after 9/11. DH lost his job the day we closed on this house. We had 4 rooms that we never used, we only went in to dust. Now we could use the space but we'd have lost the house anyway after the 9 month job loss.
Plus my parents live next door so that helps when the walls are closing in.

I bring a lot of stuff in but I also pitch stuff as well. I do a deep clean and toss about every 6 months. DH on the other hand has issues, especially with books and magazines. Which is ironic because he's never here.