Hmmm..

[zoemurr]

I agree with this 100% That is part of the reason I did not give teacher gifts this year. I don't want to give them something that I think they would like and just have them give it away.

Now I can't win either way.. some people say "just be quiet and regift it" and others say they would be upset if I give it away.

And to the poster that said "would I want my kids to post about gifts they didn't like?" I guess it depends how they went about it. If I spent $ on some toy and they played with it and thought it was dumb, then I would be fine with them telling others not to waste their $ on it. Also, if I picked something for all the kids in my class (let's say an Elmo book for instance) and they went home and said it was too babyish, I would want someone to tell me so I chose differently next year.

I hate to see people wasting money. To me, giving a teacher something that I know from experience they get too much of to ever use is wasteful. Why does that make me such a bad person?

 

[kehlyrsmom]

Well this year I bought the female teachers a winter dishtowel/ovenmit set (snowman or gingerbread man) and an assortment of xmas dish cloth, they are red, green and some solid and some are striped. Kohls had these and they were stacked with a bow tied around them. I thought if nothing else they could use them in the classromm the towel and dish clothes and the oven mit at home. I guess unless each child brings the same thing in to the teacher you could always use a nice fresh dish towel, or maybe not.

I gave the bus driver and my daughters male homeroom teacher a $10 gift card to Mernards and a box of candy. I wanted a $15 gift card to Mernards but all they had was the $10 or $25 was the next jump so that's why I added the box of candy.

 

[Tiger926]

Now I can't win either way.. some people say "just be quiet and regift it" and others say they would be upset if I give it away.

And to the poster that said "would I want my kids to post about gifts they didn't like?" I guess it depends how they went about it. If I spent $ on some toy and they played with it and thought it was dumb, then I would be fine with them telling others not to waste their $ on it. Also, if I picked something for all the kids in my class (let's say an Elmo book for instance) and they went home and said it was too babyish, I would want someone to tell me so I chose differently next year.

I hate to see people wasting money. To me, giving a teacher something that I know from experience they get too much of to ever use is wasteful. Why does that make me such a bad person?

This doesn't make you a bad person - that has nothing to do with it. The definition of a bad person in my book, is definitely not you.

It's just in bad taste and tacky, IMHO. This kind of thing to me, is tacky, and just perpetuates people being ungrateful. It sounds like you truly are trying to think of other people's financial situation moreso than their feelings. I understand that you are trying to help others in similar situations, but honestly, it's never the job of the recipient to teach others about the gift they gave. I really don't think this is ever ok...There are recovering alcoholics who get alcohol, those of us with asthma who get perfume, etc. and we don't go around telling people that it was not necessary or inappropriate to our lifestyle.

Again, a gift is a gesture from another and should be received in thanks, in most cases (there might be a few serious situations that I can't think of right now). Gift giving does not need to be turned into a lesson...That is not your job - your job is to say thanks, and do with the gifts as you will. When you post about those gifts, no matter that you thought you were doing so as a kind gesture, it doesn't come off that way, as you are criticizing and analyzing a gift that someone else gave you. That is not your job as a recipient...When you post about it, or discuss it in mixed company, you then make others analyze what they got teachers, and that is not cool. Especially in today's troubling economy - some people scrape together their pennies in order to show their appreciation to their teachers, so those gifts need to be appreciated, no matter if you don't like them or can't use them.

Tiger

 

[Crazy4Disney72]

I'm the asst. teacher at a preschool for kids with special needs. Here are the things I've gotten so far...box of homemade candy (I know what some say about homemade treats, and from some I might not eat them, but from this mom, we know her well and her stuff is DELICIOUS!), small wooden box painted by child filled with assorted hershey candy, gc to restaurant child saw me in once, store bought chocolate covered pretzels, box of store bought candy, DD gcs, B&BW gc, holiday special teacher kitchen towels, holiday hand towels with B&BW holiday soap, two sets of special hot chocolate.

I love and appreciate all of it. Most of it was accompanied by a note of thanks, and those are really cherished. If I personally ate all the treats I was given, I would gain 30lbs by January, but I appreciate having special treats to put out for my holiday company. My kids LOVE hot chocolate, so I could probably never get too much of that

 

[PrinceandPrincess]

My son has special needs, so he actually has 11 teachers, between his classroom teacher, the usual specialists (gym, art etc.) and then the specialists who come assist him, (reading, OT, para etc) I got each of them a 5.00 gift card to Dunkin donuts. I hope they won't think that is cheap, but I wanted to do something for everyone instead of just a bigger gift for the main classroom teacher.

 

[itradehilton]

As a teacher one year after too many "ceramic gifts" I decided to suggest that instead of a gift for the teacher students could donate a favorite book or game for rainy day recess. It was great my class had a good assortment of rainy day activities and I didn't get a lot of white elephant gifts.

 

[mbarone54]

Some more 2 cents:
In our family, we decide on a charity/hospital/organization that the teacher may have ties to (if not, we pick one that means something to us) and make a donation in that teacher's honor. As a "gift" to open, we wrap up a Travel First Aid Kit (found in the travel size section of Target) with a note on it that says something to the effect of "In lieu of a traditional Christmas gift, our family has chosen to remember those in need during this season of giving. In this manner, a donation has been made in your name to _____." (or something like that - the "official" write up (with clip art and all!) is on my computer downstairs.)

My daughter has been doing it since preschool and likes to try and match each teacher with an appropriate charity. I've had nothing but compliments from her previous teachers...

 

[howlongtillsummer?]

I am a teacher and just love everything that is given to me. The children enjoy doing it and I love to open the gifts on Christmas morning. I will then write each of them an individual thank you card.

But let me tell you a sad story. AS YOU CAN READ ABOVE THIS IS NOT ME SO NO FLAMES PLEASE.

I heard from a colleague that a teacher in a school at which she used to work hated the gifts she got. She reported that as soon as she children left the room she just bundled it all up and threw it in the bin!!!! She complained that the parents could not even organise themselves to club together for something "useful"

She didn't deserve the presents or her job with an attitude like that!

 

[BLAMBKY]

the gift was a small baggie filled with that shredded paper stuff, some candy and a cheese spreader (one of those cute holiday topped ones) with a note saying "just spreading some holiday cheer" - easy, cheap and well-liked but usable when serving dips and appetizers.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this idea! Thanks for sharing. I may just have to use it next year w/ my co workers. This year I gave Christmas music CDs on Dec. 1st that I had found for $2@. I received many Thanks and "great idea" comments. BEST part, starting off the season with giving!

 

[dismom2]

Me - can't stand Tim Horton's. Yuck!

For the record, I'm a teacher, and I do find these posts to be ungrateful. There is no need to teach parent's a lesson about what gifts to give, as that is tacky. It's just like here at home - we don't do wish lists or letters to Santa, as we find it unbecoming to ask for gifts. One should not ask for gifts, nor, feel the need to 'school' others on what gifts to purchase, IMHO. Even my 6 and 2 year old babes know this...
Just wondering if you would allow your kids or students to post on here about the gifts that you gifted to them and how much they didn't need those gifts?

If you don't care for the gifts, give them away, but please, don't mention to others how you don't want or need them. It makes all of us teachers seem ungrateful and unappreciative.
Tiger

This doesn't make you a bad person - that has nothing to do with it. The definition of a bad person in my book, is definitely not you.

It's just in bad taste and tacky, IMHO. This kind of thing to me, is tacky, and just perpetuates people being ungrateful. It sounds like you truly are trying to think of other people's financial situation moreso than their feelings. I understand that you are trying to help others in similar situations, but honestly, it's never the job of the recipient to teach others about the gift they gave. I really don't think this is ever ok...There are recovering alcoholics who get alcohol, those of us with asthma who get perfume, etc. and we don't go around telling people that it was not necessary or inappropriate to our lifestyle.

Again, a gift is a gesture from another and should be received in thanks, in most cases (there might be a few serious situations that I can't think of right now). Gift giving does not need to be turned into a lesson...That is not your job - your job is to say thanks, and do with the gifts as you will. When you post about those gifts, no matter that you thought you were doing so as a kind gesture, it doesn't come off that way, as you are criticizing and analyzing a gift that someone else gave you. That is not your job as a recipient...When you post about it, or discuss it in mixed company, you then make others analyze what they got teachers, and that is not cool. Especially in today's troubling economy - some people scrape together their pennies in order to show their appreciation to their teachers, so those gifts need to be appreciated, no matter if you don't like them or can't use them.

Tiger

Thank you for being honest. I think you worded this very well. I've always given my childrens' teachers gifts, but when I started reading these teacher/gift threads a few years ago, I admit that they really bothered me, and I have to say, I'm glad that etiquette is not taught in school by some of these teachers, as they could use a lesson themselves. Not all, but some. You sound like a great teacher, and you are teaching your children how to gracefully accept gifts the way all people should---thank you

Last year, the consensus from most of the teachers was that they only wanted gift cards. Well, as you can see now (there are several of these threads in various areas of this website), that is not good enough, either. Maybe it won't be good enough until cash is given. Geez.....

Perhaps a no-gift policy would be a good thing for all. If you really like a teacher, a letter is priceless.... or, should be

 

[mjkacmom]

Thank you for being honest. I think you worded this very well. I've always given my childrens' teachers gifts, but when I started reading these teacher/gift threads a few years ago, I admit that they really bothered me, and I have to say, I'm glad that etiquette is not taught in school by some of these teachers, as they could use a lesson themselves. Not all, but some. You sound like a great teacher, and you are teaching your children how to gracefully accept gifts the way all people should---thank you

Last year, the consensus from most of the teachers was that they only wanted gift cards. Well, as you can see now (there are several of these threads in various areas of this website), that is not good enough, either. Maybe it won't be good enough until cash is given. Geez.....

Perhaps a no-gift policy would be a good thing for all. If you really like a teacher, a letter is priceless.... or, should be

From these threads, I'm guessing 99.9% of teachers have stated that a hand written letter is the best gift to give. 99.9% (if not 100%) have stated they have graciously thanked students for gifts that they might not use. Until these threads, I seriously had NO IDEA that teachers get SO MANY mugs, candles, and body lotions, that there is no way they could use them all. THANK YOU FOR THE PSA! I am not a teacher, and would definitely be able to use a gc more than a coffee mug - there is no shame in admitting that. I love my childrens' teachers, and really do want to give them something useful, and would rather give a gc than a $2 candle I got on clearance last year.

 

[-Hope-]

To the OP, instead of giving away the Starbucks cards perhaps you could get some sweet treats to share with your class or leave in the teachers lounge. Bread sliced rolls go quite a long way.

When I taught public school I used to send a note in my newsletter stating "While I would never expect a gift I know that some students really like to get Christmas presents for their teacher. Please reassure them that the best gifts are hand made cards; these are truly a treasure. If they still feel they'd like to buy something then we always have needs for the class such as dry erase markers, a book for our library or markers for our art center."

Parents always seemed to appreciate the heads up on ideas (and the note saying that I don't expect anything so they could reassure their child it was okay) and while I still got a few chocolates and mugs we mostly received really useful classroom items.

 

[l_kelly]

Just wanted to throw this out there as another idea for a teacher gift. Every year I've been getting gift cards to "Donors Choose" for my kids teachers.

It's a web site where teachers in schools that don't have enough money can post their wish lists. The recipient of the gift card then gets to go on the Donors Choose web site and decide exactly where their money should go. I think they even get thank you notes from the class that they help. It's very gratifying and the teachers seem to really enjoy spending the money on other classrooms that don't have what they need.

Happy Holidays!
Lisa

 

[Bren's Mom]

Thankfully I have the wise expertise of my bff, a third grade teacher to guide me in giving teacher gifts! I gave my son's 3 prek teachers $10 gcs to Target (which is right by the school) and a little box of Whitman's chocolates (ds chose) and a handwritten thank you note for being so wonderful to my ds along with a copy of his school pic. So I think I did ok!

Having been at my bff's home and seeing ALL of the mugs, ornaments, teacher tchotchkes, and boxes and boxes and boxes of Ferrero Rocher chocolates I have alot of sympathy! She's very appreciative, but she's single with a small condo and is overweight. What does one expect her to do with all of these things! She donates the chocolate. And keeps a couple mugs per year. But she's got approx 25 kids each year and has been teaching for a long time now! LOL She does wish that the parents of her kids would just not waste their money and just tell her in their words or have the kids tell her what they appreciate about her and what she's doing right. So many teachers are only told when they're doing things wrong!

So, I get it. I get why the teachers get frustrated with the gifts and then get misunderstood when people think they're not grateful. My friend acknowledges each gift from her kids warmly and with genuine love for them. But that doesn't mean she has room for 17 new mugs!

 

[surfgirl]

thanks everyone for posting.

I don't think the OP lacks in etiquette... she IS appreciative and she clearly stated that a hand-written letter would be wonderful. She is sharing her experiences with us to help us make better decisions.

Our classes collect $$ and give the teachers cash. No visa cards to lose value, we usually get close to an even amount, so last year it was 2 $100 crisp bills. $100 bills don't get lost in cash flow shuffle, so it is special. I've personally seen the teacher's eyes light up when they see that.

We are also sending in a bag of hugs and kisses... Hershey hugs and kisses. We just get a little decorative box or bag and send them in. I honestly don't care if it they are eaten, tossed, or re-gifted. It is a nominal amount, but something that my kids like to do.

 

[Dis_Dreamin]

Our DD4 is going to a daycare and our baby boy is there as well. We are going out tonight to get gifts for all of the teachers there.

Since we know that many of the other parents send in candies and mugs and the like we are going to put together gift baskets (rubbermaid tubs) for their respective classrooms with basic supplies (kleenex, boogie wipes, hand sanitizer, small items like that) that they use in the rooms, perhaps some games or books as well. Then pitch in something small like some tea and cocoa or cookies for the teachers to share. That way they don't necessarily have to worry about taking yet another mug home and they have something that benefits the classroom setting as well.

(I use classroom and teacher since it's a Montessori based daycare)

Just a different slant on giving for teachers.

 

[jodifla]

I actually really do think the most useful gift for teachers is to pool together money for a gift card. That EVERYONE can use.

 

[momlee4]

This year at the kids' school, they're raising money to build a school in Africa! There was a presentation, and then all the kids were encouraged to donate to this fund in lieu of a Christmas gift to the teacher. I thought it was a fabulous idea!

 

[ebtbmom]

I just have to ask this, am I the only one that doesn't get the point in getting a teacher a gift? I do not do this, and certainly won't start since my son will be in 7th grade next year and have several teachers.

I guess I feel that they are doing their job by teaching my kid, they certainly aren't there on a volunteer basis. I feel that if you are going to give a gift then it should be to someone who is volunteering their time to be at school with the kids, like the mentors or reading coaches.

Maybe I think this because I'm a school nurse and I feel like it's a job and I don't deserve any special recognition. Believe me, if the paychecks stop coming, then I'll stop going!

 

[mjkacmom]

I just have to ask this, am I the only one that doesn't get the point in getting a teacher a gift? I do not do this, and certainly won't start since my son will be in 7th grade next year and have several teachers.

I guess I feel that they are doing their job by teaching my kid, they certainly aren't there on a volunteer basis. I feel that if you are going to give a gift then it should be to someone who is volunteering their time to be at school with the kids, like the mentors or reading coaches.

Maybe I think this because I'm a school nurse and I feel like it's a job and I don't deserve any special recognition. Believe me, if the paychecks stop coming, then I'll stop going!

I just heard on the news that teachers shell out an average of $500 for their classroom every year. Each of my children received a gift from their teachers. Teachers spend just as much time with my children as I do, and I'm grateful so have such wonderful educators in my childrens' lives. I give them christmas gifts because I appreciate them, and want them to know that (plus my kids give them a handwritten card).