Hmmm, this could be awkward.....

[disneymom3]

We are hiring someone to build a deck. My nephew is a builder, brick layer, over all handy guy. I had called to ask him if he would like to maybe do it, we would obviously pay him, etc. However, I was basically meaning sort of on the side, he would do it weekends when he had time, whatever. Figured we would just talk on the phone, I would tell him what we wanted, he would tell me what we would need to pay him. But he came over last week and did the whole formal measuring etc. Two of the guys who work for/with him came along etc. He is going to send me a bid in the mail and would be taking it on as a regular job. This is where it gets sticky.

I had a guy we were planning to hire if DN didn't want to do it. If DN comes in well above his price, I will need to go with the original guy. But that is a little strange feeling. I really don't want to tell DN that we are not hiring him, but I can't pay him more than the guy I already liked and whose bid is good.

I am probably worrying before the fact since I haven't even gotten the bid yet, but nonetheless I am still worrying about it.

How would you handle it if indeed his bid is higher?

 

[Castlebound]

Just tell him that you got a back up bid in case he couldn't do it, and you were very surprised to see that the back up bid was lower than his. Ask him if he is willing to lower his price. If he will not you will need to go with the other contractor.

 

[CapeCodTenor]

Just tell him that you got a back up bid in case he couldn't do it, and you were very surprised to see that the back up bid was lower than his. Ask him if he is willing to lower his price. If he will not you will need to go with the other contractor.

I was going to say the same thing. The back up bid was for the just-in-case-you-couldn't-do-it scenario.

 

[mickeyboat]

DH is a contractor, and he runs into similar situations from time to time.

You nephew is a professional, this is his work, just like everyone else who works. He might be willing to take jobs on the side, he might not. It's not fair to assume that he will do it on the side / lower his price because you are family. That is a huge imposition on his free time, and on the health of his business. DH does not do work on the side anymore. He has plenty of work to keep his business and our household afloat, and he values family time too much to work on weekends and evenings.

You might just be in a better position when it's all said and done to have the bid and contract in hand - whether it is with your nephew or another contactor. It protects both you and the contractor by spelling out all the contingencies of the job clear at the beginning. DH rarely does a job without a contract anymore.

But because your nephew is a professional, he must understand that customers, whether they are related or not, are going to solicit bids from other contractors. It would be foolish not to. He can't fault you for using another contractor if his bid is lower.

Just make sure that when he gives you his bid, that you are comparing apples to apples. If his bid is higher, it may be because he is providing a higher quality product. If so, talk to him about other alternatives, such as using different materials.

Good luck. I hope your deck turns out well.

Denae

 

[disneymom3]

Thanks. I like the back up offer concept. That is basically what we were doing so it is staightforward and honest.

Danae--I would not expect him to give me a discount, I was just in my head on the more casual side of things. This is a 22 yo kid we are talking about and I did not realize at the time that he even had people who worked for/with him. You bring up some very good points and it's really helpful to see the other side of the issue so thank you so much for posting. I appreciate it a lot.

 

[PaulaSue]

DH is a contractor, and he runs into similar situations from time to time.

You nephew is a professional, this is his work, just like everyone else who works. He might be willing to take jobs on the side, he might not. It's not fair to assume that he will do it on the side / lower his price because you are family. That is a huge imposition on his free time, and on the health of his business. DH does not do work on the side anymore. He has plenty of work to keep his business and our household afloat, and he values family time too much to work on weekends and evenings.

You might just be in a better position when it's all said and done to have the bid and contract in hand - whether it is with your nephew or another contactor. It protects both you and the contractor by spelling out all the contingencies of the job clear at the beginning. DH rarely does a job without a contract anymore.

But because your nephew is a professional, he must understand that customers, whether they are related or not, are going to solicit bids from other contractors. It would be foolish not to. He can't fault you for using another contractor if his bid is lower.

Just make sure that when he gives you his bid, that you are comparing apples to apples. If his bid is higher, it may be because he is providing a higher quality product. If so, talk to him about other alternatives, such as using different materials.

Good luck. I hope your deck turns out well.

Denae

I was kind of going to say the same thing. Why would he want to do it on the side and at a discount? Time is money.

 

[disneymom3]

I was kind of going to say the same thing. Why would he want to do it on the side and at a discount? Time is money.

I don't think I was very clear in what I was trying to say. He is young. Most young couples are struggling financially. At the time, I thought (assumed really as he used to but I haven't talked to him in awhile) that he worked for someone else. He has done some round the house kind of stuff for my mom in the past and she gave him money for his time. I was more thinking of this as I would rather pay him for his time than hire a stranger. I wasn't looking to get a discount, I just thought it may work to both of our advantages if I were to have him do the job instead of someone else. We had talked about DH doing some of it with him. (He just works too many hours to do it himself.) It really was much more about trying to help him financially and possibly saving myself a little cash along the way.

I am only worried about it if it comes in a lot higher than the other guy, but I have a way to deal with it now.

 

[DVCLiz]

Personally, I'd hire my nephew, even if it cost a little more. I wouldn't want to introduce family tension for a couple of hundred bucks, and I wouldn't want to put my nephew in the position of having to lose money to beat someone else.

If you must choose solely on cost, of course you have the right to make your own decision. I'd look at whether it's going to cost you anything in family harmony, though, before you decide.

Just my opinion!!

 

[Mermaid02]

Personally, I'd hire my nephew, even if it cost a little more. I wouldn't want to introduce family tension for a couple of hundred bucks, and I wouldn't want to put my nephew in the position of having to lose money to beat someone else.

If you must choose solely on cost, of course you have the right to make your own decision. I'd look at whether it's going to cost you anything in family harmony, though, before you decide.

Just my opinion!!

I have the opposite view- I would NOT hire family to keep family harmony! What if there's a problem? What if you don't like his work? What if what if what if. It's the same reason I won't let my kids have teachers that I am personal friends with. Business and family/friends are better kept separate.

 

[hydster]

As someone who has hired family to do work around our house I can definitely say I would NEVER do it again EVER!

My fil is a contractor and so when he was really slow we hired him to finish a bedroom in our basement. Well that was 3 years ago, we paid him in full and he said he'd come back and put the rest of the mouldings on and I'm still waiting for that day!

Also he did our garage build and once again dh paid him in full and it's not done either. I now have bad feelings towards him and everytime I see him I want to explode.


Hopefully it will all work out for you guys.

 

[FreshTressa]

I hired my brother once to do some work at my house. He did a crap job that fell apart 3 years later and did not clean up his mess.

Other than my dad, I won't hire family again.

 

[DVCLiz]

I certainly understand the issue of having family members do a poor job, but in this case the OP had already initiated contact with her nephew, in which case I'd still say I'd give him the job.

People who pay in full before they have a job completed to their satisfaction have made a choice to leave themselves no recourse when they aren't satisfied. I'd certainly have a contract - but I've never paid in full up front before, and I wouldn't work with a contractor, family or not, who made that a condition.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

I certainly understand the issue of having family members do a poor job, but in this case the OP had already initiated contact with her nephew, in which case I'd still say I'd give him the job.

People who pay in full before they have a job completed to their satisfaction have made a choice to leave themselves no recourse when they aren't satisfied. I'd certainly have a contract - but I've never paid in full up front before, and I wouldn't work with a contractor, family or not, who made that a condition.

i agree with this and DVCLiz previous post. Very good wording.

And OP thanks for clarifying b/c from your original post i too thought you were looking for a discount.