High school girl sent to office and told to put band aids on her nipples

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Actually girls can be much much worse about stuff like this

Yeah, as I mentioned in my prior comment:

Sometimes girls are harder on other girls than they are on boys too.

I mean have you heard what girls say sometimes to other girls? It's downright vicious at times.

99% of the comments that she had thrown at her were from other girls about how she was dressed, what boys she went with, etc.

 

[kaytieeldr]

And? NY is a very small piece of the US.

Fourth highest population. Size-wise, right around the middle.

The only problem I have with these arguments is that I think guidelines should go in both directions. So if everyone that says girls shouldn't have to wear a bra since guys don't have to agrees that a guy can wear a skirt as long a

Yes, I agree boys should be able to wear skirts.

Just in the 4 years that dd was in hs, the policy on piercings went from "none other than ears", to "must be able to be covered with clothing" and I think now they allow specific ones.

That sounds strange. Genitals and nipple piercings were acceptable, but not eyebrow, nose, tongue, or lip?

And just so you know, I was asked several times for a link then when I gave one, it was "only one" and was decided to be irrelevant because of other policies so please stop.

When someone claims "a lot" and then offers proof of a single (thing, incident, etc.), yes, that's only one. Unsure how irrelevance is being inferred.

Why are you hung up on distracting? I didn't say the girl was sent home or whatever happened because she was distracting. I said it was inappropriate and out of dress code.

Inappropriate in a few opinions here, and of course according to the school official who instigated. Not inappropriate to what appears to be the majority here. But Not. Out. of Dress. Code. at that school.

You know, we are happy with our schools and the rules. If we have a problem, we go to the administration or we go to the school board. We don't go to the media and act a fool. We expect our kids to dress with some sense and if they don't the school does.

There. Is. No. Rule. at that school requiring bras. Or undergarments.

Again, I find myself in need of an applauding emoji.

What about No, they're not applause, but...

Hair may not be dyed.

.
If this doesn't apply to all students, it's sexist and discriminatory

 

[soccerdad72]

If this doesn't apply to all students, it's sexist and discriminatory

Never bothered to look before now (I have two boys), but here is the policy for girls:

Hair - No highly unusual contemporary hair styles are permitted. Hair is expected to be neat and clean.
Unusual lines, shavings, "tails", steps or hanging bangs are not permitted. Hair may not be cut short
underneath and long on top. Hair may not be dyed any unnatural, odd, bright, or two-toned color.

 

[LSUmiss]

This was a private school.
Here is the court documents.

http://www.nzlii.org/nz/cases/NZHC/2014/1462.html

It mentions that:

in breach of the general law concerning protection of personal liberty and/or dignity;

in breach of s 14 of the New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1999(NZBORA);

I mean think about. Schools are banning facial hair on students but workplaces don’t.

That’s interesting. I’m not sure how that would play out here. Haven’t really weighed in too much about this debate as I don’t have much experience with the public school system here. But, I do think a private school should have the right to deny service to anyone who is in violation of their rules (however frivolous) for the most part.

 

[LSUmiss]

For all of you who feel the girls was at "fault". Do you think this would have been an issue at an all girls school? Nope. It is on the boys that had no respect for the girls who the fault should lie.

I am one who never thought or said it was the girl’s fault at all or that the school acting appropriately. But, I attended an all girls private school & they would have definitely sent the girl home or called the parent to bring what they deemed appropriate attire. The dress code was very strict, as were/are all/most of the private schools around here. Our skirts even had to be a certain length & there were no boys to be distracted. It wasn’t about that. Maybe you weren’t talking about a private school though.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Never bothered to look before now (I have two boys), but here is the policy for girls:

Yup. Discriminatory.

 

[LSUmiss]

Actually girls can be much much worse about stuff like this

I’ve been thinking that the whole time reading this thread. TBH, I probably would have been one to gossip about it back then.

 

[luvsJack]

Fourth highest population. Size-wise, right around the middle.

Yes, I agree boys should be able to wear skirts.

That sounds strange. Genitals and nipple piercings were acceptable, but not eyebrow, nose, tongue, or lip?

When someone claims "a lot" and then offers proof of a single (thing, incident, etc.), yes, that's only one. Unsure how irrelevance is being inferred.

Inappropriate in a few opinions here, and of course according to the school official who instigated. Not inappropriate to what appears to be the majority here. But Not. Out. of Dress. Code. at that school.

There. Is. No. Rule. at that school requiring bras. Or undergarments.

What about No, they're not applause, but...
.
If this doesn't apply to all students, it's sexist and discriminatory

I was asked for a link and I gave you one. If you want to find others, go for it. Besides that wasn’t your argument about it then. You went off on the paddling thing.

Yes because they don’t routinely look under anyone’s clothing for piercings?? That comment doesn’t even make sense. Those types of piercings weren’t known to the school officials BEFORE it was addressed in the dress code. Actually now they allow the small nose rings and pierced eyebrows. Not sure what else.

If you will please bother to read what the pp and I were discussing it wasn’t the girl in the op. The girl I was talking about at that time was very much in violation. Same with your second comment stating the same thing.

But either way, it doesn’t matter what the majority here thinks of what is appropriate, what matters is what the school decided. You nor I actually get a vote.

 

[luvsJack]

Yeah, as I mentioned in my prior comment:

Was just agreeing with you.

Dd and I were talking about something that happened when she was in high school. It was actually choir practice but one of the girls came in from soccer practice. She was wet with sweat and then came in the ac so was cold. She had on a thin white T-shirt and a sports bra with no padding. The girls in choir were all a twitter about the girl’s appearance and the ones not talking about it were telling the others to hush. The boys didn’t seem to even notice. But dd said what most were saying is how embarrassed they would be and asking if someone should tell her. One of the older girls got up and went to the choir closet and grabbed an oversize choir T-shirt’s she gave it to the girl and said “I know you are freezing”.

Now I don’t know if the girl realized or not or whether it bothered her or not. And not saying it should have. Just pointing out it wasn’t the boys that were distracted. It was the girls either by discussing it or by telling others they shouldn’t be discussing it.

 

[mom2rtk]

Fourth highest population. Size-wise, right around the middle.

And? Nobody was ranking anything. Still a small minority of the country.

 

[luvsJack]

Thwre has been a lot said here about blind compliance and what is or isn’t the school’s job vs a parent’s job.

I don’t think anyone here has said anyone should just blindly comply with anything. I don’t know about others but my kids were taught if you don’t agree with a rule then you work toward changing it. But in the meantime you follow said rule. Petitions, parent/student groups, going to the school board are all ways to change a rule. But every rule isn’t worth fighting.

But otoh, imo, we all comply with rules, laws, society norms, the norms of our peers, etc. Some of you live in places where the number of cars in your driveway is limited or you can’t cut down a tree making a mess in your yard or there is a rule about your garbage can. You are complying. Why are any of you so against your teens learning that sometimes you do just have to comply with rules?

As far as parenting, I am sure all school administrators would be thrilled if all their students were parented, taught right from wrong and appropriate behavior and yes how to dress appropriately for school and other things in their lives. But that isn’t reality. They can just pick certain kids for certain rules so they have to make them for all of them.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

Thwre has been a lot said here about blind compliance and what is or isn’t the school’s job vs a parent’s job.

I don’t think anyone here has said anyone should just blindly comply with anything. I don’t know about others but my kids were taught if you don’t agree with a rule then you work toward changing it. But in the meantime you follow said rule. Petitions, parent/student groups, going to the school board are all ways to change a rule. But every rule isn’t worth fighting.

But otoh, imo, we all comply with rules, laws, society norms, the norms of our peers, etc. Some of you live in places where the number of cars in your driveway is limited or you can’t cut down a tree making a mess in your yard or there is a rule about your garbage can. You are complying. Why are any of you so against your teens learning that sometimes you do just have to comply with rules?

As far as parenting, I am sure all school administrators would be thrilled if all their students were parented, taught right from wrong and appropriate behavior and yes how to dress appropriately for school and other things in their lives. But that isn’t reality. They can just pick certain kids for certain rules so they have to make them for all of them.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I was asked for a link and I gave you one. If you want to find others, go for it. Besides that wasn’t your argument about it then. You went off on the paddling thing.

i believe, if you go back and read, the request was for links. Plural. One single link simply can't support a claim of "a lot" of anything.

Yes because they don’t routinely look under anyone’s clothing for piercings?? That comment doesn’t even make sense. Those types of piercings weren’t known to the school officials BEFORE it was addressed in the dress code. Actually now they allow the small nose rings and pierced eyebrows. Not sure what else.

The dress code cited required non-ear piercings to be covered by clothing. Other facial piercings can't be covered by clothing. I wasn't aware until this quoted statement that people pierced places like shoulders - courtesy of Google.

If you will please bother to read what the pp and I were discussing it wasn’t the girl in the op. The girl I was talking about at that time was very much in violation. Same with your second comment stating the same thing.

Perhaps start a different thread to discuss other than Ms. Rodriguez. In the meantime, I decline to change my settings to accommodate wandering conversations.

 

[luvsJack]

i believe, if you go back and read, the request was for links. Plural. One single link simply can't support a claim of "a lot" of anything.

The dress code cited required non-ear piercings to be covered by clothing. Other facial piercings can't be covered by clothing. I wasn't aware until this quoted statement that people pierced places like shoulders - courtesy of Google.

Perhaps start a different thread to discuss other than Ms. Rodriguez. In the meantime, I decline to change my settings to accommodate wandering conversations.

Lol but it’s fine for you to discuss paddling. Ok. I am far from the only one not discussing the same girl. So please feel free not to read anything you don’t want to know the subject of.

Again, if you would like to find other links you are more than free to do so. Most of the area schools read the same or similar to the one I linked. I have no idea if they paddle too.

I was talking about the way the dress code changes. At one time boys could not have any, girls only their ears. Then it went to none that cannot be covered with clothing. You asked a ridiculous question about nipple and other piercings. They wouldn’t know about those and they aren’t going to go hunting them. But I believe they were mostly referring to belly button piercings. (By the way this is ALSO not about the girl in the op so you may not want to read or make sure you don’t discuss it).

 

[mummabear]

That’s interesting. I’m not sure how that would play out here. Haven’t really weighed in too much about this debate as I don’t have much experience with the public school system here. But, I do think a private school should have the right to deny service to anyone who is in violation of their rules (however frivolous) for the most part.

Private a schools cannot have rules that are unlawful however. Which is what was ruled in this case.

in the meantime you follow said rule. Petitions, parent/student groups, going to the school board are all ways to change a rule. But every rule isn’t worth fighting.

Protesting is a way of changing the rules. It is how my fathers generation banished uniforms from public schools in Montreal in the 50s.
And it’s how these boys changed their school dress codes:

https://www.google.co.nz/amp/s/amp....ts-to-school-protest-no-shorts-uniform-policy

 

[powellrj]

Let me start by saying I am old enough to remember when girls had to wear dresses to school in the 60’s. By the time I got to jr high in the late 60’s we were allowed to wear pants. Girls went from dresses to hip huggers over night. Talk about distracting, a belly shirt with hip huggers was pretty distracting.

By the time my kids went to school they had dress codes, but nothing like they are now. Our local school went to uniforms about 12 years ago and slowly cut back each year until they finally threw Uniforms away and went back to dress code. My Dd is about to graduate from an evangelical Christian college and they didn’t even have a dress code and the kids all dressed without everything on display.

I think sometimes when you are really strict, you will have kids that will see how far they can push the limits.

 

[sk!mom]

Was just agreeing with you.

Dd and I were talking about something that happened when she was in high school. It was actually choir practice but one of the girls came in from soccer practice. She was wet with sweat and then came in the ac so was cold. She had on a thin white T-shirt and a sports bra with no padding. The girls in choir were all a twitter about the girl’s appearance and the ones not talking about it were telling the others to hush. The boys didn’t seem to even notice. But dd said what most were saying is how embarrassed they would be and asking if someone should tell her. One of the older girls got up and went to the choir closet and grabbed an oversize choir T-shirt’s she gave it to the girl and said “I know you are freezing”.

Now I don’t know if the girl realized or not or whether it bothered her or not. And not saying it should have. Just pointing out it wasn’t the boys that were distracted. It was the girls either by discussing it or by telling others they shouldn’t be discussing it.

But again, the young lady wasn't doing anything wrong. Those who were "distracted" should have managed their own behavior.

 

[luvsJack]

But again, the young lady wasn't doing anything wrong. Those who were "distracted" should have managed their own behavior.

Not saying you are wrong but if she had been in dress code violation, BOTH would have been in the wrong.

The older girl getting the tshirt for her would have solved any dress code violation, but she did it so the girl would not be embarrassed.

My point was that everyone assumes when they say “distraction” it’s automatically meant that the boys are distracted when that isn’t always the case.

 

[luvsJack]

Private a schools cannot have rules that are unlawful however. Which is what was ruled in this case.



Protesting is a way of changing the rules. It is how my fathers generation banished uniforms from public schools in Montreal in the 50s.
And it’s how these boys changed their school dress codes:

https://www.google.co.nz/amp/s/amp....ts-to-school-protest-no-shorts-uniform-policy

Wonderful! And if you are fine with your kids protesting more power to you. Like I said before my nephew did it about boys wearing earrings. But for my kids they learned to fight it in a different manner.

 

[Hikergirl]

Wasn't there a thread recently where some p

This above, about the idea that in part, school dress codes might be about teaching that compliance with rules is sometimes required in life.

This thread has been quite eye opening!

And a great source of belly laughs. Thanks all!!

I'm SMH here too. Is a school having a dress code that big of a deal to some parents?
I guess I never thought so deeply about it, seems pretty much common sense that a school, or a place of business sets some rules about what goes on IN their buildings by the people who are representing them while there. And for those who are under their authority and care while there, which includes all those minor children in the school.
How they go about enforcing that may be questionable at times, but on the whole a dress code is not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme or things.