Hi, my name's Wendy Whiner

[AndreaDM]

This happens at least once a week with my DH, and he's usually at VERY upscale swanky places while I'm eating leftovers. It used to bug me, but now I use those nights to catch up on tv that I want to watch alone. In fact when we came home at 8 last night I looked up and said, "O, you're home already?". He would never bring me anything home either, wouldn't look right on the company dime.

 

[minkydog]

Anyway--I do know that, at least in the culture my husband works in, he really cannot bring home an item from a work dinner without it being frowned upon--like the person wants the company to pay for food for the wife or some such. SO maybe that is why he didn't bring you anything?

Now--where he messed up your girls' night out and then didn't do anything either. Well, there is no excuse for that

What, they don't have a piece of cake in your grocery store? No Nutty Buddys at the 7-11? He couldn't at least stop and buy a Hershey bar? Man, he is sooo busted...

 

[bored]

Perhaps you should thank him for working so you can stay home and do the things your whining about!

 

[minkydog]

Perhaps you should thank him for working so you can stay home and do the things your whining about!

And this means, what? That she's *not* working? I'm pretty sure you didn't mean it that way(at least, I hope not.) That would open a whole 'nother can of worms.

 

[Belle0101]

And this means, what? That she's *not* working? I'm pretty sure you didn't mean it that way(at least, I hope not.) That would open a whole 'nother can of worms.

Yeah, I'm hoping not too because I'm not sitting here eating bon bons and watching soaps.

 

[tinkermom23]

Perhaps you should thank him for working so you can stay home and do the things your whining about!

Thank you, Dear, for going to your Wage-paying job today, where you were also treated to a fabulous dinner with adult conversation. I don't mind staying home, raising our beautiful children, even when they are sick and need constant care, and the Mac & cheese is really one of my favorite foods, as you know. And thank you for thinking of me & my diet by not stopping to get me a treat on your way home, you are ever so thoughtful!
When I had a spare moment today, I did pick up your dirty socks you left in the living room. Thank you for giving me something to do as you know I hate to turn on the TV or computer, it is such a waste of time. I much prefer taking care of you. Besides, who really needs a shower daily.


I don't mind at all that you sabotaged my time with the girls last night, I know that you are my first priority. After all, without you, your children and I would be living in a box, eating scraps. So thank you, for working so hard so we can have electricity and mac & cheese.
Your the greatest!! Please forgive me for being so selfish, I won't whine ever again.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Your Loving Wife,
Wendy

 

[wvjules]

Thank you, Dear, for going to your Wage-paying job today, where you were also treated to a fabulous dinner with adult conversation. I don't mind staying home, raising our beautiful children, even when they are sick and need constant care, and the Mac & cheese is really one of my favorite foods, as you know. Besides, who really needs a shower daily.

When I had a spare moment today, I did pick up your dirty socks you left in the living room. Thank you for giving me something to do as you know I hate to turn on the TV or computer, it is such a waste of time. I much prefer taking care of you.

I don't mind at all that you sabotaged my time with the girls last night, I know that you are my first priority. After all, without you, your children and I would be living in a box, eating scraps. So thank you, for working so hard so we can have electricity and mac & cheese.
Your the greatest!! Please forgive me for being so selfish, I won't whine ever again.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Your Loving Wife,
Wendy

I really don't understand SAH's that say they don't even have time to shower. That baffles me.

I wouldn't expect my DH to bring me home something from his work dinner.

If I wanted daily adult conversation, I'd not choose to be a SAHP.

The SAHP, IMO, should be the one cleaning the house and doing most of the chores. The house and children is their job.

That is all. Flame retardent suit on.

 

[Promomx2]

Whine away!!! I have always wished someone would start conventions for us "stay at home mom". So we could go to conferences, lectures, pool, seminars, dinners out, discussion groups.

wvjules: wish you could trade places with a sahm for a week and then comment.

 

[wvjules]

Whine away!!! I have always wished someone would start conventions for us "stay at home mom". So we could go to conferences, lectures, pool, seminars, dinners out, discussion groups.

wvjules: wish you could trade places with a sahm for a week and then comment.

I was unemployed for a year so I was technically a SAHM during that time.

ETA: I don't think leaving socks, dishes or messes for the SAHP is right. But keeping the house clean, in general, should be the job of the SAHP.

 

[Heidict]

Perhaps you should thank him for working so you can stay home and do the things your whining about!

Yes, that's right. Because we all know a woman's place is in the home. How dare she think that her DH could be considerate or at least think of others besides himself once in a while.

It is her birthright to sit at home, raising the kids and serving the Dh with a big ole smile on her face. She is not allowed to complain or have a weak moment. Instead, she should be grateful for every crumb he gives her.

OP, I don't blame you for being aggravated. The least he could have done is help you with your son instead of pouring his lazy behind into bed at 8.30pm. I'm sure he works hard, but so do you.

Last night, blowing off a family/couple thing and preventing your from girls night. Oh, he would still be smarting from that one. Please tell me he was at least apologetic.

 

[tinkermom23]

I was unemployed for a year so I was technically a SAHM during that time.

ETA: I don't think leaving socks, dishes or messes for the SAHP is right. But keeping the house clean, in general, should be the job of the SAHP.

This isn't so much about who works harder; SAH or Working out of the Home... This, IMHO, is about respect and appreciation for your spouse.
DH comes home some days very tired. Yeah, those days I expect him to be less helpful with the kids ect... but there are days that I have a lot of extras going on too, (not coffee with a friend either!) and I expect a little more out of him, which would not include crawling his butt into bed early!!

DH & I are in this together, we are a team, and the kids are ours together which means he contributes what he can. We don't count beans-who gets more free/fun time, we try to look out for each other. It's not "what's in it for me today?" it's "What can I do for the person I married, to make their day better."

 

[Belle0101]

I wanted to clear up a misconception about the work dinner. Any misconceptions are my fault for not giving the full story. I wasn't sure how it would be taken but given the turn this thread has taken it may help shed some extra light on the situation.

The dinner was the result of DH coming in 1st place in a contest at his work. He's in sales and it required selling above the goal the company set for you. The person who sold the highest percentage over their goal was the winner. The prize was dinner with the immediate supervisor, his wife, self and a guest. He got to pick the place and it was casual. The second place person won nothing.

When DH found out he won 1st he asked who won 2nd. It was his DS28, my step-son. DH told me he felt bad that DS28 didn't win anything because it was a really close contest. Up until 2 days before DS28 actually was in the lead. DH said he was going to ask "Boss" if DS28 couldn't be awarded something. Nice guy. Thinking of his son and fellow employee like that.

DH picked Outback. Never asked my opinion on where I might like to go. At that point I was still thinking I was going to be the guest.

DH would comment how son had worked really hard and wasn't getting recognized. He mentioned it so much that I started thinking, "Hm, maybe he wants DS28 to be the guest."

I asked him if he asked "Boss" about DS28 being recognized. No he decided it wouldn't be appropiate to ask. But again mentioned how he wasn't getting recognized. Finally I just asked if he would prefer that DS28 was the guest instead of me.

That's exactly what he wanted. He just didn't want to be the one to bring it up. So, I gave up another night out. Remember, I gave up my night out with my friends the night before because DH wanted to do something and then "forgot".

So yeah, I did feel sorry for myself. I had given up 2 nights out for other people and nobody said thanks or even brought me a 75cent candy bar from the 7-11. At the very least, the very least, I feel I deserved a thank-you but instead I got mac 'n cheese, 2 sick kids to take care and a DH who was in bed by 8:30PM.

 

[NHdisneylover]

What, they don't have a piece of cake in your grocery store? No Nutty Buddys at the 7-11? He couldn't at least stop and buy a Hershey bar? Man, he is sooo busted...

In MY situation (not the OPs as she has now described it?). Most stores (meaning pretty much everything BUT gas stations) would be closed by the time DH would be driving home from a late dinner (this was true in rural New Hampshire where we used to live as well) and honestly I miss him and would MUCH prefer he get home 10 minutes sooner than stop to pick me up a candy bar. If I need candy bars so badly I buy myself a handful at the grocery sore when I do the shopping.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

OP, you need a sister wife...LOL Just kidding...

I am surprised that the company wouldn't invite the spouse along since it was an award dinner.

 

[NHdisneylover]

OP, you need a sister wife...LOL Just kidding...

I am surprised that the company wouldn't invite the spouse along since it was an award dinner.

The way I read it the company let her husband choose a guest (and he majority of people would bring a spouse or significant other if there was one) but her husband wanted to take his son as the guest and not her.

 

[AndreaDM]

Ok, I'm just chuckling about all the fuss over Outback. And I do think it was nice of your husband to want to recognize his son that way. Sure, his sorry *** should have helped you with the sick kids and he deserves a kick in the rear for that, but I wouldn't get all bent out of shape over the dinner.

 

[wvjules]

I wanted to clear up a misconception about the work dinner. Any misconceptions are my fault for not giving the full story. I wasn't sure how it would be taken but given the turn this thread has taken it may help shed some extra light on the situation.

The dinner was the result of DH coming in 1st place in a contest at his work. He's in sales and it required selling above the goal the company set for you. The person who sold the highest percentage over their goal was the winner. The prize was dinner with the immediate supervisor, his wife, self and a guest. He got to pick the place and it was casual. The second place person won nothing.

When DH found out he won 1st he asked who won 2nd. It was his DS28, my step-son. DH told me he felt bad that DS28 didn't win anything because it was a really close contest. Up until 2 days before DS28 actually was in the lead. DH said he was going to ask "Boss" if DS28 couldn't be awarded something. Nice guy. Thinking of his son and fellow employee like that.

DH picked Outback. Never asked my opinion on where I might like to go. At that point I was still thinking I was going to be the guest.

DH would comment how son had worked really hard and wasn't getting recognized. He mentioned it so much that I started thinking, "Hm, maybe he wants DS28 to be the guest."

I asked him if he asked "Boss" about DS28 being recognized. No he decided it wouldn't be appropiate to ask. But again mentioned how he wasn't getting recognized. Finally I just asked if he would prefer that DS28 was the guest instead of me.

That's exactly what he wanted. He just didn't want to be the one to bring it up. So, I gave up another night out. Remember, I gave up my night out with my friends the night before because DH wanted to do something and then "forgot".
So yeah, I did feel sorry for myself. I had given up 2 nights out for other people and nobody said thanks or even brought me a 75cent candy bar from the 7-11. At the very least, the very least, I feel I deserved a thank-you but instead I got mac 'n cheese, 2 sick kids to take care and a DH who was in bed by 8:30PM.

Did you remind him that you two were supposed to do something earlier in the evening?

If my DH got me a candy bar at the 7-11 on his way home from a dinner out, I'd be annoyed (not sure if that is the word I'm searching for or not.)

 

[disneyquestions]

Tell that boy to bring you home a bloomin onion! Or... can't you call for take out? I would get myself some good Italian take out. Infact, I'll be working late - again - so I think I WILL do that! LOL Don't feel bad about feeling sorry for yourself, it happens to the best of us. Didn't you know that being a door mat came with the job discription of being a mom and wife?!?!?!?!