Raulandpinboy
<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2001
- Messages
- 1,705
Yes at the event but mean Laureen told me since you didn't email or call me to find out which pin you won that you don't get it, but that she does.... hmmm I don't know sounds fishy.
Anyway guess what you won that you wont get because Lauri wants it.
Sorry she has a bigger edit button than you do.
Unlessssssss you fight her to the death in a giant bowl of salsa dip... then its yours.
but if you win I'll only send it to you if you submit a picture of yourself since everybody at the event said
nobody's ever really seen you or knows what you look like
hmmmmmm
My hope is that you are a fiery redhead able to leap tall buildings with a single pin. And can defeat mean Laureen in the salsa and get me that well deserved edit button I so long for.
<<<<<<Flash>>>>>>>
Good evening MR. And Mrs. America and all the ships at sea beep beep beep beep
This just in I was told that Mean Laureen is sad and it's my job to cheer her up.... can I get fired no!!!! darn it.
So here we go kids.
Redhead jokes
Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A: Say something
Q: What do you call a redhead walking between two blondes?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: redhead won't accept a three and a half inch floppy !
Q: What's the Redhead Dating Motto?
A: The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
Q: What do redheads and McDonald's have in common?
A: You've never had it so good and so fast.
Q: What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A: The piranha. They only attack in schools.
Q: What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A: Normal
Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A: A redhead!
Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table.
A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm naked."
With that she strips naked, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new
Set of clothes!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers yelling. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!"
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching the dice"
A redhead went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big
mouth, and is mean to your children."
The redhead replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
A Redhead was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog. The frog said, Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes - that whatever you wish for, your ex-husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your ex-husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered," I'd like a mild heart attack."
Deathbed Confession
Jake was on his deathbed. His wife Susan, a redhead, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Susan," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh. Don't talk."
He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend
and your mother."
"I know," she replied. "That's why I poisoned you."
Last one kids
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage wondering how he had managed to stay married to redhead for so long.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the husband. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. "We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife, the redhead, promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule.
Well I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, 'That's once'."
Did ya smile
She's weak from laughing Judith go for the kill. The edit button will be mine haaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Disclaimer
What's the point just shoot me now.
Anyway guess what you won that you wont get because Lauri wants it.
Sorry she has a bigger edit button than you do.
Unlessssssss you fight her to the death in a giant bowl of salsa dip... then its yours.
but if you win I'll only send it to you if you submit a picture of yourself since everybody at the event said
nobody's ever really seen you or knows what you look like
hmmmmmm My hope is that you are a fiery redhead able to leap tall buildings with a single pin. And can defeat mean Laureen in the salsa and get me that well deserved edit button I so long for.
<<<<<<Flash>>>>>>>
Good evening MR. And Mrs. America and all the ships at sea beep beep beep beep
This just in I was told that Mean Laureen is sad and it's my job to cheer her up.... can I get fired no!!!! darn it.
So here we go kids.
Redhead jokes
Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A: Say something
Q: What do you call a redhead walking between two blondes?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: redhead won't accept a three and a half inch floppy !
Q: What's the Redhead Dating Motto?
A: The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
Q: What do redheads and McDonald's have in common?
A: You've never had it so good and so fast.
Q: What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
A: The piranha. They only attack in schools.
Q: What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A: Normal
Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A: A redhead!
Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table.
A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm naked."
With that she strips naked, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new
Set of clothes!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers yelling. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!"
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching the dice"
A redhead went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big
mouth, and is mean to your children."
The redhead replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
A Redhead was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog. The frog said, Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes - that whatever you wish for, your ex-husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your ex-husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered," I'd like a mild heart attack."
Deathbed Confession
Jake was on his deathbed. His wife Susan, a redhead, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Susan," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh. Don't talk."
He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend
and your mother."
"I know," she replied. "That's why I poisoned you."
Last one kids
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage wondering how he had managed to stay married to redhead for so long.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the husband. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. "We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife, the redhead, promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule.
Well I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, 'That's once'."
Did ya smile
She's weak from laughing Judith go for the kill. The edit button will be mine haaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Disclaimer
What's the point just shoot me now.
. I'm not sure I want to know how I won something when I wasn't even there - Jeff probably registered my box! How was I supposed to know who to call ( I don't have your phone number) or contact when I wasn't supposed to know I won anything - I kept asking one of the moderators, but he wouldn't confirm or deny anything (Matt, I won't tell Raul it was you!). And how come you're putting redhead jokes in MY trhread?!! It must be redheaded pixie dust because Mean Laureen needs it!!
