He's gone

[disneygal2007]

My wonderful husband left about 30 minutes ago to go to Kuwait. I feel so sad. He is my best friend. 12 months to go. It could have been worse it was 15 months

 

[lovemygoofy]

Hi, I'm Tina. I'm so sorry you are going through this but know that tomorrow you can mark the first day off the calendar and one day closer to your husband coming home. I know how difficult this is for you. I'm going to be doing this myself very soon. It just sucks all the way around.

 

[disneygal2007]

It does. We already have the count down board up he and the kids made it yesterday. These are some of my thoughts I just put on another board.

My husband just left tonight for a year tour in Kuwait. Can I ask all of you to say a prayer for him and his platoon most of everyone in the unit that left are very close friends of ours that makes it a little easier to know that they have each others backs. This is a hard night for me. right now he and I would be watching soemthing that we recorded on the DVR and now I am sitting here cell phone in pocket and a computer at my fingers. My family is not whole right now. My poor 8 year old Daniel came home and went straight up stairs got in the bath without being asked and just sat there and stared no bed time story from my dad were his only words. He got out the bath went into my husband's and I room grabbed the shirt my hubby had on today and wore it to bed. The 4 year old Aaron is so confused. My mom called and he told my mom that I'm scared my mommy is sad. I have never let my kids see me cry and really angry until tonight. An I know that freaked them out. I am dreading my real first night alone. We go to bed around ten and watch TV until about 12 and then sleep. Get up at 5 am before the kids wake up and just have coffee together. What to do now. This day went by way to fast and when it came down to it. They only gave us 8 minutes to say good bye to our world. I didn't want to let go I thought if I can just get time to stand still it will be ok I will have him here just one more minute. Then he got on the bus and poof gone. He called tonight when he got on the bus but I missed the call cause the phone were asked to be shut off. I hope it doean't set the pace for the 12 months. I just got my first call and just to hear his voice has made me feel a little better. When I wake up in the moring I am getting my kids on the bus and then going to the gym coming home and putting my new life together. 364 days to go. Thank you for reading my thoughts. Please hug your spouses and thank god you have someone to drink coffee with.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I don't know if you have done this before but you can and will get through this and can come out better for doing it.

There are lots of resources for you and your children on post to help you through the stressful time. I also have quite a bit of stuff if you can't find what you need to help you through.

The phone calls may be sporadic and they may get cut off midsentence. I make a list of everything I need to discuss with my husband over the phone and I email the other things that he needs to know. The biggest thing to overcome is communicating through the distance. It's hard to clarify your statements or emotions through the written word or spoken word with no visualization.

There are lots of things you and your children can do to keep up everyone's spirits with goody boxes, letters on tape or video, maybe the occasional VTC, webcam chats, or sending a message on tape from your local post library.

I know that you feel like you were not given enough time to say goodbye but you could have been given the whole day and it wouldn't have been enough. Honestly, its like a band aid and has to be ripped off.

Right now we are going through the stress of predeployment and I'm ready to get it started to say its almost over if that makes sense. I wish you all the best and remember that every day is one day closer to your husband being back home.

 

[disneygal2007]

We have done it before but it was 4 year ago and he was gone 7 months he was a marine then now he is army. I guess as the days go by it will get easier. Thank you for your kind words. the Dis always ha kind hearted people.

 

[Evi]

I feel your pain. I went through this in 02 when they first started deploying to middle east. My df at the time we had just moved in together and I was starting wedding plans and one day he got a phone call for an emergency meeting he had 5 days till deployment. I was horrified beyond belief. How could this be happening much less to us.

Honestly the 13 months went by very quickly ok slowly at first but soon they were gone over with. I wont lie I cried my heart out many many nights mostly out of fear for him. But my biggest resource was his family and my friends. Since we were not married yet the other wives of his battalion formed a group but really didn't involve me I even had one tell me I wasn't able to participate in an event because I didn't live on base.

It was difficult but we got through it we kept in touch via emails mostly, very few phone calls lots of letters and I sent lots of packages.

It was funny I saw alot of couples not make it but let me tell you something almost all of those were from wives who strayed. So as long as you love him and you have your beautifull babies to keep you company. You'll be ok plus like someone else said there are tons of resources on post for you. I did get alot of help from a chaplan on post in so far as keeping me updated. Wife responsable for keeping kin updated would only send email updates to his parents who at the time didn't have at home computer access and dont' speak english yes I hate this woman lol.

Anyhow you'll make it and he'll be back soon just be strong and keep busy. My house was never and has never been as clean as it was while he was gone lol. and I dont think I ever kept my gym commitment like I did then.

::hugs::

 

[Stephanie218]

I'm sorry - prayers for you and your family. Patrick's leaving on a 12 month deployment in August, and I'm already dreading it....I was so upset when it got extended from the usual 7 months for Marines. At least he's gone, so you can start counting down like LoveMyGoofy said. Keep your calendar going! You can do it!

 

[live4christp1]

Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray also for your DH and his platoon for safety and protection. Hope the time passes quickly for you.

 

[Jillpie]

It does. We already have the count down board up he and the kids made it yesterday. These are some of my thoughts I just put on another board.

My husband just left tonight for a year tour in Kuwait. Can I ask all of you to say a prayer for him and his platoon most of everyone in the unit that left are very close friends of ours that makes it a little easier to know that they have each others backs. This is a hard night for me. right now he and I would be watching soemthing that we recorded on the DVR and now I am sitting here cell phone in pocket and a computer at my fingers. My family is not whole right now. My poor 8 year old Daniel came home and went straight up stairs got in the bath without being asked and just sat there and stared no bed time story from my dad were his only words. He got out the bath went into my husband's and I room grabbed the shirt my hubby had on today and wore it to bed. The 4 year old Aaron is so confused. My mom called and he told my mom that I'm scared my mommy is sad. I have never let my kids see me cry and really angry until tonight. An I know that freaked them out. I am dreading my real first night alone. We go to bed around ten and watch TV until about 12 and then sleep. Get up at 5 am before the kids wake up and just have coffee together. What to do now. This day went by way to fast and when it came down to it. They only gave us 8 minutes to say good bye to our world. I didn't want to let go I thought if I can just get time to stand still it will be ok I will have him here just one more minute. Then he got on the bus and poof gone. He called tonight when he got on the bus but I missed the call cause the phone were asked to be shut off. I hope it doean't set the pace for the 12 months. I just got my first call and just to hear his voice has made me feel a little better. When I wake up in the moring I am getting my kids on the bus and then going to the gym coming home and putting my new life together. 364 days to go. Thank you for reading my thoughts. Please hug your spouses and thank god you have someone to drink coffee with.

omg , I don't know what to say. I know I take it for granted that my DH is always here. I am so sad for you. I will say a prayer for you and your family, and your DH. Big giant for you right now.

 

[tngramma]

My wonderful husband left about 30 minutes ago to go to Kuwait. I feel so sad. He is my best friend. 12 months to go. It could have been worse it was 15 months

"He is gone". Upon answereing the phone those were the very words DDIL said to me at 3:45 am the morning DS left for Kuwait to stay till the war started. It breaks my heart for you and so many others to be going through this. But when I saw those words in print I started crying just now. Hang in there and seek family and friends. Keep busy and know I am praying for you daily.

 

[disneygal2007]

Thanks for the kind words. It's so quiet around here no ebox on. I don't hear the kids screaming up stairs cause daddy isn't chasing them from the different rooms playing hide and go seek (their fav game) I sat at the table at lunch today alone those are the worse times. And you know what is gross I went to wash sheets today and skipped my bed cause it still has the scent of his body wash. I miss he little things but I keep telling myself he will be home before you know it. I keep think of my friend who lost her husband in Baghdad last year so I am grateful that he will be in Kuwait and not some where where there is constant shooting and for that I am thankful.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thanks for the kind words. It's so quiet around here no ebox on. I don't hear the kids screaming up stairs cause daddy isn't chasing them from the different rooms playing hide and go seek (their fav game) I sat at the table at lunch today alone those are the worse times. And you know what is gross I went to wash sheets today and skipped my bed cause it still has the scent of his body wash. I miss he little things but I keep telling myself he will be home before you know it. I keep think of my friend who lost her husband in Baghdad last year so I am grateful that he will be in Kuwait and not some where where there is constant shooting and for that I am thankful.

When my husband is away, I spray his cologne on my pillow or on my sleep shirt. Do you have friends whose husband is also away? Think about setting up some kind of cooking calendar hosting potluck or rotating houses for dinner. It takes a bit of the ping out of the empty chair hitting you at the dinenr table.

Take time to explore something new for you whether it be a hobby class or furthering your education in some form. Every deployment I've learned something new and this deployment I'm planning to take a baking class, try to learn to knit, and thinking about starting my masters.

Just remember you aren't alone and there are many of people here but more importantly there on post are plenty of others who are going through the same thing and could be looking for some friendship and company.

Keep up the good job, you have a couple days already down on the calendar and honestly you have it right about your husband still being around even if not there with you. On the days I want to cry, I do cry but then get up and count my blessings and that includes no one ringing my doorbell yet. I hope things get better for you and you get into some kind of routine soon.

 

[disneygal2007]

Thanks Tina. Let see I joined curves went today but then came home and ate some cookie dough I am opening a FCC day care in my home. I am planning our next DW trip for 12 days we are also gonna do allot of touring around Orlando so I am doing that stuff. I wanna redecorate a bit redoing the kids rooms and I want to get my house sorted But my main goal is to get healthy
I have diabetes so I need to loose some weight. I think all of that will keep me busy. What do you think. I heard from him he can't call so I got a message on myspace saying they are in Germany and they are hungry lol God I miss him o much nights are lonely but I started reading a novel I bought in March lol I just wish I can look over and see him watching sports center man I hate that show but I would give anything to see him watching it complaining out the KS Chiefs

 

[lovemygoofy]

You are doing a good job. Coming up with a plan for the year helps but make sure you do something fun also. Let me tell you, the first 48 hours after a deployment starts is cookie dough and french fries with cherry coke lol. Then it's time to put on the big girl panties and get on with the year.

I completely understand about missing him. Honestly, I'm not going to say it goes away but you will get into your routine and it will make the days go by. Some will be slow and some will be faster. To this day and with my husband home, I have nightmares a few times a month about him being away and the stuff that can happen.

The biggest thing I can encourage you to do is keep your communication lines open. Tell him what's going on in your life and the kids life. Make him still feel part of your family. When I'm upset whether at my Matt(yes I still get mad at him even when he isn't here) and I email him with the subject title JUST VENTING or MAD BUT NOT AT YOU. He is still my sounding board even at 10k miles away and he still wants to know what's going on. Email your husband about the vacation stuff and let him chip in with his opinion. Work toward the vacation goal together.

I cannot encouarge you enough to get out and see people and make friends. Take some of the free family classes offered on post or go to your FRG if you like them. Make sure you and your kids are getting out and meeting up with people that are going through the same thing. It helps to know that you are not alone in this battle.

 

[disneygal2007]

Thanks. right now they are still stuck in Germany. The plain they were on broke down in AIR so they had to turn it around so they have been sleeping on cots. I am just counting down the days and it has just started. When does your DH come home?

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thanks. right now they are still stuck in Germany. The plain they were on broke down in AIR so they had to turn it around so they have been sleeping on cots. I am just counting down the days and it has just started. When does your DH come home?

Sorry to hear about the plane breaking down. It never fails something goes wrong when my husband is on his way there or on his way back. You'd think after the number of times the army has done this in the past years, they'd have it to a science but apparently not.

My husband hasn't left yet. He actually has been TDY in GA for a good portion of this year. We are now just waiting on the day he leaves. It's changed everyday for the last week. We'll get to THE DAY and get the tears wiped up and see ya later ready and it gets cancelled. It's driving me crazy. I'm one of those rip the band aid and not just keep trying to ease it backward.

This will be his 3rd tour of Iraq since 2003 and his 4th deployment since 2001. I like to tease him saying the reason we are still married is that he is always gone. It is difficult but you get your routine and it does help the time go by. I tell people that it gets easier after you know what to expect but if it gets easier on the heart to see your spouse leave, then that's when it's time for some help.

I'm glad you are still hearing from your husband and just think, the days he is spending in Germany still counts as days closer to him coming home from you.

 

[disneygal2007]

You are such a sweet woman. Military wives they know what the pain feels like and they can say I know how u feel and mean it. I just hope this goes by fast I just can't say that enough. I am at a friends house right now our husband's are best friends and they are gone together and at least we know we can lean on each other that makes all the difference. The last time my husband was deployed was in 03 and it was allot easier then cause my parents were only a hour away and I had help now I am alone and have 2 kids instead of one little quiet little boy. That what makes it hard cause I don't get a break with my kids. But he owes me big time when he returns I swear it has only been 6 days and they are driving me nuts. I know they miss daddy to but good grief cut mama a litte slack.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

Hey disneygal2007,

It seems like we have some of the same goals while our dh's are gone....getting healthy and redecorating ; ) I've lost 29 pounds (6 twice), I've decided that I'm going to redecorate the whole house while he's gone....hire someone to do some work that I can't do, etc.

Dh is my best friend so not only am I missing my dh but my best friend too. It gets easier though and I've been keeping myself busy, w/ friends, the kids, working, sending him tons of packages and I've got a routine down. I'm planning our trip for when he comes back for mid tour. I think I'm taking this deployment better than the other ones b/c I have kept so busy....plus w/ emailing, webcaming, and dh and I talk through yahoo phone too.

 

[disneygal2007]

Congrats on the weight loss. I know what you mean about best friend and husband. We do everything together so this is a hard time and I am board out of my mind at night. Communication is so much better this deployment I get to talk to him at least once a day and that is great. He is able to call for free through staff duty so that is wonderful. I just miss him I can hear his smile but I would do jut about anything to see it.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

I used to be really bored at night too. That was our time together to hang out after the kids went to bed. Now I use that time to read, cath up on tv shows (I dvr them), and to start any kind of crafty projects. It's veg out time for me b/c after coming home from work then starting my 2nd job w/ cooking dinner and cleaning, I really need that extra time. I think the hardest time for me was just waiting for him to get settled so that we all could get in a routine. I wouldn't say the time has flown by, but it's more steady for me now.