Here's a strategy for you: just say no to family who invites themselves

[cmul04]

Seriously. When you plan your trip, keep it to yourself. I know, you are excited, you have your Disney nights, your countdown calendars, you are busy making all kinds of custom surprises from the kind people over on the Creative DISign board...I'm telling ya...DO NOT TELL YOUR FAMILY YOU ARE GOING!!!!!

We are live at BCV, on our family's vacation that we saved for for over 2 years. Yes we are DVC and yes, we saved for years. We have never vacationed with just ourselves. They tag along every time. Every single time. And this trip is the last straw. They are not in our room, but they are just down the hall.

They are arguing with each other, the SIL is a lunatic screamer of a mom (seriously, if you saw the huge commotion today at MK, that was me and my family slinking away pretending not to know her.) and the whole thing is just stressful. So far our best moments have been alone, like we planned it in the beginning.

How do we get in this position? Because they are nosey and we are not liars. Congratulations dear family, I think we have just learned how to lie. No, we are not going to Disney 3 more times in 2010, nope, not us, no siree bob.

 

[vicki_c]

Sorry! I hope your next 3 trips are private and magical! Keep the faith for this one, though!

 

[mamaLori05]

That doesn't sound fun at all. Assuming you still have some time left, maybe you can tell them that you would like some alone family time for tomorrow, and suggest meeting up with them just for dinner or snack or something so that you can still enjoy your vacation. Good luck!

 

[moepanz]

Uhgh! I feel your pain. I was dumb enough to open my mouth on Christmas that our next family trip to Disney will be Dec. 2011 my SIL says "Awesome we can totally do that" I would not mind except my brother thinks "Disney is the most depressing place on earth" ( I know I can't believe we are related) he absolutely hates Disney yet she is planning on dragging him on "my family trip" and I did not ask them.

Ignore your unwanted guests, focus on your family. Before you know it you will be back in WDW. (with out them) Good Luck!

 

[cmul04]

I will have to bring some details tomorrow! You would not believe it...or maybe you would. I have read about people who are adamant that vacation time is family time and we've always thought it was fun to have the cousins around for our kids. What were we thinking?

Okay, off to bed so I can have a good attitude tomorrow at Animal Kingdom. If you're there and you spot a huge family argument, look around for the rest of the family trying to escape the scene - that would be us!!

 

[danceintherain]

Yeah... my DH was terrified to tell my Mom about our trip in December, (which we canceled) because he was worried she would invite herself. I told him she wouldn't do that, especially since it was just the 2 of us, and it was for our anniversary and his birthday, but he wasn't convinced.
He was VERY worried about it, because of how she acted in regards to our July trip which she was invited on. Actually her and my Dad paid for it, so her not coming wasn't really an option.
She lost both her credit card and her debit card before the trip, so she had no method of payment the whole time. Obviously this wouldn't have been a problem if we had stayed on site, because my Dad could have allowed her room charging privileges, but I couldn't convince them to do that. Yeah... that was frustrating, and only one of the things she did.

I'm torn about possibly inviting her in the future to help with the kids, but I'm really thinking it won't happen. I don't think anyone else in my family would be a problem, because my younger siblings I may invite on a trip with us in the future (if we could keep my Mom out of it) and my older sister has in-laws that have a house in Orlando, so anytime they go down, they'll be staying there, and planning activities with them wouldn't be a big deal. I think it's more likely that we would take my Dad.

The major problem with my Mom is that she just wouldn't understand Disney's policies on room occupancy. She went to the beach last year and crammed 9 people into a single hotel room. (I wasn't there, thank heavens!) For her, everything is the more the merrier, and she doesn't seem to realize that if you have more people you have more opinions and it becomes more difficult to make everyone happy, not impossible, but difficult.

 

[fla4fun]

I know what you mean! If I were you, I'd be tempted to give them bogus vacation dates, about a week or two later than yours, and then just sneak off under cover of darkness. By the time they have it figured out, you'll be on your way home!

 

[Jasperann]

This has been our issue with our trip too... We waited to tell my DILs because we thought that his brother would invite himself and his family along. We really were looking forward to a 'just' our family trip. Well I told my mom about it and she was so excited for us she started making plans to be there at the same time. Now my niece is has invited herself and her three kids to drive down with us... We are driving down straight threw and do not want to have to worry about anyone else driving down following us. We are even renting a car so we don't have to worry about a car breaking down... if it breaks down they will just bring us a new car. But she is planning on buying a used car and driving that down. I would feel bad if she broke down. Especially with three little kids. I don't think I would want to stop either. I just want our family vacation to be for 'our' family only... I know it sounds really selfish. Next time I will not be telling anyone! I'll be hiding our countdown links and I will not talk about it any where but here.

Good luck with the rest of your trip.

 

[Cee]

We always tell our family after we get back!

 

[seashoreCM]

1. Go about your vacation as you planned and they can tag along or not tag along as they please (subject to seating in restaurants you aslready made ressies at).

OR

1. You may find them helpful holdiong space at the curb for a parade or holding a table at a pickup counter restaurant.

Disney hints: http://www.cockam.com/disney.htm

 

[grumpeeduck]

SIL and BIL invited themselves to our vaca a couple of years ago. She said only 2 days, but when they arrived they stayed for 5 days!! It was miserable and never again!

OP, tell your family that you are gonna go on your own for the rest of your time there. There is no reason to put yourself through that. Good luck.

 

[dburg30]

I guess we get lucky, I've never had anyone try to invite themselves with us. From my sister I would get a 'I wish I had vacation time' but she loves WDW, so that actually would have worked .

We bought DVC for the sole purpose (ok, technically dual purpose ) of either being able to get a 1bedroom for one week for us, or doing an every other year and being able to get a 2 bed and a studio for family. We have no kids, but have a large number in our extended family. So we want to share it with them. But I can assure you if anyone goes and acts up too much, they just wont be invited next time. It really is just that simple. I'm sorry you are having to put up with that, but I hope you still get to have some fun on your own. Just get up early in the AM and head to a different park

 

[swald91]

YIKES! I always thought that having family with us would be great-we've gone often enough that if we miss something it's not that devastating-I guess if you have your own rooms & do your own thing, meet for dinner or parade or fireworks later it might not be too bad-but if the family is miserable to begin with-or someone in the party is not a Disney person-I could see that causing a few issues..hope the rest of your vacation goes better..

 

[fairestoneofall]

someone in the family always invites herself along on our trip. it's either my sister or my mil. and while, i don't mind, i do like family time too. it's just more stressful with more people because everyone depends on me to do all of the planning.

we are planning to go back next year (for me to run the half-marathon in january) and my mil is already inviting herself along. i just want to say no. my sister won't be able to go because she is going with some friends at thanksgiving.

what we did thanksgiving 2008 is to go a few days before my family got there. then, we at least had a few days to ourselves. and it was SO much more relaxed when it was just dh, the kids and me. we didn't have to worry about pleasing anyone but ourselves.

other than when dh and i went on our anniversary, we have never had a trip where some family member wasn't there at least part of the time. at least, just once, i'd like to have our own time.

 

[mistee]

o my goodness i totallyfeel your pain!!!

i though i was the only one who had family trying to crash vacations..

out first family wdw vacation was 2 years ago,, I was soooo excited!!! then my mom started w/,, " I can get off and go" " I can watch the kids while you do adult stuff" m" i always wanted to go at christmas"

i just acted like i never heard her,,lol.. i know mean but she goeas all the time w/ my brother who is a cast member and i just wanted " family" time!

we were planning another vaca last year and were gong to go at christmas time again,, she started again and said she was going w/ us,, not waiting for an invite!!! sooooo we changed plans and went in sept for free dining,,, no mom!!

i also took the kids back in feb cause my mom wanted to do a big family vaca and honestly it was horrible!!! fighting,, bickering,, i hated waiting foreveryone to get moving,, changing plans,,,, never again!!!

 

[avic77]

When my MIL found out we were giving the kids Disney for Christmas she said "Maybe i'll tag along". I very quickly replied... "we are staying onsite and our room only holds 5 we didnt rent a condo like we did for Universal" (she was supposed to go with us to Universal but was in an accident 2 days before).

 

[LilGMom]

I completely agree with you!! And also don't tell friends your dates if they express interest in going too. Out of the last three trips we've made two of them have been with family or friends and my favorite trip was the shorter one that didn't have anyone tagging along with us.

 

[rubato]

I'm so sorry they are ruining your trip. Can you just sneak out for the day and not tell them where you are going? Oops, phone didn't work. I guess I couldn't get any signal. My parents invited themselves on our first trip. My stepmom is also a screamer. I HATED that trip. The next 2 trips we've planned, as soon as I mention it, they ask "Can we come too?". Luckily, I have enough nerve to say "No. We just want it to be us.". I was pretty smart on this last one. I didn't tell them until the 92 day mark. They asked if they could come. I told them that I would be making all of my dining reservations at 6 am in a day and a half, so they better get it together. Of course they couldn't get organized that fast, so , shucks, they couldn't go!

 

[dragonye]

Once in a while I will invite a SIL and BIL with their girls as my kids like them and I like the whole lot. But the other SIL and BIL I can't stand and thier kids too. After a vacation the hated one confronted me and said "you didn't invite us to florida..." I forgot I owned the state of Florida! If they wanted to go they were free to go but no way was I inviting them as they blew us off the previous year and we scrambled to find someone else to take over the timeshare they had us rent ( we were going to charge them if we didn't find anyone). Then 2 years ago we had a whole family reunion down there and the whole time my mantra was ...your coming back next year alone .... my kids have to get along as there is no one else to hang with and we always have a stress free vacation .

 

[Tara922c]

I guess I am lucky. My family that can afford to go to wdw think that I am weird that I want to go to wdw, and they go somewhere tropical. The rest can't afford to go. BIL, and his family wanted to go with us, and I wanted them to go to, but they decided that they were going to buy two big screen tvs for their house instead, and have their floors redone. Oh well, would have liked them to come. We could really use a new TV.... hmmmm TV or WDW, I will take Disney!