Here's A Question for Everyone

[scanmom]

Sort of like organized religion.

I love this comparison! So, So true!!! And no, I am not an atheist... I just think ORGANIZED religion has created more than enough problems!

 

[Handbag Lady]

Anybody who drinks less than me is a party pooper and anybody who drinks more than me is a drunk.

I agree!!!!




I can drink a glass of wine every night for 2-3 days. But when the bottle is gone, then it will be a while before I open another one. I really like red wines. But, I do love my martinis. And I am a beer snob.

But, as I write this, I cannot remember the last alcoholic drink I had...maybe three weeks ago?

So yeah, what wdwfan says!

 

[java]

If I go out in the evening - like to dinner(without the kids) or just out with friends I will drink.

I don't drink at home often- maybe 3 times a year. But I drink socially- out and about. And yes I drank on Halloween. I had a beer.

Oh and I am a big big Disney drinker. Something about those cute little drinks I can't resist.

As for doing something that has caused pain for so many what about eating? There are lots of clinically obese out there - should we stop eating?

I'm an adult and I drink.
the last drink I had was Friday night - I had a glass of wine. woohoo party! lol

 

[luvmy3]

She's not judging in the way you seem to think she's judging, at least from my reading of this. I haven't gone back to read the OP, but my recollection of what she said is that there are some people in her neighborhood who drink alcohol around kids and that she thinks this behavior is questionable. Obviously there's a judgment call there on her part, however, she follows it up by asking whether she's being too hard on these people and she acknowledges that her position could be the one that's questionable, which is why she posted her post in the first place.

I don't see why that's something to get upset about. She's not judging you. She's asking for thoughts.

I'm not upset at all, and her OP does come across extrremely judgemental toward her neighbors/friends and those who drink "openly" around their children. I do see she posted again and cleared a fee things up, but her OP does come across as judgemental.

OP here....I knew this post would bring a wide variety of replies.
I'm not judging - I'm just thinking about my take on all of this. Am I being a harsh critic or a concerned mom? And to those who asked, I do occasionally have a drink when we are out to dinner or on vacation. And I do consume the drinks in front of my kids and explain that the drink is a "grown up" drink and that daddy has to drive (dh doesn't drink when I do if we are out and vice versa).

But what sparked my thread was a comment a neighbor made about goin out and getting "blitzed." It definitely took me by surprise the way it was said and that made me think about the Halloween thing and that it seems to me that all of these people we talk to and our kids play with drink with the intention to get impaired....I'm not trying to say she is wrong but it just makes me think that on a few years will her kids think that getting "blitzed" is ok and will my kids get drawn into it? I can tell my kids that underage drinking is wrong, that mom and dad don't approve - blah blah blah. But, yes, teenagers will be teenagers. I just hope that the behaviors some of my neighbors demonstrate are
discusse with their kids like many of you stated in your posts. Setting good examples is what parenting is about. Discussing tough issues (like drinking, drugs and sex) is our job as well. But the example I hope to set is one of responsibility for ones actions. I think my original post was valid and non-judgemental.

And if you felt I was judging you, well all I can say is how can I judge you if I don't even know you? I was simply asking a question to see what others felt was appropriate.

OP, if you are worried now about your preschooler being drawn into underage drinking in 12 or so years because some of the other parents enjoy getting blitzed every now and again, you are going to have a long road ahead of you.

 

[MouseEarsJenny]

I didn't drink until I was legal, and by then I had my daughter. So then I didn't drink until both of my kids were weaned. Then I started having an occasional mixed drink when dh and I went out to dinner. (Like, maybe twice a year? Mostly I prefer to drink unsweet tea with meals.) The past few years, I've started to enjoy drinks while on vacation by the pool or at restaurants. I'm pretty sure I had 5 drinks during our last two week Disney vacation. But then I don't think I've had a drink since then (I'm trying to lose weight), and that was June 2009. Maybe a peppermint schnapps in a Christmas hot chocolate... hmm.... Guess I must be a drunk, cause I can't remember for sure.

My kids lectured my DH a few times when they were younger and he would order a beer at a dinner out. (He drinks more than I do, because he generally orders beer or wine at a restaurant. I'd say maybe 2-4 drinks a month?) We explained to them, in no uncertain terms, the difference between enjoying an adult beverage as an adult in a social situation and inappropriate drinking, particularly underage drinking. And even if he's only had one beer, I will drive home if the kids are in the car.

However. I grew up in an extended family of, I admit it freely, rednecks. Beer (and the cheap nasty stuff, to boot) was passed like water at every family gathering. I was never tempted to drink it, and as you can probably tell, don't have a drinking problem as a result. So the kids watching their parents drink will probably end up making up their own minds about alcohol, just like everyone on the thread.

 

[DisneyTravelers2008]

I personally think it is ok for kids to see their parents drink alcohol RESPONSIBLY...that can set a good example as well...if they cant learn responsible drinking habits from responsible adults, they will earn it from their friends...who would you rather your kids model if/when they choose to drink? Just my opinion...

 

[Jennasis]

I don't drink at all. I dislike the way alcohol tastes, in every form. Same for DH.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

I drink beer when I go out to Happy Hour I love beer. I also know how many I can have without getting stupid(er) and having a headache the next day. I don't drink when I go out to dinner because I get too full. We get together with our neighbors about once a month and I usually drink then. My kids see me and DH drink. No drinking and driving, no getting drunk.

A big pet peeve of mine is when other people comment on whether you are drinking or not. There have been a few times when I haven't wanted a drink and just have soda and I have a friend who always used to give me a hard time about it until I pointed out to her how rude it is. Another girl when I was pregnant with my oldest dd(16 years ago) saw me with a beer in a glass and went off on me. It was a non-alchoholic beer which I would have told her IF she had bothered to ask but instead started saying 'How could you drink a beer? Do you know what that can do to your baby?" I told her to mind her business and get out of my face. Don't mess with an 8 months pg lady! Anyway, my point is it is not anyone's business if you drink or if you don't drink. On that note, I have to go finalize my happy Hour plans for this weekend Cheers!!

my DSIL is kind of the same way. she'll constantly bother me if i'm not having an alcoholic drink when she's around and i'm just like "sorry...i don't ALWAYS want a drink, sometimes i just want water!" like if i'm at a restaurant sometimes i won't have a drink because i'll get too hot, or if it's a hot summer day the last thing i want is something that's going to warm me up even more.

altho the "non-alcoholic beer" thing i have a bit of an issue with, but like i said before, i just keep that to myself. none of my business, it's just my preference for when I get pregnant, you know?

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

I love this comparison! So, So true!!! And no, I am not an atheist... I just think ORGANIZED religion has created more than enough problems!

 

[AKL_Megs]

I enjoy a glass of wine nightly on the weekends. I am under a lot of stress at work all week, and I can't drink on most of the days that I work, so I kick back on the weekends. I'd say I drink a bottle of wine a week, give or take.

In the summer, if DH is out grilling, or if we are enjoying an afternoon/evening on the deck, I will have a flavored beer of some sort, or a cocktail, or again, a glass of wine.

I also consider myself a "social drinker".

If you told me tomorrow that I couldn't have beer or liquor again, I would be okay with it, but I would miss my wine.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

How often do you drink alcoholic beverages? Is it a daily routine for you? Do you 'kick back' at the end of the day with a glass of wine or a beer?

Here's why I ask...

Many of my neighbors drink openly. In fact, the one thing that really shocked me was when I took my kids trick-or-treating in the neighborhood last fall and the parents carted around a wagon filled with a cooler of beer.

I just don't "get" the whole drinking thing. Occasionally, I'll enjoy a glass of wine or a cocktail, but it's not an every day or even and every week thing. It is very occasional. But my neighbors seem to drink all the time.

And we all have kids in the pre-school to middle/high school age range. What does this say to them? When they see mommy pulling a kids' wagon with a cooler of beer - it makes me really worried for when these kids get to high school. They'll have access to it which will lead to unfortunate events...

I don't know. To each his own, I guess. But I'm trying to be a responsible parent and set a good example. One stupid mistake can ruin someone's entire life...and a kid that drinks too much can lead to a mistake like that.

Thoughts? Flames?

Thanks for reading...

NEW RULE...

Flames? I have tried those drinks and they don't so anything for me.

DRINK?

yes, yes I do.

RUM?

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

Well...since I have already seen comments about the South and Southern Baptists...I'm going to share my view since I am BOTH (but Southern Baptist by marriage, lol).

I have nothing against drinking...but I don't drink. I don't like the taste of beer or wine, and am too cheap to order mixed drinks when we are out in a restaraunt. We do, however, have a nice collection of Rums (from the Caribbean), and Bourbon (since I live very close to the Jack Daniels Distellery). We occassionally make our own drinks at home.

I grew up in the South, and drinking in my parents home was a very rare occurance. The both drink more now that we are all grown. DH grew up in a home (Southern Baptist) where drinking of any kind is taboo. Boy, I'd hate for them to see him put away beers during a football game .

In our subdivision, we have quite a few neighbors from up north...Pennsylvania and Mass. So I quickly got accustomed to them drinking while talking to us. No biggie. And I've talked with my DS about alchohol...he is 9. He knows it isn't 'evil'...but can cause lots of problems if you drink too much or drive when you are drinking.

Anyways...a Southern perspective, lol.

 

[declansdad]

I had a beer with my supper but my son didn't see me drinking it. I let him eat his supper in front of the tv.

 

[krcit]

my DSIL is kind of the same way. she'll constantly bother me if i'm not having an alcoholic drink when she's around and i'm just like "sorry...i don't ALWAYS want a drink, sometimes i just want water!" like if i'm at a restaurant sometimes i won't have a drink because i'll get too hot, or if it's a hot summer day the last thing i want is something that's going to warm me up even more.

altho the "non-alcoholic beer" thing i have a bit of an issue with, but like i said before, i just keep that to myself. none of my business, it's just my preference for when I get pregnant, you know?

Just to clarify(not that you were judging me) I only had 1 non-alcoholic beer b/c we were at a party and I hadn't been out in ages. I was trying to be 'festive' Didn't work, lol!! I was huge and miserable.

 

[Planogirl]

I had a beer with my supper but my son didn't see me drinking it. I let him eat his supper in front of the tv.

Next you'll be saying that that TV is in your son's room.

Back to the subject at hand, people are going to do things that you don't agree with and your child will see things you might not like. It's important that you address those issues and quit worrying about what others do. I just hope that people don't get blitzed and then jump into their cars. There's little else I can say much about.

 

[Darsa]

I never do. Don't ever see the need for it, doesn't relax me or taste good, ever, so nah, I stick to water/skim milk/Diet Coke.

 

[declansdad]

Next you'll be saying that that TV is in your son's room.

Nah, I would never do that. That would be bad parenting.

 

[zippitydoo]

We rarely drink. Maybe once every couple of months 3-4 times a year

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Just to clarify(not that you were judging me) I only had 1 non-alcoholic beer b/c we were at a party and I hadn't been out in ages. I was trying to be 'festive' Didn't work, lol!! I was huge and miserable.

awww i'm sorry you were miserable lol. thanks for clarifying that tho, because 1 or 2 i don't have a problem with.

the DSIL that i have that drinks them has them CONSTANTLY. she either won't go to family events because she "can't handle being around the alcohol" or she'll bring a 6 pack of the NA stuff and drink it....family events or friend events....which...they do every weekend.

and like i said i don't mind once in a while, but even when they stop by just to say "hi" she's got the 6 pack of the NA with her and i'm always thinking "you can't just have water??? or grape juice??? something HEALTHY for the baby you're carrying??" but she doesn't listen to anyone so it doesn't matter what i say.

 

[ChristaDeVil]

Okay, my husband and I usually have a drink or two at night to unwind...usually a little more on the weekends. Yes, we drink in front of our son. Yes, I think he should see that you can drink responsibly. Yes, I wait for him to go stay at his grandparents house before I drink irresponsibly.

Now, on the Halloween rolling bar in a wagon idea...the group we trick-or-treated with this past year did this exact thing, and I was APPALLED (because I was on antibiotics and couldn't participate)

I agree with the PP's that said that the ones that drink right out in the neighborhood are not the ones you need to worry about...it's the ones that hide it!