Here to offer my hugs!

[kjs1976]

I just noticed this forum this week and am here to offer my shoulder to cry on, a hug when you need one, and support of all kinds.

Although my story cannot compete in the compassion catagory with others on this board, what I learned from it was life changing. DH is a healthy, fit, active 29 yr. old. The first week of June this year, he woke up with what he's describe as normal back pain. He installed flooring for a living so each year he'd encounter a week or two of back pain from lifting wrong, go to PT, and recover. This time, it progressed within 3 days to severe Sciatica, which we didn't know that it was that at the time. After two weeks of being in excruitiating pain and seeing 3 different doctors, he was finally given an MRI and told he had a bulging disc. We had to wait another 10 excrutiating days to get a cortisone shot....thank goodness no surgery was needed. Although the shot helped, he still was unable to sit or stand without pain for another two months and wasn't ok'd for somewhat regular activity until the end of September. June and July for him was spent just laying around, as anything else just plain hurt. He couldn't work and even sleeping was an issue because of his lack of movement during the day, he was never tired so insomnia became an issue. So he was out of work, in pain, and down on his luck. I had never seen him in so much pain and it was hard for me to just sit there and let God handle it because I wanted to do everything in my power to make it better yesterday. At the time, we didn't even know if it was going to get better because coritsone shots have mixed reactions for people and some get better in 3-6 months, and some keep relapsing. Talk about a horrible summer that started the week before school got out (I'm a teacher) and only started to get better at the beginning of October.

I learned that families and spouses dealing with the illness of a spouse or family member need to be cared for in so many ways. A simple hour of respite, a homecooked meal, a card, or even hearing the words, "I know this sucks and may not get better for a while, but I'm here for you" are major to people dealing with sick/suffering loved ones. My mom was the only one who gave us this type of compassion. I had two close friends who did what they could, but it did surprise me how my problem soon became forgotten in their eyes. I even had one friend never ask how we were doing once since the night I told her how everything felt like it was falling apart. People don't always know how to deal or be there for you when you most need it. Some people in my life showed their true colors and although I was very hurt, I now know that I need to be the opposite to those in my life who may need my help when it comes to these types of situations.

I know that my story pales in comparison, but for three months I didn't know if he would get/stay better and where he'd ever work again. He installed flooring for a living and didn't have any other degrees and now couldn't do any physical labor type jobs, so that left us out of a lot of options. We went from not really needing to worry about where we spent our money to saving every single penny, cutting evrey coupon, and not spending anything on anything but utilities, mortgage, food, and the occasional birthday gift. God must have heard one of those long nightly prayers on my window sills, because a Lowes was opening up 20 min. away, he applied, and was hired for a higher-up sales position and is now the happiest I've seen him at his job EVER. He has purpose and meaning there and is such a people person that it is the perfect fit. We still like to live frugally in some aspects because we see how much we can save, but it's a choice now, not manditory.

I just wanted to share my story....even if I rambled on....and let all of you who come to share your struggles here, that I get it, I'm here for you, and you are in my nightly prayers!!!!

and to each and everyone of you!!!

Kassi

 

[GoofyBaby]

Kassi,

That so was incredibly beautiful, I started crying while reading it! I've been suffering with Lyme Disease for 4 years and if you saw me face to face, you would never think I was sick. I went from a well-paying real estate position to not being able to work at all due to the pain and fatigue, yet some people think I'm lazy. When people ask me how I am and I tell them, they get uncomfortable. My parents have a hard time understanding what I'm going through and we get into disagreements sometimes. I now only have one best friend who has been there for me every step of the way and I don't know where I'd be without him.

I have my days where I feel like I will never get better and today was one of those days. I cried long and hard today and afterwards I felt better, though extremely fatigued. I just have to believe I am going to get well someday and keep hope that everything is going to be okay.

Thank you so much for your generosity, kindess, hugs and sunshine. I am so happy your husband found a meaningful job and he's doing good now! Just goes to show that God does answer prayers.

 

[safetymom]

Welcome Kassi. You will be able to help many by your post. Stick around here. It is a great place.