Here right now. have the GAC ... Life is still h*ll. can Disney help??

[ppony]

Thank Sue.
I completely understand your ooipnt about the sleeping in. This is our 6th night now. We didn't let him drive the bus the first 3 days, it was night4 where he screamed and cried for 3 hours that he wanted to go "buh-buh" that we decided we needed to back off on driving him so hard. It took my DH over an hour to get him to sleep tonight and that's fast for him. He's just a really difficult one on sleep. We can't MAKE him sleep no matter how hard we try or how early we put him "to bed", he sleeps when he sleeps. same deal @ home. It's just maddening. So, we know were getting there later and in more heart, but it's just been how it had to be. Now, omorrow, we have one of our few ADRs, so well be up EARLY and do our best... As always.

We've been using the planning and crowd indicators to drive our park choices. All are green day parks.


Dang this pad.. Can't see the rest of your post. I have to save and edit.... Yes, moved to iPad. It's Daniel's "thing" in fact, we haven't brought it to the parks yet. We were scared to. DH just said he'd be willing to try anything at thus point.

I'd suggest you go back to Guest Relations and explain the issues you are having. No one can tell you exactly what will happen at each attraction because each has different things available. It is also possible that an accommodation that is available on one visit to an attraction may not be the next time you return.

If you have a smartphone, there are wait time apps for iPhones and Android. Those can help you to be in the quietest areas with the shortest waits.
Also, visit http://www.undercovertourist.com/planning/when-to-visit.html where you will be able to find cowd planning calendars for the rest of your stay. You want to avoid the 'red' parks as much as possible. Those will be busiest, which increases wait times and also makes it more likely you will encounter more frustrated, upset people who are more likely to react negatively to your child.

There won't be a lot they can do for heat, humidity and sun - most lines are shaded and a lot of your sun/heat exposure will be out of lines anyway.

I noticed you are letting him sleep - but doing that is getting you to the parks at the hottest time when the sun is brightest. The earlier you can get to the park, the shorter the waits will be. Even during Spring break, it's possible to get all the Fantasyland rides done with very short waits - less than 15 minutes.
So, you may be better off going early and not going back.

For light up toys - you could find them anywhere, but the largest concentration will be along parade or night show areas. If you have enough people in your party, you may be able to use some of them as 'human screens'. My DD is drawn to candy and water fountains - she seems to have radar for finding them. The 'human screen' has helped us a lot with that.

As far as refusing to get out of the stroller, if he feels safe there and just feels there is too much stimulation, he may refuse to get out.
Some kids who don't like a stroller canopy might be OK with an umbrella held above them or something they can pull over - like a lightweight towel. The thing they don't like about the canopy is that it seems to stiff and too close.

 

[kvnchapman]

A huge variety of snacks helped our little one!! Will he watch movies/shows on an Ipod or other handheld device? We even used movies in the restaurants, if needed. I only know about alternate entrance and stroller as a wheelchair, and those were tremendously helpful. If he won't get out of the stroller, don't force it. Try to relax, ride with DH or older son and USE BABY SWAP. Does he like glow toys, as well? If so, you can get tons of cheap ones as the Dollar Store. And if 2 is the magic number right now, i would just go ahead and buy "pairs" of lots of other items at the Dollar Store that will fit in the palms of his hands. Bring out a special "pair" each day. Does he have any effecive edible reinforcers? Chocolate? Coke? Anything that you can shower on him every time he shows positive behavior or even if he's not showing problem behaviors? Since heat and light up toys are triggers, go EARLY at rope drop, do what you can, use baby swap, fastpasses and your GAC, reinforce as much as you can, maybe head back to AKL for rest and lunch, head back to park around 3-4pm and leave before dusk, thus avoiding the "night time" toys and getting a great night's sleep. If he's struggling with going to bed or staying asleep, try melatonin - it can be purchased at drug stores or groceries. And AKL is wonderful!!! Take turns with DH and have some one-on-one time doing resort activites with your other DS. take care and hugs!!

 

[barrysprot36]

I can only say what worked for us with DS2 who is autistic. When younger he always wanted a new DVD, even if he had the same one at home, he wanted that one there and then. We learnt to pick our battles and let him have one each day, the other times we would try to avoid them in shops and use the 'human shield' as another poster has said.

We could only do a couple of hours a day in the parks, we used to try for early morning or later at night. DS is nearly 21 now and has grown out of a lot of his challenging behaviours but still has some issues.

I hope you manage to have a good time.

Caron

 

[ppony]

What about splitting up for some moments? Not perfect by far but that way both of you van do food and wine, eldest can get some special time, both of you have a care"free" moment and son van focus on quite, relaxed, colder options at the resort for instance.

Way ahead of ya. I've been returning to the resort about half of the days w/o my DH & DS(12) and they've returned to a few parks w/o me and Daniel. Great tip!!!

 

[ppony]

I can only say what worked for us with DS2 who is autistic. When younger he always wanted a new DVD, even if he had the same one at home, he wanted that one there and then. We learnt to pick our battles and let him have one each day, the other times we would try to avoid them in shops and use the 'human shield' as another poster has said.

We could only do a couple of hours a day in the parks, we used to try for early morning or later at night. DS is nearly 21 now and has grown out of a lot of his challenging behaviours but still has some issues.

I hope you manage to have a good time.

Caron

Thanks!!! I think we're going to have to be more "aware" and see these items before he does and employ this popular "human shield" technique. Two years ago when we were here, he wasn't like this. I guess that's the difference in him between 3 and almost 5.

 

[nyrebecca]

The human shield technique works wonders. We use it in every day life as well. My son sees the word PULL on fire alarms and thinks that means he should be pulling them!

Don't be scared to take the iPad to the parks. We wouldn't dare to go without my sons. It has made a world of difference. We can even eat sit down table service meals because he has it. Something we haven't been able to do for years. Plus it is also a comfort of home so to speak. It lets him keep with his routine to a point in the fact he can play his games and surf the web.

I do wish you the best I'd luck

 

[SueM in MN]

In EPCOT, you could go hang out in the Land pavilion a while.

Do you think he would like shows,like the Hall of Presidents, Carousel of Progress, or Country Bear Jamboree? That would be a place to sit out of the sun and heat. Maybe a ride on the Monorail, railroad, or riverboat would be soothing. (I would have suggested the PeopleMover, but I'm not sure if you can get a stroller up there.)

Would it be helpful for everyone to carry a couple of items so there's less stuff to fall off the stroller?

The Land is a good suggestion - also Living Seas. There are a lot of places on the upper level where you can just hang out and watch the fish swimming by.
I would avoid the Innoventions buildings - they are very noisy and echo-y.

A lot of people with autism spectrum disorders really like the monorails and boats and count both of those as their favorite 'attractions' .
From MK, you could ride the monorail to one of the MK resorts, get off there and spend some time just hanging out. Grand Floridian and Contemporary have lounging areas with TVs showing Disney cartoons.
You can also go to the TTC with the monorail or boat.
From Epcot, you could ride the boats to the Boardwalk area resorts or the Studio and back or take the monorail back and forth.
He could stay in the stroller for both monorail and larger boats.

If you have a car, you may want to drive somewhere and get a set of sound deadening earmuffs/earphones and a light blanket ( like a baby receiving blanket) for him. When I see a child 'equipped' like that, I immediately think its a child with ASD making their own 'cocoon of safety'.

For the umbrella suggestion, I should have clarified. I meant for someone walking alongside him holding it do it shades him, not him holding it.

For most of us, sunlight glinting off things is just annoying, but for someone who may already see too much stimulation even in normal light, the sunlight might be painful. Some verbal people with ASD have described sun glints as painfully bright to them and what we see as a line of light that we call a sunbeam, they see as an actual moving beam of light. If he can't tell you, there is no way to know what he sees, but I'd assume that is possible.

Also, keep in mind that many typical kids become overwhelmed and meltdown-y with all the constant stimulation of sights, sounds, smells and feelings in the park. Adding ASD on top of that, the stimulation that might be overwhelming to an average child is going to be completely over the top for him. he is going to have some meltdowns (possibly some of epic proportion).

If he can't speak to you, he is still communicating - meltdowns and refusing to get out of the stroller are communication that what's going on is too much. 'Collecting' light toys may be another way he is trying to add comfort.

Anyway, hope something in the rambling might be useful. Hope you have a quieter rest of your trip.

 

[clanmcculloch]

Based on your comment about green parks, I take you're either using TGM or easywdw, correct? I love those sites. I started with TGM but moved to easywdw because TGM just wasn't up to date. I haven't looked back.

Anyway, I have a reason for bringing this up. When reading these sites, the majority of the people doing their planning do not have special needs. They plan jam packed time in the parks. I can't speak for how others feel but I know it was a huge struggle for me to acknowledge that I needed to plan for only a fraction of what everybody else was planning. My days are significantly shorter. I don't get as much done even during the time that we are in the parks. It's our reality. Sometimes I almost get the feeling that I'm doing something wrong with my planning because I can't fit in even a fraction of what others are fitting in. This is a huge mental block that I had to overcome and still do have to work on with my planning every trip.

In addition, when doing my planning I have to be sure that I stick with our at home schedule. This means we basically don't do nighttime activities. I'm lucky to fit one nighttime things per trip and often don't even do that. It's just what we have to do because my DD HAS to be back in our room at her normal bedtime. Even on our break days (something that I schedule for every 3rd day even though everybody else on the planning sites may do only one in the middle of each trip) we still get up at our normal time and go to bed at our normal time and eat at our normal times. We HAVE to follow our regular schedule. It's not easy to do this. It takes effort. But, it really does make all the difference between a happy day and meltdowns.

Is your son willing to use or even hold one of those misting fans? While he's sitting in the stroller, let him hold one. He then has the control over whether he uses it or not. Fill it with ice then add water. Even if he's not spraying it, he's holding a cold bottle. We bought one several trips ago and just keep bringing it back.

It's not easy. Keep venting. Keep asking questions.

 

[camper06]

You are right in that its really hard to be objective when you eyes are filled w/ tears and your stroller is dumping over as you struggle to keep you son from bolting and he's biting, scratching and hitting you and all you feel is eyes on you as you can see a dozen bodies in a circle around you.

You have gotten some great advice here. I do not have any advice, but just wanted to say I am sorry that your trip is not going well. Hoping for better days ahead for you and your family.

 

[kehlyrsmom]

Does your son have any sensitivity to sound? Both of my kids are on the spectrum and my son has a lot of sensory issues. The first several years we went to WDW he wore the hearing procteting headphones during the whole time we where there. He is 11 now and on our last trip he only wore them during certain rides that were a little loud. Not sure how long you still have for your trip but I would try to get him there at rope drop back to the room mid-day for a break and back late afternoon early evening.

 

[lovethattink]

This is our second trip using a GAC for our severely autistic son. This is the first time though he is having a whole new set of "problems". . Not only have we not done more than 3 rides a day because he now will NOT leave his stroller, but he isn't able to go more that 3 hours tops in this heat and humidity. We've been letting him sleep and call the shots on when we go to a park because we've been faced w/ massive meltdowns unless he gets enough sleep. We do go back to the park for an hour or 2 after the sun goes behind the trees, but he still is having huge meltdowns , particularly when we pass ANY ligt selling cart. It's his trigger can Disney do anything to help us get h out of the sun and heat as much as possible? My GAC right now is just for his stroller but I'm not sure what if anything they can do and I hoped you experts might know.

The trip has been miserable. People are staring at us when he melts down and when things fall off our pack mule (AKA stroller) almost moone has lifted a finger to help. Not that they HAVE to, but I've been surprised at how rude and unfriendly people have been. A few kind souls have, but most just stand around me and stare. it's been horrible. And you wouldn't believe how much we've spent in 4 days on light up toys. Yes, we're giving in more now to keep everyone happy, but its unbelievably out of hand and he's got the scrapes and bruises to prove it. So do we. Lots of bites, scratches and hits.

Oh, and I should mention... he won't wear hats or tolerate a stroller canopy. That's been really bad.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. My heart goes out to you. Just wanted you to know that I can totally relate. Oct 1, 2012 I left Epcot in tears with one hand holding a Fisherman's stew and the other a greek salad, dh pushing the medical stroller and us practicially speed walking from World Showcase to the parking lot.

Are you solo with him or do you have other traveling companions?

I can help you find places to cool off. My son gets seizures when he is overheated so as annual passholders we have found many places to beat the heat.

At MK, he can stay in his stroller at the Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor, the Hall of Presidents, Tiki Room, maybe at Small World, Tink's M&G, Mickey's M&G, The Princess M&G. These are all airconditioned places and wonderful to cool down.

My son often only does 1 attraction a day, and 4 hours seems to be the max he can handle a park.

His GAC has two different stamps on it. After explaining his limitations to the cm at guest relations those are the stamps they gave and they help tremendously.

Epcot is the best place to keep cool and remain in the stroller.

AK is the worse for staying cool. Other than the Nemo show, Festival of the Lion King, the shops and indoor QS restaurants.

DHS is also difficult to keep cool. Writers stop, one man's dream, stores, QS indoor restaurants, the animation building.

You can get ice packs at first aid, make frozen water bottles if you have a freezer, bring freezer bags and dump cups of ice in it, etc. These are things we have resorted to, to keep my son cool.

Feel free to pm me.

 

[Kat77]

I'm so sorry Steph!

My son went through a bad phase at about that age. He would start stripping when he became overwhelmed so I was left trying to race out of wherever we were with a half naked child. So if it helps... just tell yourself atleast he is still clothed .

Splitting up is a great idea. The parent touring with the older child will get more done, and the one with the little one will experience less stress chilling at the hotel. Switch off midday.

 

[lanejudy]

In addition, when doing my planning I have to be sure that I stick with our at home schedule. This means we basically don't do nighttime activities. I'm lucky to fit one nighttime things per trip and often don't even do that.

This is so important to our family!!! Stick to routine and schedule as much as possible. Wake up, meal times, bed time, etc. I know it's vacation and nobody wants to be on a "schedule" (especially one with a 7pm bedtime!) but it really makes a huge difference.

Also, you've mentioned that YOU return to the resort with your younger DS - can hubby switch off with you? You deserve some "vacation" as well and your older DS should get some time with you as well. Try to let DH deal with the issues one day. Or he does morning and you deal with afternoon, or however you can work it out that you aren't always the one leaving the parks and dealing with the meltdowns. Being away from that stress for even a couple of hours can do wonders for re-charging yourself.

Lastly, just don't push him. If he wants to stay in the stroller, let him. Do shows where he can stay in the stroller. Swap who goes on rides with your older DS and who sits out with the child in the stroller. It's his safe haven and it sounds like he's grasping at anything he can for comfort.

Wishing you may find some enjoyment in the rest of your trip!

 

[goofieslonglostsis]

Great that you are splitting up but PLEASE don't you do all of the "go back with and care for"-moments.

You also need you relaxation. If difficult to "justify" it for yourself, remember how important it is to care for the mother of your kids and the wife of your DH and how it would impact them if you didn't and pay the price for it in the end. If DS has a hard time parting from you, plan it during one of his naps/sleeps if need be but DO it.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I'm a mom with 2 on the spectrum, so I really do know what you are going through, op. I strongly suggest that you switch off with your dh on who stays back at the hotel with your youngest son. It's a lot for one person to handle. You really need to switch off so each person gets a break. And you will be a better mom after having that little break. Lots of hugs to you. I know how isolated you must feel! I've been there.

 

[Schmeck]

You are right in that its really hard to be objective when you eyes are filled w/ tears and your stroller is dumping over as you struggle to keep you son from bolting and he's biting, scratching and hitting you and all you feel is eyes on you as you can see a dozen bodies in a circle around you.

People are probably really afraid of the scene you just described, and really should stay away. You don't want to risk them getting hurt and then filing assault charges. Or worse, what if they think they need to save you, and hurt your son?

What does his school, therapist, pediatrician, behaviorist, etc, suggest you do in these situations? Consistency is key for children with severe autism. They just can't process changes quickly (or at all) and they get so stressed out and lose control in the blink of an eye, it seems. Of course, the stress has been building inside of themselves, but they have no way of communicating that until it overflows and they snap.

Buying into every whim - I know you want a peaceful vacation, and it's your money, but finding strategies to deal with this will really help your son in the future. When he's in school, or out in the community without you, he will not be allowed to have his way about objects. His team (I hope you have one?) should have some plans in place for this already? I'm not saying start this right now, actually, I'd advise you to do the opposite! But I would start bringing purchases back after you made them/satisfied him, so you are not bankrupt before the weekend!

I hope you find some peaceful, pixie-dusted moments on your vacation, you deserve them!

 

[smidgy]

I know this won't help on this trip, but maybe next time you could go in the winter months, when it's cooler.. one early dec we were actually freezing!

I, too suggest splitting up once in a while, not just for your sanity, but also to get some rides in for the older child.

good luck

 

[tjmw2727]

I'm a mom with 2 on the spectrum, so I really do know what you are going through, op. I strongly suggest that you switch off with your dh on who stays back at the hotel with your youngest son. It's a lot for one person to handle. You really need to switch off so each person gets a break. And you will be a better mom after having that little break. Lots of hugs to you. I know how isolated you must feel! I've been there.

This... and Hugs

You need time to enjoy the vacation and spend time with your older son, your younger son needs time with Dad so be sure and splt your time!

2nd the purchase of headphones if you can find them and definately bring the ipad to the parks if he likes it.

 

[ppony]

I'm back from a day of trying quite a few of your suggestions.
I'll abbreviate. Started off at O'hanas fir a 7:30 breakfast. Son only kept it "together" for about 3 minutes. DH took him out of the restaurant first... then tried it again. Came back just in time for his hero, the Big Cheese. That interaction made be burst into tears it was so sweet. But after that, he had another meltdown, so I took him out. The staff took pity on us and only charged us for 2 people. That happened at Cape May too wheere they didn't charge for him because he didn't even eat a Fruit Loop and laid on the bench the whole time. I think they were so kind and it was key to not ever ask or expect that.


Whoops, so much for brief.

Then, onto Epcot. We arrived right after opening and did the Nemo ride twice (because he liked it) and after looking at the fish, moved on to WS. We brought an umbrella with and that helped a LOT. awesome tip! The boys did a few boar rides and we just did the loop and left by 1. He was better. We're coming into an incredible defiant stage where he scratches, bites and hits. Us mostly, but he has reached out and just whapped other people. therapy and school has been seeing the start of this and so far, all we can do is grab his arms and/or bear hug him. Yeah, makes for a fun time.

So, I'll write more soon. He's been trying to get this pad from me from the last 20 minutes.
THANK YOU for all your words, advice and understanding!!!!

 

[Fort Bordeaux]

pp my heart breaks for you. my son is asd also and 4yrs old. glad you got some great tips for the trip. one other advice for future trips, picture schedules. we are from mass and travel to disney 2-3 times a yr and once the therapist suggested picture schedules it made a huge difference. of course we still only go to the park for about 3 hrs at a time. can you try to give your son deep presure massages before heading out? also you mention lack of wearing a winter coat, been there. hate to wrtie our long program how to get him to wear one but if you are interested please feel free to email me missmilamagic@yahoo.com hugs and hope you enjoy the rest of your trip