Here goes, please no flames

[Pooh67_68]

I am so glad to see I am not the only one!

So totally not the only one.

I seriously doubt I will feel anything when my Bio father passes.

 

[Twinkles6892]

I've never met my grandfather. I don't even know if he knows I was born. I'm just kind of waiting to see if we get anything to put in the WDW fund, which sounds cold, but I've never had any relationship with him.

 

[Sparx]

vent away. I can almost relate. my dad left when I was four. He hardly ever payed childsupport (once or twice) adn he called three times. I'm 14. he wrote two letters, one when I found out I have a half sister, and the other when I was seriously(seriously!) injured. Then one day, out of the blue, he shows up in town. (he was living in NOLA and Katrina blew him back into tennessee) There were some heated discussions and then he left. I'll probably never see him again, until he dies. I've always said it would be easier if he had just died, instead of putting all of us through this. I understand how you feel. Dont' feel guilty. You have no reason to.

 

[tiggerlover]

 

[L107ANGEL]

vent away. I can almost relate. my dad left when I was four. He hardly ever payed childsupport (once or twice) adn he called three times. I'm 14. he wrote two letters, one when I found out I have a half sister, and the other when I was seriously(seriously!) injured. Then one day, out of the blue, he shows up in town. (he was living in NOLA and Katrina blew him back into tennessee) There were some heated discussions and then he left. I'll probably never see him again, until he dies. I've always said it would be easier if he had just died, instead of putting all of us through this. I understand how you feel. Dont' feel guilty. You have no reason to.

Oh sparx

 

[tiggersmom2]

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I will feel the same way toward DH's dad. My dad is my dh's "dad".

(((HUGS)))

 

[ilovepcot]

Certainly understandable.

 

[slo]

I understand how you feel because my biological father and I have no relationship at all and the last time I talked to him was 7 years ago.

When his father died, he called my mom so she could tell me when the wake and funeral was if I was interested in attending. I wasn't interested and therefore I didn't go.

I'm sorry that you have to start off 2006 with these feelings, but when you need to talk, you know the Dis family is here for you!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

's

 

[Aidensmom]

Angel, it's normal to feel that way towards someone you don't even know. I am sorry for your loss though anyways. And you know you can vent to me anytime you need to.

 

[drakethib]

So I got the call last night. My Dad died. Before you all get upset, he left me completley when I was 8 and I had no say. I feel apathy yet guilty. Sorry, just needed to vent!

Very understandable.

No flames here.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, I can see how you'd feel apathetic. Regardless of whether he was your father or not, you had no relationship with him, by his choice. He chose to not make the effort to stay involved with you when you were a child, and it was his responsibility...he was the adult.

You know, we all have this idealized version of what "family" should be, and that you have to put up with people "because they're family" and all that jazz. It's nice for a Hallmark card, but the reality is that some of us have family members who behave badly, in many ways and on many levels, add nothing to our lives, and if anything, do things to hurt us. I truly see no need to involve myself with that type of person any more than I have to, if I involve myself with them at all.

Just because someone and I share the same blood doesn't mean I have to like them, or even want to know them.

 

[tmt martins]

no Flames here either I loved my COOL dad growing up until I got old and relised how destuctive a life he taught me and my brother .Mom finelly got the courage to leave him and he tried to turn us against her .I THANK MY LUCKY STARS this did not happen ( side note this was right after our return from my first trip to WDW I was 9).I stayed in and out of his life(he lived no more then 3 to5 blocks from us ) .When I started a family of my own I just couldn't accept or change his life style so I just had to stay away .He died a very lonely man

Remember a Father is a title on a document a DAD is a title in the heart.

 

[FergieTCat]

My dad was emotionally absent when I was growing up. He always made me feel like I was an imposition. We got along better when I was an adult, but there were always issues.

He died a few years ago, and I felt guilty that I wasn't completely distraught.

So I got the call last night. My Dad died. Before you all get upset, he left me completley when I was 8 and I had no say. I feel apathy yet guilty. Sorry, just needed to vent!

 

[Stacy_C]

I, too, will feel very indifferent when my biological father dies. I do not know him. I mean, I know who he is and would recognize him if I saw him, but he is not my father. He and my mom divorced when I was 2. That's the extent of our relationship...gone when I was 2...never to be involved again. Mom remarried when I was 4. My step-dad adopted me when I was 7. THAT'S my dad! He's the one who has attended my graduation, wedding, births of my children, etc. I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't miss not having my bio-dad around. This may sound harsh, but I don't need him and never have/will. I will probably think "That's too bad" when his death happens....like I would any other stranger.

Hugs to you....I completely understand.

 

[thelionqueen]

No flames, totally understandable.

 

[L107ANGEL]

It is kind of sad how many here know exactly what I am talking about. I know I hold family much more dearly as a result of all him.

 

[Pooh67_68]

Did anyones Bio father ever try to apologize?

A few years ago after his mothers funeral he tried apologizing to my sister and I for never being there, claiming at the time it was what he thought was best for the both of us. Well he was abusive so maybe it was, but he never ever tried to contact us and when my mom did bring us to visit his mother while he was visiting her, she used to make him stay to see us.

Well gee I'm sorry but if he had to be forced to stay and see his kids than he didn't really want to be bothered. But that's ok because my mother remarried and he is the BEST DAD EVER, and even today (I am 38) I am still daddy's little girl.

So see it does take more than being a sperm donor to be a dad.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Did anyones Bio father ever try to apologize?

Not to me. He did meet with my Mom a couple of months ago and did not mention me or my kids.