Help with trip!

[littleprissboutique]

Hey guys.

I am torn... I have been planning on taking Kaylee to Disney for her 4th bday. The only people that know is my hubby, and my mother. Last night my hubby decided he does not want to go because he says we have been on enough trips this year and we are going in January. I respect his decision. Then he adds that he does not want me to go. I dont respect that one. I have been planning for months now, and it was going to be a great trip with my mom too. She has only been on one trip with us since Kaylee was born. She went with us to Disney in 2003, and Kaylee was just 11 mo old ( she dont remember it ) . I love traveling. It makes memories. I want to go and have a great time with my dd and my mother. Does anyone think that it is right for him to ask this of me? We always travel with his family. Every time they want to go somewhere we are off. We are going to San Francisco next month and he did not hesitate. But, I want to take OUR daughter to Disney with my mother so we can bond and NO? He has always like my family. There is no drama, so what is the deal??? And money is not an issue????

I guess what I am saying is should I go or not go?

 

[hollyb]

Go ahead and go. If money isnt the issue. Personally I wouldn't do it. Vacations without DH would be very sad. The kids wouldn't step out the door if they knew if he wasnt going.

I think that at age 3 you have already bonded with her. I wouldnt use that to tell him why you want to go. JMOH.

 

[DisneysPrincess13]

I think you should go ahead. Your DH might have other reasons why he might not want to go. After all that planning I think it
was a bit odd to ask you that. If he didn't want to go in the first place he should've told you when you first planned your
trip. I personally would go because you wanted to spend time with your mom too and I wouldn't give that up. Talk to you dh and see if theirs any reason he dosen't want to go. Maybe if you talk to him he will re-consider.

Best of Luck to you!

 

[Harvest02]

I personally would go! If money is not an issue, than he has no right to ask you to cancel your trip. My DH is not a Disney fan either, and I had to pull his arm and leg to go on our June trip. I am planning another one for October 2007 and I can see him doing the same thing of not going along(and if he doesn't, I will take them myself or take my mom or sister). I am like you...I like to travel also and am going to be working 2 part time jobs this fall so I can earn money to take my kids back. I agree...memories made on vacations are important! Don't feel guilty about taking your child and spending time with your mom! I always say "You only live once" so why not enjoy yourself!!

 

[Schmeck]

We went last year without hubby (he said he didn't want to go, then later whined after I planned a trip with my mom and 2 daughters) and it was a lot of fun!

If I were you (and I like to cause a lot of trouble, you know ) I'd let your husband know that you've decided you don't want to go to San Francisco next month, and you don't think he should go either... Just to see his reaction, of course, LOL!

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I agree that you should talk to DH and find out why he changed his mind. After all the planning you put into it and the anticipation of celebrating your DD's birthday, it seems strange to change his mind unless there's a good reason.

I would also express how much planning you've done for it and how much it will mean to you (and to your mother.) Perhaps he doesn't realize that? Also your disappointment if he still would rather not go, but your willingness to go without him.

My DH and I have never vacationed separately before, but I would consider it if he just couldn't go and we'd been planning something like this. I hope you go, and while it would be different without your husband, it would be a lot of fun to have a 'girls only' trip!

 

[littleprissboutique]

Thank you all for the input. My husbands an odd one. The reason he dont want to go is simply this --- He is bored with travel (burned out) He says that if he is going to travel he wants to go somewhere he has never been. He said since we are going back in January he dont understand why we need to go in October. He told me that I should take my mom and my dd to the beach or do something else. I told him that if I am going to spend money on a trip for Kaylee's bday, it will be something she enjoys. I have been to the beach once this year and we are going again next month. I have had enough sand for one year. He just cant understand why a grown woman loves Disney so much. He thinks it is childish for me to love to go to Disney. I dont mind though, because I try to make the most of life. Life is short and my dd will only be little one time. I guess I am growning up with her... I love to see her eyes and face light up when we are at Disney. I told my hubby if he is so burned out on travel that he cant go to Disney for his dd's bday and can live with it fine. But one day he will wish he had gone... I guess I was trying to play the guilt game. But I guess I will go if he dont. I have never went anywhere with out him. I have never been more than one county away from him. I know it would be fun, but it would be hard for me to be that far away from him.... We are like peas and carrots..LOL

 

[cukak6]

My husband is the same way. He travels for work so doesn't like to get on a plane and go anywhere when he doesn't have to. So, my son and I are going to Disney in December with a girlfriend and her son. I have had so much fun planning and I think it's going to be a wonderful bonding trip. I would definitely go and have a great time!

 

[Myrtle]

Don't play games with him. My husband doesn't like to travel and has decided to stay home during our next trip to Disney. If it were somewhere new, I'm sure he'd go. We've been together since I was 16 (I'm 44 now) and we learned a long time ago to discuss the situation and understand when the other chooses not to go somewhere. Otherwise, you feel guilty for his not having a good time and he's not happy doing something you both knew he didn't want to do in the first place. Looks to me like you've gone much more than most people I know - maybe Diney twice in one year is a bit much to ask of him, huh? Go and enjoy (as long as money is really not an issue and everyone's health is good.)

Myrtle

 

[Schmeck]

Don't play games with him. My husband doesn't like to travel and has decided to stay home during our next trip to Disney. If it were somewhere new, I'm sure he'd go. We've been together since I was 16 (I'm 44 now) and we learned a long time ago to discuss the situation and understand when the other chooses not to go somewhere. Otherwise, you feel guilty for his not having a good time and he's not happy doing something you both knew he didn't want to do in the first place. Looks to me like you've gone much more than most people I know - maybe Diney twice in one year is a bit much to ask of him, huh? Go and enjoy (as long as money is really not an issue and everyone's health is good.)

Myrtle

It's not just that the OP's husband doesn't want to go, he told her she shouldn't go either...

 

[Myrtle]

You know what? I missed that point, didn't I? (SORRY!) To be truthful, I don't go along with one spouse telling the other what he/she can't do. It's a relationship. If you want to go, by all means ---- go!

 

[tatooed goofy]

I say Go GO Go and have a great time.

 

[princesspiglet]

I say go and have a great time! My DH just got home from Kosovo about 3 weeks ago (came home two weeks early) and my mom had already planned a quick getaway to the beach for her, myself and Athena over the 4th. I invited DH to go along, but he chose not to. We had a great time...girls only! In my opinion, you can never have too much bonding with your daughter, (or your mom) and you are making wonderful memories for her to look back on. I also agree that marriage is a partnership, you are still TWO people, not one. He has no right to tell you what to do and vice versa. Marriage is made of compromises AND respect. If he doesn't want to go, he needs to respect your decision to go. I also love DW more than most grown-ups. Heck, I have a minnie and mickey tattoo on my shoulder that I got when I was 30! My DH understands my obsession, just like I understand his with that darn Xbox.

 

[babynurse1]

Just an outsiders observation, it seems like you have traveled quite a bit in the past couple of years, and maybe he really is burned out. Go, have fun, and just be upfront about your plans. Have fun!