Help with school note/advice

[kidshop]

I hope I have the right subforum.

We are leaving this coming saturday for DW, first time ever for me taking my kids out of school and I am so upset over this that I was contemplating cancelling the trip.
I need some advice please!!!
My kids have off on Monday and Wednesday so they are tech. missing just 3 days of school. My plan was to just call them out on tue/thurs/friday, but my friend told me that when she went to disney last sept. during the holidays she wrote the core teachers a note saying that they will be away for the week and would like to know if there is any work that can be given ahead of time, etc etc. just to show we are being proactive....
my oldest is in her first year of HS
and I have two middle schoolers and a 4th grader......
if someone can please help me calm my nerves so we can actually have a good time and give any advice i would be greatly appreciative .

TIA
Danielle

Call me crazy, but your kids lives are unlikely to be ruined by missing 3 days of school for a family vacation. Even if they are in AP classes.... (if they are not in AP classes, well, their life is ruined anyway LOL!)

Go and have fun!

 

[princesspiglet]

But the student's 4 year GPA is submitted to colleges. If you tank in freshman and sophomore years, your GPA will be lower.

Well my best friends son just got accepted to University of Penn- which isn't easy to do- and his GPA freshman year was 2.5, sophomore year- 2.9, Junior- 3.4 and senior (so far) 3.5. His SAT scores were 1825 and his ACT was 22. He was also actively involved in community service, church and activities at school. Believe it or not, grades are not everything.

 

[luvsJack]

Its 3 days, its not the end of the world. What is the absence policy for your kid's school? As long as you are within that, don't worry about it.

I would email the teachers and just ask if they can tell you what will be covered during those days and letting them know your kid will be out. I would bet their plans are already made so they can just let you know what is going to be covered. Unless a test will be given, I can't imagine 3 days absence is going to make that big of a difference in your kid's grades.

If you are worried about the absences being excused, call or email the administrator and ask what you need to do to get them excused. If the absence is excused, they have to let them make up any work. 3 days is shorter than many illnesses kids get at that age.

DD missed school for trips. She graduated with a 3.8. Its ok.

 

[Nayan]

My daughter is in 2nd grade and we'll be going to WDW in December.

HUGE difference between 2nd grade and high school. Not even in the same realm!

I'd like to know how the OP's kids feel about missing a few classes. Do they have extracurricular activities that others depend on them being there for, like band, sports, etc?

 

[Magpie]

Honestly, when you actually get to hearing the details of the stories, they are almost never "CPS opened an investigation because we went to WDW". It's either "a friend of an aunt's cousin" or something (which means we don't actually know the real facts) had to go to court or it's people who got letters in the mail and absolutely nothing came of it. I've seen one of the letters a friend got. It's a form letter that says they "may" involve the school pupil personnel workers if unexcused absences continue. It's a CYA letter that they send out to all kids once they reach a certain number of days absent. For those that have real issues, it's the first of many warnings that they get, and also a chance for the family to talk to the school and ask for help if needed. For reasonably responsible families, it goes right into the circular file never to be thought of again.
The people who are actually involved with truancy court or CPS are doing far more than missing some days for vacation.

On the flip side, I do think parents have to respect a school's grading policy. If my kid didn't do the work when assigned (because they weren't there when it was assigned) than I respect that it's the schools prerogative to not grade the work. Then it's totally up to the individual parent and child to determine if the 0 is worth missing school.

Two seconds of Googling turned this up: http://www.people.com/article/mom-arrested-sons-sick-days-says-parents-should-be-able-write-notes

And this, which among others has the hilarious-in-all-the-wrong-ways story of "Brandi B." who was suspended from school, had the days of her suspension counted as unexcused, and ended up a ward of the state: https://www.themarshallproject.org/2015/03/06/inexcusable-absences#.QpjyKxiom

This one from the UK, where a father successfully got his fine overturned for taking his daughter to Disney World: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/educatio...ry-after-taking-daughter-to-Disney-World.html So it's not just an US issue (though the UK seems more focussed on fining parents, than on arresting them or taking away their offspring).

And while I am actually also in favour of respecting a school's grading policy, in our schools it's actually policy to give kids more than one opportunity to "demonstrate mastery of the subject". ("I can always write the test again, if it doesn't come out well.") My daughter once got a zero for missing an assignment... and that zero was then dropped from the final grade calculation, because the teacher had a policy of always dropping the lowest. I fully admit she got away with murder sometimes!

I'd think she was learning bad lessons... but she's now in her third year of University, with no forgiveness or second chances, maintaining straight A's and working in lab as an intern.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Not at all. If a child has an unexcused absence, they should have consequences for missing instructional time.

Except the child is then getting consequences for decisions made by the parent, which seems unfair. And doesn't help the student learn the material.

 

[HeatherC]

OP...are you really going to look back in ten years and think..." I wish didn't take my kids out of school for three days back in 2016?". Or will you look back and remember what an awesome family trip you had together.

Life is too short to stress over missing a couple days of school.

 

[Magpie]

But the student's 4 year GPA is submitted to colleges. If you tank in freshman and sophomore years, your GPA will be lower.

Not here!

In Ontario, they only look at your second term of Grade 11 (if you have any hope of early admittance) and first term of Grade 12 (if you don't). And if you tank your second term of Grade 12, you might lose your offer.

Four years of GPA submitted to colleges is just brutal! What if you lose a family member, have a bad year, experience a severe personal trauma...?

And hey, if you totally tank high school, you can always apply as a "mature student" in your early twenties, and they won't even ask for your high school transcripts. You might have to do a six month trial course to prove you have the basic skills, and as long as you get at least 70 percent, you're in. I have a friend who attended the University of Toronto with a guy who didn't even finish Grade 9. He was one of the better students.

 

[kmb584]

2nd grade < high school

'Tis true. I missed the part where the OP said her children were in high school. My bad.

 

[luvsJack]

Two seconds of Googling turned this up: http://www.people.com/article/mom-arrested-sons-sick-days-says-parents-should-be-able-write-notes

And this, which among others has the hilarious-in-all-the-wrong-ways story of "Brandi B." who was suspended from school, had the days of her suspension counted as unexcused, and ended up a ward of the state: https://www.themarshallproject.org/2015/03/06/inexcusable-absences#.QpjyKxiom

This one from the UK, where a father successfully got his fine overturned for taking his daughter to Disney World: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/educatio...ry-after-taking-daughter-to-Disney-World.html So it's not just an US issue (though the UK seems more focussed on fining parents, than on arresting them or taking away their offspring).

And while I am actually also in favour of respecting a school's grading policy, in our schools it's actually policy to give kids more than one opportunity to "demonstrate mastery of the subject". ("I can always write the test again, if it doesn't come out well.") My daughter once got a zero for missing an assignment... and that zero was then dropped from the final grade calculation, because the teacher had a policy of always dropping the lowest. I fully admit she got away with murder sometimes!

I'd think she was learning bad lessons... but she's now in her third year of University, with no forgiveness or second chances, maintaining straight A's and working in lab as an intern.

Suspension is, of course, unexcused, how would it not be? Between 2 kids, they had 55 unexcused absences over the 3 days allowed. That is a bit excessive. How is that "hilarious"?

The lady in Georgia's kid had 12 unexcused absences. The state of Georgia allows 5 and an additional 5 with a parent note.

No one is going to jail or failing school over 3 days in WDW. Now if the OP lets her kid miss a day or two a week every other week along with this trip, yeah, it could happen.

Most of dd's teachers dropped the lowest grade for each student. Many allowed them to retake tests that they have failed or not done well on. The object is to learn the material. That's not just a Canadian thing.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well my best friends son just got accepted to University of Penn- which isn't easy to do- and his GPA freshman year was 2.5, sophomore year- 2.9, Junior- 3.4 and senior (so far) 3.5. His SAT scores were 1825 and his ACT was 22. He was also actively involved in community service, church and activities at school. Believe it or not, grades are not everything.

That's crazy! Isn't it early to early for college acceptance? Those grades are bad, and those test scores? Is he disabled? A blind wheelchair bound Native American who discovered a cure for cancer?

 

[DopeyDame]

Two seconds of Googling turned this up: http://www.people.com/article/mom-arrested-sons-sick-days-says-parents-should-be-able-write-notes

This one is at least 12 unexcused days, plus other unspecified days when she did have doctors notes.

And this, which among others has the hilarious-in-all-the-wrong-ways story of "Brandi B." who was suspended from school, had the days of her suspension counted as unexcused, and ended up a ward of the state: https://www.themarshallproject.org/2015/03/06/inexcusable-absences#.QpjyKxiom

This one is *55* truancy counts - I'm assuming each unexcused day is a count. (Although the rest of the story really is horrible tragic)

So again, the horror stories of someone being hauled into court for missing 3 days of school just don't ring true.

 

[Magpie]

Suspension is, of course, unexcused, how would it not be? Between 2 kids, they had 55 unexcused absences over the 3 days allowed. That is a bit excessive. How is that "hilarious"?

So, what was the girl supposed to do in order not to be counted absent during her suspension? Come to school in defiance of the suspension? What's "hilarious" is the Catch-22 of being legally prevented from attending school, and then legally punished for not attending school!

 

[Magpie]

So again, the horror stories of someone being hauled into court for missing 3 days of school just don't ring true.

One hopes!

 

[sam_gordon]

What if you lose a family member, have a bad year, experience a severe personal trauma...?

Couldn't you say the same thing in just the Junior & Senior years? At least if you tank a Freshman class in the US, you have three more years to bring the GPA up.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well my best friends son just got accepted to University of Penn- which isn't easy to do- and his GPA freshman year was 2.5, sophomore year- 2.9, Junior- 3.4 and senior (so far) 3.5. His SAT scores were 1825 and his ACT was 22. He was also actively involved in community service, church and activities at school. Believe it or not, grades are not everything.

 

[DopeyDame]

Well my best friends son just got accepted to University of Penn- which isn't easy to do- and his GPA freshman year was 2.5, sophomore year- 2.9, Junior- 3.4 and senior (so far) 3.5. His SAT scores were 1825 and his ACT was 22. He was also actively involved in community service, church and activities at school. Believe it or not, grades are not everything.

Do you mean Penn State? Even for Penn State, he must have had some really impressive personal stories.
But UPenn strains credulity. Those scores are so incredibly far out of realm of an ivy league school that it would take a heck of a lot more than community service and some school activities to overcome that.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Total side note, but what a bizarre schedule being off Monday & Wednesday in the same week.

 

[anniemae]

Come back OP and update us about your thoughts!

 

[anniemae]

Total side note, but what a bizarre schedule being off Monday & Wednesday in the same week.

I was thinking the same thing! Then the OP said they are off today and tomorrow too (Jewish holiday?)