Help with Coping with Teen/Preteen Drama

[luvsJack]

There have been many threads on here about teen drama (I have posted a couple myself) so obviously every kid has to deal with it. Has anyone read a book or bought a book for their teen/preteen to read that will help them cope with it?

Dd just simply needs to learn to speak up for herself, how to deal with and stay on the outside of the gossiping cattiness of many of her peers and dealing with friendship jealousy. So I have looked online and found a couple of books on the subject but thought maybe someone here had found one that was really helpful.

Any suggestions would be great!!

 

[MUFFYCAT]

http://www.amazon.com/Courage-Yours...WVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284390080&sr=8-2

http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Bees-Wa...ence/dp/1400047927/ref=tag_dpp_lp_edpp_ttl_in

I read the Queen bees 7 years ago when my DD was in middle school and thought it was good.

 

[Magpie]

Not a book, but...

What's helped us most is just getting a few female friends of the family over, even grandma, and sitting around with my daughter (14) and having a "jam session" as it were. We listen to her talk about her experience at school, we brainstorm ways to deal with it, we argue, and we relate our own stories.

It's lively, and my daughter loves being an equal part of the conversation. It's more effective than just talking to her myself, because other people have different perspectives and experiences. And sometimes when every woman in the room is agreeing, my daughter can begin to understand that there might be something to our opinions and experience.

She can also see that I don't always have the answer, and - in fact - there often isn't just one right answer.

We've started doing this regularly over the last few years. I think it's really worked well for my daughter, and it's been fun for the rest of us.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I never bought a book that directly addressed peer pressure, but did try to find fiction books that dealt with the situation. I would ask the librarian for help if I couldn't find one. My daughter loved to read and the books were natural for her and she didn't think I was pushing help on her. I know she would have left a book about self-help unread. I think through movies and reading she did learn more than she thought. And don't discount magazines, many of the teen magazines will have an article with help and the kids will read them because they are "cool" for lack of better words.

Good luck, we have all been there, and I must admit, it has gotten much better over the years, and my once meek and quiet child has definetely found her own voice.

 

[luvmy3]

I think the American Girl library has several geared towards pre-teens.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dd who is now almost 14 read Life Strategies for Teens by Jay McGraw, Dr. Phil's son.

I think she read that many, many times.

Now I bought it for her older sister who refused to read it however to my surprise my younger one was the one to pick it up and read. I think she started reading it when she was in 5th grade, I think, even though it is more geared for the MS/HS crowd.

 

[mjkacmom]

Odd Girl Out - I went to presentation of the author's, and was really impressed, and learned a lot.

 

[luvsJack]

Thanks everybody!! I will definitly look into all the books you suggested and

I really like the idea of the "jam" session! I may talk to my niece about doing this with both our daughters (her's is only a couple of years behind mine) and getting my sister, both nieces, dgn, and one of my dil's, maybe even some other friends and their daughters! A regular "ladies night!" (the girls are all from different age groups and schools so none will have "drama" with each other). I had thought in the past of suggesting to our youth director at church that this would be a great topic for a girls' session at church, but I am afraid he would say, "great! I will set that up for you to teach!"