Help with Childs fear of flying

[Luvdisney]

Okay you all, I need your help. My 7 y.o. son is afraid to fly. Well at least he was when he was 4. On a trip to WDW when he was 4 we flew and he was fine until the plane made it's final approach to MCO. The plane banked really hard to the right, then staigtened out, then banked hard to the right again and then a few moments later we touched down. I really didn't think it was that big a deal. But when the plane banked the first time my son started screaming at the top of his lungs that the plane was tipping and we were all going to die! He was really terrified. We even had a stuart come back to make sure everything was okay. One women said to him later that's okay honey I thought the same thing. I didn't think much more about it until the flight home. I had to carry him on the plane kicking and screaming. He was having a panic attack. I was finally able to calm him down, but boy! oh boy. Then last year when we went to WDW we took the Autotrain down. It was nice but it took for ever! I'm starting to plan our next trip. Going in late Jan. for 1 week. So I want to fly to get the most time at WDW as I can. My wife thinks I'm nuts for wanting to fly again with him. She thinks I want to torture him. She thinks we should do the train again. So now I'm thinking if we do the train I should postpone the trip to the end of August when we can go for 2 weeks. I said to him the other day about maybe flying to WDW and he said no way the plane may tip again. What do you all think? I'm worried my son my never get over this fear of flying. Any suggestions? He's also, afraid of the dark. So he won't go on the POC ride because his sister told him it was pitch dark in the beginning of the ride. I know he would love if he went on it. He loves to sing a Pirates life for me and dress as a pirate. Sorry this is so long but, hoping someone may have a sugestion that helped them. I was reading on another post about hypnosis, but not sure if it would help a 7 y.o. I even tried to bribe him with a pirate toy after he went on. Almost worked, He at least walked through the doors, but got scared and ran out.

 

[ducklite]

Please don't take this personally. It sounds like your child might benefit from a couple sessions with a Psychologist. That does'nt mean he's a nutcase. Do'nt get me wrong. What it means is that he seems to have some phobias that could probably be quickly and easily worked out with the help of an experienced therapist who specializes in children.

If he is that terrified, then I need to agree with your wife. It is not fair to him, her, you, or anyone else on the plane. Remember, others have fears of flying, and a screaming, shreiking, kicking kid screaming we're all going to die isn't going to help them either. With the current wave of air rage issues, that's exactly the kind of behavior tha could trigger an incident. I'm not saying your kid would be at fault, but that's certainly something to think about.

So try the therapist route, it might also conquer the fear of darkness. You have plenty of time. But if it doesn't work, then do EVERYONE a favor, and take the train.

Anne

 

[KirstenB]

You have some time between now and the trip. Maybe some of his friends have flown, and he could talk to them about it. Or a beloved relative....our 3 year old (I know, big difference in age between her and your son) hangs on my sister's every word. It's a shame there's no such thing as like a 15 minute flight, just to help him get used to it. I wouldn't push too hard, but there may be some ways to quell his fears between now and then. If he's still scared, then definitely, the train.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Luvdisney,
I too have a son a little older than yours that has a lot of fears and phobias. We have had to work though a lot of different ones in the past.My DS is quite bright and tends to be more aware of things and events that some other kids may not .Bet your son is a lot like that. We have found with our DS that gently helping him face his fears is the best way to get over them.Three years is a long time since his plane trama and he may have built it up worse in his mind than it was.It might be time to help him face it. Remind him that you both love him dearly and that you would never put him in a situation that was not safe.Don't tell him flying is safer that driving.That backfired on us when DS did not want to fly.Then he did not want to drive either!Tell him that you both have decided that flying is the best way for your family to get to Disney.Assure him that you know that he is unsure about flying and you will help him any way you can.Ask how you might help him.Perhaps a new game or book to keep his mind off of things or flying early in the morning or at night.Give him as much control as possible with the flight.Assure him he can do it and you will be so pround of him.Focus on Disney, not the flight.Seven is a lot different that 4.That being said let me assure you it is much easier for me to write this than for you to have to do it. I have BEEN THRERE.This may not be something that you are comfortable doing.Only you can tell how afraid he realy is. Hope this at least give you something to think about.It won't matter how you get to Disney.As long as you get there.

BTW-For being afraid of the dark in rides-get a light up toy or flash light and let him take it on the ride with him!

Hope you have a great trip.

Jordan's Mom

 

[Luvdisney]

Thanks Jordons Mom, You said a lot of things that I have been tjhinking and you were right he is a really smart kid. I do know that I have to watch what I say so it dosn't back fire on me. Thanks I feel better now. I don't feel like I'm torturing him.....

 

[casmanuel]

Have you discussed with him that the "tipping" is normal? Maybe you could get a model airplane and show him how it makes turns by tipping its wings to the side and the people in the plane can feel that tipping. He needs to understand that every single plane tips when it turns. On my son's first flight, we went through some turbulence that scared just about everyone on board. Afterwards, I calmly explained to my son that the clouds are bumpy and make the plane bounce sometimes, like driving on a bumpy road. Fortunately he accepted that. Whew!

You son may have heightened sensitivities to sounds, motions, etc. When my DS was small, any activity that involved strangers touching him was a major ordeal: haircuts, trips to the doctor, buying shoes all led to screaming panic attacks. We did our best to cope with this, and he eventually outgrew it. Now he is chatty, friendly and very independent.

Finally, I'm not sure if you've been on the PotC, but not only does the ride start out dark, it is downright scary, with skeletons and daggers and wind blowing, a small but startling drop; even the "funny" part could be too intense for a highly sensitive child: gunfire and shouting, "explosions" that splash the water, and a burning town that most of us enjoy because of the remarkable realism. Let the Peter Pan ride be the testing ground, along with the PotC gift shop.

Congratulations to you and your wife for understanding the world through your son's eyes and not forcing him to get over "silly" fears.

 

[Luvdisney]

Good tip Casmanuel, I'm going to get his model plane out and try that. By the way he loves the Peter Pan ride. That too was an ordeal to get him on it. But once he rode it, that's all he talked about. He must have ridden it 5 times. Yes I have been on the POC. I know the first part is dark and scarry "Dead men tell no tales!". We have the WDW explorer CD and he loves the part on it about the POC ride. I want to make sure everyone knows I would never force him to ride anything he didn't want to, but I do feel that he would enjoy it if he would. Thanks for all your help!

 

[KellyJ]

I don't know if this might help but if you live near an airport, you might try visiting and watching the planes take off and land. It might help him to see people getting off safe and sound. You might also be able to arrange for him to speak with a pilot. Maybe he would be reassured if the person actually "driving" the plane could explain to him what he was feeling when the plane tipped. It has been my experience that most pilots go out of their way to explain things to apprehensive children. Flight attendants are good too.

Kelly

 

[TinkerbellRules]

My then 8 yr old DD cried through the entire POC last year! We weren't expecting the complete darkness nor the drop at the beginning of the ride last year. She didn't trust us the rest of the time. If the kids don't want to go on a ride, but you do, do the child switch. My DD hates anything dark and loud as well. She hated the Peter Pan ride when she was 5.

We're also flying and this is her 2nd time. She was 5 then, now 9. She's a little scared about it. Course, seeing that singer's downed plane today didn't help! I explained it was too heavy, small plane, etc, yes, they know how much weight a plane can hold, they annoyed it, etc.

If he really doesn't want to fly, my personal opinion is don't force it. Like someone else said, it wouldn't be fair to anyone if he's upset. Maybe when he gets a little older he'll overcome the fear. Sounds like he was really traumatized by the incident.

I can't see where you are from while I'm typing. Is it far?

 

[Luvdisney]

Washington, DC