Help what should I do? RANT

[fran99999]

OK my DS7 is not an angel and I know the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

My 7 year old was late getting to daycare last Friday Feb 10th. Apparently he and another child had an altercation. The other child claims my son hit him with his backpack. The other child in retaliation punched my son in the stomach. Now I can see my son throwing his backpack on and hitting this child. Intentionally probably not but hit him with backpack, probably. I have seen how he throws it to get it on.

Well the teacher saw part being my DS crying all upset. The other child claimed he was hit first. Off to the office now I agree up to this point. But this means that my DS 7 just turned 7 (feb 3rd) had to walk home from school alone no other kids and NO crossing guard. It is not that far from daycare but he had to cross the street by himself.

He showed up at daycare tramatized for:
1 having to go to the office.
2 having no one to walk to daycare with (he knows he is not allowed to walk alone)
3. He will miss recess all this coming week. I am not sure about the other child.
4. He was so upset I had to go get him from daycare early. He was cuddled up in the daycare person lap. ( daycare is at home daycare with woman I have known for 12 years.)

I know I have to address this but I am so mad about him being so upset and walking alone. I am afraid of how it will come out. From what I have heard this teacher is a real peach. Is about to retire and most past parents think this is the best thing.

She also told me at the beginning of school I needed to organize my house so my DS could do his homework with no interruptions. Also as my DM went into the hospital one night emergency she fell and knocked herself out. I took son with me so his homework was not done. He is special needs so homework is at least 1 -1 1/2 hours to do each night.

I had a flood from my Heating system. Slab house 3" of water everywhere. His monthly homework was due the day after the flood and was in his bag on the floor by the door so it would be ready. Homework and backpack got soaking wet homework was not salvageable. Answer from letter to teacher stating what happened. "Is this like the dog ate the homework?" Will it be done by tomorrow so it can be graded. I almost got it out of the trash all wet and stuck together and sent it in I was so upset.

Now this matter with my son. UUGGGGG

 

[pajamommy]

I also have a 7 year old son.....and this would upset me as well if it happened to him! Walking by himself seems unacceptable to me....also the homwork stuff.....my DD has been sick recently and she missed handing in her homework on time, which usually means what is called a "homework alert"...she doesn't want to get one of these.....but a note to her teacher is all it took to give her an extra day.....I don't see why the teacher in your sitch couldn't give him a little extra time given the circumstances.....good luck and

 

[DisneyTeacher]

Last week must have been a rough week for 7 year olds.

I would be upset about a 7 year old being sent out to walk home alone. That is not acceptable to me, the problem wasn't that serious and should have been delt with in the morning. I would focus on that when you go in, to me that is the main issue.

My 7 year old is now failing spelling because he forgot to put his name on his spelling test. One zero and his grade fell from a B to an F.

 

[ktpool]

I would be EXTREMELY upset about them having him walk alone! I would file a formal complaint with the superintendant. They should not keep a 7 year old after school without notice. They wouldn't do that to a bus student, I bet.

I am sorry about the trauma your son went through. Poor little guy. I have a 6 year old and would be furious if that happened

 

[tw1nsmom]

I would be very angry about having your son walk alone. They should have called you when they kept him after school.

If your son was truly involved in the altercation (started it), I wouldn't have a problem with the punishment of no recess, as long as the other student had the same punishment.

I also think you need to address with his teacher and possibly the committee on special education the amount of homework your son has each night. A child his age shouldn't have 1-1 1/2 hours of homework a night. If your son's disability is what is making it take so long, then they need to look into modifying the amount of work he takes home.

As for "the dog ate the homework" comment, I would have definitly sent in the wet papers. My goodness, what grade is your son in? First or second? I know it's important to teach responsibility early, but that teacher needs to get over herself (just to clarify, I'm talking about the actions/comments of this one teacher based upon what the OP has said).

 

[Shutterbug]

I dont have any children but do have neices and nephews and in this world of ours the thought of them having to walk alone....

 

[clh2]

My 7 year old is now failing spelling because he forgot to put his name on his spelling test. One zero and his grade fell from a B to an F.

My DD must have this woman's sister when she was in 3rd grade. IMO, that teacher should have taken something off for a penalty (maybe 3 or 5 points). But to get a ZERO for just forgetting your name? That is just ridiculous, and only teaches someone in 1st or 2nd grade how to HATE school.

Sorry for hijacking the thread.

Not to ignore the OP - I would be somewhat ticked off at the walking situation too. You mentioned your DS is special needs, does he have an IEP? From what I know about those - which is VERY LITTLE - you really have to be the advocate for your son on those. If the current one isn't working (i.e. the hour or more of homework per night), can't you look at modifying it?

 

[DisneyTeacher]

My DD must have this woman's sister when she was in 3rd grade. IMO, that teacher should have taken something off for a penalty (maybe 3 or 5 points). But to get a ZERO for just forgetting your name? That is just ridiculous, and only teaches someone in 1st or 2nd grade how to HATE school.

That's what I am worried about most, no 7 year old should hate school. We spend at least 30 minutes a night on spelling, he has 17 spelling words a week and 3-5 dictation sentences for a total of 40-55 words a week. Every word counts the same so missing a word in a sentence is equal to missing a spelling word. We've put in too many hours for him to get an F on his report card just because he forgot his name on a test, that's just silly.

 

[Aidensmom]

I would be very upset that my child that age was left to walk alone. They should have called you. I understand it could have been an accident that he hit another child with his backpack, but if they did not see that part, I think they were just being fair and I would not get too upset about that.

But the dog eating the homework comment? Believe me, that teacher would have known better than to ever say something like that to me again. She would have gotten the wet papers and I would not have held back my feelings about the whole thing.

I don't blame you at all for needing to vent. I would call the principal and demand that if my child was every kept after school again that I was called right away. 7 is still very young.

 

[paigevz]

Gee whiz. I teach 7 year olds. Stuff happens to the homework. It's crazy to have "monthly" homework! I tried to go weekly, and it didn't work, so back to daily in my class. I will accept parent notes "officially" one homework night's worth a week. Unofficially, I accept anything they send in! I am trying to lay a foundation of responsibility for something, not a hate for homework (it'll come soon enough anyway!).

About going to the office, almost the exact same thing happened in our yard last week. One pushed the other over a rock, and claimed the other had hit him in the mouth with the backpack (demonstrated a facing, deliberate slapping-at motion). They did both have to go to the office, and in fact, both got in school suspension. I don't give the consequence, and we have absolutely no room to move when it comes to fights.........both must go down to the office, and AP decides if one or both were at fault and what the consequence is.

About walking home alone.........if he'd told me he had to walk and wasn't supposed to go alone and all others were gone, I'd've called home to explain the situation and ask for a pick-up. We do have some 7 year olds who are supposed to walk alone, it is the parent's decision, so if he didn't tell me he shouldn't, I wouldn't have known. Just a thought.

And to the homework amount. If he has IEP, you should bring up a needed change in regards to the homework. I do have a student now who the mother considers special needs, but does not "qualify" for services. He has had testing done, and was not found to need more than the usual classroom. He does have to do the same homework, regardless of how long it takes him. This mother in fact, is quite upset with me that I ask him to do it. Sorry, my hands are tied here too, due to our district homework policy. For most children the homework takes 30 minutes. I feel for this mother, as my son had a similar difficulty and it was torturous nightly at this same age. There's just nothing I can do for her.

And to the other poster whose son got a zero for spelling due to no name. Ridiculous. Would never happen in my classroom. I don't take any points off ever for that. They are still learning. If a daily assignment doesn't have a name, I have a designated table where it goes for claiming.......at the end of the week, I throw it out, and the child will have to redo it when I go through missing assignments. We build in time for finishing and redoing assignments, so it's never a problem to have it done again. I point out each paper to the kids and distinguishing marks (who did their lady in pink?) when I put the paper on the "no name" table. If it is a child who does it habitually, I usually learn to recognize theirs and just call them over to put their name on.

Sorry you both had to put up with that. It is so hard to have a child in a class or with a teacher who just doesn't do it right! I'm a teacher, and have had my own child in some classes like that too........makes it doubly tough! I would say, always, always let the teacher know when you disagree with something. It may even be policy, and she may let you know that, but at least you advocated for your child. If it's not policy, you just may change her mind.........I've made some changes over the years based on parents who spoke up.....if they hadn't I wouldn't have known there was a problem! Good teachers don't mind interested parents coming in and calmly discussing a problem, even if we can't change it. It is always nice, too, if you happen to mention what you are happy with that we do in the same convo!

 

[tw1nsmom]

paigevz - Can you come and work at my kids' school? We actually do have a lot of great teachers, but we could always use one more. Your students are very lucky.

 

[fran99999]

UPDATE:

I called the school today and spoke with the principal. She was upset that the children walked home alone. I stated my DS told me the other child walks to/from school also. I am sure it was addressed with the teacher as the principal then put me on the phone with the teacher. I reiterated that I as upset about my son walking home alone. Did he hit the child with his backpack, Maybe. I could see it happening, I could also see another child hitting my son with a backpack when putting on/removing. I asked if addressing the altercation right then was more important to her than the safety of my son ie walking home alone. She stated she watched him walk to the end of the school property. I told her the crossing guard had already left so he had to cross the street himself. The principal agreed that the crossing guard only stays for about 5 min as all walkers are gone by then and he returns to the school (Janitor). The teacher (who has been at this school for 20 years) said she didn't know this she thought he stayed for at least 20 min to 1/2 hour.

So the teacher agreed not to keep ANY child after school without contacting the parent. I made sure she had my cell # to call me at any time day or night. If there is a need for my son to stay after school for detention or whatever to contact me and I will approve the tardiness and will be at the school to meet my son so he does not leave school property alone. I am very lucky to work on the other side of town. So this is a 15 min drive in an emergency. I mean I know my son is not perfect.

The homework will be addressed as she agrees the timeframe is out of line. He will start to get specialized homework assignments. He is forgiven for his Jan homework as I asked the principal what would be needed for this as I threw it out as it was unsalvagable. I agreeded to add some extra homeworkf from this months chart to makeup.

Thank U all for calming me down and letting me rant as the MAMA bear cub was ready to rumble.