Help!! What do you do when 22month old has a screaming meltdown at Disney?

[LeahA]

My son for the last month has been having these horrible temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way, any advice on what to do when I'm at Disney if this happens?

I have an older son who had tantrums but not too the extent that this little guy has. If he has one at home, we try to just ignore it, but, sometimes we give in just to keep the peace.

Please help with any and all suggestions. By the way, he won't take a nap in the afternoon, unless he's in the car or his crib at home.

We leave in 12 days!

Leah

 

[matty624]

I sympathize . Our dd is 3 and a half and our ds is 30 months old. We're flying from the UK in August, it takes 9 (captive) hours by plane, and I'm not looking forwards to it. We did it last year however, and I can tell you now that travelling and Disney aren't quite as special when you have grumpy toddlers with you.
However, it's still worth it! To answer your question... We've found having lots of down time between the rushing about helps. A good stroller which they can lie down in is another advantage, we always bring our own. Lots of sweets (can be healthy like raisins) and plenty of drinks. Use distraction during a tantrum, anything will do, remember you're dealing with a easily upset/cheered up small person!
Let us know how you get on.
Ian

 

[Dr. Happy]

Never give in, because they learn that all they have to do is throw a humongous fit and they will get what they want...

Here's what you need to do. When your "little cherub" asks for something, or demands something (I really don't know your child's style), use your best emotionally neutral voice and tell him "No." When he begins to tantrum, verbally prompt him once by saying in your best emotionally neutral voice, "If you don't calm down I will have to take you to a time-out place until you quiet down." Naturally, your little cherub, if he is like any other normal child, will "up the ante" and start to tantrum even more. That is when you scoop him up and you walk him to the nearest restroom where he can finish out his tantrum in a stall. This plan, applied methodically and consistently, will end any tantrums he has after just a few trials of this.

As a psychologist who works with children & families, believe me, this approach will work. But remember: Never Give In!!

Good luck!!

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Leah A,
Sounds like you have a normal 2-year old! It's a lot easier to give advice now that mine is nine and not two. Remember that anyone looking at you has either been there or has no clue so don't worry about that. My advice would be to try to handle it the same way you do at home as much as possible. If you ignore it at home, try to find a way to ignore it at WDW. If you give a time out at home try to give one of some type there. WDW is full of overstimulating situations. Try to not let him get overtired, hot or hungry. Yea right LOL. Remember you are in a strange place with lots of new and sometimes scary places. I'm not saying to give into him but be sinsitive to situation. Remember, that safety is number one issue. If you decide to give a time out or let him have a tantrum, make sure it is a safe place. I don't see a bathroom stall as a safe place, hard floor and a dirty tolet in the there. When my DS was little I would give him a timeout by pushing the stroler up to a brick wall where he could see nothing and just ignored him for a minute.
Be positive, he will be getting all of your attention and have lots of fun things going on, bet the tantruns will be less than at home.Have fun and enjoy that wonderful age!!


Jordan's mom

 

[sjjdbatch]

OK, I agree with DR HAPPY as an early chilhood teacher, but as a parent it is so hard! If you are going to be firmer than usual start long bfore your trip so he'll know what to expect. A strange place, dif. routine, and all of a sudden mommy being firm is so confusing! iF YOU USUALLY GIVE IN (NOT GOOD, BUT IT HAPPENS) AND ARE GOING VERY SOON. bE CONSISTENT AND GIVE IN AT dISNEY TOO. tHEN TRY THE NEW APPROACH WHEN BACK AT HOME. Sorry about the caps! I have 2 very different preschool age boys. All the early childhood redirection stuff works with one. With the other, I usually cave first(not good). Removing him to a quite place such as the bathroom until he gets is control is most important and takes the pressure off of you having onlookers. Most important keep your humor and pick your battles (safety issues only to start)

 

[vicb]

Find water.... a fountain, Donald's boat, those interactive spash areas.... it seems to calm and distract kids. But I do agree with all the other advice about saying no and being calm and consistent too.

 

[Spinning]

You may be surprised but you may have no problems at all in Disney....he may be so excited and happy to be there and so much stuff going on he may not have time to melt! May be wish-full thinking but I don't know your child.
One thing I have learned is keep them well fed and watered! My kids are usually pretty good and we really haven't had major tantrums. But I know with my DS if he doesn't get enough to eat or drink during the day he will get very winey which for me is tough to deal with.( for him this has always been a bigger problem than lack of sleep) So keep lots snacks and drinks with you. Also taking breaks is another big thing. Realize at this age you won't see everything you want and will miss some stuff.
And if possible give him some choices about the day, take turns picking rides granted he is young and can't do everything his older sibs can do so that can run into problems.
I have to agree consistancy is the key and to not give in to every whime. Also when we are in the parks or any type of outing with shops and places to spend money we tell them the same thing, shopping is for on the way out (have to tell DH that too! He loves the junk shops!) That way they know they will have time to look and get something later. We just let them know it is too hard to carry, to easy to get lost etc...again at 22 months this is hard to explain but we just do and my kids seem to understand.
Oh and I wouldn't use a bathroom for a time out to yucky in my mind! Plus depending on the tantrum style he could get hurt in a bathroom stall.

 

[LeahA]

Thanks for all the responses, I guess as a parent we have to think before we do something. Just the other day we were at a local mall, my ds wanted to get out of the stoller, I wouldn't have let him, but, I was in the store and my dh was with my ds waiting for me. Well, needless to say, my dh took him out of the stroller. When we tried to put him back in he proceeded to scream for about an hour. I have to say that I do give in sometimes, not always, but sometimes. I think that taking him to a cool, shaded place to have a meltdown it probably what I will do. I will have tons of snacks and drinks with, so hopefully that will help as well.

Leah

 

[vald1977]

Hi LeahA!
I just wanted to tell you that it sounds like we will be there with our 2 year old at the same time you will (we leave April 26th) for our first trip. I have been starting to worry about just this issue too. Most days ds is pretty good but I have no idea how he will react when at wdw!! I know that the one thing I am planning on doing is trying my best to keep him going to bed and getting up at the same time he does at home. He does not go for naps lately, either. I am also bringing my "leash" that dh hates but I would rather have it and know he is safe. I am having nightmares of him just sprinting off when he sees Mickey. Hopefully, our little ones will pleasantly surprise us and be wonderful on vacation. If not, we might just meet eachother under that shaded tree! Good luck and have fun!!

 

[LeahA]

Vald1977,

I was thinking about buying a kid leash too. I don't really like them, but, it's one way to keep the little guy safe if he wants to get down and walk around.

Leah

 

[tjmw2727]

Two year old's can be trying and fun, try and enjoy as much as you can while your teaching. I would suggest you come up with a plan for tantrums while at home. Decide what you are going to do or not do when he tantrums, follow through and be consistant. Don't change your strategy because your going on vacation and don't change it while on vacation - this will backfire. I loved the book "Your Two Year Old" by Ames & Illg, they have one for every age.
They helped remind me what was appropriate for 2yos and why they do what they do. Then I could deal with behaviour in a more consistant manner while allowing my dd's to learn and grow - within boundries.

My guess is that with lots of attention and fun at WDW the tantrums will be fewer and mostly in transition periods. IE leaving the pool or not understanding you just can't ride Pooh again!

We used a harness at WDW and found that one straped to a belt loop or fanny pack worked much better than the one that goes around the wrist - hth. We used it as a last resort and always held hands or had dd in stroller. The harness was that last protection against the impulse to check out all the wonderful things to see.

Have fun
TJ

 

[npall]

I hope that I don't offend anyone when I say this.. I have a 23 month old (will be 2 in May) and he is your typical toddler but he is very strong willed...( he gets it from both his dad and I) and I am happy to say that I do not worry about a temper tantrum in public. You know why? Because I don't allow them at home...

This is just my opinion ( please keep the guns in the holsters)..kids especially toddlers very soon begin to realize what their "safe" zones are and being in public is one of them..If you don't put a brake to it at home don't expect your child to act differently in public

You say that you ignore it at home..that's the problem! I think it's unfair to the child to get disciplined or put in time out in public because mom gets so embarrassed by the outbursts and the fact that everyone is looking that she feels she needs to do something...this is using discipline for the wrong reasons. We shouldn't discipline our children because they embarrass us but more because this kind of behavior is ugly and the child needs to learn to control his anger (which he will use this kind of self control for the rest of his life)

So when he throws a temper tantrum at home use whatever method of discipline you feel comfortable with (time-out, spanking, taking away a toy) but do it consistently. You will see over time that your son will learn to better control his outburst at home which in turn it will carry over in public.

Please don't take this as a judgment but you are not doing your son any favors by allowing this behavior to continue.. because when he gets into pre-school or kindergarten his teachers will not just ignore his behavior..so might as well start teaching him the proper way to act now..

Love,

Naomi

 

[BevS97]

just a thought on leashes - my dd wore one most of the time we were in WDW last year. We have tried many varietys, and found that the wrist ones are not so good - my dd really objected to having it on her arm - it interfered with whatever she was trying to do. However, when we attached the leash to her waist pack that worked great - it didn't get in her way. If she was in a safe area, we would just tuck the strap into the waist band out of her way, and if we needed to use it, then she was already wearing it.

I think you need to put the leash on first thing in the morning. If it's on every day, then it becomes accepted, whereas if you wait until they are playing up and then try and use it as a punishment, they will fight against it.

Bev

 

[LeahA]

Thanks to everyone for their insight. I think there are times you need to ignore the tantrum, but, that's just my opinion. I realize that everybody's style of discipline and parenting is unique to themselves and their children. I appreciate everyone's thoughts on the subject. I'm sure we will have a great time at Disney, we have a very loving family and we usually always have fun together. Some behavior is not acceptable anywhere, Disney, at home, at a restaurant etc... and I do realize these situations, and I do deal with them.

If anybody else has suggestions on what to do with a two year old that's tired, overstimultaed, and just plain cranky, let me know!

Leah

 

[LADYnTRAMP]

Break out the camera! Then do whatever you need to. You can always tell them that you're taking their picture so later they can see how they looked with all those people around! I did this at home once with my toddler on the floor on her back (she's now going on 15!) and I love that picture. At the time it's not so funny but years from now you will look at it with a whole different perspective. Just remember. this too shall pass. Just pray for wisdom and patience!
Susan

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Leah,
You are right that ignoring a tantrum is sometimes the best bet. As a parent and as a preschool teacher I have seen it work well. It's just like everything else, as long as you are consistent. I think most toddlers tantrums are over attention and control. Ignoring them takes both of thoses things away. When my DS was little we decided that was how we would handle any tantrums he might have. He had a total of two. One at home and one at the grocery. Both times I walked away(never taking my eyes off him at the store) and told him when he was done to come join me. Neither lasted more that a minute. I have had a few students in my classes over the years that throw tanturms at home and always get lots of attention for them.Positive or negative.In my class if they try it, I just find them a nice soft place live a reading corner and tell them when they are finished to come back and join the class. It might take a couple minutes sometimes, but it has never failed me. You are so right that every parents has to use what is best for their child. My firend can not ignore her daughter's tantrums and has used lot of different things. You know your child best. Have a blast with him.


Jordans' mom

 

[robinb]

My 2 1/2 year old doesn't have too many temper tantrums, but she does push my buttons in other ways . We have been to WDW at 23 months, at 25 months and at 27 months. We'll be there again at 33 months in 3 weeks.

Back in July (23 months old) she began to want to walk everywhere. Of course, she wouldn't hold my hand for more than a second or two and she would eventually wander away. Instead of attaching her to me via a "leash", we had the rule that if she wandered away and did not return to the sound of my voice she was placed in her stroller. I would warn her what was going to happen (the dreaded stroller) give her a 1-2-3 countdown and then out her into the stroller. I would get the occasional "evil look" as I forced my screaming child into the stroller . Good thing I didn't have to do it too much. 90% of the time after she knew that I meant business she was back next to me when I called.

 

[susy]

Leah,
Are you staying onsite???
As a parent/early childhood educator, here are my suggestions:
1. I agree that kids need to de disciplined, so that they learn self-control. "I refuse to raise a Brat" by Dr. Ruth Sharon (excellent book). I got it on audiotape at the library (read by Marilu Henner). This book is sooo funny!

2. My son is 4 and rarely throws tantrums. HOWEVER, at Disney, he becomes a "three hour baby" all over again.
Our park strategy is:
Arrive way before opening
Break after lunch and return in the evening

3. I would take him back to the room (let the rest of your party stay and have fun) for a swim, some alone time with mom or dad, play with him in the room and read a book, have snack and lay down together (if he will), lay him in the playpen , or stroll aroudnthe grounds till he passes out. He will need this downtime daily- away from people and all that stimulation. The sun, water, and then the coolness and darkness of the room should help to calm him down.

4. Just remember he's only 2 and can only take so much ! Hey! I must be 2, also!

 

[LKS]

The main thing is taking that Break! Even my 4 yo gets hysterical the first time he doesn't get what he wants when he is overtired. And we NEVER give in, so that's not it. He just can't deal with things when he is tired. I am guilty of overstaying when everyone seems to be having fun, then exhaustion hits like a brick and there is a meltdown.

You should have seen us at Dollywood on spring break. We stayed until 3pm because everyone was having a great time - big mistake. Then the 8yo looked at me and she had a rip-roaring case of pink-eye. Time to go. Well, 4yo wanted to ride log flume before we left. We explained that sister was sick, we would ride tomorrow, blah, blah blah. No dice. I carried him screaming and crying out of the park. He cried all the way to the car, a long tram ride, but after I got him in his car seat he was snoring in 3 minutes.

Please let me learn from this and not skip those breaks - even when we are having fun!

 

[TaraB]

Leah, we must be close to each other-just moved to edge of Aurora. I would guess you were at Fox Valley-quite a few distractions at that mall to merit a tantrum. I understand what you're going through, it's not easy, although I must say that my oldest, who was 2 1/2 when we went to WDW for the first time, was quite good even though he was VERY difficult in everyday surroundings. I think the advice about quiet time is good and NAPS in the middle of the day are a godsend for "little-one's attitude adjustments". I'm going to try the quiet time thing to prepare for our trip in October-he's now 5 and still VERY difficult-Good Luck!
Have a Disney Day!
Tara