Help w/ our research..list your peeves.....

[bubba's mom]

I hate lemon in my iced tea so I always specify "no lemon" when ordering. Half the time the server forgets and brings it anyway and the other half they just pick the lemon off the glass and I'll have a lemon seed floating in my tea. I try to be nice about sending it back but I still get lots of rolled eyes or deep sighs when I do.

me too

It used to bother me when a server took too long to bring our check at the end of the meal but we found a great solution. If time has dragged on with no sign of the check we simply get up and make our way to the door. Only once has anyone failed to notice and we simply told the hostess that we were leaving and if they wanted us to pay they better get our check fast.
We've only had to use this idea a few times but it sure beats sitting around at the mercy of the waiter.

We do this also....and only once did we actually leave w/o paying. We were in Ocean City, MD (pre-kid) and went to a buffet breakfast. Well, the service was great. Our drink order was taken as soon as they got us to a table. By the time we got back from buffet, drinks were there. Very nice breakfast we had that day! Well, lemme tell ya, it took SO LONG to GET the check...we waited 1/2 hour (w/ 2 warnings to bring the damn thing) and we left--literally walked right out the front door! Didn't pay, didn't tip. And the poor kid was doing so good!! And that was the thing...it was a buffet...so, how much did he really have to do?? And, the place wasn't big..it was a diner-type place...so, I can understand if he was busy, but he had 2 warnings to bring the check as he passed by our booth...and nuthin'. Kinda felt sorry for the guy, cuz it probably came out of his check, but, hey....I'm not waiting LONGER to PAY for the meal that took me 1/2 the time to eat!

 

[luvflorida]

me too
I'm not waiting LONGER to PAY for the meal that took me 1/2 the time to eat!

HaHa! I know what you mean! The opposite of this is being seated at the table, given menus, then having to wait an eternity before the waitperson returns. My husband and I recently came very close to just walking out of a restaurant because of this. We are patient people, but the wait was ridiculous. It wouldn't have been quite as bad if she had at least stopped by to tell us she'd be with us shortly.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I guess my only real annoyance is not being acknowledged by a waiter/waitress within 10 minutes of being seated. Just let me know that you know we are there.

Wow, the contradictions in this thread continue! How as a server should I know to either (a.) bring a child's meal out quickly or (b.) don't bring the child's meal out until everyone's is ready; (a.) refill your coffee, tea, etc. when it gets to 1/2 cup or (b.) don't refill until it is empty; (a.) clear dishes as people are finished or (b.) don't clear until everyone is finished ? A lot of these things are personal preference. Sure, servers can ask, but maybe there is conversation going on and they want to try to be unobtrusive. When we eat at a restaurant, we try to roll with things as every experience will be a little different.

Children's meals should be brought out with the rest of the food unless the family requests otherwise. Crackers, crayons, and the like should be given to the parents without being requested.

Go to the table to refill coffee/tea. The old hand gesture of No More, thanks, can be given...or you can say, "Would you like a refill?" This is done when you swoop the room with your coffee.

Etiquette requires that dishes not be cleared until everyone has finished. So, leave them unless someone asks that they be cleared. Let them be the rude one.

 

[taximomfor4]

I always knew I could never hack it as a waitress! There's just no pleasing everyone:

--Be friendly (but no small talk, and watch even the smallest thing you say--if you greet me with a benign word I happen not to like, no tip for you!)
--Get my order right (but don't crouch down so you can hear me)
--Refill my drink (but don't disrupt my perfect tea/sweetner balance)
--Offer me dessert (But don't try to sell me anything I don't want)
--Bring my check promptly (but don't rush me out because I like to liger over a meal)

Sheesh!

It's not that there aren't things that annoy me, but I never really appreciated until now how hard it's got to be to please people who think they own you for the cost of a tip. It's like people are drunk on the power of the $5 they might leave the waiter and see it as justification to pick at the tiniest things!

I am feeling the same way, reading this thread. I am trying to keep in perspective that this list of things is written by many people. True, though, that different people want different things. The big one that several have mentioned is "Bring the kids food right away, even before ours. Or bring crackers." The reason this is not always done is because not every family wants it so. I very carefully plan out what time to arrive at a certain restaurant in order to be seated and place an order at a certain time. That certain time is the average time we eat dinner at home. My kids cannot have their meals before ours, because then they finish early and I don't get to finish mine in peace. They cannot eat crackers while waiting for their food, because then they will not have room to put the food I just bought for them. If for whatever reason I DID want their food brought out ahead of time, I would just request it.

I am pretty easygoing as far as restaurant customers go...I started my waitressing years at Dennys - third shift. Or second-third doubles. What peeves do I have for your research?

--> Keep sugar caddies filled. Saves you a trip later when you are in the weeds and a customer needs more. (Oops, this isn't a peeve, it is advice)

--> Business-type people who are obviously out on lunch break, and families with small children, will be getting antsy once their meal is done. Be aware of that, and plan to drop off and pick up the check rather promptly. (Once again, just advice)

--> Don't sit at my table with me, to take my order. Thats not criminal, but is sort of awkward. In a loud environment, crouching is ok, IMO. It is better than bending down, which would be a nightmare on the back. (More advice, lol)

--> I understand that servers must suggestive sell -- I remember the constant feedback we got from management. But please, when approaching a table with small children, don't offer "dessert" but maybe ask "anything else." This one is not really a peeve either. Just another suggestion.

I can't really think of any really big peeves. Serving is a tough balancing act. Don't hover, but don't be scarce. Every customer would define the ideal happy medium differently. I tend to want a more scarce server (or at least a less obvious one)...if my drink is empty, I will put the glass right to the edge of the table. I usually get a refill quite quickly.

My biggest TIP: Don't eat yellow snow. /jk
Really, I had a manager that told us this: " You can't be a good server with blinders on. The worst thing you can do is have tunnel-vision." Meaning, be watchful. Patrons may be trying to catch your eye.

 

[Talking Hands]

Just because you see me and my companion using sign language don't assume we won't be able to communicate with you. Not only deaf people use sign language now days.

Please when my husband tells you to face me while talking do so. I'm hard of hearing and need to see your face so I don't miss what you are saying.

Pls keep my drink filled.

Pls bring the bill promptly.

Come back with my change and don't assume it is your tip. I tip well. My daughters are servers.

If I ask for Splenda don't bring me Equal. Just tell me you don't have it and I'll deal with no sweetener.

Don't get pissy when I ask what is in an item. I have food allergies and don't want to risk getting ill or worse. If you don't know for sure don't guess, just tell me so and I will choose another item I know is safe.

Don't substitute without checking with me first. I may not like that or I may have an allergy to it.

Unless you are one of my daughters or their close friend don't tell me your life story. And if you are my daughters or their close friend you can tell me at home or call pls.

Don't stand behind me and try to talk to me. I hear you but I usually have no idea what you said and my husband will just need to repeat it to me. Waste of time and energy.

 

[Talking Hands]

That's happened to me too!!! They talk to your companion. Granted I'm not in a wheelchair full time but I still can relate. Once Dh and I went to dinner. The waiter kept talking TO Dh ABOUT me but never spoke to me. Finally, when the waiter asked what I'd be having, without missing a beat or looking up from his menu Dh replied "A hissy fit if you don't ask her directly". The look on the waiter's face was priceless. I'm sick, not deaf or mute.

Deaf and mutes are perfectly capable of ordering for themselves. In fact they get very good at it. I never interpret for my deaf friends at a restaurant unless they specifically ask me to and I have yet to see one have a problem ordering a meal. All customers should be addressed directly unless informed otherwise by someone with the person.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Deaf and mutes are perfectly capable of ordering for themselves. In fact they get very good at it. I never interpret for my deaf friends at a restaurant unless they specifically ask me to and I have yet to see one have a problem ordering a meal. All customers should be addressed directly unless informed otherwise by someone with the person.

Very true. That was a poor choice of words for me and I apologize

 

[mom2boys]

Wait staff should check to see if all is okay or if we need anything a few minutes after food is delivered. If you ask as you deliver the food, I might not realize my kid wants ketcup for his fries.

I don't appreciate the manager interupting personal conversations to ask us how we are all doing today.

When I ask how something is prepared, give me an honest answer. I am asking because my children have life-threatening food allergies. And if you don't know, find out.

 

[bubba's mom]

I don't appreciate the manager interupting personal conversations to ask us how we are all doing today.

good one! forgot about that....surprised it didn't come up till now!

 

[bubba's mom]

gotta bump.....