Help us survive a move to a new State with our autistic sons and elderly Mom!

[Nik's Mom]

Hi,
We are moving to the Kansas City area with our 2 autistic sons and my elderly Mom. Mom is kind of freaking out because she has lived in Southern California for 77 years. She has arthritis and is worried how she will handle the cold. Those of you with arthritis, how do you cope in the cold?

Second question, has anyone moved out of state with their autistic child? I'm worried that the kids will be a wreck! Any tips or suggestions? We will be moving in a few months and I want to try to make the transition as smooth as possible.
The worst part is that we cannot wait until the end of the school year. DH's job is moving in February. I will stay here with the kids until the end of May, so we are adding the stress of the kids being without their Dad. I keep telling DH that it is a bad idea and we should just move in February, but he doesn't want to pull the kids out of school so soon. I tried to explain that we will just enroll them in Overland Park and they can complete the year over there. What do you all think?
Thanks,
Sherri

 

[missstcroix]

Good luck on the move! I have no experience with autism...but I did move alot as a child as my dad criss crossed the country with his job...and having done it every which way, I highly recommend moving DURING the school year rather than summer. The transition was ALWAYS much easier when we went straight into a new school, with tons of people to meet, rather than just spending months in a neighborhood where people were doing their own vacations and things and very limited in meeting new people. Life is all about change..and you WILL adjust, and how you handle the adjustment I am sure will play a big role in the adjustment of your kids and mom. So grasp it in a positive way...it truly is a new adventure! Enjoy it!

 

[Nik's Mom]

That is a very good point about moving during the school year. I never thought about it that way. Thanks for giving me a new perspective!

 

[hematite153]

Wow, I don't really have any good advice, I just wanted to say that it sounds like a tough move.

I doubt that anyone outside your family knows whether it would be harder on your boys to be without their Dad, or to move in the middle of the school year. Are there other people (teachers? doctors?) who work with your boys, who could weigh in on the decision?

As a teacher, who has worked with autistic students, I suspect that the school move will be stressful regardless of when it occurs (i.e. mid-year or start of the next school year). You can probably work out a system to familiarize the boys with new routines.

Good luck! (Hopefully, others will have more advice to offer.)

 

[BeckyScott]

There is a Yahoo Group called a_list that is Missouri-specific. Mostly moms in the St Louis area but some in KC. It's a very active group, and I'm sure they'd be helpful if you had questions.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/a_list/

 

[Maraena]

Hi,
We are moving to the Kansas City area with our 2 autistic sons and my elderly Mom. Mom is kind of freaking out because she has lived in Southern California for 77 years. She has arthritis and is worried how she will handle the cold. Those of you with arthritis, how do you cope in the cold?

I can only really help with this one since I haven't had the experience of moving with a child with autism. I have some pretty nasty arthritis from past sports injuries that I failed to allow to heal. My suggestions are alleve and heating pads. It does get cold in that area and winter often entails a good bit of snow.

I'm sure your mother is more resilient than she realizes but I'm also certain that it will be quite a shock, considering how long she lived in California. However, the alternative of staying in CA without both you and her grandsons may be a more negative idea than the cold. Just stay bundled up, wear layers, and get some long johns. Keep the joints as warm as you can and maybe try some of the herbal supplements out there for joint pain.

As for your two sons, I think you may find it more difficult for them to adjust to the sudden climate changes depending on the severity of autism that they experience (but I could also be wrong). You might want to talk to their teachers (current and future) in both states. Maybe get them in touch with one another so that they can share information - might require a FERPA permission statement - and see what they suggest in regards to transitioning the two boys. I'm not too sure how often the boys have been in cold weather environments, seen snow, had ice on sidewalks, etc. You may need to expose them to what this looks like and feels like. Again, I'm speaking very broadly but I'm not sure of the level of functioning of your two sons.

 

[pcparamedics01]

Hi,
We are moving to the Kansas City area with our 2 autistic sons and my elderly Mom. Mom is kind of freaking out because she has lived in Southern California for 77 years. She has arthritis and is worried how she will handle the cold. Those of you with arthritis, how do you cope in the cold?

Second question, has anyone moved out of state with their autistic child? I'm worried that the kids will be a wreck! Any tips or suggestions? We will be moving in a few months and I want to try to make the transition as smooth as possible.
The worst part is that we cannot wait until the end of the school year. DH's job is moving in February. I will stay here with the kids until the end of May, so we are adding the stress of the kids being without their Dad. I keep telling DH that it is a bad idea and we should just move in February, but he doesn't want to pull the kids out of school so soon. I tried to explain that we will just enroll them in Overland Park and they can complete the year over there. What do you all think?
Thanks,
Sherri

Sherri,

I have moved from Buffalo New York to Atlanta about 7 1/2 years ago. I have an Autistic son that is now going to be 10 yrs next week. Get with your school district before or when you arrive. Get an IEP in place in your district ASAP, so they can see what services you were getting and to compare with what they will offer. I found every county is different, however once you have the services in another state it is tough for them to not honor them if they work. IM me for additional info.

 

[barkley]

i have arthritis in my hips and knees. i moved from california in april to eastern washington state-where it has been hovering at or below freezing for the better part of several weeks (before that it was 'toasty warm' in the 40's ). i'm finding that for my arthritis i do well to stay as warm as possible-so i tend to wear flannel or fleese pajamas or lounging clothes as much as possible (i'm at home most of the time so fashion is not a major issue with me). warm baths or showers give relief when my regular meds are'nt cutting it. an electric lap blanked is also great. if your mom is on medicare-i strongly suggest researching and finding a primary care doctor before you move. i was saddened to find that many in my new home area have long waiting lists.

as for your kiddo's and school-we CHOSE to move in the spring because we did'nt want our kids to start out the year in a new school. our son has adhd and does not deal with changes well, and his psychiatrist was very supportive of this idea. we (dh and i on separate visits pre-move) visited the new school well ahead of time and worked with the teachers at both the old and new to make the transition easy for everyone. the new teachers reviewed what the kids had/were working on before we arrived and allowed them to initialy continue using the same texts/workbooks slowly integrating them into their own. the teachers also did something that i think made a tremendous difference so far as making our children feel welcomed into their new school/classes-well before we moved each child was sent a card that said how much everyone was looking forward to them coming-and each child in the class signed it, some even wrote a little note. when we arrived at our new home we found a pile of sweet and caring handmade cards from all the students in their respective classrooms welcoming us (the teachers found out who our realtor was and arranged to have them on the kitchen counter when we arrived ). the cards were wonderful in that many of the kids had moved at least once before (and in many cases multiple times), and they wrote notes about what they were thinking about, worried about, looking forward to when they were going through it-and offered some suggestions as well as assurances that they would have 'built in friends' eagerly awaiting them at school

we purposely did'nt have the kids start school until about 3 weeks after we arrived-this let them get settled into their new home, new rooms-and be part of 'making our new home'. we did visit the school a couple of times-timing it so they could observe the class as well as do recess one day, p.e. another (teachers asked what game they liked ahead of time and planned to do it that day). by the time they were ready to start school, they knew what to expect.

this new school year went realy well-the kids knew who their teachers would be (small school so they have the same teachers as they did last year), knew some of the kids realy well, and were very commpassionate and welcoming to the 'new, new kids' (the ones that enrolled over the summer).

for us, having the kids start the new school before the end of the school year worked realy well-if we had'nt i know both would have been worried about what to expect, 'will i or won't i make any friends?'....all summer long.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Thank you all for your comments. I always receive good information for my fellow Dis'rs!