Help to encourage DH!

[The_Alice]

Hey all. So my DH started this whole weight loss thing last year. He lost roughly 70 lbs. in 8-9 months and had his gallbladder removed (I believe as a result). But, lately I have noticed he is sliding back into some bad habits. Caving into cravings, giving up exercise (he used to walk 3-4 miles a day), not going to the gym. He was doing so great and was taking a lot of pride in his weight loss and now he has put on 16 pounds in the last 8 weeks.

I have asked him to come along with me to the gym, and basically he does eat what I am eating which is pretty good stuff. But, it's the excess on top of that diet that concerns me. What I am also afraid of is that he doesn't like it when someone harps on his weight. His mom does quite a bit, so if I start doing it he responds with the exact opposite reaction.

What are some ways you have found to help encourage your partner to not give up?

 

[Rose&Mike]

This is interesting--I am actually the spouse who has lost the weight, so here is what I would want to hear:

I love you. I don't know what you need right now, but whatever I can do for you, I will. If you need encouragement, I will give it to you. If you need an exercise partner I will be your partner. And if you need me to back off, I will back off. And no matter what, I will still love you.

I am at about month 9 of maintaining and I am really struggling with making good choices lately. It's very easy to be complacent. I also feel like I still have a "fear of success." Like--I have failed so many times before, of course I will fail again. Anyhow, I would not push, I would just say, whatever you need. In the meantime, continue to model good exercise and food habits. He has to do it for himself, just like I have to do it for myself. I have to re-decide every minute of everyday that I am worth taking care of and so does your DH. Sometimes it's easy, somedays not so much.