Help - thinking of cancelling our trip to WDW

[JJ&JSMOM]

Need some words of advice from those that have flown w/their kids. I am truly scared to death about flying w/my kids. I've always had a difficult time flying but this is really bad - I have had nightmares about crashes and not being able to help them. And of course terrorism doesn't help matters either. I think I would still be going through this even if we didn't have to worry about terrorism so its not just whats been happening in the news lately. But it sure doesn't help matters!

Then I think about driving and driving isn't any safer. The way some people drive is ridiculous plus we'd be driving from Maine. I'm thinking I should hold off on our vacation to WDW until the kids are older (now they're 7,3,& 1). I just don't know what to do. If I'm this upset today what will I be like on the day we leave (in May)? My husband keeps saying "give it some time" and "don't make any decisions -we have time to think about it".

I hope I didn't depress anyone or make anyone double think their plans. Just need some advice from more experienced flyers. TIA

 

[buzzmom3]

With the recent events playing out in the news, I think most people have worried about air travel. We have taken my DS twice before and will again in September. I actually feel better that they foiled a terrorist plot because at least I know they are on the look out for this kind of activity. After September 11, my DH and I made the decision to not let terrorist stop us from living a normal life. Just remember, air travel is probably safer than driving.

 

[Steve's Girl]

I am also terrified of traveling with my children (ages 7, 5 & 3). We have a trip scheduled for Dec. and I have had many of the same thoughts you have had. But I have decided that I do not want my children to live with many of the fears that I struggle with and sometimes obsess over. So, I am determined to put my fears aside and take my kids on what I hope will be a trip they will always remember. I want it to be magical for all three of them and was concerned that if we waited much longer, my 7 year old son would have outgrown some of the magic. I did not want my fears to take anything away from my kids - it's my gift to them!

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

I am also terrified of traveling with my children (ages 7, 5 & 3). We have a trip scheduled for Dec. and I have had many of the same thoughts you have had. But I have decided that I do not want my children to live with many of the fears that I struggle with and sometimes obsess over. So, I am determined to put my fears aside and take my kids on what I hope will be a trip they will always remember. I want it to be magical for all three of them and was concerned that if we waited much longer, my 7 year old son would have outgrown some of the magic. I did not want my fears to take anything away from my kids - it's my gift to them!

Thanks - what great and wonderful advice! You are absolutely right! My son is 7 too and he is the reason why we're not waiting for the 1 yr old to be older before we go!

These are beautiful words of encouragement! It will be a great gift for your kids. I am going to print your words and read them when I'm feeling shaky. This is how I'll look at it too - as a gift to my kids! Thanks again!

 

[wrldpossibility]

I don't have the same intensity of fear you do, but I do understand. I never thought twice about flying until I had kids, and I fly a lot, but once I had my babies on the plane with me, it did make even me nervous at times. There's something very scary about having the people you love most and must protect most next to you on a plane, knowing if something went wrong, you could not protect them. However, that's true in a car too, as you stated, and it's true everywhere else you go and with everything you do day in and day out, to a degree.

Fear cannot make you stop living, IMO. It doesn't matter how old or young your kids are. My MIL and FIL refuse to fly due to their fear, and they've missed more than one family vacation with their grandkids (both my kids and my SIL's kids) because of it. Very sad and unnecessary, IMO.

There are no guarantees in life whether you're flying or driving or sitting at home. At some point you have to let your fears go and just trust (in whatever higher power you believe in). I think all of us with kids have felt the way you do to a degree. I hope you decide to go to WDW!

 

[wrldpossibility]

Just thought I'd add...our kids are similar ages--7, 5, and almost 2, and we're going now for the same reason. Maybe the just-2-year-old (by the time we leave) would do better at age 3 or so, but I really wanted the magic to be real for the 7 and 5-year-olds.

We're going in Dec. too, and trust me, even though we will fly for sure, I pray I feel safer than I would if I flew today.

 

[la79al]

We went last year. DD had never flown and was TERRIFIED. As much as I dislike/fear flying, I had no problems putting that aside to help DD. This year we will be taking the train down and flying back. Aside from that, we went last year 2 1/2 months before DS turned 9. Now granted he has never been the type of child to play with toys or really 'be a kid', but I really don't think he enjoyed it any less than he would have if we had gone a year earlier. Until they reach that difficult teenage period, I think they openly enjoy different parts of WDW.

 

[JMLBrats]

We took the auto train in june of 2004 with our ds and dd who were 4 and 2 at the time and drove oct 2005 when our ds was 5 dd 3 and new dd who was 10 months at the time(we are from maine also) I have a serious fear of flying and have tried it all to get over it. The train was fun but a little tough on the 2yo as she had a hard time sleeping but so did I. Plus you still have to drive to virginia but you do have your own vehicle when you get there. Driving was not nearly as bad as everyone told us it would be you just have to make it part of the vacation. I wanted to drive straight through but my wife insisted on 2 stops 1st night at her mothers in NJ and the second in SC. I would also advise on investing in a portable tv/dvd and a good collection of dvds. Im not trying to feed your fear of flying but if it is even 1/2 of what mine is I wouldnt force myself on a plane. Everyone would tell me "your there in 3 hours and its done" but you still have to fly back and for me it would ruin my time like a black cloud. Ill stop as I am probably not being much help sorry.

 

[Zoemakes5]

I'm so sorry that this is such an issue for you. I have fears of needles. Long story. But I definitely am a big baby about it!
The one thing about fears, is frankly the longer they're there, the stronger they get. "Putting it off" until your children are older will only make the fears stronger, you'll have had longer to worry about them.
I've always been a problem solver. Define the problem and then come up with solutions. In this situation, you want to go to WDW, but you have fear. So, is there any way to reduce your fears or better cope with them? Will statistical research help you? Knowing the sheer volume of people who fly vs. people who have been hurt or killed flying? I remember seeing once that more people are killed from falling in the shower than from air travel. I know some people who get "white noise" tapes to help sooth them. I know some people who take medication (for flying only, actually) that help them relax. I know some people who work on self-hypnosis or meditation. Not only does it help them deal with the situation when it's occuring, but it also helps them because it's something they can control. Actually, back "in the day" when I flew with my Dad, who while I was younger, HATED flying, we would stop by the airport bar and he'd quickly down a couple of beverages. Not the best remedy, but got him on the plane. And, I'd say a glass of wine or beer or something to help calm the nerves is not necessarily a bad thing. Wouldn't want to get drunk or anything, though, obviously.
A parent's fears can be paralysing to a child. It reaffirms that those things are really to be feared, since the parent fears them. This truly would be one of the best presents you can give your kids. Big hugs 'cause I know how hard this can be.

Oh, and I would have a much greater fear of going on the trains in America right now than I would flying. Their track record the last few years has been awful!

 

[Schmeck]

I used to love to fly, until I had kids! We drive to WDW, from the NH/MA border, and it takes us 22 hours of driving, which we stretch out over two days. Our last trip, which hubby (the main driver) didn't go on, we flew, and it just seemed so odd to be in Orlando the same day that we left home, LOL!

I hope you find a comfortable solution for your situation soon!

 

[3DisneyBuggs]

I have a big fear of flying too. All the terror events have not helped it in any way. Last year we drove from NYC in early December. On the drive home, we hit an ice/ snowstorm, starting in Maryland. The driving was very slow and we kept seeing skid outs. I was nauseous by the time we hit the NJ Turnpike. I told my DH, next year maybe we'll fly. Well our trip is in a month and we are driving again. I just can't see me taking my family on a plane, esp now. I will avoid driving to Orlando in the winter though- the risk of bad weather is too much for me.

If you split your drive into two days, it should be okay for you to drive.

 

[TinkerDaisy]

I have extreme Anxity when flying, when I go this time I am going to have the DR. prescribe me something. My thoughts are that I am going to go on with my life, you aren't 100% safe anywhere anymore, I am going to have fun with my family as much as possible as long as I possibly can. But that is a descion you have to make. I wish you all the best.

 

[minkydog]

I do not love to fly. I tolerate it when i must. the option of Driving from Maine to Orlando would fall into my "must fly" category. As a child I rode in the back seat with my 4 younger siblings, from Mississippi to Virginia and back every summer, >1000 miles. Not as much fun as it sounds. If my parents had been willing to stop and explore sometimes, perhaps it would have been good. But usually they were in a dead heat to get there, so we'd drive 16hrs one day,8-10 the next. Did I mention no A/C?

I know that fear of flying with my children, but frankly I'm more afraid of I-95. Last summer I went to the Outer Banks to see my brother and settle some business. I had the option of driving alone with two of my kids(DD12 and the autistic DS10) or flying. I chose flying. I didn't even care if DS screamed the whole time(he didn't, he loved it.) Even the thought of evacuating a plane with a handicapped child didn't deterr me.

All you can do in a crisis is deal with it. The chances of having an "in-air" crises is pretty low. The chances of having a collision at 70mph is much higher. I can't do much to prevent either one if someone else decides to do something awful or stupid(like driving drunk).I figured I'd rather take my chances for 90 minutes in the air than 14hrs on the ground.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I am also afraid of flying and have never been on a plane. I agreed to fly down to WDW for our 10th anniversary in 2008. I'm already nervous about it, so I can empathize with your situation.
You said you are thinking about waiting until your kids are older....but how much older is old enough. The fear will still be there and your kids will always be your kids no matter how old they are.
Try think about how much fun your kids will have when you are feeling scared and maybe that might put your worries out of your head.

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

Thanks for all your advice. I keep trying to think of all the fun we will have once we get to WDW. Actually my DH is flying to PA on business today and the kids are so excited to go to the airport and watch DH's plane take off. I've asked them if we go to WDW someday would they want to fly in a plane and they jump up and down and say "Yes yes!" I've also asked them if they want to drive and DS7 says "Yes that would be an adventure!" Obviously its the adults decision but its nice to have the kids' input as well.

I don't like driving on I-95 (I would be the primary driver too my DH falls asleep) either and I think that would be more dangerous then flying.

I tell ya - I never knew I was such a worry wart. I guess becoming a parent has really changed me - its made me feel so vunerable and paranoid (as my DH says ) Anyway thanks for all the thoughts. We'll probably still go and I'll get a Rx from my Dr. - that did calm me last time I flew in 1998!

Thanks!
Joanne

 

[littleprissboutique]

Hi.

I have always been afraid to fly. But, my fear was brought on by not flying until I was older. I took my first flight after Sept 11th. So, you could imagine my state of mind on that first flight. I had to go all by myself. My dd ( 7 mo old at the time ) and my hubby could not go. Work related travel. So, I put my sunglasses on and cried during take off. LOL I was so upset that the FA brought me a book and tried to comfort me. I was not out loud crying, just to myself and the FA saw a tear run down my face.

I still hate to fly. My dd on the other hand thinks it is the coolest thing. I think it is all in how you are raised. I get in a car and dont think twice about it, but my daughter gets on a plane and does not think about it. She is use to flying, and I hope when she gets older she does not have the fears that I do. I honestly think that the TSA is doing a great job in trying to prevent the terrorist. I will continue to travel by air. It is the safest means of transport, IMHO. If something was to happen, It was meant to happen. Gods Will. So, I am going to live my life like I normally would, and not be afraid. I may be a little nervous, but I wont let fear take over my life.

If I was you, I would go. I would not let fear take away from a great trip with your family. You will have a blast and odds are you will come home upset over leaving Disney-than over your plane ride...


Wish you the best!

 

[Minnie824]

I completely understand how you feel. I am the same way. I've flown since I was 4 (almost 30 years ago) and used to love it. I flew for work, prior to kids, I was fine. One time, I was in the absolute last row, and I did start to get a little nervous. Then I had kids. My first one was 1 month after 9/11, so I'm not sure if its a combination of both events. I have not flown in 6 years. I was having terrible dreams at the thought of flying as well. Well, next year we want to go to CA. We are not driving there...its not an option, way too far. So, I mentioned to DH, maybe we should fly this year to Disney as a 'practice flight' for our DDs, since its a shorter flight. Thats our plan as of now. I'm very nervous about it. Then I was fine, then the big terror plot hit, and I started to plan our drive again, as we did last year. I don't know, we're still unsure at this point. We have both options open to us, so we'll see how things are, closer to our trip. It makes me really nervous. On top of that, with all the restrictions, it makes me worry about having to deal w/DDs not having stuff they may want on their first flight, which would make it an even longer flight (I wanted to bring juice boxes, etc for them). So, we'll see how it goes. Not much advice for you, but good luck.

 

[barbie78]

I'm glad it's not just me! DH and I planned our vacation for the 2nd week of Sept, to leave on Mon, not realizing it was 9-11! We got cheap tickets , but with all this terrorism stuff coming out, I am a little concerned. In my mind, I know that it's ridiculous, we are safe, but it's still in the back of my mind.

I will not let terror control my life!

 

[angelmav]

As someone that deals with frequent anxiety attacks, let me tell you that its normal to have a fear of flying for a whole host of reasons. However as was stated, by giving into your fears you blow them up and make it that much harder to overcome in the future. I would recommend seeing your Dr and asking for a low dose sedative that you can take before boarding. Typically I just hit the bar and then sleep on the plane but we all gotta find ways to deal with our issues. Dont let it beat you though because the shame that accompanies backing down from something out of fear is a tough thing to live with. I wish you well and am sure youll have a great time!

I will say a prayer for you and yours to have a safe and happy trip!

 

[minkydog]

Thanks for all your advice. I keep trying to think of all the fun we will have once we get to WDW. Actually my DH is flying to PA on business today and the kids are so excited to go to the airport and watch DH's plane take off. I've asked them if we go to WDW someday would they want to fly in a plane and they jump up and down and say "Yes yes!" I've also asked them if they want to drive and DS7 says "Yes that would be an adventure!" Obviously its the adults decision but its nice to have the kids' input as well.

I don't like driving on I-95 (I would be the primary driver too my DH falls asleep) either and I think that would be more dangerous then flying.

I tell ya - I never knew I was such a worry wart. I guess becoming a parent has really changed me - its made me feel so vunerable and paranoid (as my DH says ) Anyway thanks for all the thoughts. We'll probably still go and I'll get a Rx from my Dr. - that did calm me last time I flew in 1998!

Thanks!
Joanne

Better living through chemistry Good luck!