HELP!!!! Really weird situation!!!

[glenpreece]

Hi everyone I know I have been really absent lately just haven't been in that trip/disney world mood. But that's over because I am going to DL in Oct for my very first trip to the West Coast!!!!

Now this isn't the problem, this was the reason why i was excited and happy up until 12:23pm today. At that time I received a phone call from my boss's wife. Long story short she accused me of having a sexual relationship with her husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said that she had spoken to him last night and basically knew everything but wanted me to admit to it. (uhh bs you know nothing cause there's nothing to know) she says she has proof and knows something is going on. And that if it isn't me it's somebody else than. I was so shocked and I kept asking her what she was talking about over and over. By the end of the call i was in tears.

I couldn't stop shaking or crying. I called a friend of mine who also deals with this woman's insanity at our store. Not only is she his wife but she works with us as well. My friend suggested I call the labor board (we are managers and not in the union) but my dad said I couldn't since I am not being disciplined or having any action taken against me at work. I am going to talk to him tomorrow but I figure he's going to think I am crazy and not believe me. I don't know what to do this has completely shaken me to the core. I can't even sleep becuase I can't get it out of my head. I just keep replaying it over and over and can't believe what she is saying. I have never had ANYTHING like this happen to me. What should I do???

 

[OrlandoMike]

Hmmm

Yes this is an odd one. If it were me, I would go to work like nothing happened. If she continued about this, I think I would contact a lawyer. Seems to me this would be some sort of odd sexual harassment.

 

[yasuern]

Hmmm

Yes this is an odd one. If it were me, I would go to work like nothing happened. If she continued about this, I think I would contact a lawyer. Seems to me this would be some sort of odd sexual harassment.

I agrre with above post - Sounds like this lady needs to seek prof. help

Years ago my bosses wife accussed me of having an affair w/him (I was 19y/o my boss whom I've known since I was 5 was 36y/o)- One day when my boss and her were driving by she attempted to jump out of the car(slow moving car) and screamed horrid things at me that the Dis will not let me post - but I know she WAS alittle off

It was AWFUL - but it did pass.



Sue

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Nope, I'll take a different viewpoint here. Given my experience with HR (granted, differs by state, but if we look at the general federal level) this is what I would do.

I would approach the spouse (with whom I was accused of having sexual relations with) and state that we needed to have a private and serious discussion. I would then in a private area that I was reasonably certain could not be overheard, tell the person what had happened. I would keep it factual, and not editorialize. "I received a call from _________ on such and such a day at approximately this time ______. S/he accused me of having sex with you. Since this is not the case, as a courtesy I'm letting you know this happened. As a further courtesy I am letting you know that if I receive any further contact from her/him of this nature, I am going to seek legal advice." I would keep it as brief and non-dramatic as possible. I would assure the person that I realized that s/he is not responsible for the behavior of the other person, however it was upsetting enough for me to want to be upfront about the whole thing.

You may be doing the person a favor, however you are calling the nonsense right there and not allowing it to go further.

Again, my opinion and it may not be helpful to you. I personally do not have the patience to deal with that sort of stupid drama in my life.

 

[wallyb]

My advice...
If he's got money, and is kinda cute,
and since your getting blamed for it anyway -
What ta heck... do him.

Or maybe Mike's advice more prudent - your choice.
Good luck.

 

[rpmdfw]

Nope, I'll take a different viewpoint here. Given my experience with HR (granted, differs by state, but if we look at the general federal level) this is what I would do.

I would approach the spouse (with whom I was accused of having sexual relations with) and state that we needed to have a private and serious discussion. I would then in a private area that I was reasonably certain could not be overheard, tell the person what had happened. I would keep it factual, and not editorialize. "I received a call from _________ on such and such a day at approximately this time ______. S/he accused me of having sex with you. Since this is not the case, as a courtesy I'm letting you know this happened. As a further courtesy I am letting you know that if I receive any further contact from her/him of this nature, I am going to seek legal advice." I would keep it as brief and non-dramatic as possible. I would assure the person that I realized that s/he is not responsible for the behavior of the other person, however it was upsetting enough for me to want to be upfront about the whole thing.

You may be doing the person a favor, however you are calling the nonsense right there and not allowing it to go further.

Again, my opinion and it may not be helpful to you. I personally do not have the patience to deal with that sort of stupid drama in my life.

This would be my advice as well.

With one addition: start looking for a new job immediately! There's no way this is going to end well.

 

[glenpreece]

Nope, I'll take a different viewpoint here. Given my experience with HR (granted, differs by state, but if we look at the general federal level) this is what I would do.

I would approach the spouse (with whom I was accused of having sexual relations with) and state that we needed to have a private and serious discussion. I would then in a private area that I was reasonably certain could not be overheard, tell the person what had happened. I would keep it factual, and not editorialize. "I received a call from _________ on such and such a day at approximately this time ______. S/he accused me of having sex with you. Since this is not the case, as a courtesy I'm letting you know this happened. As a further courtesy I am letting you know that if I receive any further contact from her/him of this nature, I am going to seek legal advice." I would keep it as brief and non-dramatic as possible. I would assure the person that I realized that s/he is not responsible for the behavior of the other person, however it was upsetting enough for me to want to be upfront about the whole thing.

You may be doing the person a favor, however you are calling the nonsense right there and not allowing it to go further.

Again, my opinion and it may not be helpful to you. I personally do not have the patience to deal with that sort of stupid drama in my life.

Thanks everybody for your advice!!!!!!

And yes OKW I did just as you have stated here. I brought in a friend as a witness and thank God he believed me I was so relieved he believed me. He apologized many times and said he was so embarrassed and didn't know what else to say. He said he will deal with her. "tear her a new one"

As for another job I would love to but living ina rural area (right near GM oshawa) jobs are pretty scarce and since I don't make min wage now I plan on sticking it out here as long as I can. I am going to reapply for wdw and dcl next year.

Thanks again everybody for your help!!!!

P.S.-he said her "proof" was a red hair she found on his shirt the other day

 

[soulmates]

Wow, her "Proof" was a strand of red hair? I agree w/ Rob, I'd really be looking elsewhere. I couldn't work everyday in that, wondering when it will happen again!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I'm pleased for you that you were able to discuss this with that poor spouse. Sheesh. Imagine being married to someone like that!

Take care now and hopefully, this nonsense is over and done with.

 

[glenpreece]

I'm pleased for you that you were able to discuss this with that poor spouse. Sheesh. Imagine being married to someone like that!

Take care now and hopefully, this nonsense is over and done with.

Thanks but alas no it's not over, she tried to "apologize" she didn't even have the courtesy to do it face to face. She was at work all day and left w/o saying a word and then phone dme at 8:30pm at work to apologize for upsetting me and taking it the way I did. That if I was so upset I should've called her back and talked it out. UH EXCUSE ME??? You accuse me of sleeping with your husband and then I wasn't supposed to be upset and I should call you back and talk to you??? And you're not even apologizing for what you said? and how you insulted me? So needless to ssay it was a short conversation she wanted me to forgive her and I said that was crazy to ask me, that this whole situatuion is crazy and I was busy and didn't want to talk to her anymore. So she said well she'd seee me Thurs.

My parents want me to deal with her but keep a lid on it and basically have this on them, unfortunately I can't afford to lose my job since their isn't anything around here for me. I figure I am holding all the cards in this situation that they can't fire me because it would be discrimination etc. I don't know I am so confused.

 

[glenpreece]

oh and 82 days til Disneyland

 

[OrlandoMike]

I would let it drop at this point.

You're only gonna open a can of worms if you confront her on this!


And all of this started over a strand of hair? Dear Lord, If I worried about that I would have been in divorce court years ago!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Yep, time to back off. You've made yourself clear, and there is nothing more for you to do or say.

However, if she continues to confront you over what is now a dead issue, then she has moved into the arena of creating a hostile workplace. Let's not worry about that though, unless it gets to that stage.

O'Mike you are SO right! LOL. A single strand of hair? You know? Irish Setters have red hair. Someone could have simply been petting a DOG! Sheesh!

 

[rosiep]

Hey Glen...

How about an update. Been thinking about you and hoping that all is well.

 

[Stacerita]

I just wanted to say to make sure you document everything.

 

[hematite153]

I just wanted to say to make sure you document everything.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Write down all of the details (leave out the emotions) and include dates and times and whomever else was around--please do this even if it all seems to have blown over.

It's been a couple of weeks since you first posted this, so, I hope that it was an odd incident that has since blown over. Good luck!