Everyone is different as to what plan will work for them. I think you have done the first thing and that is acknowledge that you want to lose weight. I am back to being at my heaviest weight again and I am just trying to take it one day at a time. I believe that if you stick around on these boards you will find so much encouragement and inspiration. I know that I have and did when I lost my weight the first time.
I don't have any magic words for you, but wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and will keep you in my prayers. I know how difficult it is to watch a father be sick and then lose them. My dad had ALS and suffered for 16 months before he passed away in 1999 at the age of 51. I did a lot of comfort eating as well so I do understand where you are coming from.
Take it one step and one day at a time. Make changes slowly, nothing drastic and not too much at one time would be my recommendation.
I look forward to seeing you on the board and will be thinking about you.