Help please--flowers and funeral etiquette

[Luckymommyx2]

I've been searching on websites and have no idea where else to turn...

My grandma passed away early Thursday morning and the viewing and funeral are Monday morning. I ordered a large arrangement of white flowers in a wicker basket made of twigs. I made sure that they are including 8 white roses in the arrangement. Here is what I'm planning...

I wanted to have the arrangement delivered for the viewing and funeral Monday morning. As all the other arrangements are being loaded into the hearse I wanted to take my arrangement with me then take one white rose for each member of my family to put on my grandma's grave. The rest of the arrangement would go to my mom. She is having an extremely hard time and I'm quite worried about her.

Is this something that would be okay to do? I didn't want a large beautiful arrangement to be piled on with a lot of different flowers and then just get tossed or have blown away. (Also, I wanted something that was a part of the funeral to give my mom.) I'm just really confused and with there being bad blood in the family I wouldn't be surprised if my basket would be removed from the grave if I did decide to leave it there. I'm just torn on if this is something that I can/should do. I don't want it to seem disrespectful to my grandma. She was the best grandma a girl could ever hope for.

I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you to those of you that took the time to read it.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

not sure..just wanted to say i was sorry about your grandmother

 

[KathyTX]

This sounds like a lovely gesture, and I don't see anything inappropriate about it.

She was the best grandma a girl could ever hope for.

 

[SpecialK]

My condolences on your loss. I think your idea for the flowers is lovely. I would ask the funeral director to handle this discreetly. He could collect your arrangement and hold it in his office for you. Ask him to remove the roses and give them to you. After the cemetery or luncheon, you could stop by the funeral home and pick up the basket. You also won't have to worry about the remaining flowers wilting in your car.

 

[ladydancer]

Why don't you just let the funeral home take the flowers to the grave site. Then after the service walk over to your flower arrangement and do as you wish. I don't see anything wrong with what you are suggesting.IMO

 

[Aimeedyan]

I think that sounds like a wonderful idea... I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

I know when my relatives have passed, and my DH's, the family usually end up taking most arrangments and plants home, and just leave a few at the gravesite... so I dont think that would be that unusual. Usually it happens after all is said and done and everyone leaves, you know?

 

[Ibelieveinfairies]

I'm so sorry about your grandma...I like SpecialK's suggestion that you speak to the funeral director ahead of time so that he/she can worry about the flowers while you concentrate on you and your mom!

 

[Jcricket Fan]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I provide the coordination for funerals & wakes at my church....as said by SpecialK I also suggest you speak with the funeral director
and let him/her know exactly what you want to do. The directors I work with are wonderful at doing what the family would like and these type of requests happen all the time....they will think nothing of it.

You don't need anything extra to concern yourself with so let them be of assistance to you.

Again, my condolences for your loss.

Colleen

 

[Luckymommyx2]

Thank you so much for your responses. I know I'm not thinking clearly so I just wanted to make sure I was doing something that wouldn't be offensive to anyone.

I'll plan on speaking with the funeral director before the service. Thank you so much...you all have put my mind at ease. Thank you.

 

[Felicia]

When my MIL passed away, there was a huge plant (my mother called it a 'peace plant'). It was sent by my DH's partner and since it wasn't flowers which would eventually die, we decided to take it home with us. We spoke to the funeral director about this and he said people do it all the time.

I am so glad we did take it and everytime I look at it, it reminds me of my MIL who passed away nearly 5 years ago. It is the most gorgeous plant. I have had to replant it into a bigger pot and it stays in my dining room.