Help needed—Senior Citizen money issues

I also would not suggest selling the house immediately. However, since she has not been in the practice of taking care of anything up to this point, I do believe a house will be too much to keep up herself. Everything will depend on how much income she ends up having, of course. But when my dad died, my mom stayed in the house for about a year and a half and then she was ready for something maintenance free and more secure feeling for her. And she had plenty of money. Had she not, it would not have been an option to stay in her home. Upkeep, taxes and insurance could clean a person on a limited income out very quickly. My mother in law moved to a small apartment a few years after my father in law passed away.

In your case, OP, I still think moving in the direction of selling the house in the not too distant future is the best thing to do. If your mother in law is unable to manage money, she could end up defaulting on it. And if she won't accept your help it could happen before you even know there is a problem. Right now is the best time to set up a plan with her, while she is open to your input.
All true. We don’t know how old the OP’s MIL is though. Sometimes people say ‘elderly’ and the person is in their 60s, early 70s rather than say their 80s-90s. They say she’s working part time so there’s some level of self sufficiency there. I just think the advice of ‘sell the house, pay off the debt’ is reactionary. IMO the first order of business should be getting a clear picture of the situation and solid legal advice.

When my paternal grandfather died all my grandma had was the house. No retirement, no savings. He had a habit of starting failed businesses. Not sure what level of debt there was as I was a teenager at the time but I do know that if not for that house she would have been poverty stricken. She was in her early 60s at the time. She stayed in that house up until a few months before she died at 84. Anyway, keeping it was in her best interest. It may not be in the OP’s MIL’s. It just wouldn’t be *my* first reaction.

The lesson here folks: keep your spouse abreast of what’s going on financially. “Shielding” them is never a good idea.
 
She owns the house, mortgage free. But, other debt, taxes, insurance, upkeep will be a chore. She is 64 and the house is on a large lot, over 1/2 acre with lots of mowing and landscaping. Probably too much for her long term and we live 90 miles away, so not just a quick drive over either.

Lots of good and useful information here and places for us to start. I appreciate it.
We posted at the same time. Downsizing might be in her best interest then. I wouldn’t do anything until I had a clearer picture though.
 
She owns the house, mortgage free. But, other debt, taxes, insurance, upkeep will be a chore. She is 64 and the house is on a large lot, over 1/2 acre with lots of mowing and landscaping. Probably too much for her long term and we live 90 miles away, so not just a quick drive over either.

Lots of good and useful information here and places for us to start. I appreciate it.

Don't discount what she can do even with a lot that size. My mom is 71 and uses the rider and push mower to take care of the yard my stepdad used to. Water heater hose sprang a leak, google and youtube to the rescue for an easy fix on how to release the pressure and replace the hose. Just because she hasn't doesn't mean she can't or isn't able, though she may not want to deal with it either. And a half acre with a house on it isn't that big.

Also look into any senior programs, she may not be old enough yet but the county my mom lives in has a program for seniors that will remove the school taxes from her property taxes based on income. She has to reapply every 3 years but it cut her taxes in half. Had the life insurance policy for my stepdad not paid the house off she wouldn't have been able to stay in it. Yes there's a cost to upkeep and keep a house going and she could use a lawn service or a neighborhood kid but sometimes staying in the house is the better financial decision. Apartments and senior apartments aren't always cheap and if you save up for expenses throughout the year it works out to be easier.

I think the biggest thing now is figuring out the financials, that's what she wasn't a part of, that doesn't mean she can't handle the house etc on her own. It also doesn't mean she was part of creating the debt and can't manage the money once she's aware of how it all works. At 64 with a part time job she's obviously capable of quite a lot imo.
 
We were on a very similar situation with my FIL passing. The very first set is to have her give you full access to her finances so that you can determine what professional help is needed. A lawyer will probably be needed no matter what, but the type of lawyer will depend on what you are dealing with. Don’t let her make ANY major decisions in the next few weeks. My MIL was lucky in that she has been able to remain independent. But had she been left to her own devices and not forced to be honest with us she would have dug herself in to a bigger hole.
 


She owns the house, mortgage free. But, other debt, taxes, insurance, upkeep will be a chore. She is 64 and the house is on a large lot, over 1/2 acre with lots of mowing and landscaping. Probably too much for her long term and we live 90 miles away, so not just a quick drive over either.

Lots of good and useful information here and places for us to start. I appreciate it.


this is from my perspective as a former administrator of medicaid programs-TALK TO AN ELDER LAW ATTORNEY BEFORE EVEN CONSIDERING SELLING THE HOUSE.

if your mil ends up needing to find health insurance short term (until medicare kicks in-if she's eligible) and then long term (for the really costly elder care expenses), depending on her income (which we are all hoping is'nt just her part-time wages), medicaid may be her best bet. that said-a home she's living in won't count against her like having that same home's equity in a bank account (or spent already on debt b/c medicaid has a 'look back period' of around 5 years m.o.l.). i get that keeping up a 1/2 acre is allot of work-we live on 10 but it could cost ALLOT less to hire a neighbor to do the mowing or get a yard service for a couple hundred a month vs. paying high 3 figures per month for health insurance (i've gotten quotes of nearly $1000 a month for a decent plan for younger than that age range).

Also look into any senior programs, she may not be old enough yet but the county my mom lives in has a program for seniors that will remove the school taxes from her property taxes based on income. She has to reapply every 3 years but it cut her taxes in half.


our county has that as well-it can save a ton for seniors. there are also special programs for utilities that she might benefit from. as far as insurance goes-check her coverage b/c it's not unusual for people to have OLD policies that have coverage they really don't need and it never hurts to shop around for different coverage-i saved over $500 a year just by switching from one company to another.


The lesson here folks: keep your spouse abreast of what’s going on financially. “Shielding” them is never a good idea.

AGREED!!! also-for the benefit of your spouse/s.o./kids......gather and document information about any/all pensions and life insurance. put it in a safe and accessible place for when your 'time' comes. it's difficult enough dealing with a death but to then have to deal with what can be a bureaucratic nightmare of trying to figure if/what a survivor is eligible to just compounds it.
 
I know some people who as they got older rented out rooms or part of their home. Some made a separate entrance and made it a formal arrangement, but others kept it informal and with people they knew. It seemed to benefit both parties. Sometimes the person paying to stay took care of some other things like the lawn too.

Not for everyone, and you could end up with a negative experience, but it is an option.
 


I am retired Air Force Human Resources. My husband is also retired Air Force, and has been a DoD Civilian for about 13 years. I already told DH when I pass away, to hire an attorney familiar with Veteran and Federal benefits. It's just way too much to keep up with and there are so many rules, etc. I buried my son last June and he didn't have an estate or assets and that wast still a lot of stress.

She will be best served and ensure no benefits are overlooked by having an attorney. If he didn't leave a will, and depending on the state, things may need to go through probate anyways.
 
Since, when does it matter? Some are considered Senior Citizens at age 55. You don't know this 64 year old health issues. I know 94 year olds who physical age is 40. I know 45 years old whose physical age is 65.

Ops term not mine. And it can cause advice to be different and false assumptions about ops MIL.

In most print media elderly is at least 65 and over. Most people I know do not consider themselves elderly until 20 plus years later.

By those younger, elderly is seen as an offensive term.
 
Ops term not mine. And it can cause advice to be different and false assumptions about ops MIL.

In most print media elderly is at least 65 and over. Most people I know do not consider themselves elderly until 20 plus years later.

By those younger, elderly is seen as an offensive term.
My point being... the age you use the term is irrelevant to this conversation.
 
Since when is 64 elderly?
Exactly.
My point being... the age you use the term is irrelevant to this conversation.
Well the term indicates a very senior adult. 75-80+

There are lots of folks at 64 that are managing their lives, traveling, working full or part time.
In OP's first post they indicate the MIL is working.
Hopefully a reputable attorney can assist before any big decisions are made.
 
Since when is 64 elderly?
For purposes of being qualified to live in a "Residential Care Facility for the Elderly" the state of California sets age 60 or older as elderly.
However, the California State Department of Health when reporting flu deaths sets age 65 or older as elderly.
So in California there is a legal definition of elderly, but it differs. Go figure.
To me you aren't elderly until you have been retired a few years. However, after my last Jury Duty service, where there was a just retired State Worker who was 48.....started at 18, worked 30 years which is full retirement service time.....I may have to rethink that!

I will be in 62 in 28 days. I take after my mother. Where's my Senior Discount?:crutches:
 
For purposes of being qualified to live in a "Residential Care Facility for the Elderly" the state of California sets age 60 or older as elderly.
However, the California State Department of Health when reporting flu deaths sets age 65 or older as elderly.
So in California there is a legal definition of elderly, but it differs. Go figure.
To me you aren't elderly until you have been retired a few years. However, after my last Jury Duty service, where there was a just retired State Worker who was 48.....started at 18, worked 30 years which is full retirement service time.....I may have to rethink that!

I will be in 62 in 28 days. I take after my mother. Where's my Senior Discount?:crutches:
Of more interest to me: What percent of non-disabled, independent living adults under 70 are in residential "elderly" care in Cali?
The adult mentioned on this thread is employed and lives independently. She may need to move to a place with less upkeep, but that is far different than a residential elderly care facility.
 
Of more interest to me: What percent of non-disabled, independent living adults under 70 are in residential "elderly" care in Cali?
The adult mentioned on this thread is employed and lives independently. She may need to move to a place with less upkeep, but that is far different than a residential elderly care facility.
Around here there are over 55 communities. They aren’t elder care, but they do provide help if needed. They help people who maybe don’t have a support system as well. You don’t have to be disabled to want to live among people in a similar stage of life. Some of these places are income based too. Which is something this lady might need.

In any case, criticizing the op and arguing over one’s definition of elderly is doing nothing to help this family.
 
Around here there are over 55 communities. They aren’t elder care, but they do provide help if needed. They help people who maybe don’t have a support system as well. You don’t have to be disabled to want to live among people in a similar stage of life. Some of these places are income based too. Which is something this lady might need.

In any case, criticizing the op and arguing over one’s definition of elderly is doing nothing to help this family.
And in many states the majority of residents are well over 55. I've visited several.
Happy to explain why it matters. The woman in question has issues related to being a recent widow. She doesn't appear to have serious elder issues. (Disabilities, major illness, dementia etc) Working with an attorney with an eye toward her long term independence is going to be far less costly in the long run.
 
Of more interest to me: What percent of non-disabled, independent living adults under 70 are in residential "elderly" care in Cali?
The adult mentioned on this thread is employed and lives independently. She may need to move to a place with less upkeep, but that is far different than a residential elderly care facility.
Replying to the elderly comment only. No idea the percentage. My mom was 90 when when she moved into a RCFFE.....and there was a guy who was 61 there with Alzheimers.
 
My point is I disagree.


Okay, you disagree, for the OP conversation purposes, you can not and should not use the term elder for a 64 year old mother. Because that upsets the entire conversation flow!

Also, keep in mind you are on an Internet forum with people from many different cultures. So it would be small minded to only have one definition or view point.

In Asia, an elder is anyone older than you. My 30 year old and 17 year old sisters are my 16 year old daughter's elder. (sisters are Korean).

Some folks like to hijack and debate everything. If Disboard is good for anything, it's that!
 
Start asking for it! Lots of places offer senior discounts at age 55! For auto insurance, depending on the state, the mature driver discount and senior defensive driving credit is age 55!

When I was in Vegas, I saw senior discounts at age 55 up and down the strip. My spoue will be 59 this year and he has the mature defensive driving credit on our auto policy.


For purposes of being qualified to live in a "Residential Care Facility for the Elderly" the state of California sets age 60 or older as elderly.
However, the California State Department of Health when reporting flu deaths sets age 65 or older as elderly.
So in California there is a legal definition of elderly, but it differs. Go figure.
To me you aren't elderly until you have been retired a few years. However, after my last Jury Duty service, where there was a just retired State Worker who was 48.....started at 18, worked 30 years which is full retirement service time.....I may have to rethink that!

I will be in 62 in 28 days. I take after my mother. Where's my Senior Discount?:crutches:
 

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