HELP! Need touring ideas for very grumpy DH

[kandb]

I got an idea!!! Take him and let him come to the parks only some of the days and the other days let him stay back at the hotel and relax by the pool, read a good book, take a nap etc. Then on the days he isn't joining you at the parks, set up a nice sit down dinner or maybe a character buffet dinner. Maybe if he doesn't have to do "disney" every day he won't be as grumpy!! Gosh, men are so difficult!!!! Good luck, Linda

 

[Cass]

I have DH too (Disney Hater)

I just go with my DD and he wishes us well and looks after the pets.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Wow must be tough. DH doesn't get into all the details, except how much the trip will cost him in the end. But he does love to go and enjoys the joy on the kids faces.

DH even surprised me recently with a surprise daytrip to DL during one of his business trips I attended with him in California.

I hope your DH snaps out of it. Disney is not a relaxing type vacation , it could be stressful and a grumpy DH can make matters worse.

I hate to tell you this also that depending on Easter, the 3rd week in April could be very crowded, and hot too.

Good Luck! I really do hope all turns out well.

 

[Indy's Girl]

Here is my advice: First of all, if you and your children enjoy a fast paced style of touring, don't slow down just for hubby or you may end up frustrated with him for "slowing you down" which could make the situation worse. Instead, let him tour at his own pace as well. Maybe he could join you at the parks in the morning and then head back to the hotel for a break while you and the kids go crazy at the park. Maybe you could try to get him involved in trying to pick a hotel so that he can choose a theme he likes - or choose one you know he will enjoy.

Second, if he doesn't like the "Disney" in WDW (Characters etc) make sure that you do character meals without him and plan some nice TS dinners, maybe at World Showcase - Does he like any specific types of food? There is a great thread on the restaurants board that has photos of many foods from around the world, maybe you could choose something to his taste.

Third, GET TO EPCOT! This might really turn his opinions around, as there is a lot for adults to enjoy.

Finally, maybe think about leaving the kids at one of the "daycare" clubs at the resorts and take a night out just the two of you. You could go to pleasure island and have a nice dinner, see the comedy club show, check out adventurers club etc and have some grown up fun. Or you could eat at CG and watch the fireworks, or make an ADR in World Showcase and watch illuminations together.

Best of luck with it all, you never know when the Disney bug will bite, he might love it this time! Here's hoping some pixie dust blows your way

 

[kahluacream]

Welcome to the DIS! Your DH sounds a lot like mine!!! By the end of our last trip, I must say he was praising Tour Guide Mike and calling him "The Man"!

If your DH likes to eat--- and what DH doesn't???--- maybe you can try hitting some restaurants with food you'll know he'll love. My DH still raves about the sausage on the all-you-can-eat thingy at Whispering Canyon Cafe. It's the little things like this that can make a guy happy!

My DH really hates heat/humidity, so I always tried to plan eating lunch at an air-conditioned restaurant and taking in a 3-D movie or indoor show during the hot part of the day. I think it helped. Overall, he did much better than I expected once we were there.

I'm hoping to read more ideas from posters to this thread 'cuz I can use them too, sistah! I feel your pain!!!

 

[goofie4goofy]

One thing I know, my DH loves WDW, but hates when I talk about it too soon. He likes to start talking about our trips about 2 weeks before...I don't know why. I know this may sound stupid, but maybe just contain your WDW talk to us and your kids until it gets closer.

You are going at a really nice time. Florida is beautiful in April. It is not hot and humid like other months. So you have that going for you

I would also recommend Tour guide Mike. Even after 60+ trips, I decided to find out what all the fuss was about...and it is great. You can use it as a daily guide as in what parks to visit on which day OR you can use it commando style. I use TGM as a daily guide to avoid the most crowded parks and it works great for us, I don't get in to the semantics of it all...just avoiding the crowds is good info for us. I would recommend the first choice as you can use Tour Guide Mike to plan a fun AND relaxing trip and quite possibly turn your husband around.

Also on TGM, there are message boards so you can ask tons of questions and you can print the best days and an itinerary. If you don't like TGM, you will get a refund.

So you can make this into a secret project to turn your DH into one of us If you think about it you just need 1 really super teriffic trip to hook him. The ones after this can be so - so.....men are easy

Let us know what he likes and we can help you. We will focus on the positive, not the negative. Since you have never been to EPCOT or MGM....there's lots of fun (and great drinks) waiting for you there!

Good Luck

 

[pepe of ohio]

has two people that would die for each Disney vacation, can't go down there enough but I do most of the planning. That being said, I like to make alot of details and search everything Disney for wife has a good time but it mostly keeps me Disney occupied till the trip. Daughter and SIL or Disney people too and like the odd stuff I come up with each trip, in our house you say Disney and everyone says " when and for how long". To me that was our remedy for past trips. Long ago we would only go for 4-5 nights, trying to cram everything in in that short of time made everyone grumpy and tired. Through the years, since 1977, we're made over 38 trips and we're into the 8-12 night stays and this makes everyone happy. There's time at the resort, time for shopping, time for relaxing, time to try the boats, see a movie, visit other resort lounges etc. A more leisurely pace with tons of pool time, picnics at the pool and still see and do all in the parks, its been our life saver now.

 

[Cee]

On a new, "Disney-Loving" model!

 

[Boncho]

My husband isn't into Disney either, so my son and I go and leave Dad at home to look after the dog. My son and I go and have a great time and Dad goes on a trip with the guys - this way everyone is happy and gets a vacation that they thoroughly enjoy. If you have to take him, the Tour Guide Mike thing sounds like a good idea. Also, maybe when you get there, if you are at the parks and hubby starts to get grumpy, tell him you don't mind if he goes back to the hotel to relax by the pool or something while you and the kids stay at the park. But I would suggest that you talk to him before you go - tell him that if he is going to be miserable the whole time you are away, you wouldn't be offended if he didn't go - but he might be able to handle the trip with the extra down time by himself. Good luck and have a great time.

 

[U2_rocks!]

My DH isn't as grumpy as yours about the trip, but he doesn't want to discuss details. He'll go along with what we're doing, but I'm not sure if he will be as excited as me - we'll see! We've never been with kids before, so this next trip might be so different!

My parents are coming too, and they don't want to rush around (DH doesn't either). So we're stying for 2 weeks and we're taking it slow. I know what my parents like, so I have built them into the itinerary in half days with days off in between, and made ADRs geared towards them for those days. The other days/times, DH and I will decide what to do. I think he will leave a few days early, so our first week is geared with him in mind as well, and our second week deals more with princesses, the pirate cruise for the kids, tea at the GF with my parents etc. - stuff I know he isn't as into. Perhaps you could give your DH some times off, as has been suggested, to do things he likes. Read over the attractions in each park and figure out what you can do alone with 3 kids on the days he's not joining you. Meet up with him for dinner on those days.

There are lots of ways you can structure this. We are using TGM as well to help cut down on waiting and crowds for my parents, who really hate that sort of thing, and can only put up with it for a while. I have my itinerary on a spreadsheet, and so far I have made 4 versions of it, depending on various circumstances (such as when DH decides to leave), plus on each day I have noted the other parks that would also work. We're offsite, so we're avoiding EMH. A copy of that itinerary will be in a prominent place in the condo, and each night we will discuss the plans for the next day. The itinerary is color coded to show which time slots we have planned for my parents to be with us (touring style, attractions and ADRs are planned accordingly for those time slots, so my parents will know that those times are the best ones to join us). I've put a lot of work into this to ensure that the vacation is tailor-made for all members of our party - luckily I thoroughly enjoy doing this!

BTW, we will just miss you - we arrive on April 20.

 

[simzac]

Hi,

I'm usually a lurker but I am finally planning a trip and need your expert advice. My DH is as "un-Disney" as you can get. I would even say that the whole idea of going makes him grumpy and totally stressed out but with 3 kids ages 10, 7 and 4 and myself (we all LOVE Disney) it was time to go. All the reasons you've heard other people state as to why they "hate" Disney - he's used them all.

DH doesn't want to hear anything about Disney - he doesn't want to hear about where we are staying, where we are eating or when we are going where. I am not allowed to talk about it in front of him at all. He says he'll "deal with it" when he gets there. The only opinion he gave was that given the choice between extreme heat or extreme crowds he'd rather we go with the crowds (we could go either in July/Aug or April - we are going in April). I'm really nervous about getting there and he is still being difficult. What can I do while I'm there to make things easier on him? Maybe he should only join us at the parks for part of the time? Should I make sure we have lots of down time? or should I just tell him to stay home?

Also, I just want to let all of you who have cooperative spouses and partners know - you are sooooo lucky!! Everytime I read a post about an excited DH who can't wait to get there - who gets involved in the planning - who tells his kids about all the great stuff they are going to do together it just warms my heart. You are so lucky!
thanks for any advice!

Just leave him at home. You will probably have a much more enjoyable trip. JMO

 

[laura001]

I am close to the same boat as the OP, DH is not a big WDW fan and of course I am over the top. He doesn't want to hear about the planning etc. either.

I did have a conversation with him recently though that made him a little more tolerant, I pointed out to him many of the times that he was sharing something with me, I was attentive and cared what he had to say. I pointed out that if he wanted me to shut up, I would, but have a good look at he was asking, did he want to shut down a part of what makes me me? or did he want to be the kind of husband that didn't enjoy his wifes happiness? (I know a little over the top perhaps, but it did make him think)


We, DH and I, are doing a WDW trip all alone at the of April, I am in "heaven". DH knows that he will have a good time, he just doesn't get into it like me. So.........I have planned a couple of things, first of all, we are going to rent the little jet boat and also ride bikes around our resort, CSR. I am planning the Aqua Tour in Epcot and perhaps the Seguay Tour. DH loves to eat a nice dinner when on holidays, so I have planned late dinners at restaurants we have not tried. Plus he loves the water parks, so have planned 2 days with that.

Maybe try to find some things that he is interested in and make sure to incorporate them into your day (maybe the first night, plan it around him completely). I think the other biggy is to make sure you are there long enough so that it is not rush, rush, rush. Maybe one night you could plan for just DH and you to do something alone? (can't remember your kids ages, but they do have babysitting if you need it)

When we have gone in the past DH did enjoy seeing our kids be so excited, that also adds to the experience. I have taken my kids on 3 separate occasions by myself, but only because he chose not to go.

Hope all goes well and have a great time, we are there on April 25th, perhaps we will run into you!!

 

[susieq76]

My DH likes Disney when we get there.

That being said, up until the minute we step inside "the world" he does not want to hear about our ADRs, he just wants to know we are "on property" (could care less where on property just does not want to drive to the parks). Sometimes its stressful not being able to share more with him

Somethings I've learned to make him enjoy WDW more:

1) I try not to rush him out the door to the parks in the morning (at least 1/2 of the time - I did say try!) It is his vacation too and he wants to relax a little.

2) We spend at least one day "drinking around the world" at Epcot. DH loves to try all the beers around the countries and even though I used to just want to go, go, go- I've learned that a leisurely pace around the countries with a couple of varieties of cocktails is a nice day too. My kids enjoy everything Disney including epcot so they're wonderful too.

3) I make sure I reinforce how lucky the kids are to have a Daddy taking them to Disney World- Its impossible to stay grumpy when he's getting smothered in kisses by his boys.

4) At least one day we're there I take 2 of the kids and let him spend some quality pool time with a son. More than one child can be too stressful but he loves the one-on-one time with his boy and the other two and I love the Downtown Disney shopping.

Hope that helps

 

[tiki23]

My DH really enjoyed our 1st trip this year and is ready to go back next year! I think one of the reasons he did enjoy it so much was that I gave up some of my go-go-commando attitude and didn't rush us out of the hotel in the mornings. He likes to sleep, especially on vacation!

To help me and my gotta-get-up-and-go attitude I took each of the 3 DK's alone one morning. We got to the park at opening, were able to do a lot in a short time and had some great one-on-one time. Of course, my kids are all teens so DH didn't have to look after them while I was out and about.

Whatever you decide might work best for you and your family, make sure you talk to your DH about either before you go or at least when things are calm. You'll need to be careful not to make him feel that you think he's being a wet blanket or he'll probably just get grumpier.

I have to second the TGM advice, too; the info really helped us!

Good luck and I hope your vacation is magical!

 

[deekaypee]

You've gotten so much good advice here that I'll try not to repeat too much. But I just have to second the general idea that one of the best strategies might be to make the trip as "unDisney" as possible. By this, though, I mean that your planning takes into account all the things that folks tend not to like about Disney: long lines, crowds, mediocre food, even a fast-paced, 'go-go-go' itinerary that leaves no time for relaxation. So, I second (third? fourth?) the suggestions about TGM, about getting ADRs at good restaurants, about planning down time. For your DH, I also think that leaving him at the hotel for a few mornings (or evenings, or whatever) while you and the rest of the family soak up the Disney magic might relieve the tension for all of you.

I also like the idea that maybe you could plan a little something just for him. A behind-the-scenes tour? Boating? A round of golf? A day excursion somewhere else? Lounging at the pool/water parks? (It might be early in April for you, but not for folks where I live....) I also like the idea of an adults-oriented events--whether drinking through Epcot, time at PI, or off-world. Maybe he's feeling a little left out of the family vacation, I don't know. But my DH grudgingly has come to accept the Mouse in our house...and a huge part of that acceptance came after I stopped insisting that every minute of every day was spent immersed in the magic. He's much happier spending his days with Disney when we also have an afternoon away, and now he feels the trip is a compromise of our interests rather than just about me, me, me! (C'mon now, we really know it's about me and my love affair with Mickey.) He, in turn, has grown to embrace Disney in his own way!

Oh, and one last thing: I know he doesn't want to be involved in the details of planning, maybe because us Disney-obsessives don't understand when the minutiae of trip planning crosses in craziness. (I barely register my DH's eye rolling anymore. Besides, I now have the DIS folks to share with!) But I agree with tiki23 that you do want to consult him about any plans that might seem to exclude him in advance, letting him know that you're thinking about what make the trip more pleasurable for him, you and the family. Such ideas, if offered as a compromise or as a solution to potential problems, and stated in a non-confrontational manner--which sounds exactly what you'd do, given how sensitive your posts are to his needs--and he might feel relieved, let off the hook, and ultimately much less grumpy!

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I got an idea!!! Take him and let him come to the parks only some of the days and the other days let him stay back at the hotel and relax by the pool, read a good book, take a nap etc. Then on the days he isn't joining you at the parks, set up a nice sit down dinner or maybe a character buffet dinner. Maybe if he doesn't have to do "disney" every day he won't be as grumpy!! Gosh, men are so difficult!!!! Good luck, Linda

I like this idea!

But I also like the idea of leaving him home!


LOL!

 

[loubelou]

I also have an unenthusiastic DH. This will be our third trip and the only 2 reasons he agreed to it was that our boys kept talking about WDW anytime we even started thinking about other vacation destinations and the fact that I was willing to stay offsite. We are staying in a 3 bedroom townhome in Windsor Hills and my DH seems much more on board than in the past.

My DH is the type that does pretty well once he gets there. At times he even enjoys himself. However, if I start trying to tour anywhere near a "comando" type touring he rebels. He likes to sleep late and get to the parks whenever we get there. He doesn't like to be on a schedule and he doesn't like for me to pre-schedule too many meals. He loves the thrill rides and enjoys Epcot and MGM more than the other 2 parks. If the boys get tired or grumpy, he's the first one to give in and go back to the room. He does not like for vacation to be stressful. So, I try really hard to just do a few things that we all really enjoy and be happy. Instead of trying to do as much as possible and make everyone miserable. We have lots of great Disney memories from slowing down thanks to my DH's attitude.

A friend of my DH's rented a villa for a week during last Spring Break and told him how great it was and that they would never stay on-site again. I do have his friend to thank for our trip. My DH is more excited about the prospect of the townhome being roomy and affording us a more laid back trip than anything else.

 

[Redbudlover]

My best advice is to leave him at home and go with the kids by yourself! It sounds like he is going to ruin the trip for everyone. Someone should be asking what HE can be doing to make the trip better for you - not you asking what you can be doing for him. Don't see leaving him at home as A punishment for him - he doesn't want to go. I used to drag an EX h to events and he always made the trip ompossible and no fun. I finally went alone with the kids and we had a blast. Everyone was happy - we didn't have to pay for him and he didn't have to go somewhere he didn't like going. If you need someone to help, ask a girlfriend or MIL, but a 10 and 7 year old should be a lot of help I would think.....