my DD10 came home from her first day of middle school today and was all excited about her new school, classes & teachers. THEN i asked her who she ate lunch with, and she said "no one". it turns out she sat down next to a girl who then moved away from her. she's clean, polite, friendly and has a really big heart...why would that girl not want to sit next to her? she said "i don't know why, but some kids think i'm weird." unfortunately, none of her little circle of friends are in her history class (lunch period). i encouraged her to try harder to make friends in that class, but what specifically should i tell her to do? they have an assigned table for each class-should she just walk over and sit down next to another girl tomorrow? she's so big-hearted and good-natured, it breaks my heart to picture her eating alone.
My daughter is your daughter. She just wanted to be acceped and as had friends in the past thought they would be there. It was a terrible school year as my daughter never learned the skills and ended up picked on, belongings taken state your weird (she is normal) and pinched.
This was ongoing for the prior two years and the school system did not help with any policy for bullying or if you see someone being unkind to others or making friends. My daughter did like a lot of black clothing styles, she wore Disney Pirates instead of Hanna Montana.......She like the role play games boys did.
She ended up home school, agoraphobic, in therapy and now I had to enroll her in cyber school. She was extremly giften, never challangesd enough, The teachers would use her as a role example for good studenship and role modle kids may have resented.
BUT we also lost a child last year and emotionally left her drained. She needed extra tlc and friends and did no have it.
I am 53 her Dad 6o, we were on the verg of heart stress pain trying to work through this.
What your daughter needs is one good friend, maybe it is just the luch time she has no one in her class there, she can ask to sit and say she likes a shirt they have, or if they belong to any activities.
I would speak to the guidance at school to take a walk in and observe her at lunch and maybe take her to a table and introduce her as an ice breaker.
This is the most difficult age. I never had any one to talk about it with. i was the oldest of six and quiet and shy just a few close friends. I could not ask friends over as I was the primary care for the little ones my Mom was stressed with the six.......
My daughter use to go to dance, and Girl Scouts all this she started avoiding and not wanting to go anymore.
It will be a long road for us!
I hope you only have a minor early school situation and it is easily worked out.
I am starting a latchey program just for this situation, among others as socialization for kids, time for kids to be kids, they are safe and have access to time to do homework, some physical activity and snack, This is for the Middle school ages......
I am hoping it takes off with parents needs for it at the start of school. It will be at the middle school until our community center is built.
I still have to work out financial and fees....
IF it should be until activity bus or until 6:00pm?
Soon your daughters phone will be ringing I am sure,
dianne
I had read your post last night and was thinking about it all night. I was too like your daughter. Now I have a DD2 andI worry about when she goes to school. Please let us know what is going on with your daughter. I hope that she has someone to eat luch with real soon....
I'm STILL your daughter, it must be a Tifani (or Tiffany) THING
for both of you. my son is, well, weird so I get it. It is so heart breaking. But I've found, from being around his classrooms, that sometimes it's worse in Macs head. He'll say he has NO friends and noone plays w/ him and noone likes him and when I go to a field trip or award ceremony the other parents are like "OH, so THAT'S Gavin!!! My Betty Sue just LOVES him!" or we go to lunch and a few kids will be saying sit here or over here and he sits by himself. 
And kids pick up on who doesn't have any qualities that are of value. At my school, sadly if a kid became so unpopular as to sit alone, their social status never changed much for the rest of their school lives. My parents had the attitude that I needed to improve myself (talk to kids, act more outgoing) and it was up to me if I wanted friends. If I didn't, well then let the natural consequences happen - aka no friends. In high school, I remember I didn't eat lunch since I had no one to sit with - we were allowed to go to the library instead so that's where I was the whole lunch period.
I didn't go to the same school but had a lot of "friends" in his class that did. I have NO desire whatsoever to go but have been informed that it is my job to go.
