Help! My 10 year old son hates to write!

[kpgclark]

My 10 year old son absolutely hates writing. He'll be in 5th grade next year and I know he'll have even more writing to do than he had this year. I thought it would be a good idea to have him write a little every day but he is really really resistant. HELP! I've given him many topics to write about (eg look outside and describe what you see, describe what we did on Saturday, write about what you think it would be like to visit a volcano, write about what it must be like to be a garbage man, describe the book you just read, write a letter to grandma etc.) He's been sitting at the kitchen table for an hour now basically just sitting and every so often complaining and then even going so far as to say "I wish I was dead" and "I wish I had a different mom". What can I do to get him to enjoy writing?

 

[snoopy]

There was a thread on this very subject not more than 6 months ago. Lots of good advice in there -- do a search - it was on the community board.

Good luck!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Start the first few sentences for him. The sillier the better.

Lori

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

It may help to define your expectaitions. When I want DS 11 to write, I give him a list of 4-6 topics that I think are of interest to him. I then tell him to write 3 or 4 paragraphs about the subject and tell him I expect each paragraph to have at least three sentences. This seems to work since there is a defined expectation and helps the task seem doable, and more important for a kid that age--finishable. If your son is really reluctant, you may want to start with one paragraph.

My DS does "bookwork" every week day during the summer. His participation in other activities--going to the pool, shooting hoops, etc. does not occur until he has put forth a decent effort on the book work.This is working extremely well for us this summer. I think it is going so well because I got DS's input at the start of the summer. I asked DS to write down what he felt he needed to do over the summer to keep sharp for school, what chores he thought he should be responsible for and what he thought a typical summer day should look like. Based on his answers we came up with a schedule of chores, bookwork and summer activities.

 

[Feralpeg]

When I was teaching, I had students that hated to write. I put together 3 lists of words. One list contained nouns. The second list contained verbs. The third was a list of adjectives. I'd have them pick one word from each list. This gave them the start of something to write about. They liked it because they'd get very strange combinations. I also did not judge them on their sentence structure, spelling, etc. I just let them write. They need to first decide they like to say things in writing before they had to start worrying about grammer, etc. You might try writing one sentence and then having him write the next. Continue this way. Make it come out as silly as possible. Have fun with it. A lot of kids think of writing as a chore. It needs to be fun. The content should be more important at this point.

Writing is so important. I wish more people were concerned about their children's writing skills. Good luck!

 

[DoeWDW]

Tell him he may complain, but he has to do it in writing! Seriously, let him write a compelling answer on why he should be able to skip writing every day.

I do think every day might be a bit much for him. A little practice might go a long way. Does he like Japanese anime - buy him one of the mangas that are so popular and insist that he write a summary of the story before you'll buy him another.

Play Mad-Libs with him. Those are the stories where you fill in a noun or an adjective and create a funny story.

Best of luck!!

 

[mrsv98]

When I taught 2nd grade this was an issue with a couple of boys. When we analyzed the problem, we realized that the physical act of writing was very difficult for them. In other words, their small motor skills were underdeveloped. If this is the case, I would advise having your son work on a computer and/or dictate his work. Many times, because the physical part of writing is so hard, these kids get easily discouraged and the whole process is doomed to failure. By amending the process, you can free his creativity and allow the words to flow in a more natural form.

If you take dictation, be sure you don't interupt or correct, editing can be done later. If you let him use the computer do two different things. One, get him working on a word processing program and cover up his hands so he can't "cheat" and look at the keyboard. Trust me, the earlier kids keyboard (3rd grade to start) the better. Secondly, when he is "writing" let him go, let him look at his hands if need be and turn off the spelling and grammar checker if possible. Again, editing is for later.

Aside from this, I agree with the "silly sentence starter" idea, try and key into something he is interested in, it will make the process easier.

HTH!

 

[Robinrs]

::sigh::

Welcome to my world! My son HATES to write and gets As in Language arts! Go figure!

His handwriting has suffered because of it so I have to MAKE him work on it everyday. Yep, they may mutter but HEY we're not here to be their buddies, we're here to be the bad guy! Yikes, it's not a fun job but it's what we do!

I started out making him write a paragraph about his favorite videos or DVDs. He was not allowed to see another one unless a "book report" was written about the last one.

We went to see Spiderman2 last week. Afterwards he had to sit down and DESCRIBE the movie so someone who had not seen it would understand it. It's amazing how descriptive they can be when the subject is something they LIKE!

Since he has problems with fine motor skills I have him doing all sorts of things that require tiny hand movements. As long as he doesn't realize it he does it well!

Good luck. Michael is going to the fifth grade next year, too and this has been a fight since kindergarten!!

 

[tkd lisa]

Is it the physical part of writing, or the creative part that he hates? My DD particularly has really bad problems with the physical part (very poor fine motor skills). Offering the computer as an option works best for her.

On the creative side, the same DD's 6th grade teacher had "painless" book reports. It had 10 standard questions that needed to be answered in complete sentences, then 10 "leading questions". The ten standard questions were thing like 1. Title, 2. Author, 3. Setting (time/place), 4. Major problem, 5. One solution to the major problem, etc.

The "leading questions" were picked from a list of things like:
1. I was surprised when
2. I wish the main character would have
3. One thing the author wanted me to know is

etc. etc. Basically the teacher put together a fill in the blank type structure, and the kids just made it unique for their book.

Something like that might help your son if he just can't figure out how to begin. Kind of like a chinese menu. One from column A, two from column B.

 

[kpgclark]

TDKLisa, if you have that page around somewhere I'd love a copy.

My son ended up complaining and then when he was ready (after an hour at the table) he just sat and quickly wrote a story about how he slept in a tent this weekend. Boom, boom, boom. Done. I just wish he'd work that quickly right after he sits down to get it over with. You all have some great suggestions. I think he'll really enjoy the silly beginnings because he is a silly kid.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I second the Mad Libs! We have been doing them all summer. 7yodd is getting a grammer education and having fun while doing it.

We also will make up "spoofs" of movies or books. Like "Hairy Potty". It can get a little gross but they have a blast with it. The fun part is making the "spoof". We laugh our heads off coming up with things.

Or you write a sentence, he writes the next one. Make a silly story.

Have him write about things he reads, like a book report.

 

[cati]

xx

 

[Kallison]

Well I may get flamed but I say let him enjoy the summer. At the most have him write to an Aunt or a cousin or some postcards on vacation. I work in a middle school, some kids are just not cut out to be writers. Not everyone has that writing ability. I think schools and parents put to much emphasis on kids being brilliant at everything. He will hate it if you force him. Other than that I would go with bribery, money always works around here. The only school work I give my kids is reading books over the summer and when they were learning their multiplication tables they had to do that.

 

[Lanshark]

Determine whether he just doesn't like to write or whether he has extreme difficulity. If the latter it could be an underlying learning disability called dysgraphia. If there is a general problem in reading/spelling or language arts could be dyslexia. My DD is dyslexic it is extremely frustrating. Very high IQ but difficulities in the language area.

 

[ElizK]

My DD9 has mild dysgraphia, which is similar to dyslexia, but involves writing only (no reading problems). She has great ideas, but finds it very difficult to get them from her head to her paper, partly because she has to think cognitively (rather than automatically) about how each letter is supposed to look. Her writing is sloppy with very poor spelling. I was referred by a learning disabilties bulletin board to www.hwtears.com

They have practice writing books for all ages and levels of ability, and they're only 5.75 each. I bought 3 plus the teacher's guide. I show her how the letter is to be formed (if she needs to be shown). She does one page per day. It takes about 15 mins total, only writing for 5. I'm amazed how much her writing has improved!

Also, a friend gave me a molded pencil holder to put on her paper. It helps her hold the pencil correctly because it doesn't feel right unless her fingers are in the right place. It came from a teacher's supply store. I was very impressed at how it improved her writing -- and so was she!

HTH

 

[Otto's Doll]

My 11 yo DS also has Dysgraphia, but like a lot of the others mentioned here, does great in school and in fact received the Presidential Award for Academic Excellence this year. (Some encouragement for those going through this struggle that these kids are usually very smart!) He had a program in school last year called writing lab, it was for an hour every day and emphasized writing and grammer. It helped him immensely. I was just thinking that we should be doing some writing thsi summer and will be starting him in that direction. If you do a search on Dysgraphia you can see if the symptoms fit your child, and then you can print out the info to show his teachers as well. It will give you ideas on how to help. Good luck!

 

[kpgclark]

I don't think he has a problem like dysgraphia. He just lacks motivation. If he puts his mind to it he can write. I don't bribe him, but if I did bribe him with a new toy he'd write forever. Today when he finally began writing he ripped right through the story. He's just not into writing and it is sometimes a battle to get him started. I just want him to practice writing over the summer because he'll have a lot of it to do in 5th grade.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I am thrilled that a parent encourages a child to write over the summer. Do you encourage him to read?? Have him read for 15 minutes ANd then write two sentences that sum up what he has read. If possible buy a bunch of prizes he can earn and set up the system like a store. Pay him in "play money" and then allow him to buy what he wants at the end of each week.

Another idea is let him draw a picture first and then write about what he has drawn. Lots of people do not think in words but in picutres(visual spatial) if you give him permission to draw and make it valid as a means to express himself the written language will be easier. He may not be a verbal linguistic child so trying to make him write when that is not his first line of communication causes him to feel less than adequate. YOu can also make sectioned paper and let him make a comic strip with a caption under each picture(this helps with sequentail writing). If you really want to get fancy go to the art store and buy storyboard paper.

YOu begin a story and let him write a few sentences and then you write a few.

You do not always need to make him write. Tell him to think up a story and then tell it to you using sequence words (first, next ,then after , finally) and you write it down.
Vary what you ask him to do and if necessary put down a bunch of ideas and let him pull them out of a hat to keep it fresh. Help him brainstorm topics with single words. Get him a box of markers and ask him to brainstorm what the box looks like etc. Have him interview someone interesting in the family (grandparents) and have them tell him a story about when they were young and have him write a summary of it.

Just telling him to sit and write with you providing topics is tortorture. It seems as if you need to introduce a little fun and variety into the mix.

Finally, and this one always works for me. Make a project with him cookies, kite, etc. Then ask him to write in sequence about what he has done and in enough detail so someone else could copy it. It is much easier for kids in grade 4 to write about what they know so non fiction writing will be easier(except for the comic strip they love that). Make it clear that you want beginning capitals and appropriate end marks as well as the use of at least one adjective per sentence. "NO naked nouns".

 

[kpgclark]

Thanks! I've been trying to spice it up for him but it has been difficult. I'll try some of the ideas here. They are great!

 

[Disneymomma]

There is a PSSA (Pennsylvania State Assessment) test in writing for all 6th graders that is given in the beginning of 6th grade, so he has the next year to prepare for it. I think that it is great that you are looking to help him with this because there are many reluctant writers out there! You can also go to the Pennsylvania Department of Education site and they will give you samples of past prompts used in those tests for writing such as informative, persuasive, expository and informational types of writing. I usually "loop" with my groups from 5th to 6th grades, so we begin this process in 5th so they are pros by the time the test rolls around in 6th. I had 14 out of the 16 that looped with me score proficient, and one was advanced. This is no small feat for an inner city school rated persistently dangerous, and whose test scores are 96 % below basic! There are sample writings from students as well as rubrics used by the state to grade them. Once my kids saw the student writings and what was expected, they all GOT IT! These are students who came to me in 5th reading on 1-3rd grade levels, so they were reluctant readers as well. I make writing a huge part of the program in my room and it is very personalized for them so they maintain"ownership" over their writing. I also use "Lessons that Change Writers", by Nancie Atwell, which is awesome! ( A bit pricey @ $65-but has great examples.) I love writing and it has rubbed off on my children in class, as long as I help them to uncover the topics they love to write about, and show them the format in which to do it effectively. When they leave me after two years, I know they can effectively communicate through writing, which is a wonderful gift they can use throughout their lives. Please look at the website, I think it will help your son to see what he needs to do in a very concrete way.I have seen many" Ah ha" moments when kids have practiced using examples by other students their age. (Poetry is another effective way to motivate relcutant writers, as the writings can begin as small works, and grow as their confidence builds.) All students can be phenominal writers-It is up to us to show them how!