Help me with a decision i'm currently struggling with

[gator75]

My husband works for a company that has some depts that are open during the holidays. While don't get me wrong we like thanksgiving we usually don't do alot because he is usually working , so what we do do is we go away somewhere not real far away , and go shopping for black friday and this and that , well they have had quite a few people over the past months loose their jobs , and dh was recently prompted, so boss come to him yesterday and says here are your options for that weekend. work all days thurs - sun except fri . this is on thanksgiving weekend mind you so god forbid she would work , so in his frustration he told her nevermind i'll just work it all.


so here is what i want to know. W ould you still go out of town with dh working? It would be me ds, and my parents while dh is at home earning a living. or would you stay closer to home for him? if we stay home all we will be doing is staring at eachother anyway as dh will work all day the whole weekend. I' conflicted over what to do. DH says to go , but i can tell he is sad while saying it , as he loves black friday as much as i do . So please tell me what you would do would you stay or would you go?

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

Personally, I'd stay, but find something fun to do so we're not just sitting around. Can you meet him out for lunch a couple days? Or maybe go out in the evening if he's not too tired? One year, my mom and I went out in the evening on Black Friday and pretty much had the place to ourselves. (Granted, it looked like a hundred Bridezillas had stormed through the stores, but it was nice and calm when we went.)

 

[Mermaid02]

My husband works for a company that has some depts that are open during the holidays. While don't get me wrong we like thanksgiving we usually don't do alot because he is usually working , so what we do do is we go away somewhere not real far away , and go shopping for black friday and this and that , well they have had quite a few people over the past months loose their jobs , and dh was recently prompted, so boss come to him yesterday and says here are your options for that weekend. work all days thurs - sun except fri . this is on thanksgiving weekend mind you so god forbid she would work , so in his frustration he told her nevermind i'll just work it all.


so here is what i want to know. W ould you still go out of town with dh working? It would be me ds, and my parents while dh is at home earning a living. or would you stay closer to home for him? if we stay home all we will be doing is staring at eachother anyway as dh will work all day the whole weekend. I' conflicted over what to do. DH says to go , but i can tell he is sad while saying it , as he loves black friday as much as i do . So please tell me what you would do would you stay or would you go?

I would probably stay home- have Thanksgiving dinner when he is home- maybe do some Christmas decorating over the weekend.

 

[powellrj]

I would stay home and just have the holiday at home. I guess I am not the person to answer this because DH has always worked the day after Thanksgiving and DS always works Thanksgiving so I just have the meal late that afternoon and then I do what I want on Black Friday because he is at work.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would probably stay home and then have T-Day on Fri when he is home.

 

[okeydokey]

I would probably stay home and then have T-Day on Fri when he is home.

I think the OP said he was working this day as well, so he will be at work every day during the holiday.

What does your DH want you to do? Does he mind if you go away with your son and parents?

 

[Mermaid02]

I think the OP said he was working this day as well, so he will be at work every day during the holiday.

What does your DH want you to do? Does he mind if you go away with your son and parents?

Right- he had the opportunity to have Friday off, but he cut off his nose to spite his face.

I would still stay home, have Thanksgiving at some point WHEN he is home (Thursday evening maybe) and then make the rest of the weekend special- like I said, start your holiday decorating or do your shopping online!! A lot of Black Friday deals are available online!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think the OP said he was working this day as well, so he will be at work every day during the holiday.

What does your DH want you to do? Does he mind if you go away with your son and parents?

Oh I see.

Well part of the issue it seems is that OP does not even cook on Thanksgiving maybe?

To me it appears that they go away every holiday?

Is that right OP?

 

[barkley]

from what you posted it sounds like even if you stay home your husband won't be able to do your black friday "tradition". that being the case i guess you have to look at if you do other traditions for thanksgiving that you want to keep your husband a part of that such that you/kiddo traveling would make it impossible.

btw-i don't know what kind of job your dh has, but as far as his boss schedualing him vs. herself to work over that weekend (cuz from your post it looks to me like your dh has always worked the actual holdiay but has gotten friday, saturday and sunday off-so the only real change the boss made was him working the weekend, cuz it was your dh who chose to work friday when she said he would still have it off) is your dh's actual job something the boss does or could even consider doing? reason i ask is holiday time off was always one of the things i hated dealing with most in managment-people got ticked off at me if i schedualed them while i was taking time off, but the reality was i had to have certain kinds of employees on the job (minimum numbers in certain job classifications) and i could'nt swap myself out to cover for them to give them the day off. the nature of the way my job worked was very strict on who could do what. i also had to take into consideration the managment staff MY boss had put in place for certain days (my boss drove my schedual i could'nt just opt to work in place of one of my staff members).

unfortunatly one of the things that comes with accepting a promotion can be becoming low man on the totem pole for holiday time off, and if there are cut backs in a department, taking a promotion can shift you from being in a job where there's more people for the boss to share the burden of working holidays to being one of only a handful (and if it's like my former job, that handful used their seniority to get holiday time off approved as far in advance as we allowed-at one point that was a full calendar year in advance).


i hope you can figure out something that works out for everyone.

 

[scrapquitler]

so here is what i want to know. W ould you still go out of town with dh working? It would be me ds, and my parents while dh is at home earning a living. or would you stay closer to home for him? if we stay home all we will be doing is staring at eachother anyway as dh will work all day the whole weekend. I' conflicted over what to do. DH says to go , but i can tell he is sad while saying it , as he loves black friday as much as i do . So please tell me what you would do would you stay or would you go?

I would go out of town with the DS and your parents and have fun. I would also do a Thanksgiving meal at home with DH the Sunday before Thanksgiving.

As I'm always trying to explain to my MIL, the holiday is not about the DAY it's about the family together-ness, and if that happens a few days early or a few days late, it doesn't matter, the being a family is the important part. So we can still celebrate Thanksgiving even if it is on a different day.

Besides that, why sit at home alone with DS while DH is at work?

 

[luvsJack]

Do you have to go away somewhere to shop?

I would make (or buy) a simple T-day dinner and have the folks over T-day night for a family dinner, then go shopping with the others on Black Friday while dh works, go home early and rest and then go out shopping that night when he gets home -- just you and him.

If that doesn't work, plan something special for both t-day night and friday night. Sometimes doing something completly different helps when you can't do your traditional stuff.

 

[Jennasis]

Stores are open all day on Black Friday. Go out and shop either at 5am before his shift, or after he comes home.

I know your just venting, but the boss IS the boss, and the benefit of being the boss is that you get to tell others wht to do, have them do the least desirable work (sometimes) and get the pick of the holidays. Your DH should be THRILLED to have gotten that promotion in this economy and with so many others at his place of work having been let go.

 

[EllenFrasier]

What hours does your Dh work? If he works 12 hours a day, he's not gong to want to eat or do anything after work. Does he work morning through afternoon? Then he could still eat dinner with you all, maybe go shopping or to a movie in the evening. If he won't be home beyond going to bed, then I would go away for the weekend.

 

[babyrich]

It looks like you are saying he has to work Thanksgiving day and the Sat and Sun after that. If that is the case have your Thanksgiving meal when he comes home Thursday, go shopping with him on Black Friday and then maybe you and the other family memebers can go away overnight Sat to Sun.

My DH works at a shopping mall so he always works Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Saturday. We deal with it.

I am sure he is upset because he has to work but wouldnt he be more upset sitting home alone the entire weekend?

Good Luck!

 

[gator75]

Thanks for all the answers. he works for a petroleim company he has in the past worked the morning of thanksgiving and had the rest of the weekend off , not this year though because like i said there have been alot of people in the past month that have lost their jobs , and don't get me wrong i'm thrilled that he got promoted , but it still makes me sad that i have to decide what we will be doing. In the past we always had thanksgiving dinner the sunday before , and then had thanksgiving dinner when we reached our destination.

The real sad thing about it is that he
had the requested time off on the calender for 7 months so it wasn't a spur of the moment decesion , and him and his boss do exactly the same job so it isn't as if she couldn't be kind and work for him especially because wer already know that he will be working the rest of the holiday season because she will be gone overchristmas. sorry about the long post just trying to vent.

 

[holycow]

Stay home.

Shop closer to home when he is working. Have a nice meal when he is home in the evenings.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd probably have a hard time leaving my DH home alone over sa long holiday weekend when I knew he was already distressed at having to work.

 

[luvsJack]

Thanks for all the answers. he works for a petroleim company he has in the past worked the morning of thanksgiving and had the rest of the weekend off , not this year though because like i said there have been alot of people in the past month that have lost their jobs , and don't get me wrong i'm thrilled that he got promoted , but it still makes me sad that i have to decide what we will be doing. In the past we always had thanksgiving dinner the sunday before , and then had thanksgiving dinner when we reached our destination.

The real sad thing about it is that he
had the requested time off on the calender for 7 months so it wasn't a spur of the moment decesion , and him and his boss do exactly the same job so it isn't as if she couldn't be kind and work for him especially because wer already know that he will be working the rest of the holiday season because she will be gone overchristmas. sorry about the long post just trying to vent.

Ohhhh. I see the problem. He is going to end up working both T-day and over Christmas? I see why the aggravation and venting. I would be a bit miffed too. Did he remind her that he had the time off on the calendar for 7 months?

 

[MichelleVW]

I would go out of town with the DS and your parents and have fun. I would also do a Thanksgiving meal at home with DH the Sunday before Thanksgiving.

As I'm always trying to explain to my MIL, the holiday is not about the DAY it's about the family together-ness, and if that happens a few days early or a few days late, it doesn't matter, the being a family is the important part. So we can still celebrate Thanksgiving even if it is on a different day.

Besides that, why sit at home alone with DS while DH is at work?

I agree with this. My DH is in IT and has pretty much worked every Thanksgiving, Christmas in the past 6 years. We don't mind because the holiday pay is awesome and we just celebrate another day.

Honestly my DH would want me to go ahead with my plans if he had to work.

 

[barkley]

Thanks for all the answers. he works for a petroleim company he has in the past worked the morning of thanksgiving and had the rest of the weekend off , not this year though because like i said there have been alot of people in the past month that have lost their jobs , and don't get me wrong i'm thrilled that he got promoted , but it still makes me sad that i have to decide what we will be doing. In the past we always had thanksgiving dinner the sunday before , and then had thanksgiving dinner when we reached our destination.

The real sad thing about it is that he
had the requested time off on the calender for 7 months so it wasn't a spur of the moment decesion , and him and his boss do exactly the same job so it isn't as if she couldn't be kind and work for him especially because wer already know that he will be working the rest of the holiday season because she will be gone overchristmas. sorry about the long post just trying to vent.

i know you are venting, but i have to share-a friend's dh works for a petrolium company (been there over 20 years), and just last year she was telling me how for the first time EVER since he's worked there they were going to have thanksgiving dinner ON thanksgiving DURING the dinner hour. she was stressing because she had'nt cooked an actual thanksgiving meal on thanksgiving in over 20 years, and she was trying to figure out how to handle it with what had become her family's thanksgiving day tradition (getting pizza, going to a movie and sleeping most of the day to hit the stores that start black friday sales at midnight). so hearing of someone who works in that industry that's traditionaly gotten that night off let alone the associated weekend is mind blowing to me.

btw-did your dh have the opportunity to negotiate on pre-approved vacations before he accepted the promotion? this was always a factor when i promoted someone, if they had preapproved vacation unless they negotiated with me to carry it into the new position (where they would now have new lower seniority over their co-workers) it was common knowledge that they had to start the vacation request process all over again.