Help me feel a little better about this! [Update Post 54 Pg 4]

[Va-bear]

Why would the wife apologize? It was her jerk husband who acted a fool.

I'm as big a womens libber as you might find, but if my husband messed up like that and then yelled at a neighbor I would apologize profusely....kind of looking out for the family thing. I'd expect him to apologize too mind you, but I'm kind of guessing that he might be too big of an Eeyore to do that... but, I see your point. But, mainly, I was thinking the wife would be showing she sees the error of his ways by apologizing....

 

[denisenh]

You are not at fault. If Dad needed you to watch Jr. after school, he should have made prior arrangements and not just expected you to be available for his daily call. I would call mom and tell her exactly that. You don't mind occasionally taking care of Jr., but you really need some advance notice just in case you have something else to do.
Tha dad sounds like a horses butt.

This lovely couple needs to arrange to have sitter at their house to welcome the child home if they are not going to be there.

The father is wrong because he never spoke with you. I don't care if he called your cell a thousand times and left a voicemail each time, he did not speak with you and, therefore, he needed to be home when you dropped off the boy.

Any responsible parent wouldn't depend on a voice mail to pass along an important message like this one. You are not the one at fault and should not apologize to these two dummies.

Don't call them again and take care of your childs transportation. They messed up, their problem.

 

[bumbershoot]

Well besides the father being a jerk....

What's the big issue with the boy being at home alone??

The kid's 7. Not generally allowed anymore.

Heck, my mom was totally at wits end trying to find responsible sitters for us, and she finally called a halt to those attempts when I turned 9. And that was DARING, even back in '78ish (especially b/c my brother would have been 6/7 and I was watching him), and we didn't generally talk about the arrangement in public.

Nowadays...it's likely illegal most everywhere in this country.

I'm as big a womens libber as you might find, but if my husband messed up like that and then yelled at a neighbor I would apologize profusely.

Me too.

 

[hereyago]

I had a friend years ago, her bf was an you fill in with any adjective. He would act up and she would apologize for him. Finally I told her she should apologize for being stupid and letting a guy treat her and her friends as he did.

Now, if this wife doesn't know all that has been going on and the OP tells her what happened. I would hope she would not be a weak woman and not make him go over himself and apologize. Then he still would have some splaynin to do why he was not there when school lets out same time possilbly every day and he wasn't home.

 

[SandrA9810]

You guys keep saying toddler... the boy is 7, a toddler is like 3-5yrs old.

 

[dis-happy]

You guys keep saying toddler... the boy is 7, a toddler is like 3-5yrs old.

??? I assumed from the OP that the 7 year old has a toddler sibling. Mom doesn't want to drag the toddler out of the house on a cold morning. Toddlers are little, ages 1 (when they start toddling) to about 3, at which time they become pre-schoolers).

 

[bumbershoot]

She wrote:

I really appreciate her dropping my kid off so my toddler does not have to go out in the winter mornings.

 

[SandrA9810]

ohh ok... i dunno... it just seemed like people were saying the boy was a toddler...

 

[Magic Mom]

??? I assumed from the OP that the 7 year old has a toddler sibling. Mom doesn't want to drag the toddler out of the house on a cold morning. Toddlers are little, ages 1 (when they start toddling) to about 3, at which time they become pre-schoolers).

You're right. That was pretty clear from the original post.

 

[smidgy]

your deal was for carpooling, not babysitting. I would speak with both parents together. Inform them that if they need you for babysitting,they should ask you ahead of time. IF you are available, your rates are..(fill in the blank).
while you dont' mind an "emergency" I'll watch your kid till you get home, it's obvious you are being taken advantage of. It's the age old philosophy of "the stay-at-home mom is "home anyways". totally unfair.

 

[love2disney]

Thanks everyone for your support and advice. DH was very very mad when he heard of all this. He went over to their house yesterday and spoke to the guy and the mom was there too. Basically he told them that while we would love to keep the arrangement going it would only be possible if it was limited to the car with no babysitting involved. He said if for any reason like a job interviews we would have no issues baby sitting him but I would need intimation the nigh before otherwise at any shorter notice its not possible for me.

And while I told him to let it go he insisted on bringing up Fridays matter and asked the guy if he could come within 5 minutes of us dropping the kid home and knew an hour earlier that he had not spoken to me personally then why did he not just come on time.

And for those of you who asked the mom knew of all this latecoming. And while I dont like the DH [there have been many posts about him in the past too] I love the mom and the kid is my sons very good friend. So I really did not want this to end on a sour note.

Oh I forgot to add I did speak to the wife and told her I fel bad that her son had to go in to an empty house and she said it was no big deal. The reason Dh went was my younger one was down with a fever and Dh wanted thing to be cut and dried before the week started. DH was very hopping mad at this whole incident and I had to calm him down b4 he went over.

 

[Christine]

Thanks everyone for your support and advice. DH was very very mad when he heard of all this. He went over to their house yesterday and spoke to the guy and the mom was there too. Basically he told them that while we would love to keep the arrangement going it would only be possible if it was limited to the car with no babysitting involved. He said if for any reason like a job interviews we would have no issues baby sitting him but I would need intimation the nigh before otherwise at any shorter notice its not possible for me.

And while I told him to let it go he insisted on bringing up Fridays matter and asked the guy if he could come within 5 minutes of us dropping the kid home and knew an hour earlier that he had not spoken to me personally then why did he not just come on time.

And for those of you who asked the mom knew of all this latecoming. And while I dont like the DH [there have been many posts about him in the past too] I love the mom and the kid is my sons very good friend. So I really did not want this to end on a sour note.

Oh, wow. I'll probably make you feel worse, but I'm thinking that maybe your DH should not have been the one to do this??? It needed to be done and I'm sure he was very mad but now it seems like an uncomfortable situation.

Maybe, at some point, you can call the wife up and tell her that despite all that happened, you really value her friendship as well as the child.

 

[love2disney]

Oh I forgot to add I did speak to the wife and told her I fel bad that her son had to go in to an empty house and she said it was no big deal. The reason Dh went was my younger one was down with a fever and Dh wanted thing to be cut and dried before the week started. DH was very hopping mad at this whole incident and I had to calm him down b4 he went over.

 

[mjkacmom]

Oh I forgot to add I did speak to the wife and told her I fel bad that her son had to go in to an empty house and she said it was no big deal. The reason Dh went was my younger one was down with a fever and Dh wanted thing to be cut and dried before the week started. DH was very hopping mad at this whole incident and I had to calm him down b4 he went over.

Why couldn't your DH stay with your child for a half hour or so? I leave my sick kids with DH all of the time (he's the vomit cleaner-upper in our home).

 

[love2disney]

Well you dont know my over clingy toddler. I havent been able to do much coz he has been hanging on my neck all day. Plus like I said in the original post my car was parked in the street paring in front of their house so DH had to go and clean it and get it to the driveway. I am the vomit cleaner in my house and DH is the breaking you back snow shoveller/lawn mowe etc.

 

[sunnyday123]

Why couldn't your DH stay with your child for a half hour or so? I leave my sick kids with DH all of the time (he's the vomit cleaner-upper in our home).

Plus, the other DH yelled at her. I don't know of any guy who would not want to talk to another "man" ( used loosely here ) that yelled at his wife/girlfriend/sister/mother.

 

[Mermaid02]

I see no problem with your dh going over.... the other husband yelled at you- he is a bully and I'm willing to bet he doesn't have the [edited] to yell at your husband.

I hope things work out from here on.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I see no problem with your dh going over.... the other husband yelled at you- he is a bully and I'm willing to bet he doesn't have the kahunas to yell at your husband.

I hope things work out from here on.

I completely agree! I don't see you or your DH as doing anything wrong.

Hope your little one feels better soon.

 

[Heidict]

Glad to hear the update. I don't think there was anything wrong with your DH speaking with the other father. He yelled at you and if possible, he very well may have tied to intimidate you if you went over there alone. I don't see a bully like him standing up to your upset husband.

 

[agnes!]

Good for your DH. Give him an extra hug for me. That's what partners do, they stand up for each other. I'm sure he didn't yell (like Mr Obnoxious did), but perhaps spoke...um....forcefully.

And, OP, even though you like this mom, I'm shocked that she knew what was going on and was ok with it. If they need a babysitter, they should pay you or trade favors (if money is tight) or something, they shouldn't just expect you to be their babysitter for several hours a week with no compensation.

It's funny, Mr. Obnoxious yelled at you because he was in the wrong and he knows it... and *yet* he somehow found a way to blame you for his shortcomings. Almost sounds like an abusive personality of some type?

agnes!