Help Me Enjoy My Trip To WDW...Long

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I have a huge problem. One I don't feel comfortable talking about with 'real' people. I thought about using another name but oh well..here is my problem. You know the kind of people. The ones that seem always angry, always in a bad mood directing it at someone? The kind of guy that is never happy but insists that you keep trying, to make him happy? The one that his opinions are the only ones that matter? Do you know anyone like this? Well I am married to one of them.

DH (don't know which word I am using the 'D' for nowadays) and my mother have never gotten along. Both always have to be right but my mom is a little nicer about it. My mom loves DLR and so do I. I am from So Cal and DL reminds me of being young and reminds me of 'home'. My DH is always putting Calif. down. I think he does it on purpose. I also love WDW. I love it because it is a great place but my heart will always belong to DL. My DH always brings up how much better WDW is than DL. My mom just talks about how much she loves DL and would like to take a trip with me. Well DH decided that Memorial day would be the perfect time to 'put her in her place' as he says. Since he was such and a** and had to prove his point I find myself put off by the trip. He is acting like everything is fine, like I am the one with the problem. His actions hurt me and the way he spoke to my mother is hard to forget or forgive. He wants to plan things and look up new things and read reviews but honestly I am at a place where even WDW doesn't seem fun. But the kiddos are still excited and I am still taking the trip mainly for them.

Now I know most of the replies will tell me that there are much bigger problems in my marriage than WDW. Trust me I know. DH refusing to get help (I am) but I still need to find a way to perk myself up for this trip. I will not cancel it and disappoint the kids.

 

[Sandy321]

I have a huge problem. One I don't feel comfortable talking about with 'real' people. I thought about using another name but oh well..here is my problem. You know the kind of people. The ones that seem always angry, always in a bad mood directing it at someone? The kind of guy that is never happy but insists that you keep trying, to make him happy? The one that his opinions are the only ones that matter? Do you know anyone like this? Well I am married to one of them.

DH (don't know which word I am using the 'D' for nowadays) and my mother have never gotten along. Both always have to be right but my mom is a little nicer about it. My mom loves DLR and so do I. I am from So Cal and DL reminds me of being young and reminds me of 'home'. My DH is always putting Calif. down. I think he does it on purpose. I also love WDW. I love it because it is a great place but my heart will always belong to DL. My DH always brings up how much better WDW is than DL. My mom just talks about how much she loves DL and would like to take a trip with me. Well DH decided that Memorial day would be the perfect time to 'put her in her place' as he says. Since he was such and a** and had to prove his point I find myself put off by the trip. He is acting like everything is fine, like I am the one with the problem. His actions hurt me and the way he spoke to my mother is hard to forget or forgive. He wants to plan things and look up new things and read reviews but honestly I am at a place where even WDW doesn't seem fun. But the kiddos are still excited and I am still taking the trip mainly for them.

Now I know most of the replies will tell me that there are much bigger problems in my marriage than WDW. Trust me I know. DH refusing to get help (I am) but I still need to find a way to perk myself up for this trip. I will not cancel it and disappoint the kids.

I'm not sure what advice you are looking for?

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I'm not sure what advice you are looking for?

What I was looking for was in my title. The background is in my post. Thanks for the reply though.

 

[JohnsPrincess]

Well...in my experience, killing them with kindness works wonders. My Step dad can be a major ...um...bad person. He has destroyed vacations and just been a pill. Last Christmas I joined my mom, him, and my baby sister in London (DH was in Iraq) and every time he started acting up we were sooo sweet. "Oh! Looks like someone is GRUMPY! Time to go get a cider! *giggle*". He honestly didn't know how to react to that and usually either simmered right down, or went off by himself for a while.

I guess part II of my advice is to just HAVE FUN. You are going to WDW!! Your DH acting like a tool is NO reason for you and the kiddos not to enjoy yourselves. I LOVE Disneyland. I think it's so sweet and has such a great vibe...but there is just So Much to do at WDW - it's fun and exciting and just great!

Where are you guys staying? How long? Any dining reservations??

 

[Sandy321]

OK -

You get to decide - you cant change other people, you can only change you... or (I'm not good at quotes!) The thing I tell my kids when they go over is who can you change? who can you control?

so I guess its all about attitude!

When I first read your post if you wanted help it sounded like you may need to divorce or get rid of the mil to enjoy your trip to WDW...

do your kids get to plan? Your signature says you've been many times - what is it that you enjoy?

How about trying the Mickey's Magical Milestone Tour in the MK - its $25 per person - or maybe planning something without dh and mil? The Behind the Seeds Tour in EPCOT is $10 per person I think....

here's a link to tours on Deb's allears.net site:
http://land.allears.net/reviewpost/showcat.php?cat=66

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

OK -

You get to decide - you cant change other people, you can only change you... or (I'm not good at quotes!) The thing I tell my kids when they go over is who can you change? who can you control?

so I guess its all about attitude!

When I first read your post if you wanted help it sounded like you may need to divorce or get rid of the mil to enjoy your trip to WDW...

do your kids get to plan? Your signature says you've been many times - what is it that you enjoy?

How about trying the Mickey's Magical Milestone Tour in the MK - its $25 per person - or maybe planning something without dh and mil? The Behind the Seeds Tour in EPCOT is $10 per person I think....

here's a link to tours on Deb's allears.net site:
http://land.allears.net/reviewpost/showcat.php?cat=66

My mom is not going on our trip. My DH has been so nasty that he has soured my feelings about WDW. I can't help the way I feel. This will only be our second time to WDW. It is DL that I have been to numerous times.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Well...in my experience, killing them with kindness works wonders. My Step dad can be a major ...um...bad person. He has destroyed vacations and just been a pill. Last Christmas I joined my mom, him, and my baby sister in London (DH was in Iraq) and every time he started acting up we were sooo sweet. "Oh! Looks like someone is GRUMPY! Time to go get a cider! *giggle*". He honestly didn't know how to react to that and usually either simmered right down, or went off by himself for a while.

I guess part II of my advice is to just HAVE FUN. You are going to WDW!! Your DH acting like a tool is NO reason for you and the kiddos not to enjoy yourselves. I LOVE Disneyland. I think it's so sweet and has such a great vibe...but there is just So Much to do at WDW - it's fun and exciting and just great!

Where are you guys staying? How long? Any dining reservations??

Thank you for the reply. I don't think the 'kill em with kindness' will work. I am too upset to even be nice. I am just trying to perk myself up for the trip not to spoil it for the kids. Maybe I am looking for advice...maybe I am just venting.

 

[Sandy321]

I'm sorry your dh is being such a jerk (and I apologize for mis-reading your post!)

I've read that some WDW go-ers dont like DL - and on the DL forum I've read how much DL go-ers LOVE DL - so I've never been to DL I can see how they are completely different!

You cant do everything at WDW - you do need a plan - the best one is to go at park opening!

Make a Dining Breakfast Reservation before MK opens - get to the park before the hoards of people descend - have the characters sign an autograph book - then get a list of "must do" rides - tackle them at rope drop - from Buzz, to Indy Speedway, or Splash Mt, Big Thunder Mt.

AK - its a huge park - and can be overwhelming - everyone does EE or Safari and they are at opposite ends of the park - so you may want a strategy to enjoy this park! Do your kids like the DL Indy ride? Dinosaur is based on that and yet I've read its different -

maybe go to mouseforless.com and copy some journal pages for your kids -
http://www.mouseforless.com/downloads/kids/journal.shtml


or go to Barnes and Noble and buy the kids Birnbaum book so your kids can get excited about WDW??
http://www.amazon.com/Birnbaums-Walt-Disney-World-Kids/dp/1423103874

 

[Pomlover2586]

First off Yes your husband sounds like a major tool.......and not the good kind. I know it's going to be a downer to be around him in WDW [a place that's supposed to be fun]

I would recommend trying to block him out on the trip and focus on your kids. Spoil them rotten [where affordable], watch their eyes light up at the magic, and cherish the trip with them. Obviously you can't ignore DH fully, but I would simply be polite and try to tune out any negativity that comes from him.

Again I hope things work out.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

Your DH sounds like a little bit of a jerk. I don't know how you can have a good time with him continually shoving WDW down your mother's throat. He seems to have an axe to grind, and it sounds like she may incite him a bit. Do they enjoy this back and forth banter? Maybe you can try to enjoy yourself if you feel they enjoy challenging each other.

Other than that...I don't know what to say. Refuse to go? Go with mom and the kids and tell him to stay home? You said you are getting help (I assume counseling), what does your counselor say?

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Tink888]

Sorry that your DH is being such a jerk.

I can understand how it'd be hard to get enthused about a park that isn't your first love, especially when DH keeps acting the way he does. Maybe just try and focus on the kids and the things that WDW has that aren't at DL and enjoy those.

If it were me I'd probably lie to DH to pacify and tell him "yep, you're so right honey WDW is the BEST". Even though you don't believe it yourself, sometimes with people like that, once they "hear" that they're right, it shuts them up for awhile. KWIM?

Can you schedule some alone time during your trip? Or maybe split up for awhile. You'd get a break from hubby's mouth and you could experience WDW on your own (maybe find a little magic there that just yours).

If all else fails, while at Epcot you may find the margarita's in Mexico and the Grey Goose Slushie's in France to be very helpful. (Just don't overdo it). (not making fun of your dilema, just trying to cheer you up).

 

[drag n' fly]

Leave the moron at home and take the kids to what ever Disney park you want to go to and take Mom along. Let him wallow in his own misery

 

[Kim1964]

I'm facing a similar issue on my upcoming trip with a member of my traveling party (not my DH). I've decided that my focus is going to be my kids and making sure they have fun. I can't do anything about the iffy member of our group, but I can stay upbeat and happy for the kids, and I can ignore his moods. I refuse to engage in any fighting, period. I've decided that when his mood turns I will ignore him and remove my kids and myself from his presence....we're not sharing a room and WDW transportation is pretty good if I end up having to use it.

I hope you can enjoy WDW for itself....nobody should try to make you feel like it's a replacement for DL, it's just a different place with different things to offer.

Good luck.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Thanks so much for the replies and letting me vent. I am going to respond to everyone because you have all been so nice. I do love WDW. I do love DLR. I think WDW is a great place and there is so much to do. I loved planning my last trip and I did love planning my current one until recently. I love DLR mainly because that was a place where I spend my childhood. I was born and raised in Calif and DLR will always hold a place in my heart because of that. It is just so hard to hear "it is better" or "that is worse". There are many things at WDW that are better than DLR and there are many things at DLR that are better that DLR. Why can't he just leave it at that?

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

First off Yes your husband sounds like a major tool.......and not the good kind. I know it's going to be a downer to be around him in WDW [a place that's supposed to be fun]

I would recommend trying to block him out on the trip and focus on your kids. Spoil them rotten [where affordable], watch their eyes light up at the magic, and cherish the trip with them. Obviously you can't ignore DH fully, but I would simply be polite and try to tune out any negativity that comes from him.

Again I hope things work out.

This trip I am doing what I want to do. I have been a SAHM for 6 years and I got a PT job and paid for the trip. We satyed at FW Cabins last time. This time we are staying at The Poly. He wanted me to switch to the cabins because he doesn't like people and wants to be secluded. I am not switching I love people and the hustle and bustle of activity. BTW we live in Montana...why would I want to go across the country so I can stay in a resort that is like where we live. I am also letting the kids pick the resturants. I think I am going to take the suggestions of some pp. This will be my trip with the kids and DH gets to tag along.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I'm facing a similar issue on my upcoming trip with a member of my traveling party (not my DH). I've decided that my focus is going to be my kids and making sure they have fun. I can't do anything about the iffy member of our group, but I can stay upbeat and happy for the kids, and I can ignore his moods. I refuse to engage in any fighting, period. I've decided that when his mood turns I will ignore him and remove my kids and myself from his presence....we're not sharing a room and WDW transportation is pretty good if I end up having to use it.

I hope you can enjoy WDW for itself....nobody should try to make you feel like it's a replacement for DL, it's just a different place with different things to offer.

Good luck.

The problem I am aving with DH is that he is not trying to make me feel like WDW is a replacement. He wants me and my mom (whom he hates) to be wrong. He wants us to know he is right. We must admit that WDW is better. He doesn't actually come out and say "admit it is better". He will just say WDW is better. California sucks.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Your DH sounds like a little bit of a jerk. I don't know how you can have a good time with him continually shoving WDW down your mother's throat. He seems to have an axe to grind, and it sounds like she may incite him a bit. Do they enjoy this back and forth banter? Maybe you can try to enjoy yourself if you feel they enjoy challenging each other.

Other than that...I don't know what to say. Refuse to go? Go with mom and the kids and tell him to stay home? You said you are getting help (I assume counseling), what does your counselor say?

Good luck whatever you decide.

You know I think you hit the nail on the head. My DH is walking through life with an ax to gring. He acts this way about many things. He always has a chip on his shoulder.

 

[Sandy321]

The Poly is going to be a FANTASTIC Trip -

can you maybe think ' different' not "better"? I know you wont be able to change dh - so I agree with a pp - smile and nod, yes dear - but in your heart, you get to decide, so smile, it'll be our secret!!

Its too bad he cant have fun and joke, and tease in a nice way - DH is the "smile and nod" person - adn then he and I can share the "joke".... its hard when your partner doesnt understand your feelings. so look thru the eyes of your kids!

When we stayed at the Poly - dd LOVED it so much she never wanted to leave! The best memory is standing in the Pool at the Poly watching the MK Fireworks, listening to Wishes piped in!! So grab a Lapu Lapu ( the rum drink that comes in a pineapple) and plan to spend hours at the pool!!

You'll make it the best, because you spent your hard earned money and you will so love the relaxing atmosphere of the Poly!!

 

[minniecarousel]

I am a Disneyland fan. I've gone to WDW a few times, but my heart belongs to Disneyland! That said, I'd let him have his "WDW is better". It's bigger, so that may make it "better". It looks like he's wanting you to say it's better. Either ignore him, or go ahead and agree, if it doesn't bother you to do so. Work around him and his issues.

Keep planning this trip FOR the kids.

Good luck.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I am a Disneyland fan. I've gone to WDW a few times, but my heart belongs to Disneyland! That said, I'd let him have his "WDW is better". It's bigger, so that may make it "better". It looks like he's wanting you to say it's better. Either ignore him, or go ahead and agree, if it doesn't bother you to do so. Work around him and his issues.

Keep planning this trip FOR the kids.

Good luck.

I couldn't care less which place he prefers. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But with him no one is entitled to their own opinion. If they do not agree with him he will not only disagree but he will put down whatever the opposition is and try to make that person feel like a loser. If they do agree with him he will still bash anything else. You see nothing can ever be different it has to be an all out war. Remember the old Saturday Night Live skit.."If it's not Scottish it's Crap"..that is what it is like in my house. "If I don't like it it's crap"...only it's not quite as funny if you are living it.