HELP!I'm pouring my heart out here, need advice!*Updated 6/12/07*

[dvcgirl]

TAKE A DEEP BREATH!

It's a message board. You are letting way to much get to you.

Now.. expecting folks on a message board to "stop" just because you want them to is very unrealistic. This is just a price you pay for posting personal information. Consider this a lesson learned!

And on another note has anyone noticed that the OP has disappared. Did we scare her off???[/QUOTE

Yeah, I noticed. And I noticed that this other poster who is all upset wants her posts removed. Well, like you said, if you're going to post that your DH has 30K in student loans that he shouldn't have to pay back....well, some of us pay our bills around here and find a statement like that irresponsible.

As for the OP, I at least hope that she's reading. There is a nice income there and I'm fairly certain that they can get out of the troulbe they are in....if they stop spending....and that means right now. But you know, this whole, "just one more trip" and the other poster's "life is too short" mentality is just a way into even deeper debt. With the new bankruptcy law and CC payments doubling, very soon there will no longer be a magical way out.

It's tough to have sympathy sometimes though. Yes, I know that people can sometimes get into CC debt. I know a lot of it is related to medical bills and there are lots of single mothers trying to get by on CC debt. But the kind of debt the OP is in is just silly and irresponsible debt. And traveling to WDW (and staying at the Beach Club no less) and planning another longer trip to Disney next year....and probably another after that. Well, it's irresponsible. A job loss, pay cut, or heaven's forbid, an illness and there goes the house.

 

[MrsPete]

It's called "you only live once" and this will be the only time we get to go do anything together and probably the last, so don't tell me what that "responisble" solution is, I didn't ask you and when you have never been on a vacation your whole life, I think you deserve ONE and if you don't think that's 'truly responsible' i never asked you.... I asked ONE question and you all turn it around on me...

Why is this your one and only shot at a vacation?

As for everyone "deserving" a vacation -- I think this is an idea that advertisers have planted in our heads. It's certainly not something that previous generations have believed. Notice how many times TV commercials use phrases like, "You deserve ___" or "You're meant to have ____" . . . It doesn't stand to reason. Why do I deserve anything? If I work for it, then I can buy it for myself, but aside from my basic rights guaranteed by the constitution, I don't think I have anything coming to me.

As for responsibility vs. "you only live once", they go hand in hand. Because you only live once, you also need to get yourself into good financial shape, save for retirement, etc. NOW. If you wait ten years until "you can afford it", you'll have lost all those years of magical compound-interest, and you'll have seriously jeopardized your chances of having comfortable golden years. In my opinion, this is also part of "you only live once". You need to make every paycheck count -- some money for fun, some money for investing in your future.

As another poster said, your anger is mis-directed. Winston Churchill made quite a few memorable statements, but my very favorite applies to this situation: "I didn't give them hell; I told them the truth and they thought it was hell."

A job loss, pay cut, or heaven's forbid, an illness and there goes the house.

Exactly. Every one of us, regardless of how secure we are, need to know that we have SOMETHING upon which to fall back. Just look at the people affected by Katrina and Rita lately! Any of us could experience a serious loss any time. Personally, I don't want to rely on luck, nor do I want to sit back and blame others. I want to know that my family will be prepared.

 

[lts862]

TAKE A DEEP BREATH!

It's a message board. You are letting way to much get to you.

Now.. expecting folks on a message board to "stop" just because you want them to is very unrealistic. This is just a price you pay for posting personal information. Consider this a lesson learned!

And on another note has anyone noticed that the OP has disappared. Did we scare her off???[/QUOTE

Yeah, I noticed. And I noticed that this other poster who is all upset wants her posts removed. Well, like you said, if you're going to post that your DH has 30K in student loans that he shouldn't have to pay back....well, some of us pay our bills around here and find a statement like that irresponsible.

As for the OP, I at least hope that she's reading. There is a nice income there and I'm fairly certain that they can get out of the troulbe they are in....if they stop spending....and that means right now. But you know, this whole, "just one more trip" and the other poster's "life is too short" mentality is just a way into even deeper debt. With the new bankruptcy law and CC payments doubling, very soon there will no longer be a magical way out.

It's tough to have sympathy sometimes though. Yes, I know that people can sometimes get into CC debt. I know a lot of it is related to medical bills and there are lots of single mothers trying to get by on CC debt. But the kind of debt the OP is in is just silly and irresponsible debt. And traveling to WDW (and staying at the Beach Club no less) and planning another longer trip to Disney next year....and probably another after that. Well, it's irresponsible. A job loss, pay cut, or heaven's forbid, an illness and there goes the house.

Ya know, I agree with this. My DH and I worked to get our debt under control (his student loans and some CC debt). We cut corners and did without the fancy extras that we were be coming accustomed to and took responsibility for what had been done...what WE had done. We took NO expensive vacations, ate out less, etc. When I read that the OP was planning a trip to BC and then a longer WDW/Disney cruise trip it made me crazy. Very hard to be sympathetic. Someone told me once that "if you make a mistake, let it be a NEW mistake". That is my advice to the original poster!

 

[dvcgirl]

Ya know, I agree with this. My DH and I worked to get our debt under control (his student loans and some CC debt). We cut corners and did without the fancy extras that we were be coming accustomed to and took responsibility for what had been done...what WE had done. We took NO expensive vacations, ate out less, etc. When I read that the OP was planning a trip to BC and then a longer WDW/Disney cruise trip it made me crazy. Very hard to be sympathetic. Someone told me once that "if you make a mistake, let it be a NEW mistake". That is my advice to the original poster!

When I first read the OP's original post I thought back to an Oprah that I saw years ago. Some here may remember it. And actually, I think that this woman on Oprah was way more clueless than the OP here. This woman on Oprah was a huge emotional spender. Young couple with a small daughter, nice new starter home in a new neihborhood. The DH was ivy-league educated.....he made 100K a year. I'm going to say this show aired around 4 years ago maybe. Anyway, they were drowning in CC debt and this woman kept saying again and again..."but how can we go bankrupt, he makes 100,000 a year." The DH was very upset because he clearly couldn't get through to her, loved her, loved his kid...but boy were they headed for trouble. Oprah had a financial guru on her program to talk sense into her....and Oprah herself was shaking her head. Of course you can go bankrupt making 100K a year....or much more than that.

And yes, the Beach Club thing baffles me, as does the cruise because well, we were just faced with a similar choice. My DH and I decided that we wanted to get away for a quick vacation in January when both of our jobs slow down a bit. We decided on a 4 day cruise out of Port Canaveral. We live in Orlando, so it's just so easy to drive over there and hop on a cruise ship. And so, of course, being Disney fans we thought about cruising with Disney. Until I called for pricing....ha! DCL is *very* expensive. We've cruised with Celebrity, Royal Carribbean and Holland America. There isn't a whole heck of a lot of difference between any of them. The food is only marginally better on Celebrity than HA, or service on HA vs RC....you get my point. Plus, we opt for more casual fare on cruises because we don't enjoy the long drawn-out dinners with so-so food.. And so we priced the same exact cruise on Royal Carribbeans recently rehabbed Soverign of the Seas....and the price is literally $1,100 cheaper!

Trust me when I tell you that we can *afford* to spend the extra $1,100 and go on DCL vs. RC. Our income is much higher than the OP, our expenses are far lower and we have liteally no debt....but why on earth would we do that? We'll have the same experience for $800 on RC vs $1,900 on DCL. I just want to point out that just because you begin to make a little more money in life...well, it certainly doesn't mean that you need to part with it.

In the case of the OP, we're talking about luxurious vacations. I know that there's not a sign on the front of the Beach Club saying how much you need to make in order to stay there. You need to realize these things for yourself and for your family and know that you simply can't afford them. And even if a portion of your vacation is paid for by others, or you paid in advance, going to Walt Disney World is a very expensive propostion.

 

[YachtClubWoman]

I can't figure out how to post a quote>

But this quote from DVC Girl : "I just want to point out that just because you begin to make a little more money in life...well, it certainly doesn't mean that you need to part with it."

I could not have said it better myself!

Good luck to the OP. My husband and I were 50 K in debt - pd it all off in 4 yrs with no marks on our credit report. We have never been in better finanical shape. We are still cutting spending since the next plan is to have the mortgage paid off in 5 yrs. My husband will be 51 and I will be 41 - talk about freedom!

 

[solgent]

I can't figure out how to post a quote

Instead of clicking on the Post Reply button, click on the Quote button in the lower right corner of the message you want to quote.

 

[dvcgirl]

Why is this your one and only shot at a vacation?

As for everyone "deserving" a vacation -- I think this is an idea that advertisers have planted in our heads. It's certainly not something that previous generations have believed. Notice how many times TV commercials use phrases like, "You deserve ___" or "You're meant to have ____" . . . It doesn't stand to reason. Why do I deserve anything? If I work for it, then I can buy it for myself, but aside from my basic rights guaranteed by the constitution, I don't think I have anything coming to me.

As for responsibility vs. "you only live once", they go hand in hand. Because you only live once, you also need to get yourself into good financial shape, save for retirement, etc. NOW. If you wait ten years until "you can afford it", you'll have lost all those years of magical compound-interest, and you'll have seriously jeopardized your chances of having comfortable golden years. In my opinion, this is also part of "you only live once". You need to make every paycheck count -- some money for fun, some money for investing in your future.

As another poster said, your anger is mis-directed. Winston Churchill made quite a few memorable statements, but my very favorite applies to this situation: "I didn't give them hell; I told them the truth and they thought it was hell."

Exactly. Every one of us, regardless of how secure we are, need to know that we have SOMETHING upon which to fall back. Just look at the people affected by Katrina and Rita lately! Any of us could experience a serious loss any time. Personally, I don't want to rely on luck, nor do I want to sit back and blame others. I want to know that my family will be prepared.

Mrs Pete, you couldn't be more correct with respect to everyone "deserving" things. I think back to when I was a child and when my DH was a child. We're 37 and 36 respectively. While neither of us grew up truly poor, both of our families struggled at one time or another with money. Both of our fathers had solid jobs and worked for 30+ years for companies that provided great pensions (none of our parents could afford to go to college). Both of our Moms were secretaries. And so, our parents made pretty good double incomes for non-professionals. In today's dollars they probably started out in the 30,000 range when we were very young and worked their way up to around 90K or so by the time we graduated from high school. Both home owners. His family had two kids, our family had three.

Do you know how many times we went to WDW when I was a kid? Once. One time. And we drove there. My DH? One time. Again, they drove from NJ. We went to the beach. We went on little overnight trips in the summer. Do you how many times we used to eat out at a nice restaurant. Once a year...on Mother's Day. McDonalds was a big treat. Same with my DH, although his DB was much older and so by the time he was a teen his brother had moved out and there was a little more disposable income there.

My point is...the difference between today and when I was a kid. Credit Cards...plain and simple. When I was a kid and my parents were making say...60K combined in today's dollars, guess where we stayed when we visited WDW? At a little hotel on Rt 192 for next to nothing a night. The Poly? No way. The Contemp...I think not. We had no business staying there because we couldn't afford it. And I'll bet you that a fairly decent percentage of the people staying in those same caliber hotels today can't afford it. How do they do it? Credit cards.

My parents were too busy saving for retirement and college for us to take expensive trips anyway. They put three of us through college...giving us all that they could...we took loans and got scholarships for the rest. My DH's parents had extra income and so they paid his way in total. My sisters and their SOs and myself and my DH are all successful, beyond our dreams successful.

I really think that people should have to take a basic financial course and pass an exam before they can qualify for one credit card. This blatant abuse of credit cards and then the "gee, I don't know how we got here" attitude just kills me. Nobody is entitled to a big house, lots of expensive stuff in the big house, fancy cars and luxurious vacations. You're only entitled to that if you can afford to pay for it...in cash.

 

[kmp1191]

Read TMM again.....and again!!
Quickie recap - Mortgage, 2 car pmts, $30k in medical & cc....making minimum pmts on everything....then I lost my job. Was 3 weeks away from foreclosure. Filed bankruptcy on medical and 1 vehicle, reaffimed mortgage and 2nd vehicle. Got another job and my husband and I rearranged our full time work schedules and talked to our bosses so we could do away with before & after school care. (saved $750 a month)
Then I took on a part-time weekend job and put that money directly to the credit cards. Had them paid off in 1 year (approx $5000)
I continue to work the part-time job and now, after 2 more years of saving, we are taking our very first family vacation!! My husband and I have been married 14 years and we have a 9 yr old and a 6 yr old.....and yes, they understand why mommy sometimes has to work on the weekends....
SO WE CAN GO TO DISNEY WORLD IN 5 DAYS!!!

Nothing good ever comes easy.

 

[MAGICX2]

I'm back. I wasn't hiding out, just under the weather the past few days. Let me just start by saying that I TRUELY appreciate all the advice I have been given in the previous posts, harsh or helpful. The helpful posts are just that. They give me ideas and inspiration on things to do and to get myself under control. The harsh posts are ok too. They make me take a real close look at all the REALLY stupid things I have done to put myself(ourselves) into this situation. There are a couple of things I wanted to touch on.
The land. I drive by it everyday. It is 1/4 mile from my current house and I pass it coming and going. It has been hard, but I have decided that unless for some reason it should go for a low amount we are going to pass it up. It won't go low, it's a prime piece of property, just beautiful. But that is how I have had to make the decision in my mind. It gives me no choice but to pass it up unless it goes low. If we were to happen to get it we were (and are) going to let it sit until our current debt is 0 and then look into building.
My current house is by no means keeping up with the Joneses nice. It is about 1500 sq.ft. And your right, we have too much stuff for our house. We have no basement, so no storage. I am not having any more children so no reason we can't make it work for us right now. We have decided to stay where we are for now.
The cc's. I have frozen them ALL! I feel great about this! It has somehow gotten rid of some stress for me. If I don't have them I can't use them. Since starting this thread I have also not used my debit/ATM card. I haven't been able to stop at Tim Horton's or go to McDonald's and you know what,my kids are eating what I cook for a change! They have been told we will only eat out when Daddy is home and then it will be only once. They seem ok with this.
My DH is not some corporate big wig. He is an aggregate surveyor, which requires travel all over the US. I am a mammographer. No dry cleaning, no country clubs, no corporate dinners. Just work boots 2x a year for DH and scrubs for me.
Daycare. I have asked my mother to keep the kids on one of her days off from her fulltime job as a sergeant at our local Police Dept. and have asked my MIL to keep them one other day. So, my mom on Mon., MIL on Fri., and preschool on Tues, Wed, Thurs. This will cut our cost from $880 to $612 a month. Not a lot, but a start.
Debt counseling. It just so happens that I was talking with a coworker on Tues. after the OP and her husband is a trained "Crown Financial" consultant. It is a Christian debt counseling organization that trains others how to counsel their congregation. He has agreed to sit down with DH and I and help us get started and show us how to use Quicken to budget easier.
I am a recreational shopper! When DH is gone I take the kids and we shop. My DS asks what store are we going to when we get in the car on the weekends. This has made me realize not only am I jeporadizing my financial future, but what am I teaching him?! I have explained to DS that we will be taking weekly trips to the library on Sat. instead of Kohls/Walmart.
As for my Disney trips, I know that old adage "Just one last trip." But this won't be my last trip. We love Disney and we will continue to go, once every year or two. I will not be canceling any trips, they are paid for (with cash) and the money I get back would not put a dent in what I have to pay. My DH and I are both in agreeance with this. As for the money we spend while there, we have a budget for that too. I won't try to justify it, there isn't any justification needed for it. Just know that because I am going DOES NOT mean I am not cold stone serious about getting rid of my debt. *And because I am staying at BC does not mean I paid BC price. You Dis’ers should know there is always a deal to be had. And I am not going on a cruise. My husband and I did have one booked. We were to have left this past Mon. We canceled it because we knew we didn't have the money.
I am going to lay out my budget for you. Critique Away!
Mortagage $1401.00 (inc. pmi, ins., and taxes)
Electric $115.00 (avg.-calling about budget)
Water $ 25.00
Trash $ 22.50
Phone/Internet $ 80.00
Cell Phone $ 45.00
Cable $ 49.50
Car Ins. $ 70.00
Car Loan $327.33
Gas $200.00
Pre-School $880.00 (soon to be reduced)
DH Student Loan $165.00
My Student Loan $ 50.00
CC #1 $165.00 (min.—usually pay 175.00)
CC #2 $210.00 (min.---usually pay 225.00)
CC #3 $145.00 (min.---usually pay 175.00)
CC #4 $ 65.00 (min.---usually pay 100.00)
CC #5 $ 35.00 (min.---usually pay 50.00)
CC #6 $ 27.00 (min.---usually pay 50.00)
Sig. Loan $230.00 (automatically taken out of checking)
Groceries $300.00 (avg.)
“Blow Money” $100.00 (for whole family for the month)

GRAND TOTAL= $4707.33

Take home pay from both of us= $4820 (avg. DH set salary, mine is hourly)

Keep it coming. I may not be able to post again until Sat. after the property auction. It is at 10am. You are all a great help and inspiration.

 

[Cindi0511]

Good to see you back -- I must have been writing earlier when you posted!

Take that extra $100 difference between take home and the budget and put it on the balance of the credit card with the highest interest rate. Do it until it's completely paid off and then tackle the next one. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Thanks so much for trying. It really does affect everyone else.

 

[DiznEeyore]

Magic, it sounds like you've put yourself on the right path!! I've been following this thread and you're right, a lot of what's been said has been harsh (the usual suspects ) but it's great that you've been able to garner helpful info from each one.

I also don't think you should have to justify your family trip. There is nothing wrong with seriously working on your debt and still continuing to live your life. We are also taking a trip (5 nights -- driving down) at the end of this month, even though my dh is technically underemployed. We've had the cash saved up for a year (cancelled a trip earlier this year when finances were more uncertain) and since our accommodations are paid for (DVC), we already had passes purchased, and we have enough $$ in Disney Rewards to pay for all of our food, we're going! My poor dh has been working 7 days a week and he begged me for this trip. No WAY am I turning him down. He's more excited than ds and I are! And we, too, will be on a set budget while we're there. As you said, the small amount of money spent won't be enough to make a difference in our budget.

We're proof that you can work on your debt/savings even in difficult situations, and continue to live your life. God has blessed us with work to keep us afloat, and we actually have more in the bank than we ever had, even when we were both working full-time. You just have to set your priorities, and not waver.

Good luck with your journey; I hope you'll keep us posted!

 

[tlbwriter]

I'd take all of those credit cards and either consolidate them into one 0% card (if you can get it), or do a "snowball" to pay them off one at a time. And I'd take the money you're saving from daycare and roll it into that snowball.

 

[CarolA]

I would quit paying $10 extra on a bunch of cards. Pay the minimum on five cards and ALL the extra on one card. That way you will actually SEE a difference which will motivate you. Figure out what would motivate you. For me it would be paying one off so I would pick the small balance and apply all extra funds towards that. At $10 to $15 a card you are going to feel like you are never going to get anywhere!

 

[MrsPete]

My point is...the difference between today and when I was a kid. Credit Cards...plain and simple..

You're exactly right. I think credit cards are the #1 thing that gets people into financial trouble today. And some people are upset because some cards (soon all cards) are starting to require 4% of the total balance instead of 2%. If you can't pay 4% of what you owe on a credit card, you're seriously over your reasonable limit!

The other big problem today is people buying "more house" and "more car" than they can afford. I know people who could comfortably afford a nice little nothing-fancy 3-bedroom house, but instead they live in a McMansion and wonder why they're living paycheck to paycheck! It's the same thought process as the credit card problem.

 

[MrsPete]

Read TMM again.....and again!!
Quickie recap - Mortgage, 2 car pmts, $30k in medical & cc....making minimum pmts on everything....then I lost my job. Was 3 weeks away from foreclosure . . . Nothing good ever comes easy.

They say that the average American family is two paychecks away from the streets -- it sounds like that's where you WERE -- living too close to the edge with no financial cushion.

I'm glad to see that you realized the problem and have fixed it. Everyone makes mistakes; the measure of a person is whether we keep on making the same ones over and over again. Congrats to you!

 

[dvcgirl]

I'm back. I wasn't hiding out, just under the weather the past few days. Let me just start by saying that I TRUELY appreciate all the advice I have been given in the previous posts, harsh or helpful. The helpful posts are just that. They give me ideas and inspiration on things to do and to get myself under control. The harsh posts are ok too. They make me take a real close look at all the REALLY stupid things I have done to put myself(ourselves) into this situation. There are a couple of things I wanted to touch on.
The land. I drive by it everyday. It is 1/4 mile from my current house and I pass it coming and going. It has been hard, but I have decided that unless for some reason it should go for a low amount we are going to pass it up. It won't go low, it's a prime piece of property, just beautiful. But that is how I have had to make the decision in my mind. It gives me no choice but to pass it up unless it goes low. If we were to happen to get it we were (and are) going to let it sit until our current debt is 0 and then look into building.
My current house is by no means keeping up with the Joneses nice. It is about 1500 sq.ft. And your right, we have too much stuff for our house. We have no basement, so no storage. I am not having any more children so no reason we can't make it work for us right now. We have decided to stay where we are for now.
The cc's. I have frozen them ALL! I feel great about this! It has somehow gotten rid of some stress for me. If I don't have them I can't use them. Since starting this thread I have also not used my debit/ATM card. I haven't been able to stop at Tim Horton's or go to McDonald's and you know what,my kids are eating what I cook for a change! They have been told we will only eat out when Daddy is home and then it will be only once. They seem ok with this.
My DH is not some corporate big wig. He is an aggregate surveyor, which requires travel all over the US. I am a mammographer. No dry cleaning, no country clubs, no corporate dinners. Just work boots 2x a year for DH and scrubs for me.
Daycare. I have asked my mother to keep the kids on one of her days off from her fulltime job as a sergeant at our local Police Dept. and have asked my MIL to keep them one other day. So, my mom on Mon., MIL on Fri., and preschool on Tues, Wed, Thurs. This will cut our cost from $880 to $612 a month. Not a lot, but a start.
Debt counseling. It just so happens that I was talking with a coworker on Tues. after the OP and her husband is a trained "Crown Financial" consultant. It is a Christian debt counseling organization that trains others how to counsel their congregation. He has agreed to sit down with DH and I and help us get started and show us how to use Quicken to budget easier.
I am a recreational shopper! When DH is gone I take the kids and we shop. My DS asks what store are we going to when we get in the car on the weekends. This has made me realize not only am I jeporadizing my financial future, but what am I teaching him?! I have explained to DS that we will be taking weekly trips to the library on Sat. instead of Kohls/Walmart.
As for my Disney trips, I know that old adage "Just one last trip." But this won't be my last trip. We love Disney and we will continue to go, once every year or two. I will not be canceling any trips, they are paid for (with cash) and the money I get back would not put a dent in what I have to pay. My DH and I are both in agreeance with this. As for the money we spend while there, we have a budget for that too. I won't try to justify it, there isn't any justification needed for it. Just know that because I am going DOES NOT mean I am not cold stone serious about getting rid of my debt. *And because I am staying at BC does not mean I paid BC price. You Dis’ers should know there is always a deal to be had. And I am not going on a cruise. My husband and I did have one booked. We were to have left this past Mon. We canceled it because we knew we didn't have the money.
I am going to lay out my budget for you. Critique Away!
Mortagage $1401.00 (inc. pmi, ins., and taxes)
Electric $115.00 (avg.-calling about budget)
Water $ 25.00
Trash $ 22.50
Phone/Internet $ 80.00
Cell Phone $ 45.00
Cable $ 49.50
Car Ins. $ 70.00
Car Loan $327.33
Gas $200.00
Pre-School $880.00 (soon to be reduced)
DH Student Loan $165.00
My Student Loan $ 50.00
CC #1 $165.00 (min.—usually pay 175.00)
CC #2 $210.00 (min.---usually pay 225.00)
CC #3 $145.00 (min.---usually pay 175.00)
CC #4 $ 65.00 (min.---usually pay 100.00)
CC #5 $ 35.00 (min.---usually pay 50.00)
CC #6 $ 27.00 (min.---usually pay 50.00)
Sig. Loan $230.00 (automatically taken out of checking)
Groceries $300.00 (avg.)
“Blow Money” $100.00 (for whole family for the month)

GRAND TOTAL= $4707.33

Take home pay from both of us= $4820 (avg. DH set salary, mine is hourly)

Keep it coming. I may not be able to post again until Sat. after the property auction. It is at 10am. You are all a great help and inspiration.

Magicx2,

First of all...I know that I'm one of the harsh ones around here. And I apologize if I come across that way, but unnecessary CC debt is a hot button issue for me. I have extended family members and friends who have filed for bankruptcy unnecessarily, and a few made more than you and your DH do. I definitely see a light at the end of the tunnel for you....why? Because you are young, and hopefully you're beginning to see the light. Secondly, you are both educated and have nice jobs. So, your income is going to increase, and all of that good stuff.

First, I want to ask one thing. You're paying around $775 a month to all of your CC accounts, roughly $100 over the minimum combined. Have you noticed a big jump in your CC minimums lately? If not, you're in for an unexpected nasty surprise. Many CC companies are about to double their minimum payment amounts from 2% to 4%, and so it's not out of the realm of financial reality here for you to see your CC payments go from $675 a month to $1350 a month. That's a big jump and if you can't handle it you need to get on the phone with your CC companies ASAP to try and negotiate a regular payment amount that is slightly less than that. Hopefully they'll work with you.

For the life of me I don't know how so many families around here feed a family of four (even with little ones) on $300 a month. Are you sure that number is correct?

You say your electric bill is $150 a month. Do you have gas or electric heat? Regardless, all home heating bills are going to increase this year to some degree. I'd increase that number.

You said that your gross income is 102k a year and yet you're only bringing home $57,660? Are you putting some away for retirement (hopefully), or do you get a big fat check from the IRS each year (which you in turn use to vacation)? Your budget has literally zero room for error. You have $100 left each month, and I think some of your numbers sound low to begin with. How are you going to buy clothes for your kids? Birthday gifts, christmas presents. Oil changes, hair cuts, doctor co-pay, clothes for you and DH? You are someone who has over $30,000 in revolving debt and you get by on $100 a month in discretionary spending? I think that you're being overly optimistic.

I agree with others who have said that you definitely can't afford to move, now that I see what you've written here....I know that you can't. You are hanging by a thread with the 1,500 sq foot house. If you are getting a lot of the excess income back in the form of an IRS return, I'd rearrange your deductions so that you'll be closer to breaking even each year. Begin to work on an emergency cash fund of at least $1,000. And I know you don't want to hear it, but you really and truly can't afford to vacation at Disney World until you get rid of the CC debt and that signature loan. No way, no how.

Once you get rid of that debt, and only then can you truly afford to take the kinds of vacations that you are taking. I think it's great that you've posted your numbers. I think it's great to have an anonymous board like this where you'll hear the real truth (even if it sounds harsh). I think many people in your situation just sort of trudge along like this thinking "hey, we're making great money, if everyone else can afford this stuff...so can we." But you can't. Really and truly you can't. I read your numbers and shuddered. There's no room for a misstep. Not even an inch. If you're lucky, you'll pay down all of that debt and get serious about retirement and college savings for your kids in the next 5 years or so. But you've got quite a hole to dig out of, and it will take a total life change for quite a few years in order to turn things around. Good luck to you!

 

[DiznEeyore]

The other big problem today is people buying "more house" and "more car" than they can afford. I know people who could comfortably afford a nice little nothing-fancy 3-bedroom house, but instead they live in a McMansion and wonder why they're living paycheck to paycheck! It's the same thought process as the credit card problem.

So true! My best friend lived in a nice 3bdrm home in a nice, working-class neighborhood and when she had her second child, she demanded that they move to a bigger house ... their old one just wasn't "big enough" for the 4 of them. They now live in a two-story colonial that really isn't all that much bigger (they basically got *slightly* larger bedrooms and an additional family room) but is in a "fancier" neighborhood with a larger lot. They also put *nothing* down on the house. Their mortgage payment is almost $2K/month!!! Her dh gets paid 2x per month, and his entire 2nd paycheck goes to the house payment. And if he doesn't get his shift premium or OT, they're *short*. (She also works full-time -- they're on separate shifts, so no childcare costs.)

She wonders why she's having stomach problems and now has to take anti-anxiety meds. It all comes from being financially strapped by being in a too-expensive house, and it makes me so sad for them. But boy, they sure live in a better neighborhood than *I* do, as I'm frequently reminded!

Really, our neighborhood is just fine. We like our neighbors, and are only a couple of miles from my brother and sil and my parents. We considered selling two years ago, but when we looked around, we couldn't bring ourselves to add $50K to our mortgage just to get an additional bedroom and basement. So we added on to our little 900 sq. foot house, and now dh and I have a gorgeous master suite and our house value has gone way up! And nope, we didn't spend anywhere close to $50K to do it!! It's still a small house in a very working-class neighborhood, but we've decided it will do 'til we get ds through his school years. Our small mortgage will give us more freedom in later years than if we "move up" like my best friend.

 

[kmp1191]

They say that the average American family is two paychecks away from the streets -- it sounds like that's where you WERE -- living too close to the edge with no financial cushion.

I'm glad to see that you realized the problem and have fixed it. Everyone makes mistakes; the measure of a person is whether we keep on making the same ones over and over again. Congrats to you!

Thanks....it's been a long, winding road, and one I will never have to go down again.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me....

 

[MrsPete]

I am a recreational shopper! When DH is gone I take the kids and we shop. My DS asks what store are we going to when we get in the car on the weekends. This has made me realize not only am I jeporadizing my financial future, but what am I teaching him?! I have explained to DS that we will be taking weekly trips to the library on Sat. instead of Kohls/Walmart.

I think realizing this is very valuable, and you're exactly right about teaching your children to be careful with money from a young age. I'd suggest that you search out a variety of FREE places to take the kids so that you can vary your weekly trips. The library is great. In good weather, there's the park and free morning movies. Maybe skating would be a good hobby to take up with him (skates would be a good Christmas present); you can skate free in the park, or it's only $2 to get into our local rink. I'm glad to see that you're looking for something to fill the time that shopping now takes.

Mortagage $1401.00 (inc. pmi, ins., and taxes)
Phone/Internet $ 80.00
Cell Phone $ 45.00
Cable $ 49.50

You probably know this, but when you own 20% of your house, you can have PMI removed from your bill. You can do this by actually paying 20% of the original cost, or by having the house re-assessed (assuming it'd be priced higher than you paid), which would mean you have more "instant equity".

Could you do without the landline phone and pay only the cell?
How about cutting out the cable? I know some people who cut it out every summer when there's more to do outside, then they have it re-installed in the fall (there's always a free installation program going on).

When you're at the library, I strongly suggest that you check out The Complete Tightwad Gazette by Amy D-something. It's jam-packed with loads of money-saving ideas, some big, some small, some nutso, some brilliant.

You may have a long road ahead of you, but you've taken the first steps -- that's the hardest part. I have one more suggestion: Make yourself some sort of chart on which to record your progress. I suggest that you put it in your wallet near your credit cards. Then every time you reach for your wallet, you'll SEE how you're progressing towards you goals. It might help with emotional /impulse purchases.

 

[pearlieq]

To the OP--good for you!!! You're well on your way to a much better financial picture!

Keep us posted on your progress!!!