Help! I accidentally insulted someone and I can't let it go!!

[CaliBear]

Definitely been there. I've obsessed about comments I've made that weren't well thought out and maybe hurt a friend or coworker. It helps to remember that they aren't obsessing about you. They have their own life and probably aren't giving it much thought. If you did hurt him, bringing it up again just reopens a wound that has likely already closed. Just try to re-cultivate the friendly relationship in a natural way and you will get over it in time.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I totally agree with yours and leebee's advice, but the problem is, my comment slipped out without me even thinking about it! If I had thought about it at all I definitely wouldn't have said it. In fact, it wasn't until later, as I was driving home, that I realized what an absolute jerky comment it was! And ever since then I have felt terrible. I agree that I should be more careful, but in this case my mouth worked way faster than my brain, unfortunately. The only "good" thing is that it was only a conversation between the two of us, so I didn't embarrass him in front of a whole group of people.

Thanks to everyone who has responded. I feel a little better, but I know when I see him at work tomorrow that I'm going to feel bad all over again. I'm going to try harder to keep my mouth shut from now on, that's for sure.

Stopping rumination is very doable but you have to work at it. I recommend looking up ways to deal with rumination specifically and trying out a few techniques until you find one that fits your style.

I can also have this problem.

I am a play it out kind of person. I acknowledge I messed up. Then acknowledge I apologized. Then I have to give myself the freedom to move on from this.

My current mantra is "Don't Look Back, You Are Not Going That Way".

Not easy when it is "fresh" however find a technique that works for you and use it.