Help feed my picky child...

[mjkacmom]

I can't imagine anyone from my grandmother's generation even discussing such rubbish. You ate what you had or you starved. You didn't whine and bellyache and threaten to vomit if you tasted some pulp.

My grandmother made my mom and her sister eat everything on their plates - and boy were they FAT! LOL! My mom then took it to the other extreme, and we grew up on Tab and salads - and my sister and I were chubby, because when we had a chance to eat some junk, we ate junk. We have a happy medium here, and my kids are lean and healthy. And I've never made them eat something that they didn't think tasted good.

 

[stinkerbelle7531]

Good for you for finding ways to feed your family well, and deal with a picky eater. I do not think that you are the norm. Funny about the sushi. I still believe that the majority of children have been trained to be picky. Not children who are physcically ill, but the ones who started eating chicken nuggets at McDonald's playlands when they were a year old.

As I said, this didn't exist during generations when food was considered a luxury. Abundance has caused the eating issues in the fat coutnries of the world.

 

[Christine]

Good for you for finding ways to feed your family well, and deal with a picky eater. I do not think that you are the norm. Funny about the sushi. I still believe that the majority of children have been trained to be picky. Not children who are physcically ill, but the ones who started eating chicken nuggets at McDonald's playlands when they were a year old.

As I said, this didn't exist during generations when food was considered a luxury. Abundance has caused the eating issues in the fat coutnries of the world.

I'm going to agree with this. I have two children who, at ages 14 and 17, have become severely picky in the last few years. They were much better when they were younger. I blame myself for it all because over the years we've relied much too much on fast food or restaurant food. Not so much for my son, but for my DD who is never home anymore and rarely eats a home cooked meal. Now when she does eat something at home she absolutely hates it. Not enough flavor or pizazz for her. I truly have seen that eating out too much, even if it's the happy meals--well, it totally destroys the child's desire for normal food.

I do believe, though, that there are some people that just have real aversions to food for whatever reason. My cousin (we are both in our 40s) was like that as a child--wouldn't eat anything with eggs, mustard, milk, mayo, cheese, onions, etc. The list goes on. But she did have some things that she did like (beets, go figure) that were healthy. I think it's odd to be picky against everything but pizza, chicken nuggets, etc. That tells me that the child just acquired a taste for high sodium, full fat foods and normal foods can't compare.

 

[stinkerbelle7531]

Thank you. Said with more tact than I appear to have this morning.

 

[4greatboys]

I have been a picky eater for 21 years. And guess what. I'm a healthy, average weight 21 year old. Who eats no vegetables, generally nothing smothered in a sauce (such as chicken francaise), nothing that comes from the sea, nothing spicy, currently no meat, drinks no milk and i'm sure many other things im forgetting.

Some people just do not like certain foods. According to my mother, I would even spit out and throw up the same baby foods I hate now. What on earth is the point of forcing food down a child's throat that they despise and will end up throwing up over?

Flame all you want, but I don't buy into the "if they are hungry enough, they will eat". If someone put fish down in front of me for a week, and that was my only choice, I wouldn't eat. The smell of fish alone makes me nauseous.

Now my brother on the other hand will eat anything you put in front of him. We were raised by the same exact parents, with the same exact rules. His palate is just different than mine. Some kids are born picky, and some aren't.

I agree completely with your posts. I hate any kind of seafood as a kid and now and no way would I ever have eaten it.

 

[2girlsmom]

I am sorry if you have to bribe a child to drink some OJ (ours is freshly squeezed, and full of vitamin C) by adding ice cream, there is an issue. I agree, though that store bought is just glorified sugar water, too.

And, no, after you've trained them to only eat soft textured, bland crap, teaching them to enjoy other foods won't happen until they grow old enough to figure out you screwed them up, and they lost out because of it.

I haven't trained mine to only eat specific foods, and we do require that she try new things as well as try things once every 6 months or so that she may not have liked before. This did open up sweet potatoes, which she loves, but on most foods, she really does know what she likes and what she doesn't. And her DOCTOR says not to let her go hungry, and suggested the Carnation Instant Breakfast drink, though we don't add ice cream to it (sounds like a good "treat" though), mostly she likes it with milk and warmed, so like hot chocolate or hot "vanilla", to bulk her calories. And while I would agree that "MOST" kids won't starve themselves, yes, there are some that will, and it is not healthy for kids to skip meals.

 

[HumanLegs]

I'm going to make a REAL effort this year to feed my picky DS. He's 9 going on 15. Normally I give in to him. His current diet consists of pizza, burgers, egg,s, pasta (no sauce) and pancakes. He does eat ANY fruit or yogurt. I should be happy for small things?
So... give me you best ideas/recipes for a PICKY eater. I'm looking for dinner ideas.

TIA!!

Well I've got a couple. You can make mini-pizzas at home. You just use whole wheat english muffins and it makes it a bit healthier. Also they make turkey pepperoni that has 1/2 the fat of regular. For his pancakes you can get sugar free jelly to put on them instead of syrup. It's actually delicious and DH loves it now too!

I make my own hamburger hashbrown stuff. Brown the hashbrowns, cook the burger, melt some cheese and milk together and throw them all in the same pan. Good and easy. I recommend looking at recipes.com they've got SO many different ideas.

One more thing: If you make burgers, use half turkey and half regular and it's alot healthier.

 

[2girlsmom]

I'm going to agree with this. I have two children who, at ages 14 and 17, have become severely picky in the last few years. They were much better when they were younger. I blame myself for it all because over the years we've relied much too much on fast food or restaurant food. Not so much for my son, but for my DD who is never home anymore and rarely eats a home cooked meal. Now when she does eat something at home she absolutely hates it. Not enough flavor or pizazz for her. I truly have seen that eating out too much, even if it's the happy meals--well, it totally destroys the child's desire for normal food.

I do believe, though, that there are some people that just have real aversions to food for whatever reason. My cousin (we are both in our 40s) was like that as a child--wouldn't eat anything with eggs, mustard, milk, mayo, cheese, onions, etc. The list goes on. But she did have some things that she did like (beets, go figure) that were healthy. I think it's odd to be picky against everything but pizza, chicken nuggets, etc. That tells me that the child just acquired a taste for high sodium, full fat foods and normal foods can't compare.

I agree, my daughter isn't "picky" that she only eats full fat high sodium foods, she doesn't like meat at all, though she will eat a few bites of baked chicken or occasionally red meats (once or twice a month is plenty for her). She does eat pasta, but not sauce, she likes potatoes and sweet potatoes, breads, peanut butter, apples, etc. I would mention that my grandmother's generation may have only made one meal, but those meals were generally much more basic and much less nutritious by our current standards than what we eat today. For example, in my grandparent's generation they ate "staple" foods, ie, meat and potatoes, generally potatoes were baked, mashed, or sliced and fried, they used real butter, cream, and ate many foods pan fried in butter, including veggies, so most of their diet was MUCH higher fats than what we eat now, and kids did not need to have anywhere NEAR as broad a palette as we expect them to now, either.

 

[JoBird]

To all of those who say they would "force " their child to eat.... There's something called Sensory Processing Disorder... it's on the Autism spectrum. It is a very real syndrome that Dr's are just now beginning to understand and deal with.
.
There's always, always more to the story than meets the eye.

Even with children.


http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

Signs Of Oral Input Dysfunction:



1. Hypersensitivity To Oral Input (Oral Defensiveness):



__ picky eater, often with extreme food preferences; i.e., limited repertoire of foods, picky about brands, resistive to trying new foods or restaurants, and may not eat at other people's houses)

__ may only eat "soft" or pureed foods past 24 months of age

__ may gag with textured foods

__ has difficulty with sucking, chewing, and swallowing; may choke or have a fear of choking

__ resists/refuses/extremely fearful of going to the dentist or having dental work done

__ may only eat hot or cold foods

__ refuses to lick envelopes, stamps, or stickers because of their taste

__ dislikes or complains about toothpaste and mouthwash

__ avoids seasoned, spicy, sweet, sour or salty foods; prefers bland foods


And if you are the parent of a "picky" child, please do not force them to eat, thinking that because you are the parent, they will eat when you say they will eat and they will eat what you say they will eat.

If you do, it's got a name, and that name is abuse.

Jo

 

[pperfectmom]

Oh please. I guess I abuse my kids ALL the time. Call social services ASAP! I make my kids try every thing I make every single time we have it. I don't force it down their throats, of course, but I do tell them they have to. If they say they hate it then they still have to try it again next time. Children's taste buds are still developing, so something they hate today may taste great next week. We also have a rule that they don't get seconds of anything unless they eat most of everything else first. I don't know if I am lucky that they aren't picky or if it has something to do with the way we have always eaten. As for the OP, I think that you can still turn things around. For a kid that age one of the best things to do is to get him involved with the grocery shopping, planning and preparing meals. My kids are younger but they love to help cook. Good luck. I think you are taking a positive step forward.

 

[mom2aredhead]

Signs Of Oral Input Dysfunction:



1. Hypersensitivity To Oral Input (Oral Defensiveness):



__ picky eater, often with extreme food preferences; i.e., limited repertoire of foods, picky about brands, resistive to trying new foods or restaurants, and may not eat at other people's houses)


__ may only eat "soft" or pureed foods past 24 months of age

__ may gag with textured foods

__ has difficulty with sucking, chewing, and swallowing; may choke or have a fear of choking

__ resists/refuses/extremely fearful of going to the dentist or having dental work done

__ may only eat hot or cold foods

__ refuses to lick envelopes, stamps, or stickers because of their taste

__ dislikes or complains about toothpaste and mouthwash

__ avoids seasoned, spicy, sweet, sour or salty foods; prefers bland foods

Jo

All of the red things are symptoms my son had or still has at age 5. It is ABSOLUTELY a real thing to deal with, and I have learned through the pediatrician and oral motor therapy that it will not be cured by "tough love" alone. Thanks for posting this.

 

[Bob NC]

Our kids were picky too. For a couple days until they found out they eat what we prepare or go hungry. Easy. Oh, they WILL eat.

 

[TheZue]

I'll come out and say right off the bat that my son has high functioning autism so he's a the extreme end of this, but his food issues are found in people throughout my family. Now that I've got a second baby I can really tell how picky he is because the new baby will eat ANYTHING you put in front of him...Adam was NEVER like that.

What we do is if I KNOW he likes a certain food; for example chicken nuggets I will make him eat that food in other forms. He clearly likes chicken so I will make him eat some regular old baked chicken if I make it or no bedtime snack.

Also if we make something that he won't find acceptable I make him an alternative...usually a grilled cheeze with some raw veggies. We tried the whole "don't make him anything, he'll get hungry enough that he'll eat" and it just doesn't always work. He would literally wait 24 hours for breakfast to come around, eat his slice of toast and be willing to wait again another 24 hours. He would have been horrendously malnurished had we kept that up more than a few days; not that it was working anyways because sometimes there would be stuff he liked then he was fully prepared to just not eat again.

We also have a grab bag full of dollar store junk for when he does a good thing. He does get a shot at the grab bag for trying new food. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he doesn't. Last thing he tried he chewed for half an hour (it was a meatball) before we finally asked "do you just want to go throw that in the toilet" But we have had some success with it too! We got sandwich meat on the 'good' list which has led to more non breaded meat

I was also fairly picky when I was a child. Some of the stuff I hated I found out later I was allergic too. Imagine my surprise when I was looking for an explanation to my hay fever and found out I am allergic to egg whites and wheat (whole wheat bread always bugged me and I remember getting yelled at for wasting the majority of the egg after eating the yolk). Also some of it was my parents were buying the really crappy cheap version of food and I ended up liking the good version as an adult like canned ham vs real ham or the gross bony tuna vs albacore...some of it was just my mom's cooking. But if they had really pushed it I doubt I EVER would have gone near those foods again.

There are several paths to having a well balanced diet, you need to help your child work with THEIR palate not yours to figure out what they like that is healthy.

 

[jodifla]

And I think raising a generation of overweight and/or malnourished children is a crime.

edited to add, if one is dealing with real allergies, and not the rash of "intolerances" it does make it more difficult, depending on the food to make a well rounded meal the whole fam. will enjoy.

I can't imagine anyone from my grandmother's generation even discussing such rubbish. You ate what you had or you starved. You didn't whine and bellyache and threaten to vomit if you tasted some pulp.

And lots of people have really horrible memories, bad relationships with their families and eating disorders because of the food wars their parents launched.

 

[JoBird]

Our kids were picky too. For a couple days until they found out they eat what we prepare or go hungry. Easy. Oh, they WILL eat.

I thought the same thing too, especially after *well meaning* people said to me "Let her go hungry, she'll soon eat anything."

When you are dealing with a child who has SENSORY issues, the child will go for weeks without eating. They see food as a real threat to them. They truly believe that if they ingest the food, they will die. It is not just a phase they will outgrow. If the parent has no clue about a sensory problem, they force them to eat. Then the issue becomes much larger than "making a separate meal." It becomes a psychological as well as a physical problem.

My child went for 4 days without eating. On the fifth day when she became listlesss, I realized I wasn't dealing with just a "picky" child.

It. Is. REAL.
I am living it with my child. And thank God she belongs to me, because some of the heartless things I have just read that some of you have said about forcing children to eat make me want to cry.

Unless you deal with it every day, you have not a clue.

Jo

 

[daisax]

I think it's safe to say that children with physical/mental health disorders are not "picky" but dealing with genuine issues that need special approaches.

Most other kids, however, can learn to eat around stuff they don't care for and taste one bite of something new. And it doesn't have to be any more dramatic than "this is what's for supper."

OJ and every other juice are empty sugar calories........

They are, pretty much -- a glass of orange juice is equal to several actual oranges, which is a lot of calories more than you'd take in if you just ate the oranges, with their fiber. The effect of orange juice on glucose levels is much higher than that of an actual orange -- you're getting a huge sugar rush and many more calories than you'd eat from the whole fruit.

That's not to say a small glass of orange juice isn't preferable to a soda, which is ENTIRELY empty calories, but the child would be better off with a glass of water and an actual orange.

 

[Christine]

I thought the same thing too, especially after *well meaning* people said to me "Let her go hungry, she'll soon eat anything."

When you are dealing with a child who has SENSORY issues, the child will go for weeks without eating. They see food as a real threat to them. They truly believe that if they ingest the food, they will die. It is not just a phase they will outgrow. If the parent has no clue about a sensory problem, they force them to eat. Then the issue becomes much larger than "making a separate meal." It becomes pshycological as well as a physical problem.

My child went for 4 days without eating. On the fifth day when she became listlesss, I realized I wasn't dealing with just a "picky" child.

It. Is. REAL.
I am living it with my child. And thank God she belongs to me, because some of the heartless things I have just read that some of you have said about forcing children to eat make me want to cry.

Unless you deal with it every day, you have not a clue.

Jo

I believe it is real and I think those children with sensory issues, especially to foods, are really easy to pick out and spot. Any person with intelligence can see it is not the same as the other legion of picky eaters that will only eat Kraft Macaroni, chicken McNuggets, and hot dogs. Generally, sensory issue kids have issues with those fabulous food also!

I'm not even saying this is all about what the OP posted as this thread has sort of gone on its own, but there are many kids out there, labeled picky by their parents, that really aren't at all but have been given convenience foods most of their lives or at the first "hint" of food resistance just because it's easier. I know because I've done it myself. I'm lucky in that my kids haven't gone nutty on me and have gotten indignant about what they'll eat, but they have gotten really spoiled by Chipotle, Arby's, Z-Pizza, etc. They hate my cooking!! I suppose if I didn't want to face the damage *I* have done, I might say "Oh they are picky" but, really, I'm angry with myself for letting them eat as much junk as they have in their teen years so that it's caused them to not appreciate a nice, self-prepared meal. My son is not so bad, but by daughter is horrible about it and back when she was under 5 years old, she pretty much would eat anything.

Oh, and regarding the pediatrician who prescribed Carnation with ice cream, well my doctor has done something similar. He is upset that my DD (17) won't eat breakfast (too lazy to cook for herself). He said that *any* food for breakfast--even junk--was preferable to not eating. You should have seen the look I gave him during that office visit! He told my DD--"Eat a Pop-Tart--eat ANYTHING--just eat." But, in no way did he thing that was the best choice.

 

[pperfectmom]

I'm not saying that there aren't real serious issues with some children. I do think that mostly we are talking about spoiled kids that want to get their way, however. Just because your child does have sensory issues or autism does not mean every other picky child in the world does. I am the proud aunt of 4 VERY picky children who are spoiled brats that treat their moms like short-order cooks. Sorry, but that is the truth and I totally blame their parents for it.

 

[TheZue]

Ya I totally agree that sensory issues vs just food preferences are a whole different thing, but the big thing is how are you supposed to know for sure? The sensory issues are a massive spectrum and reach far into the realm of neurologically normal people. And some things honestly do just taste bad to some people....think of whatever food you HATE, it's not like you would just get over that no matter how many times you were forced to eat it.

I think no matter what there does need to be some respect for the kids and try to find a way for them to eat healthy with foods they like. Even if they eat it and don't complain it doesn't mean they like it (I swear to God I will never eat riced potatoes or tuna casserole again), and at that point you aren't instilling any long term eating habits anyways.

Edit: I also posted despite the fact my son has autism more because we've found some things that work. So even if you ARE dealing with sensory issues you can still expand their food repetoire. I'm not saying 'give up and just give them whatever' but more work with them and what they like and find similar things. Don't go from nuggets to curry lol.

 

[pperfectmom]

For the record, our meal times are very pleasant and my kids do enjoy most everything I cook. I'm not trying to be their best friend. My job is to make sure they eat a healthy balanced diet along with learning to be open to new foods and new experiences. I'm pretty sure they are not going to be scarred when they grow up because I made them try a few bites of kale greens here and there.