Help Fearful 4 year old!!!

[karenbaco]

Anyone have good advice as to how i can get my 4 year old to experience Dinsey and not be scared. He is literally afraid of his own shadow these days and thats no exxageration. He is afraid of board games that make noises and take batteries even.(he wouldn't let me put the sticker eyes on the gofers in the Silly Golf game, he was afraid of the eyes). We booked our trip for December back in April and his fears have gotten progressively worse. Any tips on what i can do or say to get him to not be scared of things? Any advise is deeply appreciated. I'm determined to get him on the "it's tough to be a bug" movie cuz i LOVE it and i know he would too.
Thanks
Desperate mom
Karen

 

[lovehoney]

Do you have a local amusement park, zoo or Children's Museum you can take him to? It might give you a better idea of how he will react.

 

[momof2cuties]

The only advice I have, is don't let him get overtired or go on anything that will scare him. My son was like this last year (also 4) and he was doing pretty good and LOVES Buzz Lightyear and wanted to go on the ride. None of us had ever been on it before so we didn't know what to expect. Well he was terrified. I felt awful and from that point on he was afraid of everything. I would skip anything that he is unsure of. With my daughter, it seems like if she is unsure of something and we push her to do it, she loves it. My son is the opposite. He is 5 now and a bit braver so hang in there, if there is a possibility that you will be going in a year or two he'll probably be fine then. The other thing to consider is maybe some sort of ear plugs, I think all the different noises was just to much for my guy and maybe it you cut down on the noise it will calm him too.

Have fun anyways - mine would rather spend time at the hotel pool than the parks. Not great when you spend so much on hoppers!

 

[Callalily6]

Both my kids were afraid of many of the rides b/c of the dark. This is what we did. 1. Ease him into it: Pick a non threatening ride - we chose small world and ride it until the child is comfortable. Small world is a good choice because it is bright and has a very kid friendly theme. 2. Bring a lightstick: McDonalds had been giving away hello kitty blinking necklaces the 1st year my daughter went to WDW. We brought it for the dark rides. I told her if she was scared to press it, so it would light up. That made her feel like she had some control and let me know to help her. 3. Preperation: I love the haunted mansion, but thought it would scare the tar out of my daughter. I told her that they try to be spooky, but that it is silly spooky. Like Mickey is playing a joke on us. Then I told her about one part that she could latch onto and look foward to - the dancing ghosts eating in the dining hall. I told her that they were having a tea party with pretty dresses. This was right up her alley, so once we got past the holding room in front and the creepy CMs, she looked for that and liked it.

And don't try that ride until last. Once you creep your child out, it is hard for them to just go on another ride. That is why you should find rides they like and ease them into it.

And there are lots of bright nice happy rides, so if he freaks out - Dumbo is every kids favorite. I never showed my daughter the movie, hoping to skip the long lines at Dumbo, but she gravitated toward it like it was made out of cookies or something. We also chose small world 1st b/c the riode moves slowly...Dumbo jets! Just kidding, but he does go faster.

 

[laughinplace199]

Obviously you know your child best, but I think "It's Tough to Be a Bug" might be too intense for a child that is afraid of so much. We tried to take our kids to see it when DD was 4 and DS was 2. They hated it and we had to leave! They do not scare easily, and they've seen the Bug's Life movie, but they HATED this attraction. DH and I had seen it many times in the past, but this was before we had kids. A few months after we tried to take the kids, we saw it again (this time without the kids). This time we watched it and tried to imagine what it's like for a small child. When it was over, all we could say was "What were we thinking? No wonder they hated this. It's too intense for them!"

I hope it works out for you and your son!

 

[prplcrzy]

I agree with laughinplace, if your child is afraid of many things, Tough to be a bug is not the attraction for him.

That has lots of things rolled into one, dark, bugs, smells, things poking you (sorry to spoil anything). Many kids are screaming and crying, which could also set him off.

Start out slow and work your way up. I also wouldn't "try" anything first thing into your day, it could spoil alot of fun to be had.

Have a great trip!

Nancy

 

[alisonbestford]

Afraid I have to agree that the 'Tough to be a Bug' movie might be too intense

We tried it when DD was 3 but she was terrified and has refused, point blank, to return (she's now almost 7)

She's fine with the outdoor shows, and absolutely loves any roller coaster she's tall enough for, but still hates indoor rides.
'Small World' was a definite 'no-go' until recently-and then it was closed for re-furbishment
This last time we took a tiny torch, which we told her she could shine on the floor, but she still chose not to ride the dark rides.
She went into both 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids' and 'Shrek' (in Universal) but only on condition that she didn't have to wear the 3 D glasses .

I think that, as children get older, and start to consider school etc, worries appear to escalate
I've just spent most of the summer break re-assuring DD that it's highly unlikely that the plane will crash when we go away, we won't be affected by a tidal wave (we live about 90 miles from the nearest beach ) she won't be shot in the street or abducted from her bedroom during the night and that, by the time I'm 90, she'll be in her 50s!
I know most of these worries are fuelled by her concern at going into a new school class but I'm exhausted!

 

[MelodyMack]

I agree with Tough To Be A Bug assessment. My DD is pretty brave, and she didn't hesiate to ride/see anything. However, the other kids screaming during parts of Bug did unnerve her, and we noticed a lot of parents leaving this show early with crying munchkins.

My advice would be to not make him go on anything that he is extremely adverse to. Start slow like previous poster suggested and you might be surprised how brave he gets when surrounded by Disney Magic. Besides, your trip is months away so you've got tons of time to hype all the "FUN stuff that is make believe and silly". Hype is everything IMO.

Good Luck!
Mel

 

[3DisneyKids]

We have a similar issue with pour DS (who was 5 during our last trip). My advice is the same as everyone else's, basically. Start with FUN and EASY attractions. heck, even start with Dumbo (or something you think might be too young for him) and work your way up from there. If you do somethign scary/thrilling right off (we started with Star Tours...MISTAKE!) it will take hours for him to get over it and be willing to try another ride.

For the dark ride, go to Wal-Mart's camping secion and get him a small, battery-operated glow-stick. These are similar to the "chemical" kind (that you have to snap), but it has a battery so you can turn it on and off. They come with a lanyard to wear around your neck...best of all...HE will be in control. If he feels it is too dark, then he can simply turn it on. This is also better than a flashlight b/c flashlight's can ruin the experience for other riders who want the dark.

I would NOT go on ITTBAB...if you love it, then make alternate plans...have DH take him to the Boneyard while you go. This is definitely way too much for a kid with fears.

This is usually a phase and most kids grow out of it. If you think his fears are "over the top", then consult your pediatrician. I hve a dear friend whose DS is really terrified of everything, and it turned out that he needed medication...now, everything is fine. So, find out the issues and do what is best for your son...even if that means no ITTBAB for you.

 

[robinb]

My 6 year old DD is not a scardy-cat, but at 4 even she was afraid of TTBAB. She was also not wild about the Haunted Mansion, Snow White, Mickey's PhilharMagic, The Muppet Show, Sounds Dangerous, The Great Movie Ride or Maelstrom. We have not even tried Space Mountain or Dinosaur, even though she is tall enough for both. We also bought a small flashlight for her to use when she was scared in the tame, but dark rides like Pooh and Peter Pan. They are available at the Emporium (as well as other large gift shops) and come in a variety of characters.

I also went with my scardy-cat 6 year old niece a few years ago and she was terrified by just about everything. Add the Tiki Room and the Rainforest Cafe to everything above that set her off.

I know it's frustrating, but you should remember the Tip of the Day from WDW: "Let the Cubs Decide if They Want to Ride.". You will all have a better trip.

 

[Ladyw/theTramp]

We had the same worries last year with a 2yo and a 4yo and taking a light is what we did also. We bought one there though. Last year Disney carts sold the light up "swords" .. They are like a flashlight with an extension sword on the end that you can flick out or in. They are the cheapest light on the cart (souvenir AND useful!) and when the sword isn't extended it works perfectly as a flashlight. Our kids took them on Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Carribbean.. It made the ride much less scary... By the end of the trip, my son was loaning his to other kids who were crying on the rides.

We also learned as much as we could about the rides themselves and talked incessantly about them with the kids before we went. There were NO SURPRISES!! They knew the Haunted mansion would have a silly room that looked like it was stretching and that there would be silly "ghosts" dancing, etc, etc. It was all spoilers at our house for weeks!! There was a great book we got at Barnes and Noble that catagorized rides by "scary, dark, loud noises, etc" It was a life-saver for us to be prepared!! I can't remember the name of it though.. Someone else might know.

We found a Disney DVD (I think it was promotional from years ago) that showed Imagineers making some of the rides. It was way over their heads, but it did give us the opportunity to show them that the things in the rides were pretend.. fake.. robots.. I think that helped. Then when the ride time came, we all said together throughout the ride.." You silly "---" (ghost or whatever) you can't scare me.. I know you're pretend!"
They would laugh (that nervous laugh ) and get through it. They thought it was great that Dad and I were saying it too.

We also talked to the kids throughout the whole ride/show. Pointing out things other than anything scary.. taking their attention to different places.. just not letting there be silence where they can worry. They might not hardly "experience" the ride the first time or two.. but they really get confidence knowing they went through, and were willing to try it again.

You can always try earmuffs too.. just to have/wear during rides that are loud.

Sorry this was so long.. but I feel for you.. We lived through it and so will you. Your kid will love the trip!!

 

[imsayin]

Don't force him to meet the characters. My DS has always been fearful of these giant characters, at ages 2-5.

 

[nliedel]

I paid a ton of moeny to take my three year old to WDW and day one we are in the Magic Kingdom. He sees Mickey and is all excited till the Mouse got close. Then he starts to SCREAM BLODDY MURDER and climb me like a tree. Great, thousands of dollars and the kid is terrified, someone quick bash me over the head with a rock. Well we head to Toon Town and there is Tigger, and Eyeore and Pooh! He yells out "Tiggor, Tiggor, I WUV TIGGOR! and off he shoots, twists out of my hand and is gone! Right over to Tigger and grabs his leg and hugs and hugs. The parents who were already in line were very nice about it. I pulled him away, we got in line and he got extra love when we finally got up to him. So the point of all this is go to characters your child likes FIRST! Tigger was really familier.

Next find a ride that relates to something he loves. My oldest LOVES Toy Story. We rode Buzz Lightyear a lot. Got him prepared for other rides. Now he is 8 and going back and this time I don't have to worry about character interaction. THANK GOODNESS One of the perks of getting past the little ones years.

 

[Wendaeh]

I agree with all the other posters about easing them in.

We went to AK as our first park when DD was 6; DS's were 8 and 9. ITTBB at the Tree of Life was the first attraction we came to, and the wait was something like 5 minutes -- great, let's do this first.

All 3 flipped out....never will go on it again. Learned my lesson real quick.....

Wendy

 

[DisneyPhD]

My DD tends to be rather timid, but she isn't about WDW.

When she was just under 3 years old her best friend came with us (his family) he tends to be very scared of things, but for the most part did fine because his best friend was there and she was really comfortable.

Prepareing is a good thing. The sing along song viedos with the them parks is great (The Disneyland fun one too, it is close enough to MK). It also gets them ready for how the charaters will look (how big they are.) They help prepare him. Look at maps and other planning things. I agree a glow or light up toy is great. We like buying a spinner there because it keeps them busy. We did make the mistake of leting my friends son chose what he wanted to go on 1st (buzz) and it scared the pants of him. He was able to clam down (after getting a new buzz light spinner.) and we chose the next rides (dumbo, carosel, peter pan,) worked our way back up. He was fine, infact sometimes he is more brave then my DD.

I wouldn't push any rides unless he is fearful of all of them. Start slow, be sure if you tell him it isn't scary, it isn't. I remember being in line for dinoaur and this parent was yelling at his young kid ( 7 or 8 years old) that dinosaur wasn't scary and to just get over it. HELLO, that ride can be terrifying! If you say it isn't, and it is he won't trust you again. There are lots of non ride atractions to start out on too. Maybe don't do many rides the 1st day. Ease in as much as you can. Also the face charaters are much less scary for kids then the costumes.

TTA can be good to start of, just be ready for the dark. Really just be ready for everthing so you can prepare him. When you are there prepare him buy maybe letting him see one of you ride a ride or interact with a charater 1st, to see that you are fine. DD didn't want to see the charaters for a while, but she wanted the picture and autograph, so she would go up there and get it, but not want anything to do with them. She is much better now.


Dont' have a lot of expectations of getting everything done. That isn't going to happen. But have fun doing what you kid wants to.